Goddamn jack in the box
face popping up with that clown smile
I pressed you down so long.
smile again like you did when I told you stories,
little boys who fought
monsters not mothers. I pushed you out
now I push you down.
Pouts of lips and the swings in my hits
That’s mamma, the one with the boy toys,
the one who plays with knives,
who left cuts on your hands like kisses.
The last man took me away
to the cabin with the bed and only the bed.
There wasn’t room for three, boy.
We downsized, started with the baby.
Don’t say I failed again,
I taught you what I knew.
I shot you down
with milk can guns, white whirled.
I shelled you with beans,
dragging you along til you lost me.