Seeing Desperate Lives

The photos make me feel a hundred years old:

Schoolroom made rubble, skeletal steel frames

of desks somehow standing, withstanding the blast;

exhausted fireman sitting in the living room

of a burning house, admitting defeat; woman

with concerned face dappled by sun through leaves

of her yard's beautiful trees leaving her village house,

one forearm holding a fluffy white kitten, its face

buried in her shoulder.



They are desperate, and I tire of mainlining

their anxiety, so I look up from the phone

into my rearview, at the sun-scorched asphalt --

the road beyond my yard's tree cover

is molten with summer sun.  I wheeled in

and looked up Ukraine, like I do at least once a day,

and it makes me feel a hundred years old.  So,

I do the only thing I can think of to forget:

step out of my pick-up, take shoes off toe to heel,

pull off socks, walk my pine straw and oak leaf drive

onto the sizzle heat of road, and its sudden tactile feel

in the flesh of my feet consumes me.



And I am here, now, away from war, and soon

I am young again, walking barefoot

the hot paved parking lot to the state park spring

that began a river in Florida, that mine

and two other families caravanned to in summers,

the hours of swimming, the picnics in a blanket of grass

by sedges, herbs, and wildflowers at river's edge.

Until -- the burn's ministry becomes too much,

and I walk back onto the cool of pine straw, open

the truck door for the phone, look again

at the places I will never go to anymore.



After Russia invaded, I talked with my Iraq vet friend

David who told me of two acquaintances

who went into Ukraine to rescue the in-laws

of one of them, native Ukrainians, and I said

I could no longer handle war psychologically:

my mind hearing the ominous thump

of helicopter rotors, distant artillery, pounding

"danger close" seconds later, high flying planes,

birds of prey dropping dots of bombs that ride

gravity's slipstream to earth, plowing earthquakes

that reverberate, spit heat and flame

against everything natural.



He tells me of the healing power of yoga,

how he's started yoga teacher training.

Next time we talk, I'll have to tell of walking

a hot street.  I look again at one of the photos.

I'm well removed now, twice, through the lens

of the camera, through the lens of the phone,

but I remember the pain of watching starving dogs

being shot by laughing Iraqi soldiers, and I wonder

where the woman will take her cat.




Year 2, Ukraine



It was last year that the shelling first disturbed

the deep time of an old village, hub for farmers

and beekeepers



Now tanks roll into the square again, one crushing

the stone walls of a central fountain, old coins

fall with the water from its heavy treads



In the corner of the square, from the alley by

the Armenian church, a shadow strides, moves

into the square



Pacing here and there erratically, palm to temple,

this walking wound gathering breath to force insults

in growing gasps



This man whose family was killed in last year's shelling

The Polish radio says his government is winning,

at 10:00 and 5:00 daily



He thinks the war has already gone on forever  Bitterly,

he thinks the war has already killed him  A soldier shouts

"Khokhol!" in the language of bears



Waving him closer from the height of his round, iron hatch,

the soldier points a pistol  This dead man loads his mouth

with more insults and rushes forward



Into the loop of everlasting war  In the sky's drizzle on his face

are tears that were once salty seas




Prayer for a Savior




Come for your gentle people

who shudder in this darkness



bring your sovereign brightness

unbreakable shield of goodness



let misfortune, famine, disease,

war, become faraway sounds



make them gray at the temples,

let them fade away



give us a spell of warm sun, soft

winds, clear rain over green valleys



we know death is stronger than

suffering -- may you open its horizon



of strength in this living season and

forgive our fragile clay, wounded



hearts, that for heaven's peace

can't wait.

A US Army combat veteran, Steven Croft lives happily on a barrier island off the coast of Georgia on a property lush with vegetation and home to various species of birds and animals. His poems have appeared in Liquid Imagination, The Five-Two, Misfit Magazine, Eunoia Review, Anti-Heroin Chic, Synchronized Chaos, and other places, and have been nominated for the Pushcart Prize and Best of the Net.

Mother

I get it when it's full of flowers scent
I can't find a single scent
I can't distinguish my mother
From a thousand tosser

Mercy is a river, my pure-hearted mother
I have only one value
To be alive for my child
Eat our sorrow day and night

He gave me a white wash
Until adulthood
I will see my child's happiness 
Give us a lifetime.

