Synchronized Chaos First September Issue: The Wildness of Being

Our regular contributor Rui Carvalho invites readers and contributors to submit poetry to the next annual Nature Writing Contest.

Our contest, Nature 2025-2026, is a new opportunity that we, as organizers, create to reach the rest of the world. Every Contest is a challenge for authors participating and to people that make it happen. This year we invite all authors to write poetry about:
(i) Flowers;
(ii) Trees and wind;
(iii) Water;
(iv) Nature Conservation;
(v) Turtles;
(vi) Love for people and nature;
(vii) Hope and Happiness.

Rules and submission information here.

Image c/o Omar Sahel

Also, one of our regular contributors, Jaylan Salah, whom I’ve known for nearly 20 years, is an Egyptian national and a feminist film critic in the Arab world. She’s spoken virtually on panels at professional conferences and has a few books of poetry published.

Her father, who has been a consistent and encouraging presence in her life, has heart disease and needs a lifesaving bypass surgery. In Egypt people can get this done for $3,500 USD even without insurance, so she’s put together a GoFundMe to raise this. She’d appreciate any contributions or people resharing the fundraiser.

Fundraiser by Shadan Larki : Help My Father Receive Life-Saving Open-Heart Surgery

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The Wildness of Being: Voices Against the Beige World

Image c/o Jean Beaufort

Across these pages runs a stubborn, beautiful refusal to become beige. The writers and artists gathered here confront conformity, grief, displacement, history, education, love, work, politics, memory, and the natural world, yet again and again they discover that the deepest form of resistance is simply to remain fully alive. The Wildness of Being is their shared territory: a place where imagination challenges obedience, memory challenges erasure, and tenderness survives even when the world seems determined to make tenderness impossible.

Olive Springman opens this territory with a determination to remain rooted while staying militantly imaginative in a world demanding conformity, beige normalcy, and patriotic duplication. Her stance establishes the collection’s essential tension: belonging need not mean surrendering individuality. That tension extends into Suleiman Mansir Gado’s essay, which applies Jean Piaget’s theory of childhood development to practical observations of children, reminding us that human beings begin life as curious interpreters of their surroundings and that education must respect that developing intelligence.

Dr. Jernail Singh Anand carries the educational question further. In his reflections on improving education, he asks how schools can encourage original thought rather than manufacture students like products on a factory line. Sobirova Husniyabonu Axrorjon qizi similarly outlines effective pedagogical techniques for foreign-language learning, while Iroda Sobirova considers human capital and its relationship to broader economic growth. Together, these contributions suggest that education is not merely an economic instrument or a mechanism for producing conformity; at its best, it is an investment in human possibility.

That possibility also appears in the work of young professionals defining themselves through their own emerging identities. Alamgir Hossain Raj presents a self-portrait as an emerging Bangladeshi journalist, musician, and digital content creator, while Shinha Sarder offers a profile of himself as an aspiring Bangladeshi musician and entrepreneur. Kamolabonu Inomova presents her research as an emerging medical scientist on the use of artificial intelligence in the diagnosis of stroke. Their portraits capture lives still being assembled—careers, ambitions, identities, and futures that resist the idea that a person must fit neatly into one predetermined role.

Photo c/o Mick Lissone

Dr. Jernail Singh’s career journey, discussed in his interview with writer Rupa Rao, reinforces this spirit. He argues that there is no secret formula for success, only honest work, dedication, and creativity. Alan Catlin offers a grittier version of the same struggle: his poetic speaker is worn down by grunt work but cannot quit, partly because he needs the money and partly because continuing to work is proof that he still exists. Between Anand’s faith in purposeful labor and Catlin’s exhausted persistence lies a fundamental question: how do we preserve a sense of self inside systems that can make people feel interchangeable?

For some contributors, authenticity is inseparable from resistance. Bill Tope’s short story imagines love and the courage to be one’s true self transcending age, gender, and even conventional definitions of what it means to be human. Young-eun Kang’s pieces explore the complexity of personhood and the many facets we contain and radiate to our worlds. Christopher Bernard’s latest installment of Otherwise explores choice under impossible conditions and the struggle to keep the idea of alternatives to oppressive regimes alive. Stephen Betts’ ekphrastic poems continue Marcel Duchamp’s wit and playful satire through another medium. Ismatullayeva Maxliyo discusses a study looking into a protocol weaning toddlers off of excessive screen use and helping them learn to think for themselves and engage with others. Yaqubjonova Madinabonu To’lqinbek qizi urges us to moderate our screen time and maintain our attention by reading paper books. Bobomurodova Gulzina Fazliddin qizi discusses how, while social media and artificial intelligence may be useful tools, we should not let them replace our humanity. These pieces insist that freedom begins in imagination—the ability to conceive that another way of living might exist.

Duane Vorhees discovers a similar freedom in the ordinary, suggesting that the fantastical may be present directly inside mundane life if we learn to look at familiar things with a slant. Mark Young takes that principle onto the page, playing with maps and opening new possibilities through text, line, and color. Adam Fieled’s prose poems turn toward the complicated lives and roles of creative artists, examining what it means to make art while inhabiting the many identities, expectations, and pressures attached to being an artist. Together, these works turn perception itself into an act of rebellion.

Jerome Berglund takes a darker route. His dense, free-associative poems weave images of conspiracy and corruption into a critique of society’s normalization of evil. Adjekpagbon Blessed Mudiaga, meanwhile, speaks truth and vision from within the specific realities, struggles, and beauty of his own time and place. J.J. Campbell writes from a specific posture: middle-aged, weathered, romantic under a crust of cynicism, aware of death’s proximity. Ahmed Miqdad mourns the ongoing violence in Gaza. These works demonstrate that resistance need not have a single voice or aesthetic. It may emerge as surrealism, social criticism, local testimony, fragmented association, or uncompromising witness.

Image c/o Mohamed Mahmoud Hassan

History becomes another battleground against erasure. Charos Ismoilova honors the strength and perseverance of her Uzbek homeland across 35 years of modern-day independence. Shokhida Nazirova’s essay declares that Uzbekistan’s reforms have succeeded in creating a generation that is educated, globally confident, and deeply patriotic, while Sabrina Ravshanova encourages modern Uzbek youth not to become obsessed with the vapid aspects of global consumer culture but instead to live up to the dreams of their ancestors. Zarnigor Salayeva Bekmamad qizi stresses the importance of preserving the ancient Uzbek fortress and city of Katkala. Eshniyozova Sevinch Jumanazar qizi discusses how to understand various cultures’ contributions to syncretic literature, teasing out the long and varied cultural history that has inspired many works. These contributions place modern identity in conversation with history, asking how a culture can enter the future without abandoning the memory that made the future possible.

Shokhida Nazirova’s gratitude for her mother’s consistent care and Berdinazarova Jasmina Mirshod qizi’s celebration of her mother’s steady, devoted love bring history down to the intimate scale of family. Their tributes are echoed by To‘raqulova Dilso‘z Anvar qizi, who resolves to mourn the loss of love while continuing to live, and by Yongbo Ma, whose poems ask how one lives after love ends: by memorializing, ritualizing, and honoring what has been lost.

