Gender roles in society

Beyond the Binary: Gender Roles and the Diplomacy of Open Minds

Introduction: The Personal and the Spiritual

In a world that is increasingly interconnected, how we understand and respond to gender roles is more than a cultural footnote—it is central to our spiritual journey, governance, development, and personal relationships. Gender roles, as outlined in the Bible, are not fixed ideologies etched in stone; they are dynamic, evolving, and deeply contextual.

My own experience is proof of this paradox. In my family, gender roles have profoundly shaped the way we relate to one another. The traditional expectations we inherit dictate our responsibilities and aspirations, yet an underlying discord remains: each of us operates within the cusp of our acceptance and understanding. This limitation constrains our ability to evolve beyond preordained roles—yet the capacity for change exists, if only we make space for it.

A Brief Historical Backdrop

Historically, gender roles have been constructed through a complex web of religion, economics, war, labor, and culture. Ancient matrilineal societies like the Minangkabau in Indonesia or the Iroquois Confederacy in North America stood in contrast to the patriarchal structures of ancient Rome or feudal Europe. With the Industrial Revolution came a rigid divide: the public sphere for men, the domestic for women.

The 20th century shattered many of these binaries. World Wars I and II saw women entering the workforce en masse. The feminist movements—from the suffragists of the early 1900s to the second-wave feminism of the 1960s and intersectional feminism of today—challenged inherited norms and demanded new paradigms of equality and representation.

But progress is not linear. In some families and communities—including my own—tradition persists, creating tensions between progress and resistance.

Personal Reflections: The Limitations of Acceptance

Growing up, gender roles shaped my family’s dynamics in ways that often felt immovable. There were clear expectations—who was responsible for earning, who managed household affairs, who was granted emotional space, and who bore the invisible weight of cultural obligations. Yet, as our world evolved, these once-fixed roles felt increasingly impractical, if not outright restrictive.

At times, I saw my father wrestle with the idea that nurturing was not solely a maternal trait. I observed my mother balance professional aspirations against unspoken pressures to maintain domestic harmony. My siblings and I, in different ways, have questioned why we must conform to roles dictated by tradition rather than individual potential. This disconnect—between the roles we inherited and the realities we live—demands dialogue, effort, and an openness to change.

Case Studies: The Global Friction in Gender Roles

This struggle is not unique. Across the world, individuals and institutions grapple with the limits imposed by gender roles.

Example 1: The Japanese Corporate Landscape

Japan, a country known for both tradition and technological advancement, continues to struggle with gender equality in the workplace. Despite progress, corporate hierarchies often reinforce expectations that women should prioritize family over career. The result? Women frequently face the “M-shaped curve”—leaving the workforce after childbirth with limited re-entry opportunities. But change is happening policies advocating for parental leave and inclusive work environments are slowly reshaping these structures.

Example 2: South Africa’s Shift in Household Dynamics

In South Africa, gender roles intersect with economic realities. Historically, patriarchal structures placed men as primary providers. Yet, with shifts in employment trends and societal expectations, women increasingly assume financial leadership in families. This transition is not always met with acceptance, leading to conflicts where traditional masculinity clashes with contemporary survival needs.

Example 3: The Rise of Nonbinary Identities in Legal Frameworks

The recognition of nonbinary identities in countries such as Canada, India, and Germany marks a significant departure from historical gender binaries. However, legal acknowledgment does not automatically translate to social acceptance. Individuals navigating gender fluidity often encounter resistance—not due to inherent opposition, but because established frameworks struggle to adapt.

Why Keeping an Open Mind Matters

Open-mindedness is not about abandoning one’s values—it’s about making room for other realities. In diplomacy, this is especially vital. Misunderstanding gender roles in a host country can derail peace talks, foreign aid programs, or education campaigns. In everyday life, failing to listen to different experiences creates exclusion and resentment.

In my own family, I’ve seen that the mere act of listening—without immediate rebuttal—creates opportunities for dialogue that were once impossible. Understanding precedes transformation.

Five Ways to Keep an Open Mind About Gender Roles

Interrogate Your Assumptions

Ask yourself where your beliefs about gender roles come from—family, religion, media—and whether they still hold true in the face of new evidence.

Listen Without Rebuttal

Let people speak about their experiences without preparing a counterpoint. Listening is not the same as agreeing, but it opens the door to understanding.