I'm just concerned about your emotional warfare, and putting the Charlie in Baudelaire 

Not racist, heaps border fears

Bought their ears

That's why your night's in arrears

As for the secret weapon, it's in our pocket

Not timeless, just rock it bored of years

I turn on the tele just for a fix of fears

Here they have the barkeep glitch our beers

Don't snitch on peers

No, put snitches on piers

Treading on thin nice try, left swipe

I don't want to live in a sci fi

Haven't moved in a year, these things moving up me, they say it's not divine

The main attraction, but still got sidekicked

So fishy they had to more real than reel us in

You can call me a wit, man, cos I lilac

You can call me a Whitlam, cos it's time

To get kicked out by the CIA

I mean CI Gay, but don't tell my wifi

I do skylines thru the eyes, chemtrails, clouds

Walk in, all the fems loud

Get the train rail off all its routes

Now when we need it, they just cough up the doubt

We don't smoke green, jist chop up the louts

Can't help, we already shot up the Galts

Why do you think we look so young for?

I've got power you can point at, but you can't dock yours

I've only got six mull in my sock drawer

I only look so I can drop jaws

I won't robocop to you any more

I won't drop you any flaws

Except the price one

A word to the high rise can't be undone

No batman bout the raves, but you can say I'm Robin

Like you don't underline what these dreams be costing

I'm getting plaid by Ryan Gosling

So it's myself on the red

Carpet I'm accosting







So few memories


I chuck myself out the pub was getting too rowdy


Pack up my things say howdy 


Order up a beer relight the bounty


 kindle my ounces and single my prouder


Movements out on TV


Units back from Jon doe ray me


Jumped from hand into my mode de vie


And from there, into my ode to me


And my shadows are irritable again


Can't understand I'm not my friend


sallows my cheeks, second elderhood


But the youth I'm shooting says there's hell to prove


 Only rules I like the ones the dead flout


So I guess that's why you had me at get the fuck out




Queen of Odds


So close to me like the cure

So closed to me like the future 

Closer it gets the looser the thread 

we cut the loser instead - that me

Choose you over life; you make me happy

When skies are out of service

And the winds are getting blabby

Just as we do, and did last night

Are you sure we didn't do this in a past life?

We ask nice and the ocean lets us surfers

Float instead of sink somehow 

shear the shore winks to make us go wow

try to make clouds treetops won't kowtow 

Everything about you is pow wow bow wow 

Just flowers me thinking, like, our souls're grouse foul

you be my perso climate change

Get me glitching all the whys away

With greenhouse gas lines

We need replace, but 

Resources're 

lacking, time too

 Sick coal still too powerful

Must est there; bower's full

Hours neither heat nor cool now

lost compass

meaningless, sour

flip flops clip clop on the way home from the drowse 

I'm deconstructed away from you

Remodernist me, babe

Frack modest

Tee it up - you truly, madly, deeply think these rhymes are proper gay 

But so are you - I got you, bae

And without warning, the coffee plate spins out of control absent of intervention

And we console ourselves with what? Yawning indecision?

Bring bring listenings no bring bring listen

Oh, it's Sly? Tell em I said die

Like the weather changes. Concrete's quicksand 

Whooshes the kitchen back to us

Some kind of catalyst to see what matters to me 

 Say can't cap a way free

But actually, if you and me….

Bloodbath valley, guts to rally, no dilly dally, gashed up alley, one cashed up sally, who taking the tally?

But sometimes, just sometimes, you can be a wee illuminasty

Shut up and farm me 



Am I a terrorist

for planting heroin in the president's office?

For insulting old codgers with my eloquent doctrines?

For inviting riots to decry it all the president's options? 