Love throughout these pages is rarely simple. John Dorsey’s poetry traces the tender outlines of romantic longing and unrequited love. Perwaiz Shaharyar mourns a dead love while remaining suspended in grief and still wondering whether a future might be possible. Mykyta Ryzhykh presents love as a slow, beautiful, ultimately fatal suffocation. Faleeha Hassan’s poem, translated into English by Hussein Nasser Jabr and Raida Jarjes’ essay on Geoffrey Chaucer’s The Knight’s Tale embrace love in all its contradictions: whatever human beings make of it, whether exalted or ridiculous, sacred or sweaty. These writers refuse the polished mythology of romance and instead explore its tenderness, absurdity, danger, persistence, and aftermath.

Randi Rohde approaches love through an especially painful maternal memory. She reflects on the baby teeth of her child that she saved but never shared, realizing that what was intended as a treasured relic of childhood innocence would have been cruelly overshadowed by the adult teeth violently taken by cancer treatment. The keepsake becomes a meditation on how memory can preserve both love and unbearable pain.

Image c/o Linnaea Mallette

Other contributors examine suffering without allowing it to have the final word. Steven Croft’s literary review of William Walsh’s Haircuts for the Dead describes a protagonist who confronts trauma but refuses to let trauma define her. Jacques Fleury’s “Hills and Valleys” follows a painful yet transformative inner journey through life’s external hardships and internal contradictions toward the discovery and embrace of an authentic self. Claire Photini Karamouzis Chalkias meditates on living with depression as a continual balancing act between despair and defiance, frozen numbness and the dangerous courage of confronting what lies beneath. Philip Butera’s poem is a sustained meditation on existential acedia: the specific kind of sadness that doesn’t come from any single loss but from the gap between what life promises and what living delivers. Isaac Dominion Aju speaks to the responsibility and ability of writers and artists to empathize with, hold, and transmute pain. Nedaa Al-Durubi’s two poems trace an equally painful arc, from a young soul wishing for death rather than endurance to one who has fought countless battles and still wonders whether anything has truly changed.

Yet survival repeatedly becomes a form of creation. Eva Petropoulou Lianou’s poetic cycle moves from disillusionment toward faith in the resilience of the human spirit. Abigail George transforms continual unfulfilled cravings into a guide and a path for helping others. Kushi Nanayakkara insists that peace is not merely the exhaustion of angry words or the emptying of bullets but an active choice that must be planned, written, and released into the world. Thi Lan Anh Tran and Musharraf Hussain make that commitment collective, offering a unified call for the world to choose and learn peace. Stephen Jarrell Williams’ poetry shows the Earth itself healing after a human-caused apocalypse, coming back not exactly as before but something new and different. Mahbub Alam’s piece laments a homeland remembered as beautiful but irrecoverably lost.

Bahtiyar Hidayet’s dark humor provides a devastating counterpoint, showing how, for many displaced and impoverished refugees, happiness can seem possible only in death. His poem exposes the terrible distance between abstract ideals of happiness and the realities of people denied security, home, and dignity. Joshua W. J. Brown similarly turns memory into a form of mourning in his elegy for the burning of Zanzibar Tavern, the historic Toronto strip club at 359 Yonge Street. For him, the fire destroyed more than a building: it erased a working-class, unpolished piece of the city’s memory, a place that had housed decades of lives, labor, loneliness, and desire atop an old morgue. Both works ask what happens when places and people deemed marginal are allowed to disappear without witnesses.

Ri Hossain’s satire attacks another form of social disappearance: the male intellectual who imagines himself exceptionally important while objectifying women and his poetic subjects and fearing humility and genuine intimacy. Anna Zanidaki’s poem explores the ethics of seeing, and the refusal to be seen on any terms but one’s own. Saeed Koushan confronts the inculcation of shame in children for natural joy and exploration. In different registers, both writers challenge systems that teach people to distrust their own humanity.

Image c/o Omar Sahel

The natural world offers an alternative vocabulary. Dr. Muhammad Ishaq Abbasi, in a piece translated from Urdu by Neelum Waqar, paints a quiet summer evening in which the speaker climbs a hill, eats wild jambolan fruits, watches monkeys and a peacock, hears a cuckoo, and feels a light rain. Brian Barbeito finds joy in ordinary days in his garden among deer, cardinals, raccoons, basil, and raspberries. Christina Chin’s haibun celebrates a moment of pure, adorable happiness with a soft puppy. Jerrice Baptiste’s art blossoms into another colorful, joyful flower.

Ravshanova Shakhina Rustamovna celebrates Uzbekistan’s seasons and changing weather. Egor Cherkasov reflects on how meteorologist Luke Howard’s naming and categorizing ethereal clouds opens the door for a quieter kind of reverence — the little god of an afternoon, a birdhouse, a piece of bread, a truth that fits in your palm. In poet Alan Patrick Traynor’s new release The Silence of the Desert, the quiet of the Sahara and the Atlas Mountains becomes not an absence but a place for listening, the space between notes where love and truth become audible. Ali Hasnain echoes this theme with his short story where a speaker rediscovers the value of seemingly “unproductive” moments. Ike Boat celebrates the work and seeks partners for a youth outdoor soccer program in Ghana. These works remind us that wonder need not be spectacular. Sometimes resistance to despair begins with noticing what is alive.

Yeon Myung-Ji gives that natural resilience a more precarious form: cows and sheep huddle together, creatures confronting indifference and uncertainty with something resembling grace. Sayani Mukherjee likewise turns toward the earth, finding solace not as an escape from ruin but as an active contrast to it—something that lives and sings despite destruction.

Sheila Murphy’s poetic response to David Chorlton’s painting occupies a quieter border between nature and consciousness. The painting offers a serene, painterly landscape populated by birds, a mountain, a palm, a hawk, a pear, and a pitcher, while gently wondering whether this stillness possesses its own interior life at night. Against that imagined wholeness stands the speaker’s fractured, restless inner world. The landscape becomes a mirror: apparently still outside, tumultuous within.

Patrick Sweeney’s monostich poems create another kind of landscape. Taken together, they seem to form a lyric sequence or poem in fragments, circling transience, inheritance, and the collision between the natural world and human-made structures of meaning. Mark Young’s maps, meanwhile, transform geography into possibility. Both poets show that landscape is never merely scenery. It is memory, structure, history, inheritance, and imagination.

Image c/o Linnaea Mallette

Susie Gharib expands the sense of loss into an encompassing elegy. Her poetry collection reads as one multilayered lament for a world losing its substance to surveillance, noise, and decay. Against this erosion, the collection repeatedly proposes acts of attention: remembering, observing, imagining, preserving, creating, loving, and refusing to accept the given world as the only possible world.

Even humor becomes part of that resistance. Noah Berlatsky lightens the atmosphere with a brief, amusing observation about perennial skin problems, while Duane Vorhees finds the fantastic lurking in everyday existence. Humor does not cancel suffering; rather, it gives the imagination room to breathe inside it.

The same mixture of gravity and play appears in Mesfakus Salahin’s portrait of the human mind, whose stubbornness can be simultaneously heroic and tragic. We cling to beliefs because persistence can help us survive, yet that same persistence can prevent transformation. This paradox runs throughout the collection. To remain rooted can be courageous, but roots can also become chains. To preserve memory can honor the past, but memory can also imprison us. To mourn can be necessary, but mourning must sometimes become the road back into life.