Consume Diverse Narratives

Read books, watch films, and follow thought leaders from different genders, cultures, and identities. Empathy grows through exposure.

Be Comfortable with Discomfort

Growth often comes from discomfort. If something challenges your worldview, sit with it. Ask why it feels threatening.

Update, Don’t Cancel

You’re allowed to evolve. Holding a belief ten years ago doesn’t make you irredeemable—it makes you human. Be open to changing your mind.

Conclusion: The Diplomacy of the Self

Gender roles are no longer dictated solely by tradition or biology—they are in dialogue with economics, technology, global mobility, and generational change. In that dialogue, the most effective diplomats are those who can listen deeply, adapt respectfully, and think critically.

In my own life, I have seen that acceptance and understanding are the first steps toward change. A family, a workplace, a nation—none transform overnight. But a modicum of effort can create ripples that extend far beyond personal experience.

An open mind is not a passive one. It is a powerful tool for transformation—of policies, institutions, and most importantly, of ourselves.

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References

• Beauvoir, S. de. (1949). The Second Sex.
• Butler, J. (1990). Gender Trouble: Feminism and the Subversion of Identity.
• Maathai, W. (2006). Unbowed: A Memoir.
• Geena Davis Institute on Gender in Media. (n.d.). https://seejane.org
• UNESCO. (2019). Gender Equality: Heritage and Creativity.

UN Women. (2024). Progress of the World’s Women Report.

For the Drug Addict in the Northern Areas of Gqeberha (Port Elizabeth)

We are living in a Renaissance, the African Renaissance. Attachment to the anticipation for the future arises from having high levels of a false construct that is held deeply within our core, where our personality resides, and rooted in our consciousness. Addiction arises from need, the need for freedom. The addict needs love. They get unconditional love, self–worth, a feeling of no regrets, self-love, love of self that is unselfish, all-encompassing kind of love and self-acceptance from the ‘fix’. The addict needs to feel accepted despite the mistakes they have made in the past. If and when the past does not exist for the addict they feel safe.

They begin to self-regulate their nervous and auto-immune system. The addict wants control. They want to control the high, the elation they receive from the substance they are consuming recklessly, without any thought to the injury they are doing to their brain. Does the addict live in the past, constantly bringing up painful memories from a conditioned childhood that they had no control over? It is a form of insanity to live in the past. This is a simple and profound statement that leads to understanding what Deepak Chopra said, that addiction has to do with karma. All humanity has a higher intelligence.

This exists in the animal world as well. You cannot escape now. The addict exists in the past. They relive past trauma, adverse childhood experience. There is an attempt to control the pain, the thoughts of the environment they found themselves in as a child where the trauma took place, the persons who hurt them as a child, adolescent or adult. Addiction arises from the mentality and mindset of having not received access to love from the same-sex parent or either parent and not having received adequate care, concern and unconditional love from parent, authority figures like a teacher, uncle, aunt, grandmother or grandfather, elder, church leader. Nobody asks what the addict needs. The addict requires a life of intention. They need to cultivate habits that will restore and renew good health, a sound mind and body. They understand on a subtle level that addiction will lead to their downfall in society, overdose and even death.

Therapy can lead to a happier existence for the addict, talk therapy, joining a support group, receiving support from a loving and attentive partner who is an effective listener, and believing in a religion. They need the company of a good friend or friends that they can participate in meaningful activities with who is also an effective listener and who offers them support. There are tools that are instrumental for our survival and communication. For example, our thoughts, emotions and feelings are part and parcel of that survival.

The now is what we experience in the present tense, the fleeting moment that  is gone in a second and that can never be replaced. Change and transformation can take place in the drug addict’s life but only with the loyal support of their family. Isolating the drug addict will never work because they too need a community (see promiscuity, sexual misbehavior, rape, gangs, gangsterism and gun violence). Religion also has its role to play in the foundation and education of the psychological framework of the individual. Healing and recovery can take place. It is the addiction that is the residual effect of abnormal thinking, incorrect habits cultivated over time and brain damage. The addict’s brain is indeed damaged and not just by the abuse of substances but by not adopting society’s norms and not living by and accepting religious values and views, and ideas.