I'm intelligent often, I'm the resident boffin, I'm selling your coffins, inventive

a god send me down to change the face of rap (crap),

now whenever we play they claptrap back

to the clawing, bored and faded

the drawing board was always awesome jaded

I'm bold and brain-dead

Sold out and tasteless

Must have the language virus

Eating up an anguished iris 

I'm very good at dissection

Highly likely I will die sectioned

On the outside in 

We let the bouncers

Spin them away from daggitude 

You don't have to do with it a dagger, dude

Looks like crazy

Pfft, you should see the streets that staged me

Recurrent I: Walking to New Mexico in My Sleep

It takes nearly no time at all, this quick jaunt along 
the Oklahoma Panhandle, so long as I don’t stop 
to admire huge temples of fossil fuels: white miles
of pipes bending upon themselves, bathed in a sort
	of perpetual just-past-dusk not-quite-light,

all clean and humming with no one around (at least,
	their acres of well-lit parking are unoccupied.)

I say
		nearly no time at all,

but it is more true to say 
		There is no time to take; 

it is always three in the morning, so that I am 
		eternally up late but never running behind.

I can never get past Clayton when I go this way, 
although I am not sure whether I am supposed to,
	so perhaps it all works out.

The hotel there is far too big for a small town; 
I suspect this is by design. Otherwise, how could
	there be these ingeniously (maddeningly)

laid-out hallways, too narrow to turn around in,
purporting to lead to my room but instead spiraling 
	ever inward for nonexistent miles and hours?

Someone is waiting for me here. If I can only 
remember who, perhaps I will be allowed to arrive.

I would check my watch, but I already know the time.
 

Kansas City Which is Also Overland Park, Kansas: Dream I

It takes a while to place this stretch of street (or rather
streets), with its red-brick antique stores, its hair salons,
its bakery and gallery and anachronous travel agency.

Someone, it seems, has folded the map so as to overlay
45th Street east of State Line and 80th west of Metcalf,
then set it down on a steepish slope, east at the bottom.

Two small white houses, one on each side, sit atop
the street. They are in slight need of paint, but not
so badly as to get letters from either city or both.

This street exists nearly perpetually in early evening;
on rare occasions, you might catch it on a sleepy 
Saturday morning. It is always sometime between
late May and early July, and the air often smells
	of hidden roses and imminent warm rain.

The sidewalks are empty, but there is a sun-faded 
red pickup – a round-fendered Chevy, something 
that rolled off the line in Truman’s only full term –
	parked halfway up the hill on the south side.

Whatever might lie to the west, beyond the hill’s crest,
I have not seen it. I am not sure that anyone has, aside 
from whoever lives in those white houses. Sometimes,
	dark songless birds fly over from that direction.

No matter what time it is, the businesses all closed 
five minutes ago. I will have to come back tomorrow.

 
Third Floor of My Office Building Which is Also the Rec Room in My Old House: Dream I

It all started downstairs, an offhand Nerf ball dunk
on an eight-foot plastic rim; I hung in the air just
long enough to estimate the gap from soles to floor.

Now, with an audience and a high ceiling, I have
decided to give this new ability a full workout.

First rising to tiptoe, as men in my family always
do in times of urgency or strong emotion, I bounce
twice on the balls of my feet, then swing arms back
forward up and rise – less a true leap than pushing
off from the bottom of a pool, letting buoyancy
do the work. I latch on to a rafter by my fingertips,
swaying in the faint breeze of fans electric and human.

A high-pitched sound in my ear; somehow I know –
an instinct born in my late middle age –  that this is
not the ringing born of jamming my head into my 
favorite bar band’s speakers back when that sort of
thing made Coors-Light-and-idiocy-fueled sense.

This is the song of air in my lungs, air lighter than 
itself, and when I release it all and take in new breath, 
I will be floorbound again, and old, and ordinary. 

My landing is slow, soft; I inhale deeply, prepare for
	another takeoff, but all novelty has worn off.

My colleagues disperse, reoccupied by meetings
and deadlines. I should go to lunch soon, I suppose –
but first, let me rise one last time, be more than
what reality allows. (Just one more last time.)

Perhaps I can master a sort of hovering swim, shoot
a game of eight-ball against myself without ever 
touching the floor. Slop counts, or at least until I
get the hang of hanging at the proper height.

What else is one to do on a Friday, the codes of
	dress and gravity both suspended with pay?