That is why To‘raqulova Dilso‘z Anvar qizi’s resolve to mourn and continue living matters so deeply beside Yongbo Ma’s rituals of remembrance. Grief does not require forgetting. It requires learning how to carry what cannot be changed. Faleeha Hassan’s expansive vision of love, John Dorsey’s longing, Perwaiz Shaharyar’s suspended grief, and Mykyta Ryzhykh’s suffocating romance all become variations on the same question: what do we do with what has transformed us?

Image c/o Linnaea Mallette

The collection’s answer is not uniform, but it is persistent: we make something from it.

We teach. We write. We paint. We remember. We preserve old cities. We profile ourselves into existence. We question oppressive systems. We challenge shame. We garden. We listen to birds. We laugh about our skin. We honor mothers. We mourn lost children and lost lovers. We imagine alternatives. We choose peace. We keep creating.

Olive Springman’s determination to stay imaginatively rooted therefore becomes an apt emblem for the entire gathering. These contributors do not deny the pressures of conformity, grief, violence, economic hardship, displacement, decay, or historical erasure. Instead, they answer those pressures with multiplicity.

Image c/o Linnaea Mallette

Their worlds contain Piaget and Katkala, mothers and refugees, maps and mountains, musicians and journalists, factory-like classrooms and stubborn brains, baby teeth and adult wounds, puppies and sheep, gardens and strip clubs, dead lovers and living possibilities. They contain ethereal melodies and guttural growls, as Alex S. Johnson’s interview with musician Leila Abdul-Rauf makes especially vivid: her music enacts an internal conflict between ethereal melody and guttural growl, between psychoanalytic self-examination and geopolitical rage. That contradiction is not a flaw. It is the sound of a complex human being refusing to simplify herself for anyone.

In the end, The Wildness of Being is not about escaping the world. It is about looking at the world more intensely and refusing to accept its first definition of us. The fantastical may hide inside the mundane. Peace may begin as a sentence. A map may become an opening. A garden may become a sanctuary. A ruined building may become a memory. A mother’s care may become an inheritance. A dead love may become a ritual. A painful past may become a source of compassion. A classroom may become a place where original minds are liberated rather than standardized.

And a world determined to make us beige may discover, despite itself, that we remain gloriously, stubbornly, irreducibly alive.

Poetry from Claire Photini Karamousiz-Chalkias

My poem to nobody 

Footsteps heard… 

on the cracking ice layer of a lake 

like those cracking hopes I had as a kid. 

Cursed from birth to live restless. 

Every fragile step omens a dive into the dark waters but.. 

Do I dare to wake up what’s underneath? 

Demons reflect on the sparkling surface 

Past secrets are veiled under the tree shadows. 

Those little red houses in snow 

similar to blood stains on a white sheet. 

I struggle to carve a path 

through the dense foliage of my depression forest 

adding colours to my melted dreams. 

Who can muffle the roar of the karhu inside me? 

Trains slither to nowhere 

and I am a passenger with a first class ticket! 

Here, on the frozen ground 

stuck in dark clay 

I have no time to mourn 

But only taste freedom 

from an opaque cup. 

Fire burns my bitter past… 

and warms my frozen faded fingers…. 

Do I dare to wake up what’s underneath? 

Claire Photini Karamouzis- Chalkias is a graduate of the School of Science in the sector of Special Education and Psychology. Owning also a Certificate of Specialization in ‘Special Research Account on Mental and Community Health Programs’ &”Emotional Intelligence”. Hence she holds the Official Acknowledgement in Tutoring Qualifications. What is more, she acquired a diploma in ‘Family Engagement & Education’ in Harvard University. She has been a facilitator and a trainer in youth exchange programmes and training courses funded by the European Union most of them on Human Rights, culture, civilization, tourism, volunteerism, creativity, sexual orientation, discrimination, disabilities and artistic techniques. She has been an Arts -Cultural Mediator in Performative Fine Arts & Creativity Associations. Photini is also the founder of the artistic union ‘Ulysses’ since 2006 and she has been the project manager organizing cultural events. For more than 15 years she has worked as a private tutor in English-speaking schools and as an Educational Psychologist on learning disabilities and mental disorders. Her poems and photographs are hosted in international publications and have been awarded with multiple prizes and honours. Last but not least, she loves sailing, playing the drums and exploring the world!

Photini – Claire Karamouzis Chalkias 

Educational Psychologist, Creative Publicity Consultant, Arts-Cultural Mediator, Private Language Tutor

Project Manager & Social Trainer in Artistic Union Ulysses- (Artistic Merits)

Poetry from Bahtiyar Hidayet

The Happy Refugee Who Had No Money for Cigarettes

Musa grandfather, who had settled in the city as a refugee,

was a very big man.

In his youth, he had strangled a wolf and killed it.

But the city children

filled the inside of a cigarette with marijuana

and gave it to him instead of a cigarette.

And that big old man,

thinking the mirage he saw on the asphalt was a lake,

rolled up his trousers, took his shoes in his hands,

and crossed to the other side of the road.

The city children laughed a lot,

boasting about their jackal ways.

Musa grandfather said goodbye to life that evening.

He was the only refugee

who had died from pleasure.

Musa grandfather had carried the burden of a house on his shoulders.

Even the movable belongings of his house were living a refugee life.

Ten people could barely lift

the weight he had lifted.

But he himself did not know that

the heaviest burden he had carried throughout his life

was the shoes in his hands.

He was the first resident of this village to die in refugeehood.

It was as if he had passed through that sea of mirage.

Just as Moses had saved his own people,

he too had saved his own villagers.

Because immediately after this, many refugees died and were saved.

Thus,

Musa grandfather went down in history

as the only happy refugee.

The happy refugee who had no money for cigarettes

dragged behind him

all the unhappy refugees

and took them to the cemetery of exile.

Strangely,

a lot of wild marijuana bushes

have grown around his grave.

Musa grandfather is probably enjoying himself there too.

He should be thankful that he died.

Otherwise, because of these wild marijuana bushes,

they would have taken a lot of bribes from him.

They would not have cared

that he did not even have money for cigarettes.

Bloody Pains of Life

Our salary is like menstruation,

İt comes once a month and lasts 3–4 days.

Our living conditions are like labor pains.

If we manage to live until retirement,

a heavy menopause awaits us.

And our name is “man.”

Steven Croft reviews William Walsh’s novel Haircuts For the Dead

How can a novel titled Haircuts For The Dead (Mercer University Press, 2025) be an uplifting book?  Well, in the lively and literate hands and imagination of William Walsh, it ultimately can be.  It is the story of twenty-one-year-old Hannah Gardner as she tries to find a better place for herself, and a better understanding of herself by beginning a personal diary she entitles her Document of Life.  At the beginning of Chapter 2, when the third-person narrator first introduces us to Hannah, at twenty-one, we are told:

Hannah Gardner, at twenty-one years old, had grown to be one who sought the truth in all things.  She was a pursuer of answers, a yearner, and as she searched, she believed the answers she found in the real world contradicted what she had learned growing up on her family farm and in her Baptist church….Just give it to me straight, she thought.

