Poetry from J.J. Campbell

and before the final thought was done

J.J. Campbell

to the sweet lips
i know i will never
get the chance to
taste again
to the lonely nights
on the phone until
three in the morning
to the hushed moans
and muffled screams
of just the right words
and just the right
amount of kink
to those dark eyes
to the hips of the
on a bended knee
i offer you the
please kill either
me or my shadow
i will consider it
an act of mercy
the final act of a
saint that has put
up with this shit
for oh so many
years now
allow me to
close my…
with a happy ending
i do my best to swallow
my jealousy
knowing the woman i
love is on the other side
of the country
hanging out with another
man that paid for everything
for her to come out there
i’m not sure how much
longer i can play it cool
play like it doesn’t matter
that she’ll see how much
i love her and that will
win her over
like life is some fucking
romantic comedy with
a happy ending
maybe the lesson is
the poor are only
allowed to love
other poor people
you’re simply not
allowed to jump up
the line without paying
a cost
soul, life, whatever
love up here isn’t free
your beauty deserves so much more
i could probably think of
a thousand different ways
to say i’m sorry
maybe a million if i wanted
to drag my body through
hot coals and accept the
your beauty deserves
so much more
i have told you so many times
you are the love of my life
maybe i should say i’m sorry
for taking so fucking long
to realize it
sorry for being an asshole
that isn’t confident enough
to believe in himself and
take a fucking chance
sorry for the actions
not coming close to
the eloquent words
i’m just an awkward poet
that fumbles his thoughts
and words and god knows
what else when he’s in front
of a breathtaking woman
that actually acknowledges
he exists
i can apologize to the end
of time and i probably should
i just hope a day comes where
you accept it and decide i am
worthy of your love
just five minutes of your time
where have all the years gone
from a chat room to late night
phone calls
to hushed moans on busy highways
to the lonely dreams of creative juices
being swapped across the country
i’m at the point now where i’d kill
for just a taste
just five minutes of your time
just the casual crossing in your mind
there are some days where your hello
takes away all the clouds
and i know you don’t see it or want
it to ever get past where we are now
that’s where the pain comes in
knowing just how deep my love
for you has poisoned my body
and knowing we’ll probably never
meet, never hold each other and
fall asleep in the rain
it’s heartbreaking
it takes all i have to continue
this life while holding that
as your beautiful face rests in
someone else’s dream
the size of a small island
i had a dream about you
last night
i showed up in your city,
you ignored me
a day later, you saw
me eating in a restaurant
i had lost weight and
most of the facial hair
but i was older, walking
with a cane and dying
you walked up to my table
looking fine as hell
i noticed a rock on your
finger the size of a small
you showed me the ring
and said you waited too
fucking long
you walked away slowly
so your ass would bounce
and i would miss it even
i woke up defeated
knowing my inner child
had finally turned its back
on me
i called you up so we could
share a laugh, but you never
picked up the phone
J.J. Campbell (1976 – ?) is old enough to know better. He’s been widely published over the years, most recently in The Dope Fiend Daily, Horror Sleaze Trash, Dodging The Rain, Fourth & Sycamore and Under the Bleachers. His most recent chapbook, the taste of blood on christmas morning, was published by Analog Submission Press. You can find him most days on his mildly entertaining blog, evil delights. (http://evildelights.blogspot.com)

1 thought on “Poetry from J.J. Campbell

  1. I AM not critiquing or even reading yr poetry(& it is VERY SLOPPY “Poetry” at THAT! “POOR ME” syndrome ALWAYS!-Gets Old & Boring & repetitious & “Has-Been”… UR a very rude “man'(Hmph! Like Ull EVER be THAT! UR SO SOOO Immature & its me me me…) Asked U if u got my comments on yr poetry, after faithfully reading 7 commenting s much as i could, & U NEVER ANSWERED ME! UR SO SOO FULL FULL FULL of yrelf & yr “newfound” “Fame”(as U would believe it to be!.. UR just Rude & V V ObnoXious to me now… I liked U AT First & yr Poetry but NOWWW yr just another wasted, washed-out, faded-jaded DEAD-ASS “Artist” – So U DELUDE!… i dont know what I did to U to be treated o badly & Im really REALLY HURT! (U know how HURT Feels, Mr Down-&-Out social Failure & reject?!.. Sob\Sob Time AGAIN!…

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