Training and Visit in Thailand

At First I thank the authorities of the ministry of education of Bangladesh and the authorities of TQI -II project for this nice and excellent arrangement for the overseas training of the secondary school teachers to meet with the challenges for fulfilling the demands of 21 century education plan. Now Bangladesh is a developing country and we are living in a globalized world where the countries are living as the families in the villages. So communication has become a great factor nowadays. Our government is trying to develop the four skills listening, reading, writing and speaking specially for the secondary level students in English language. As it is the only medium for communication with the other countries of the world, there is no exception without developing competencies and skills for teaching in English language. English is not only a language but also a culture. So, we, the language teachers should have the experience of overseas training to implement the methods and techniques of the developed countries regarding the classroom situation and it must have a direct impact on dealing with the regular classroom activities.

With a great effort of our team leader Professor Mohammad Jahangir Hossain, Deputy Project Director (Finance and Admin), TQI-II project along with Khaleda Akhtar, deputy secretary, Ministry of Education and Assoc. Prof.  Manzar Alam, Additional Director, HSTTI, Khulna, a full package of our 25 members started for Thailand by plane from Dhaka Airport just at 11.05 am on 16 September, 2018. Thailand is in the middle of mainland Southeast Asia.  Its total size is 513,120 square km which is the 50th largest in the world. 

Before flying to the land our Project Director, Mr. Jahir Uddin Babor sat with us and suggested many good things on how to suit with the culture of the people in Thailand. Different country has different culture and tradition. So, how we should behave and what should be our mission and vision thinking all sides our project director made us conscious of this. As a team leader Prof. Jahangir Hossain guided us very strictly. When our plane landed in Thailand airport, we all became astonished to see the world famous airport, Subornobhumi.  This is also a lesson for us how fast the world is running and how the artistic beauty lies in the architectural structure. Then the two guides Annie and Chu waiting for us at the airport gate, smiling soft over the face, received us very cordially and took us to the President Park Hotel by three micro buses.

To describe the impact on overseas training firstly I want to utter from my realization that a teacher cannot establish himself as a good teacher without being a proper and a good learner. He/She must raise himself to be a kinesthetic and at the same time an auditory learner as he/she is a language teacher. For this reason tour or sightseeing can provide much opportunity for developing these capacities in the classroom situation. Our government is trying to develop our education system in all regards. So overseas training in Thailand and its sightseeing is very important to learn on how to develop the participatory method in the classroom situation. It can help the teachers develop the learning activities following the rules of teaching and learning process through pedagogy.

Our training in Thailand fulfills the demand that our government runs with the plan SDG (Sustainable Development Goal). In Bangladesh the English language class in the secondary level is designed in the curriculum of participatory approach. So teachers must have the practical experience to engage the learners more interestingly. Therefore I think that this sightseeing experience has a great impact on teaching and learning in the classroom situation.         

On the next day on 17 September, 2018 we set out for a tour or sightseeing at 10.30 a.m. as there was no training session on that day. Both Chu and Anny guided us and they took us in Santichaiprakan Park, meaning the park a fort, the victory of peacefulness. Here from the old one alone to the young couple or lovers may come to have a peace in the breeze of the river, Chao Phraya under the shade of the banyan and other large trees. In the north side corner of the park there inlays on the walls sculptures of the various cultural people of Thailand who contributed in so many areas like agriculture, art and craft, patriotism and so on. These cultural people remind us the famous line, “Art for art’s sake,” that expresses a philosophy of the intrinsic value of art. Through these cultural reminders we can remember our famous personalities for their great contribution in literature, art and politics like famous poet Hason Rasa, Jasim Uddin, Shamsur Rahman etc, famous painters Zainul Abedin, Quamrul Hassan, SM Sultan etc., famous politicians with patriotic feelings sacrificed their lives for our language and country. They are Salam, Barkot, Shafiq, Rafiq, Jabbar, Bangabandhu Sheikh Mujibur Rahman, Mawlana Bhashani, Hussain Suhrawardi etc. If the pictures are shared in the classroom among the students and make an environment to compare the things in between Thailand and Bangladesh, it must broaden the outlooks of our students.