The notion of time is ever-present at the back of our minds as we, the human race, humanity, chart our course in this world. The world a drug addict lives in is a world that is unpredictable. The addict feels unsafe, deeply unloved, misunderstood, misrepresented, rejected, isolated and alienated from his peer group, his contemporaries. They face self-doubt and insecurity on a daily basis. For the most part they are unemployed, although there are individuals who suffer from and crave illegal substances who try to go out into the world and seek gainful employment. There is a stigma that exists in modern society against a drug addict in recovery. People feel they cannot trust a drug addict and that they haven’t really changed. They are just going to steal to support their drug addiction.

With aging comes grace and acceptance. Acceptance is a key equivalent to love, and so are accepting our past, accepting our shared history with family members, siblings, parents, aunts and uncles and cousins. I believe there is a genetic code within all of us that pre-empts what is going to happen in our lives but nevertheless human choice, individual choice, and the choice of the collective, the choices we make, whether good or bad, choices that give us, our brain, our physical bodies cellular networks, our psychological framework and network negative or positive feedback can also inspire the lives we lead at the end of the day.

What the drug addict wishes to do by taking, imbibing, consuming, injecting, abusing the illegal substance or buying over the counter prescription medication is to mask, veil, cover the trauma they were exposed to, experienced or witnessed, whether it was verbal, emotional, physical or sexual assault. I state this explicitly. The community can help. It starts with the family unit. Listening, accepting, talking, not rejecting, and not isolating the drug addict, because isolation can result in suicide ideation, relapse and hospitalization (a long period away from home). The drug addict comes from a dysfunctional family unit/background, a weak family unit. The drug addict possesses intelligence. They know and sometimes acknowledge that they are harming themselves. Addiction affects the entire family.

Humanity Grows Cold in the Wind’s Howl

Spring flaunts its wild, dazzling passion across the fields,

Summer’s blazing hues vanish beyond the skyline,

Autumn arrives in gilded splendor,

leading a tribe of carefree immortals—

only to fade into winter’s bleak, snow-lit silence.

The Earth was never truly ours,

its soil long stained crimson with cold-blooded fury.

Thick snow blankets nature’s desolation, its indifference,

while melting patches expose the brutal history of beasts—

their savagery, their slaughter.

Only the wind understands humanity,

watching generations thrive and wither

amidst the drizzle’s murmur,

leaving behind untold secrets.

In the depth of blackened stillness,

a sound erupts—

a wolf-king’s simulated shriek, so piercing

it tears the night sky asunder,

scattering frozen stars upon the ground.

Who doesn’t yearn for the Earth to reclaim

its primordial grace?

June 12, 2025, Liang Garden, Shanghai

Liang Zhiwei is a famous antique collector and poet in Shanghai. Editor of the supplement of Shanghai Labor News. Member of the World Chinese Poets Association.

The years that the night is judged by the sun

The years that the night is judged by the sun

Whistle blowing became unpredictable weather

Owls, weasels in dark holes

Even ants

In the age of brightness

don’t know where to go, alley

With countless lyrical faces

The leaves of the trees smile with delight

and you’re hiding from the dawn

In the darkness of the night

On the street, Once you meet the people

Invisible body

Hide your evil and stand still

Shiver or deliver the fear

• Flowers and flowers, mutual suspicion

At that time, I did not understand

My home is planted with the flower of sin

Arguing in this convicted garden

Flowers and flowers, mutual suspicion

Why and where

I just find out

Alone, with my back to the sun, thinking

Eventually, the rhizome is broken and out of the land

And the birds fly back from afar

Staring blankly at the sky

Difficult to find the nest at dusk

Time drinks down sorrow

Often looking for a man called Zen

Trying to put puzzles on the side of the road

Waiting for the birds to pass through

Feeling the wind in this direction

In the ahead Inn, with the gap on the white wall

Time  drinks down sorrow

The shabby house is old for a long time

No a drop of wine can be added to the drinker any more

The cracking windows seem to guide

you into yesterday

And into the mottled wheat field

（Tr. By Amy）

Cheng Yong, born in Shanghai. Writing poetry and cultural relic appraisal. 21 literary and cultural relic appraisal works have been published. Selected International Poems of the Chinese and Foreign Writers Association (Editor in Chief), novels “Delingha Prisoner” and “The Beauty of the Official Kiln”. The long poem “A Thousand Line Elegy” was published in the United States, among others.