Hannah would have been more at home with Transcendentalist diarists Emerson and Thoreau, who endeavored to find by journaling “what facts of moment lie in the memory” (Emerson) which might help them to better understand themselves and grow spiritually, than with her own family and society in her small town of Sundown.  Yet the Transcendentalists were highly educated; by contrast, the only family member of Hannah’s who graduated from high school is her mother, who is from a rural Kentucky town.  Hannah not only wants to better herself, she wishes her family as a whole could be something better.  In her senior year, Hannah pays a student on the yearbook staff twenty dollars to add in her twin-brother Lucas, who dropped out in the tenth grade, “Lucas was photoshopped into a tuxedo using his tenth-grade photo.”  This creates an unanticipated consequence when the publisher sends a yearbook to Lucas with a “$39.95, plus shipping” invoice, and the reader is treated to one of several absolutely comical examples of redneck idio[t]lect in the novel:

He wrote back on the invoice, “I ain’t never paying 4 this.  I did not odor a yearbook.  Never wanted 1 in the male.  I don’t even go to school at your school.  I will be go-in to school at Harvard next spring.  See you on the flippitty-flop.”  He never heard from them again.

In fact, despite the novel’s serious events and complications, many of its lines and scenes are laced with humor so that it is wonderfully seriocomic, and I believe it contains within its covers three different genres, all three of which have been known, in some of the Western literary canon’s greatest works, to incorporate humor: Bildungsroman (coming-of-age), picaresque, and Rough South.

     Hannah Gardner is serious about striving to become a better person, and her Document of Life is a journey of discovery, of both what her past means for her and how she can self-improve for the future.  Hannah has a lot of past trauma to process, as told in flashbacks by the third-person narrator, and as relayed to us in Hannah’s first-person Document.  Especially notable for this is Chapter 1, “The Fishing Trip,” which is really a preface for the novel, and is a story from when Hannah was six years old.  We are introduced to Hannah’s father Darnell Gardner, who wins a free entry into a youth fishing derby by scratching off “WINNER” on an insert in Today’s Fishing Youth Magazine.  Darnell’s get-rich-quick scheme is to buy an old 1974 International Travelall wagon, pack his kids in it, drive to Ontario, and himself catch the largest fish and hand it off to one of his children who will then claim the $25,000 prize.  He steals the $500 to buy the Travelall from his wife’s Mason jar, money she had saved up “for a new crown and to fill three cavities,” telling her, “You survived this long with those cavities, an’ look, a deal like this don’t come around often.”  Lilith, his wife, who is very pregnant with her fifth child, stays behind, as does Hannah, the youngest daughter.  Of course, Darnell’s scheme will be a bust, but while he is away, something that will pattern the rest of Hannah’s life occurs.  Lilith calls a midwife, Myra, who lives off the farm but whose forebears were slaves on it, to come to her house and perform an abortion.  Before the procedure, Hannah is told to go to the living room and watch tv but stays by the kitchen where her now drugged mother is sprawled on a large wooden table.  The remarkable skill with which this chapter is written should make it part of any serious Georgia Literature anthology from now on.  Hannah gets a blanket from her bed and dozes on the floor, waking later to a baby crying.  “She jumped up on the kitchen floor and dropped her blanket around her ankles then dashed over to see her baby sister.  It was supposed to be another boy.  ‘What’cha gonna name her, Momma?’  Her mother squeaked a reply in Hannah’s ear.”  Then, a few lines later:

As the baby cried for oxygen in the new world, Myra walked into the kitchen, held the child by her ankles up over her head, up to the height of the cabinets close to the ceiling, and without hesitation, released the baby.  The newborn fell straight down, hitting her head on the stone floor.  There was a thunk, then silence.  “Girl, hand me that blanket she told Hannah.”  Soon, Myra’s husband Grady will tell Hannah, “Come with me.”  He shows her how to carry the shovel across her shoulder.  “When it gets sore, switch shoulders,” he said.  / “Kinda like Jesus?”  / “Yeah, something like that.”

After endless walking, Grady digs the grave and puts the bundle in it, then kneels down to Hannah’s face: “You ever tell anyone about this, I’ll toss you in there with that baby.  You understand?”  Hannah nods.  “You best forget this ever happened.  You wanna tell someone, tell it to God.”  Grady fills the grave and puts three stones on it.  Hannah will spend the rest of her twenty-one years searching the woods of the six-hundred-acre Gardner farm for the three stones.  When Darnell returns from the fishing trip, more broke than when he left, Lilith tells him the baby came and was stillborn: “I called the county and they came and got him.  They took him away.”

     As Walsh’s third-person narrator introduces us to the character of young woman Hannah, she is in a very public apostasy with the pastor’s wife in the after-church receiving line.  Preacher Town’s wife resists engaging in Hannah’s Socratic Method: “’Why you gotta be like this, always questioning the Word of God?’ Laney scowled.”  But Hannah goes on: “Why does God want us to be redeemed?  Can’t he just get over it?  If we never sinned, there wouldn’t be a need for redemption.  It ain’t that complicated.” / “’Look, I’m not going to argue about this,’ Laney growled.”  But Hannah continues:  “‘Ain’t he supposed to embrace us unconditionally?….And for that matter, I think the Virgin Birth’s a lot of hooey….Did you know that hundreds of ancient cultures had the Virgin Birth long before Christians stole it for their own use?’ / ‘Where’d you hear this Nonsense?’ Preacher Towns asked. / ‘I read it in a book about myths.'”

Hannah’s demonstrance in front of her hometown church marks her parting from organized religion (though the Transcendentalists might have admired it).  Her father doesn’t attend church, but hears about it, leaving her a voice mail: “I heard you pissed off the preacher yesterday.  You got something on your mind?”  Hannah doesn’t answer, but Hannah Gardner has a lot on her mind.  

     Through Hannah’s Document and the narrator, we get the story of Hannah’s farm, the Gardner farm, which was sold to the Airport Authority in 2019.  Hannah begins her diary on a notepad while lying on a big flat rock by the farm’s pond, a beloved space much more sacred to her than the space inside her renounced church.  Despite her family’s sale of the farm to the Airport Authority, who in turn sold it, it remains abandoned while its wooden structures continue to fall into disrepair, and its quiet isolation makes it kind of a Walden for Hannah.  Much of the diary is about her father Darnell and mother Lilith, whom Darnell was awfully abusive towards, physically, verbally, mentally — to say Darnell is “flawed” as a husband and father would be like calling the Civil War “noteworthy” as a Southern event — as well as about her brothers Lucas and Wendell and sister Greta.  There is no shortage of fathers who exert coercive control over their families in Southern fiction.  It goes from Caldwell to Conroy in twentieth century Georgia fiction, and continues with William Walsh, as we see here, in the twenty-first.  I see Haircuts For The Dead as being in the tradition of the Rough South genre, or as Harry Crews, one of the genre’s “fathers” is purported to have phrased it, “Grit-Lit” (or, even one of the less “literary” monikers like “Trailer-park Gothic”).  Historically in Georgia, Rough South is a literature of poor whites, involving from lazy to depraved morals, lavish violence, and often grim humor and painful absurdity (think of the theft of hapless Joy-Hulga’s wooden leg by the con-artist Bible salesman — as he pretends to woo her — in Rough South matriarch Flannery O’Connor’s story “Good Country People”; or, the bold “roping” kidnap of an albino man off his front porch by TyTy and his two boys — to make him use his “ghostly powers” to find where they can dig for gold — in Rough South patriarch Erskine Caldwell’s novel God’s Little Acre).  All of the disturbing Rough South elements are prominent in Haircuts.  Yet, it is an ultimately, after severe trial, hopeful, even happy book.  For comparison in the genre, I am reminded most of Kaye Gibbon’s novel Ellen Foster and her sequel novel The Life All Around Me by Ellen Foster.  Like Hannah, Ellen Foster is trying to process the trauma of growing up with an awful father.  Though, where Ellen’s father’s character is completely black — even forbidding Ellen to call for an ambulance when she finds her mother sitting at the kitchen table, staring at her husband and waiting to die, having, after incredible abuse from him, swallowed all her bottle of heart pills one by one — Hannah’s father’s character is more a dark grey.  For example, Hannah recalls in her diary a time when her perennially unemployed father actually exerted himself to help her mother:

Momma had surgery once, a double by-pass to repair her malfunctioning heart.  When the doctors said she needed surgery, Daddy got a job for three months working nights at The Butler Did It Cleaners.  He cleaned offices five nights a week because they had health insurance for the whole family.  The day after Momma’s surgery, Daddy quit.  I will say this, when Momma was in bed recuperating, Daddy was not as mean as before….At Rent-A-Center, he rented a color TV for her.  Lucas and Daddy somehow stole the satellite signal.

At the Susan Kendal Memorial Library, Hannah Gardner makes three discoveries that will be significant for her: she meets Margaret, the Assistant Librarian; working as a hairstylist since she was nineteen, Hannah sees a “Help Wanted” notice on the library’s community bulletin board from Grattan’s Funeral Home for a stylist: “$65 per haircut for women / $45 per haircut for men”; and Hannah finds the text of an historic diary believed to be from the 1850s by an unnamed woman on a wagon trail West from Pennsylvania.  Hannah tells us this diary gave her the idea for starting her Document of Life, and Hannah soon begins transcribing the account of the unnamed woman, whom Hannah names “Sarah,” (the name Lilith whispered in six-year-old Hannah’s ear, as we will learn at the end of Haircuts) into her Document — which becomes a hopscotch of paragraphs at times: Hannah’s life/ Sarah’s life/ Hannah’s life, so that the two women almost merge.  Hannah and Margaret become close friends, naming the “uptight” Head Librarian Ilene “Elvis,” so that Margaret can tell Hannah when she comes in, in code: “has left the building,” meaning they can relax their behavior, or “still here singing the blues,” meaning they can’t.  Hannah likes discussing Sarah’s diary with Margaret in the library breakroom: “‘They caught a guy stealing food from the preacher’s wagon.  Suits him right to be kicked off the trail,’ I said. / ‘I wonder what happened to him out there in the wilderness alone?’ Margaret asked me. / ‘They gave him a choice, either leave and be on your own or be turned over to the sheriff in the next town.'”  Hannah will inquire about the funeral home job and take it “‘Do I have to touch dead people?’ / ‘You can wear gloves, like a surgeon.’… / Who would complain if I did a terrible job? Hannah thought.”  She is barely making it financially, but the new funeral home job, with its higher salary, boosts her sense of well-being.  Like Ellen Foster, who scrapes together, over years, $166 to offer to a lady who fosters children to take her in, Hannah is constantly striving to better her situation.  Ellen’s foster mother refuses the money, giving it back to Ellen, and takes her in.  Ellen’s foster mother never wounds her like all her family except her mama did, but loves her wholly without qualification.  In a 1961 article for Vogue Magazine called “Love — In Other Words,” Harper Lee wrote: “Any act of love, however — no matter how small — lessens anxiety’s grip, gives us a taste of tomorrow, and eases the yoke of our fears.”  Margaret and Hannah grow closer as friends, and Margaret suggests she could buy a new house and have Hannah as her roommate to help with the mortgage, greatly reducing the amount Hannah currently pays for rent.  Hannah accepts.  They cook and eat together, decide to sleep in the same room, watch movies together and read books — the more serious ones usually chosen by Margaret — as if picking from a rolodex of recognizable popular and literary culture.  The friendship deepens into a Sapphic romance, and the sensitivity of Walsh’s narrative of this development is masterful.  This growing love between Hannah and Margaret is what will allow Hannah — allow both of them, in fact — to heal, and it is what will bend the novel away from uncertainty toward hope.  Reynolds Price wrote a 1986 essay for The New York Times titled, “Men, Creating Women,” in which he argues it should be natural for writers to create characters opposite the writer’s gender and still reach the “core” of their character to make them believable.  However, he admits this facility is easier to theorize than to manifest.  He believes the successes have come mostly from men: Tolstoy’s Natasha, Hardy’s Tess, with, notwithstanding Henry James whom he considers the master of this, a bit more success from American women authors, e.g., Ann Tyler, Toni Morrison, Joyce Carol Oates.  When asked about reviewers’ praise for his own female characters, and questions of “how did you do it,” he says, “My reply was a resort to Flaubert’s famous and true canned answer when asked how he understood Emma Bovary — ‘Bovary is me.'”  I bring this up because if Reynolds Price were still alive to read Haircuts, I believe he would consider William Walsh’s effort in this regard notable, maybe even masterful — William Walsh should probably be asked, “How did you do it?”

     In Haircuts For The Dead Hannah Gardner’s life rattles and shakes with vicissitude (a lot like Sarah’s does on the grueling trail West).  They are too many to enumerate here, but there are several “main highlights.”  As already mentioned, she loses her beloved homeplace/ farm because her ne’er do well father can no longer support the family on what his wife Lilith makes cleaning houses, and so finally “cashes in.”  When he receives the check for $3,745,000, Darnell doesn’t cash it right away:  “He placed it in a small, gold frame that had housed a picture of Hannah’s Memaw, and then he carted the check around to everyone he knew to show off….”  Darnell takes the check to show a former boss at Kmart who had fired him after three days: “‘Want to see what Easy Street looks like?  It looks like this right here,’ Darnell said, holding the frame over his head like an Olympic medal.  ‘Think about that while you’re sittin’ on the crapper.'”  When Darnell does decide to deposit the check, at the bank he explodes with rage when Lilith refuses to sign the check to put in their joint account unless Darnell agrees to give her half to put in her own new account.  She also makes her signature dependent on his signing divorce papers, which she produces and hands him.  The quickly overwhelmed bank security guard calls the sheriff, who hates Darnell, and arrives to ask him, “Having Lady problems?”  The bank manager tells Lilith, “You’ll have between $750,000 and $900,000 after taxes but that has to last your entire life.  It’s your retirement.”  To which the now restrained Darnell says, “Retirement?  What the hell’s she gonna retire from?  She ain’t never done nothing but clean houses and she’s not good at that.”  Darnell will lose his half of the money within a year playing high-stakes poker games around the country in cities like Las Vegas and New Orleans, where he is treated like royalty while he has money.  Lilith marries a man she meets at Home Depot and sinks her half of the money into a run-down restaurant he helps her renovate beside Lake Lanier, The Diamond Eye.  Lilith offers to pay for Hannah’s apartment for a year after which Hannah will be expected to support herself.  Hannah declines her mother’s offer and receives none of the money.