The Park is situated on the east bank of the river Chao Phraya. Over the river we saw a hanging bridge on the opposite side of the park that enhances the beauty of the sight. It’s a nice place indeed. Then we started for Wat Aurun Buddhist Temple. Wat Aurun is called the Temple of Dawn, located on the western bank of the Chao Phraya River. This temple is one of famous landmarks of Bangkok. It was constructed in the 17th century, and is very attractive in its striking prangs (pagodas). Its central prang is 82 metres high which is the tallest prang in Thailand. This temple reflects the beam of the sun rise and the sun set which charms the tourists very much. These temples have religious, social and moral values which reflects its artistic infrastructural beauty to the heart and by sharing the sights with my students in the classroom they must grow a new idea about Thailand and can compare Bangladesh with its religious and cultural diversity. After visiting the temple we returned the President Park Hotel at the evening.  

Sightseeing is one of the important parts of any overseas training. 

In our fourteen days training program almost every day we visited so many important and traditional places. So, on the first session of our training our facilitator, Mr. Chukiat Ruksorn, Director, ETO (Extension and Training Office), KU (kasetsart University) suggested us to visit the country and gather experience. We visited so many shopping malls like MBK market, Indira market etc. We visited The Nongnooch Garden and Resort, The Orchid, Pattaya Sea Beach, Gems Gallery, Art Gallery, Floating Market, Grand Place etc.

After coming back from Thailand when I open my videos and picture galleries from laptop and show my students the Subornobhumi Airport and the sceneries of floating market in the grade eight class while going through the lessons in the class they become so happy and feel very interested. There are some lessons on The Tha Kha Floating Market and The Subornobhumi Airport in our grade eight English text book. So regarding all the things our oversea training in Thailand has direct impact on the teaching and learning process in Bangladesh that can enhance the beauty of teaching technique in the classroom situation.

From visiting Ruamrudee International School in Thailand, we got some new experiences and the students of that school are thought in full English language. The syllabus is maintained from America. At that time there were 100 teachers teaching in that school and the school was run by four fathers. Teaching side by side co-curricular activities are the regular practice of the school. It is one of Thailand’s leading international schools and a model of excellence and innovation in global education. This school is run with the philosophy by creating an environment for teaching the students with care and compassion which we, the teachers of Bangladesh can follow and make our learners more progressive by following the innovative approach to education.

Visiting to Grant Palace & Wat Phra Kaeo (Temple of the Emerald Buddha): The Grand Palace and this temple located in the same compound in the very heart of Bangkok, are most frequently visited by foreign tourists and local people alike. The Grant Palace is famous for its impressive buildings and was established on 06 May, 1782. Beside this palace, the Wat Phra Kaeo is renowned as the most beautiful and important Buddhist temple in Thailand. It is so richly and intricately decorated that once entering the temple, visitors will feel as if they were in a real “city of angel”.

In Bangladesh from the teachers’ overseas training experience this Grand Place can be used for improving the listening skills in the classroom for the students and they can get new idea about the new place. Or it can be used as the teaching and learning process in the classroom for discussing after showing the video or picture of The Grand Palace. It can be used as on how to maintain knowledge and skills in the educational context and it considers interactions engaging the teacher with the students during learning. This act of teaching process follows pedagogy referred to our curriculum. 

Art Gallery: There is an art gallery in Pattaya, “Art in Paradise.” This Art Gallery symbolizes the beauty of the modern world. It is divided into different theme halls. This is an imaginary world or a dream land where the visitors can let their imagination go wild or pose in the way they can think of to get their photos. Art in Paradise is divided in several sections as classic art, nature, ancient civilizations and optical illusions. When these pictures are described in the class, students can have a new dimension of art and be inspired to painting. In the language class this Art Gallery can be a nice presentation in the classroom where teachers must play the creative role for engaging all the students for their group discussion in participation method. It must broaden the imaginative power among the students. 

Gems Gallery: Gems Gallery in Pattaya is a world famous gallery. Visitors from all over the world come here and buy the ornaments from here. The gallery provides the visitors with a certificate of quality for all products and gives a lifetime guarantee. This can be set as for an example in grade eight lessons about divers who would like to collect valuable jewels and minerals from the ocean in the past.

