NEW FACES
I had an idea
for making love to the same woman
less boring
I would put a screen over their face
and you could pick anybody you wanted
I wouldn’t pick a supermodel though
I would go for the lowest dirtiest slut
I could think off
loads of makeup
smelly
the lower the better
I have never found a woman
low enough yet
but there is still time
MRS WOO
We went to the fish and chip shop
me
and her
I ordered two fish and chips
Mrs Woo
asked if we wanted salt and vinegar
I said vinegar for me
and she said
only salt for her
I told Mrs Woo
we could not be more different
She just looked at me
confused
the way a lot of people do
THE LAUGHING MAN
I see a man
bent slightly forward
hands in face
as if he is putting on a mask
He sobs
the only way
a man who wears boots and cream shorts can
screams with misery
then he takes his hands from his face
he starts to laugh
and his face changes
then he looks at me
and laughs even louder
THE LODGER
I lost it yesterday
that demon
that is inside me
came out
it is like the cobra in the pot
all it needs is a flute playing
to bring it out
then when it does
it is like a nuclear explosion
I haven’t seen him for a while
thought that
he may have moved house
and moved in with someone else
but oh no
he is still there.
THE MAGICIAN
I get a strong desire
to ask a woman
any woman
if she will have my children
if she got upset
I could say they are outside
only joking
but what about if it worked
I could say that I don’t have long
and would like to leave something behind
Why not it worked for Crowley