Essay by Chimezie Ihekuna


Chimezie Ihekuna

As men, we ought to give into sexual advances to women, whether married or not

If the statement is put this way: As women, we ought to give into sexual advances from men, whether married or not, the male folk will unequivocally have problems with it. Ironically, in loose terms, men generally tend to key into this deceptive assertion.  Hence, one of the reasons for male chauvinists treat their spouses less than second fiddles and simultaneously gratify their sexual thirst with other women, irrespective of relationship status. They fail to recognize that the women they “cheating on” have rights to take part in what they seem to derive pleasure from. Without a doubt, the statement “equal rights” irritates them!

Granted, men are moved by what they see and women are moved by what they hear. However, self-control cannot be excused for giving into sexual offers. Some men claim that the reason they give into sexual advance from women is due to the response of “the manhood” to sex-tuning offers from women and assert that the ‘seat of womanhood’ cannot be noticed and hence, women should not ‘enjoy’ such a right as they do. What an alibi!

The statement has two interpretations, that is, “As married men we ought to give into sexual advances from women”. And “As bachelors, we ought to give into sexual advances from women”. Therefore, we will consider them. 

“As married men, we ought to give into sexual advance from women”

If you on advocate of this statement, do you believe in the efficacies of marital vows you swore on the altar? Do you know that from the moment you took those vows, you are entitled to sexually submit yourself only to your wife? Are you aware of the fact that marriage is a life-long test of your fidelity? Also, can you remember how sincerely passionate you were about committing yourself (Sexually) to your wife? Have you forgotten that marriage is an institution where sexual, physical, emotional, spiritual and other important requirements are needed for its longevity? If you think that as a married man, you could give into sexual gratification outside your marital convenience, then where have you placed self-control? Apart from that, how would you react if your wife says:  “As a married woman, I ought to give into sexual advances from my male admirers”?

It is a generally sorry-case for men who get married without having the necessary knowledge of staying married. Ill-equipped with the necessary skills of managing one’s sexuality, they stumble into the institution, apparently believing their youthful exuberant tendencies will come to a halt but the reverse is the case. No wonder most exuberance – driven men cannot be sexually committed to their wives – they fail to really put to a full stop their care-free sex lives of their youth days.

In a way, this statement has made married men believe that there is practically no consequence. What a shallow thinking! If nothing, think about the guilt you will live with for a very long period of time. Of course, thanks to your judge, your conscience!

In all, if you really want to confirm how deceptive the assertion is, try self-control. 

“As an unmarried man, I ought to give into sexual advance from women”

Because you do not have a spouse doesn’t permit you to have “unlimited” sexual pleasures. Some bachelors would say ‘we are for the fun of having sex, since we are unmarried.

By observation, however, they would want to settle down and commit themselves to their (would-be) wives in future. Unfortunately, they fail to build the entirety of their personality; sexually (exercising self-control) and goal-oriented. Instead, they gallivant in the name of youthful exuberance to seek for sexual gratification.