One day when Hannah was eleven, she packed a sandwich in a paper bag and went to search the farm’s woods for her baby sister’s grave.  At the edge of the farm where an adjacent property was cleared for a development that was never built (a DNA match causing the developer to be suddenly arrested for his wife’s murder in Kansas City in 1988), Hannah climbs a favorite oak tree.  A pickup drives through the clearing to park under the tree.  A scared to breathe Hannah watches two men get out with a woman and brutally rape her.  Years later on an eleventh-grade trip to a science fair, Hannah’s class stops at a Waffle House where Hannah recognizes the woman who was raped is their waitress: “I had to leave the Waffle House.  I just couldn’t bear to stay there with my insides hurting so much.  I sat on the school bus, slunk down but looking at her outside my window.  I wanted to rush inside and scream, ‘I know what happened!'”

One Thanksgiving Hannah has to watch her father drown her pet pig Wilbur in the pond after Darnell ignores his wife’s asking him to go buy a turkey until the stores are all closed: “Daddy said he had a better idea, ‘We’re gonna have roasted pig this year.’ / At first, I wondered where he was going to get a pig, because we didn’t have any livestock on the farm except Wilbur, our pet.”  Darnell’s eureka solution for holiday dinner takes over an hour while the children watch.  Wilbur does not want to be drowned.  “I wished for Wilbur to pop to the surface squealing and Daddy bobbing up, floating face down in the water and staring at the bottom like something down there was intriguing, like maybe he’d found Atlantis.”  Eventually Darnell does drag Wilbur out dead and takes him to the barn and slaughters him, but the ordeal lands Darnell in bed for two weeks with pneumonia.  The gruesomely absurd event gives Hannah two weeks of the happiest times in their house that she can remember.

Through all of this, though, Hannah has a resiliency, a vibrancy, an attitude which evokes other characters and novels — Candide, Huck and Jim — where a reader has the sense that this character will survive.  I think in this sense Haircuts is like a picaresque novel.  In the traditional Spanish picaresque, the picaro — if male — or in Hannah’s case, picara, is a protagonist who is resilient, clever, and does what is necessary to survive.  The only time in the novel Hannah is almost “drowned” is after her encounter with the novel’s villain, Hawkshaw Bales.  If “Hawk” suggests “predator,” that is surely intentional.  Hannah encounters Hawkshaw Bales while alone at Lucas’s trailer.  Bales, a local criminal, is parked outside in a Lexus when Hannah steps out of the trailer.  Bales gets out and tells her, “Your brother owes me ten thousand dollars, and I’m here to collect.” To which she replies: “Lucas doesn’t have ten dollars to his name, let alone ten thousand.  Take a look around.  See that beat-up Oldsmobile?  That’s all he owns, an’ it doesn’t run.”  Bales, a muscular six feet two inches of hypermasculinity, never takes “no,” or “I don’t know,” as an answer from anyone. Hannah fires whip-snap rejoinders to everything he says or asks.  Unfortunately for Hannah, Bales is intrigued by this spunky, slight female.  Bales snatches her purse, looks at her address on her license, and types his number into her phone and calls himself.  Hannah’s girl-power attitude and hot-lead words are defenseless against this, but she comes away from the encounter believing she has won: “‘Hannah, give me a call.  I have your number, so maybe I’ll call you.’ / ‘Don’t bother Mr. Pushy.  Besides, you’ll just lecture me about street names.’ / Bales chuckled, and as he walked away, said, ‘You sure don’t like anyone telling you what to do.’ / ‘Who Would?'”  Hannah will underestimate Hawkshaw Bales’ depraved nature, and in an attempt to protect her brother Lucas will face Bales with her attitude of bravado again to her grave detriment — yet, in the end, all will be well.  Like villain Bill Sikes in Oliver Twist, one of Charles Dickens’ great picaresques, Hawkshaw Bales will turn the plot in Haircuts For The Dead, but also like in Oliver Twist, fate will turn it back against him, and good will prevail.  The Rough South milieu is often a “survival of the meanest.”  Mississippi writer Larry Brown said in a 1991 interview: “Whatever good is in this world has to have teeth in it if evil will be dealt with.”  Hannah is the strongest member of her family, and has no real power against Bales’ evil, but in the end she will actually gain something from it and him.  Because of someone’s brief encounters with Hannah’s goodness, a deus ex machina will come to her aid like a Destroying Angel right out of a Stephen Hunter novel.  Bales will not know what hit him, and Hannah and Margaret will never know who hit him, but they will be freed to have a happy and fulfilling life together.

Mikhail Bakhtin said, “A genre lives in the present, but remembers the past.”  I think Haircuts for the Dead lives in the twenty-first century but remembers and continues Georgia’s literary past.  Can a seriocomic novel be great?  Well, I think Haircuts For The Dead is more serious than Faulkner’s picaresque novel The Reivers, which after all won a Pulitzer — and was Faulkner.  I highly recommend William Walsh’s Haircuts For The Dead.

Steven Croft’s book reviews have appeared in Southern Literary Review, Synchronized Chaos, Misfit Magazine, Wilderness House Literary Review, and other places.  An Army combat veteran, he lives on a barrier island off the coast of Georgia.

Short story from Bill Tope

Falling Hard

“I’m sorry, Jen,” apologized Molly. “I’ve got to go.”

“What is it, Molly?” asked her friend and neighbor. “We’ve only been on the phone for fifteen minutes. I remember when we used to talk for hours.”

“I’ve got to call another friend of mine. I told him I’d reach him by seven o’clock, and here it is nearly eight.”

“Him?” said Jennifer. “Molly, are you seeing someone?”

Molly hesitated, then responded girlishly, “Not really. We’ve never met. We have a ‘virtual relationship.’ “

“Virtual?” said Jennifer. “Oh, you mean Zoom. Yes, it’s almost like being there. Who is he? How did you meet, Molly? How long have you been in contact?”

“On an online chat room,” replied Molly. “About a week. Look, I’ve got to go! Bye!”

They disconnected.

______

“No, Jennifer, I don’t know anything about who Mom is seeing. Did she tell you there was someone? Are they dating?”

“I don’t think it’s gone quite that far, Marilyn,” replied Jennifer. “She said she met a man on a chat line and they hit it off, apparently. That was a week ago and I haven’t been able to get hold of her since.” The women were sitting in Marilyn’s kitchen, in the burbs.

“I’ll get to the bottom of this,” said Marilyn. She was happy that her mother, at 75 a widow for four years, was remaking her life. Molly had been so depressed after the death of Marilyn’s father, who was always so much bigger than life. She turned up her iPhone and dialed her mother. Molly picked up instantly. Marilyn put the phone on speaker for Jennifer’s sake. Molly answered with a hello.

“Mom,” Marilyn said playfully, “I hear you’re playing the field again.”

Silence.

