Essay from Chimezie Ihekuna

Chimezie Ihekuna

Deception 8

Divorce is Normal

          Over the years, divorce rates have been on the increase and questioned the potency of marital longevity.    Unequivocally, there has been a normalcy in noticing this uses as most homes and families have embraced this phenomenon as a way out of apparently insurmountable marital challenges. Hence, the reason ‘divorce is normal” is appreciated by most people of the world.

         However it is observed that some people marry for trivial reason and as a result of divorce for trivial reasons.    What they fail to realize is that it is one thing to get married. It is  a different ball game to stay married .      It is loosely akin to when an individual purchase a car.

         The paramount concern is not necessarily the cars purchase but the maintenance to ensuring  its fitness and value for –money recognition.    Divorce become a way out of challenges associated with staying married.

         As stated, some people get married for trivial reasons and as a result, divorce for trivial reasons.   

Therefore, we will consider the (likely) rampant reason people marry which subsequently engender divorce; an approach to tackle the challenge of staying married.  The following give the trivial reasons people marry and hence divorce

  1. Physical appearance/looks
  2. Sex / Sexuality
  3. Money/Material needs
  4. Sympathy/Generous disposition

(1)      Physical appearance/looks:- Is the expression “your dressing determines how would be addressed” true?   You would be astonished that one of the real reasons people get married is simply because of “good looks” or an appealing physical appearance of their spouse, under the guise of first-thing-that-attracted-me expression.       On the contrary, it is factual that looks are deceiving.

         The quality of character is more important than paying strict to physical appearance.

This does not mean that physical appearance or look is not necessary but must not be used as criterion or foundational recognition of marriage. If you discover that the then good looking boyfriend of yours is really a morally or sensually dirty type and the foundation of your marriage to your husband (your then boy friend) was laid as physical what would do if you cannot “stomach” his really dirty or unpreventable persona ? A divorce suit will likely be contemplated.

Sex /sexually: Some people marry due to sexual competence of their spouses. As a matter of fact ,people hose foundation of or reason for marrying is based on sexuality are arguably not sexually faithful. Consequently, based on a not – concrete marital foundation, such marring suffers set-backs. For instance, a man whose sexual Prowess was well exerted on his wife (who married   him primarily because of his sexuality:  sexual power) declines will undoubtedly be perturbed ; the suspicion that his wife long for sexual gratification from competent individuals is crystal clear .

         There is a case of divorce suit fired by a comer on the grounds of the size of her husband’s manhood she complained bitterly that his cannot be satisfied action.

(2) Money/material needs: Deception 5 explains the fact that money and other material needs are man-made invention which are subject to transient conditions. Arguably, most ladies base their marital limelight on the recognition of money. Material needs and money has become rampant in the notion of young men and women in their vices on a successful marriage. In other words, people hare used the yardstick, money to as certain the longevity and success of marriage. Unfortunately, the is a marriage as unforeseen setbacks have unarguably eaten deep into the tenets  of many marriage ,despite immense financial and material availability .If you lay the foundation of marriage on money, how would you cope with your marriage if there is as alarming financial downturn that will eventually affect your husband’s financial position ? would you not ponder as alternative divorce ? Only time will tell!

Sympathy -: the most concrete foundation of any successful marriage is true lover. However, people marry on sympathetic grounds —- based on socio –cultural conditions.

         There was a particular case of a lady raised in a family subjugated by abject poverty, who went through the thick and thin to secure her way in the university. Luckily for her, she fell in love with a dashing young man from a well –to- do family. They got to know each other better and subsequently decided to be intimate a relationship was set up. Knowing her background, he felt compassion for her and vowed  to marry her after their academic years as the university ,since they were level mates. Unknown to him, she portrayed a camouflage behaviors to realize her long – awaited dream — parting away with his opulence at the long run. Really, their relationship thrived from the hard nut to the lengthy years of follow-ups; commitment and sacrifices, despite strong opposition to the fruiting period of marital bliss. Without a doubt ,it was a red letter day to both parties as they were in a state of euphoria. Celebrated by every Tom, Dick   and Harry  that attended the talk –of-the-town occasion, the couple was decorated with different gifts, words of exhortation and congratulatory remarks . For the next five years, the couple was living a happy life of marriage as both parties gave in their “all” and help each other in every aspect they recognized .The ugly truth which he never anticipated was that she had been strategizing a not- easy-to –suspect strategy to abscond with his opulence, no thanks to her “chameleonized” good behaviour. Finally the deed was done but did not succeed absconding, though she had en massed his wealth to her private account (an account he never knew until he was told).To save herself from further embarrassment, she sued him for a divorce. Though she did not get to have a share in her husband’s assets. She eventually got what she wanted-a divorce and the transferred money

Similarly, most people who marry in the recognition of generous disposition end up abruptly settling for divorce, since they realize the difficulties in put up with their excesses in the pursuit of staying married. Celebrities, politicians, captains of industry, acclaimed religious scholars and leaders and even the common people are seldom victims of the consequence faced generous disposition. Because she selflessly showered her generosity towards you, should  this be reason for your marrying  her? Unfortunately, people do marry for this reason.

Divorcees claim the reason they divorce is because they married wrong partner. Why the  “wrong” partner? Someone with his right senses when sieving (separating the grains from the chaffs) must be sagacious and patient to get the anticipated. Else, the result will obviously be unpleasant. In the same vein, this is the case of divorces who claim to have been married to wrong partners. To such people, this is an advice: Find your wife or husband in a number of women or men.

 Consequently, divorce has crippled the efficacy and importance of a family as the nation’s building block, truncated parent-children relationship, encouraged juvenile delinquencies, promiscuity and other forms of moral decadence. “Sufferers” of divorce situations especially children are said to be on the loosing side of parental affection and grow up as adults with dysfunctional psyche and potential threats to the society. Divorcees are generally restricted from eminent positions of service to the society. For instance, if an individual wants to be a governor in  the  U .S .he or she must have his or her marital status read “married “ with proven evidences of a good home and presence of the mentioned spouse. Let us Zero in on this instance. If divorce is normal, why won’t you be allowed to contest as a Governor in the U.S.( Remember, the U.S. is loosely believed by people in third world countries as a nation where there is an alarming divorce rate)?