Noble

The name of the Noble is very famous,

The stir also varies, the quality is also full.

Noble -In the quality of the job & purpose,

“With the good will of the behavior of the use,”

Move in the pearl method.

To create a beautiful chain,

In the display of the chain, the rules of the chain,

The stars are also expanded in the thought,

In the description of magnanimous generosity,

In destiny in the inflamed shrimp,

In setting the example in infinity.

The family exemplifies the “Noble Family”,

In the mutual respect of each member of the family It will be possible.

Noble mentality, noble presentation,

Noble dedication,

Noble expression should create noble looking.

Noble’s touch in Smartness,

To handle yourself at the noble.

To keep yourself wrapped in the noble,

whole life lives in noble

Amb. Dr. Priyanka Neogi from Coochbehar. She is an administrative Controller of the United Nations PAF, librarian, CEO of Lio Messi International Property & land Consultancy, international literacy worker, sports & peace promoter, dancer, singer, reciter, live telecaster, writer, editor, researcher, Literary journalist, host, beauty queen, international Co-ordinator of Vijay Mission of Community Welfare Foundation of India.

SEIZE THE MOMENT! 

As hands and feet lift from the ground, 

The Sun wraps Night in its golden shroud. 

In Ramadan, secrets are found, 

As Laylat al-Qadr shines,

Moon-bowed… Seize the moment!

Live it bright! 

Let moments merge in sacred light! 

Verses stream in luminous flow, 

To hearts that love, in whispers low… 

As you strive, defeating desire, 

You rise beyond, your soul so higher. 

Angels murmur in hushed refrain, 

You dissolve into the cosmic plane… 

Blessed be Laylat al-Qadr, my Friend, 

Blessed the night where hearts ascend!

 Every gift from the Divine, so bright, 

Is the crown upon our heads—pure light!

Shamsiya Khudoynazarova Turumovna (February 15, 1973) was born in Uzbekistan. Studied at the Faculty of Journalism of Tashkent State University (1992-1998). She took first place in the competition of young republican poets (1999). Four collections of poems have been published in Uzbekistan: “Leaf of the Heart” (1998), “Roads to You” (1998), “The Sky in My Chest” (2007), “Lovely Melodies” (2013). She wrote poetry in more than ten genres. She translated some Russian and Turkish poets into Uzbek, as well as a book by YunusEmro. She lived as a political immigrant with her family for five years in Turkey.

Choke 

Sometimes, I get that pain again

Choke with deeply desired gain

Drown helpless under torrid rain

Life shackled, mind empty drain

You care much, heart’s in strain

Offer heaven, but hands in chain

Filled up to squeezing tight brain

Forget the balance you did train

Wishing power not just for vain

The love for family is the main

Resetting desire to normal plain

Release, reality again explain.

Fidelity

Fiery red droplets of your blood

See how they warm my frozen heart

On the Greek’s golden fleece, they flood

Passions never to fall apart

Beelzebub has curdled your blood

Death and Chaos have torn your heart

The golden fleece, dark clouds did flood

Misery’s broken us apart

Let Courage flow free in your blood

Let Love reside inside your heart

Let Hope drown your despair in flood

Let Trust reunite what’s apart

Fiery red droplets of my blood

See how they heal your broken heart

Siris’ juice, Zeus’ feast shall flood Jericho’s wall, we tore apart

Lilian Dipasupil Kunimasa was born January 14, 1965, in Manila Philippines. She has worked as a retired Language Instructor, interpreter, caregiver, secretary, product promotion employee, and private therapeutic masseur. Her works have been published as poems and short story anthologies in several language translations for e-magazines, monthly magazines, and books; poems for cause anthologies in a Zimbabwean newspaper; a feature article in a Philippine newspaper; and had her works posted on different poetry web and blog sites. She has been writing poems since childhood but started on Facebook only in 2014. For her, Poetry is life and life is poetry.

Lilian Kunimasa considers herself a student/teacher with the duty to learn, inspire, guide, and motivate others to contribute to changing what is seen as normal into a better world than when she steps into it. She has always considered life as an endless journey, searching for new goals, and challenges and how she can in small ways make a difference in every path she takes. She sees humanity as one family where each one must support the other and considers poets as a voice for Truth in pursuit of Equality and proper Stewardship of nature despite the hindrances of distorted information and traditions.