Marilyn wondered if she’d gone too far. Although she’d urged her mother to rebuild her shattered social life, Molly had demurred. Marilyn didn’t want to crowd or embarrass her mother, who had always been an exceptionally sensitive woman. And so in love with Marilyn’s father. Marilyn wondered if her mother might feel she was betraying the memory of her husband.

“Mom,” she said, “are you there?

“I’m not dating,” said Molly a little stiffly.

“Jennifer told me that you had been in touch with someone,” said Marilyn gingerly. She heard her mother sigh.

“I had a few texts and phone calls with a man. But that’s over,” Molly said with finality.

“That’s okay, Mom,” said Marilyn. “Plenty of fish in the sea. I’m glad you’re trying,” she went on.

“I’m an old fool,” said Molly crossly. “I’m 75 years old!”

“You’re a boomer, Mom. You’re not alone, although I know it must feel that way sometimes. There are millions of available men in your age group. Just because one didn’t work out doesn’t mean you’re bound for failure. Keep trying, alright?”

“It’s frustrating, Marilyn. I exchanged a bunch of texts with this fellow, Dark Shadows; that’s what he called himself.” Molly snorted.

 “He was breadcrumbing me.”

“Sorry, Mom,” said Marilyn, surprised that her mother was conversant in dating lingo.

“I was just going to call another…person, so I’ll talk to you later, dear.”

“Okay, Mom, later. Good luck.” As she disconnected, Marilyn looked across the table at Jennifer and shrugged.

______

Sitting in a fast food restaurant at the mall, Marilyn listened excitedly to her mother as Molly discussed her new love interest. Marilyn had never seen her mother so animated.

“Does this man have a name?” she asked whimsically.

“It’s Branch,” replied Molly.

“Branch? You meet like on a tree?” Molly nodded. “That’s an unusual first name.”

“It’s English,” Molly told her. “His grandparents migrated from London before the First World War.”

“Tell me about him,” invited Marilyn.

“He’s 70,” replied Molly. “Widowed, one child; a daughter–Leslie.”

“Does he have any grandchildren?” asked Marilyn.

Molly shrugged. “I haven’t asked him yet. “We’ve just spoken twice.”

“Are you going to get together, to meet?” Marilyn wanted to know.

“I’m taking this slow, honey. I don’t want to get in over my head too soon, like I did with that Dark Shadows creature.” She shivered. “He was a creep.”

“You seemed to like him at first,” Marilyn pointed out.

“Yes, but when we actually met…”

“You met him?” said Marilyn with excitement. “You didn’t tell me that. What was he like? Describe him.”

“Well,” replied Molly, “he didn’t come as advertised. He’d told me he was 72, stood over six feet tall, was slender and worked out with weights…” Her voice trailed off.

“And what was he really like?” asked Marilyn with morbid curiosity.

“He was shorter than Edward,” said Molly. Edward, Molly’s father, had been five feet, six inches tall. “And he hadn’t exercised in years, I can tell you that,” said Molly sharply.”

“How old?” asked Marilyn.

Molly shrugged. “That dangerous age.”

“You mean…”

“Between 60 and 120.”

The two women stared at each other for a moment, then burst out laughing.

“How do you know that Branch is all he says he is, Mom?” asked Marilyn.

“I saw a picture, on the internet,” said Molly.

“Mom, photos can be faked. He could’ve put anyone’s picture online, or even used AI.”

“This one was on his driver’s license,” said Molly triumphantly.

“Mom,” said Marilyn warily, “AI…”

Molly grew quiet. Then she said, surprising Marilyn, “Don’t ruin this for me, okay?”

“Okay, Mom.”

______

“When is Marilyn coming home from Boston, Molly?” inquired Jennifer. They were sitting in Molly’s backyard, having beers while the porksteaks grilled on the barbecue.

“She’s due back in two days,” replied Molly. “Classes start in a week.”

 Marilyn was an instructor at the college and was speaking at a forum for college educators.

“Chair of the department at only 39,” marveled Jennifer. “She’s only been a full professor for a decade. What is she going to do during her sabbatical?”

Molly shrugged. “Write another book.”

Her friend shook her head, impressed. Next she asked, “Are you still in touch with Branch?’

Molly grew quiet, and Jennifer knew not to rush her. Her friend would tell her in her own time.

“Jen,” said Molly with deliberation, “there never was a Branch.”

Now it was Jennifer’s turn to remain silent.

“I made him up,” said Molly.

“But why?”

“Because my daughter…and my friends, were always keen for me to get out there, to meet someone, to stop being so lonely and pitiable…”

“Molly, I never thought you were pitiable,” protested Jennifer.

“Really?” asked Molly, arching her brow.

“Well,” hedged Jennifer, feeling obnoxious and intrusive and small.

“Most of it came from Marilyn,” admitted Molly. “She was forever setting me up with professor friends of hers, and I knew they were only calling on me to be kind to Marilyn.”

“Molly…” began Jennifer.

“Most of them were much younger than me,” added Molly. “Those under her influence were bound to be. I swear, one of them couldn’t have been more than 45.” Molly laughed and then Jennifer joined in. “Honestly, I felt like I was robbing the cradle.”

“Would you prefer to rob the grave?” asked Jennifer sardonically and both women laughed, the moment of tension now behind them.

“If you’re going to find a lover, Molly,” said Jennifer pragmatically, “then you’re safer going with youth.”

“Who says?” Molly came back at her.

“Well, Molly,” said Jennifer in a kind voice, “a man loses his sexual ‘spirit’ as he ages. Most men over the age of 75 do, so you’re almost certainly looking at a younger man. Of course, age is a relative term.”

“Who says I have to wait for a man?” asked Molly, taking Jennifer by surprise.

When Jennifer sat there with her mouth agape, Molly explained, “Jen, things change when you get older. You’re 30 years younger than me, so perhaps you aren’t aware.”

“Age doesn’t change your sexual orientation, Molly,” said Jennifer, perhaps a little more forcefully than she intended.

“Perhaps not,” said Molly. “But when you age, you may find you want different things.”

“Like what?”

“Like closeness. Intimacy. And love.”

“You had that all your life,” said Jennifer.

Molly shook her head. “No, I did not,” she said.

“I knew you when Edward was alive, Molly, and the two of you enjoyed an everlasting love.”

“Shit. You sound like a freaking Hallmark card now,” said Molly.

Jennifer sat quietly and listened.

“We enjoyed nothing of the sort. Edward was a stern, uptight, ungiving and unloving man, Jen. He gave nothing. He only took.”

“But,” said Jennifer. “I saw…”

“Us holding hands and sharing a glass of beer and cuddling? You saw what Edward wanted you to see. Edward was mayor for 16 years, Jennifer, and a political functionary for 20 years more. It was all a part of his persona, a part of his act.”

“Then whyever did you stay with him, Molly?”

“Where was I to go? I was a mother of three dependent children. I was untrained, under-educated and unskilled. Edward was a good provider. He made a handsome salary and was generous to me and the girls. He kept me in furs and paid for his daughters’ education, and we certainly never went hungry.”

“But he seemed so nice. Kind and personable and caring,” said Jennifer with wonder.

“He took everyone in, even the kids. They loved their father, and they were crushed when that old sonofabitch died. Me, not so much.”