Pattaya Sea Beach and Koh Larn Island: Pattaya Sea Beach is the most popular beach with its beautiful sights, beach-front accommodations, entertainment, complexes and restaurants. It is a nice spot for swimming and sunbathing. Koh Larn is a small Thai Island off the coast of Pattaya, in the gulf of Thailand. It’s known for its beaches, set against a backdrop of wooded hills. The beach is famed for its clear blue water and sunset views. This can be a nice comparison between the Cox’s Bazar Sea Beach and the Pattaya Sea Beach. Koh Larn Island can be compared to the St. Martin Island in our country. The students can compare the Islands as their class test and it works as continuous assessment that develops their writing skills to prepare for the summative assessment.

Nong Nooch Tropical Botanical Garden: Only 18 km from Pattaya, it’s a paradise on earth with amazing variety of plants in photographic garden settings. We enjoyed daily cultural and elephant shows and delicious Thai foods here. This is an excellent experience life to develop our inner beauty.

The Orchid and the Baiyoke Sky Hotel:  These two sights are also very important for its beauty and new experience looking around from above 100 more storied building. What a nice experience we got to have our launch there. We came to know the eating habits there.

People in Thailand always in every shop use their computer to pay the bill for the customers. As Bangladesh is developing and our government is trying heart and soul for this development and digitalization, within very short time we will see the same use of the computers in the shops. So the use of ICT is also needed in our classroom for our generation.  

So undoubtedly it can be said very clearly that through the training in  foreign land one can enrich himself/herself by achieving the target goal and at the same time can build up his/her profession career. In this way if the training is continued in some more developed countries then we, the teachers of language would be enlightened for teaching our generations successfully and the dream of our great leader, Bangabandhu would come true.

how much money
 
a few women in the last
couple of days have told
me i don't look my age
 
i laugh, tell them thanks
and then ask how much
money are they looking
for
 
i certainly love how
honesty throws them
off and when i'm not
interested in seeing
them naked for just
a few dollars
 
they quietly go away
 
apparently, this sucker
has grown up
-------------------------------------------------------------------
lose yourself
 
the receptionist reminds
me of this girl i used to
flirt with back in high
school
 
amazing smile, dark
eyes, smooth brown
skin with an ass you
could lose yourself
in for hours
 
in high school, it only
got to the stage of
kissing
 
i see the rock on the
receptionist and know,
this won't even get
that far
--------------------------------------------------------------------
some kind of music
 
i don't trust a waiting
room that isn't playing
some kind of music
 
it's obvious,
this office wants the
patients to have nothing
but impending doom
on their minds
--------------------------------------------------------------
and the moment i decide
 
i wonder when
the relief of
death will
knock on
my door
 
i'm patiently
waiting as
best as i can
 
i figure, my life
will change, i'll
be active in the
world and the
moment i decide
life is a beautiful
thing
 
i'll hear a knock
and realize i never
was smarter than
when i was eight
years old
-------------------------------------------------------------
your profile photo
 
these younger
women these
days make me
laugh
 
like i'm supposed
to believe you really
are the adult film star
in your profile photo
 
and when i catch
them in the lie it
gets even better
 
and sure, they all
think i'm handsome
and all have been
abused one way
or another
 
it never dawns on
them the amount
of abuse i have
survived
 
you can't bullshit
a survivor

J.J. Campbell (1976 – ?) is trapped in suburbia, plotting his escape. He’s been widely published over the years, most recently at Misfit Magazine, just good poems, The Beatnik Cowboy, Horror Sleaze Trash and The Black Shamrock. You can find him most days on his mildly entertaining blog, evil delights. (https://evildelights.blogspot.com)

Extra Points For Sarcasm

10:30 a.m.
I'm on my
way home after
a wild,
stoned night.

Feeling tired,
but having no
hangover feels
like a blessing.

Especially when
dealing with
dead head bus
drivers.

I don't know why,
but they never give
you a straight
answer about
their route.

I think that at
the interviews
they must employ
the nastiest people
they can possibly find.

The more of a twat
they are, the more
they want to employ
them.

Sarcasm causes
them to get extra
points  too.

Or that's how
I imagine  it to
be.