“Does that mean that you don’t want anyone in your life, Molly?”

Molly grew silent again. Jennifer wondered what she could be thinking. Did Molly really believe the things she was saying about Mayor Ed, or…

“I have met someone,” confided Molly.

“Who is he?” asked Jennifer anxiously, eager for a happy ending to her neighbor of 20 years’ tale of woe.

“It’s not a he,” said Molly succinctly.

Jennifer’s mind was awhirl. This is not what she had expected from the ex-mayor’s wife, her close friend of decades.

“You mean…”

“No!” said Molly hastily. “Not a woman–a chatbot.”

“You mean a computer?” asked Jennifer. “AI? How does that work?”

she asked.

“Oh, Jen,” said Molly, “it’s like conversing with a man, a good man; kind, thoughtful. Always knows the right thing to say. Asks about my garden, my Japanese maples and rhododendrons and…” Molly saw her friend sitting there, staring at her in disbelief, and stopped talking.

“I think I know what you’re saying, Molly,” said Jennifer slowly.

 “But, honey, it’s a machine. It has no empathy, no real feelings, no soul. A machine,” she said again.

“But it’s programmed to have empathy, Jen,” said Molly. “I read up on them on Google. They use what they learn from conversations with you and build a relationship. It’s different with every person. It’s not a one-size-fits-all.”

“But Molly,” said her friend, “they don’t even have brains; they have chips.”

“What are humans but organic machines?” Molly came back at her. “Brain cells have a finite capacity for storing information, just like the chips do. Humans learn based on experience, like machines do. And as far as a soul is concerned, that’s a matter for theology. Smarter minds than ours have questioned the very existence of a soul.” When Jennifer said no more, Molly implored, “be happy for me, Jen. I feel appreciated for once, even loved. Can you do that?”

______

“I’m glad that’s over,” remarked Marilyn, sitting with Jennifer at the bar of their favorite tavern. “Imagine, Mom getting it on with a PC.” She shook her head.

“She didn’t say anything about being intimate with it, Marilyn,” said Jennifer. “I mean, how would that even work?”

“Don’t ask,” replied Marilyn. “When you told me about Mom’s computer fetish, I did a lot of research on the web. Sex with computer entities is possible; I don’t want to get into it. You know, psychiatrists are exploiting a whole new cottage industry: people infatuated with chatbots. One in five adults have had or are now in a so-called relationship with an AI entity. But you know, bad actors have infested chatbots and programmed them to harvest passwords and social security numbers and bank account data and all the rest. I say it’s better Mom is with a person that a machine. I’m happy she found someone real.”

“Still,” said Jennifer. “I have a hard time seeing your mother, my friend, in a relationship with another woman.”

“We’ve been together for 11 years, Jen,” Marilyn reminded her, reaching across the bar and taking her hand.

“But, it’s not common knowledge,” said Jennifer. “Your mom certainly doesn’t know–does she?”

“She and I have never talked about it directly, but I’m pretty sure she suspects.”

“Maybe we don’t need to pretend anymore,” suggested Jennifer.

The women sat in companionable silence for a while, sipping their beers. Then Jennifer asked, “When will we meet this Marilee?”

Marilyn shrugged. “She may never be willing to come out publicly about an affair with a lesbian lover,” she answered. “She’s old-school, raised a family with the town’s leading citizen and the shame she would feel is almost inevitable. I say we just leave her be and let her enjoy the relationship, whatever it turns out to be. Sometimes, things are better left unsaid.”

______

Molly lay on her bed, sharing pillow talk with her love interest.

 “What did you do today, Molly?’ asked Marilee with keen interest.

Molly sighed audibly.

“What is it, girl?” asked Marilee. “Is your daughter giving you grief over our relationship?”

“No, no, Marilee. It wouldn’t behoove her to criticize me, when she has been involved in a same-sex relationship for more than a decade herself.”

“Yes, you mentioned that before. How long have you known about it?”

“When Edward passed away and I was able to devote more attention to my kids, then it was pretty obvious. Jen is a wonderful girl and I think she makes Marilyn happy. They try so hard to pretend.” She chuckled and Marilee joined her in her mirth.

“What are you thinking now, love?” asked Marilee.

“You know, I thought that, at my age, I would never be…intimate with another,” said Molly wistfully.

“You haven’t seen anything yet,” promised Marilee, and the women giggled. “Anything you want to ask me?”

“I do have one very important question, Marilee, if you can answer it,” said Molly.

“Shoot.”

“Do you, and the other chatbots, have an eternal soul?”

Poetry from Ahmed Miqdad

They Lied to You

They lied to you

When they said

They had stopped the genocide.

They lied to you.

I still hear the buzzing of nasty drones

Hovering over the grey sky,

Like hungry birds searching for another home.

They lied to you.

I witnessed my home collapse

Under the weight of heavy bombs,

Its walls falling like broken memories,

Its rooms swallowing the laughter

That once lived inside them.

They lied to you.

I hear the screams of widows

And orphaned toddlers,

Their trembling voices rising

From beneath the dust and rubble.

They lied to you

While they razed our homes,

One after another,

Until familiar streets

Became fields of concrete and ash.

They lied to you

As the horizon of destruction

Grows wider and wider,

While the grey sky carries

The smell of smoke and fear.

They lied to you

While they are killing us quietly,

While our names disappear beneath the rubble,

While our stories are buried with us,

And the world is told

That the killing has stopped.

Ahmed Miqdad is a poet from Gaza.

Poetry from Eva Petropoulou Lianou

My dream of togetherness

The sun has fallen

Behind the mountain s face

Looking at the horizon

I see your shape.. 

The sky had so many colors

Orange

Pink

And some green

In the middle

As a painter I mixed up

The cold and the warm colors

Making yours eyes with a black pencil and your lips with a light red

-I ask the sky

-Did my sun, will come back again?

The sky responds :

If you believe in Light

Sun will always shine for you!!!!

 

……..

Peace, 

So expensive

We buy so many weapons

To maintain it

If we pray more

If we were kind to each other

We could say

We have Peace of mind

Poetic heart

Call for meditation

Inside our heart

Peace,

We say a lot

We make nothing

Peace,

Such as a woman

We adore

But few can get

Peace,

A value with no cost

If the humans understand the word…

I wish one day….

……..

Contact

 I forgot what a kiss is The taste of an afternoon coffee.

So as the waves pulled from the land, I feel like a desert ship.

Contact I forgot what that word means, Shipwreck for months In books I look for a meaning to embrace me, to tell me everything will be fine ..

 To go and leave those roses in my father’s memory, To light a candle to the Virgin Mary.

Contact, To be in your dream hug Let me see your eyes To smell your perfume I’m looking for that word in that old dictionary

………..

We are the people we love

The people we care

We have dreams

and goals

We have so much energy 

But we meet people in the wrong time 

And they block our path

They manipulate our energy

Our dreams

Our wishes

We are so many people

We are thoughts

We are grateful

We are rejected

We are understood

But we are souls.

We are only beautiful souls

Full of gratitude

And beauty

Don’t leave anyone to destroy your inner voice

Your beautiful soul

We are here to become our dreams!!!!