Marriage; The Way Out?

“I’ll never forgive my mother for leaving us alone at the hands of father. Because of a little misunderstanding with him, she left us when we needed her presence the most. Father is married to Agnes who hasn’t been fair to me ever since she came into our house. My step-brother, John Jnr., who is just 6 years of age, is being given the best of preferential treatments because he is Agnes’ only child. Yet, my younger ones can barely find three times daily. Ashley and Emma are not looking healthy because of my step-mom’s ill-treatment.

Wherever, you are, mother, you will know no peace. I won’t forgive you for the rest of my life; even in death. I am 12 now. In the next ten years, whether father or step-mother, likes it or not, I’m getting married to a man who is ten years older than me and must agree to what say. I have spoken”.  Words read from Stacy’s diary.

Stacy was born into a family of a well –to-do background in Oakland. Being the first in a family of four. Later, her younger sister died some years back after she was born. Special treatments were given to her especially by her father-being the first child and only surviving girl of the family-material and physical attention. Stacy came into the world through the consent of Sir John Newbury and Lady Flora Rice. She had two younger brothers, Ashley and Emma and her step-brother, John.

  Things seemed rosy until her parents started living a cat and dog lifestyle due to impending challenges the family faced at that time. Subsequently, Lady Flora, as she was fondly called, decided on what she saw as being normal –leaving her husband to take custody of the children. Although Sir John played a dual responsibility; generally seeing to the finances of his household and physical and mental wellbeing of his children, he was faced with an uphill task of balancing home affairs and his busy working schedule. 

As a result, he felt the need of having mistress who later became his second wife- Agnes-a.k.a The Commoner. She bore him only a child, John Jnr., but was busy maltreating Stacy and her younger siblings. Personally, you could imagine a girl not growing under the “watchful eyes “of her mother. 

   Stacy had to endure the storms of life and painstaking to cater for the needs of her younger ones. Her predicament was so unbearable that she decided to take on menial jobs to make ends meet. As Stacy grew up under inauspicious conditions to an adult, though very beautiful and one most sought after ladies in her locality, she, without the proper guidance of a good counsellor and her mother, felt that marriage would be the way out of her pathetic state. 

Fortunately for her, she agreed to a marriage proposal made by a dashing you gentleman, Anthony, ten years older, on the condition that he must take care of her younger ones. What a naivety- influenced decision! 

“Before I get married to you, Anthony, you must satisfy two conditions… you must agree that you won’t marry another wife and ensure that my brothers Ashley and Emma are taken care of under your roof until they are mature to live on their own.” 

“Yes, I will. In fact, consider it all done!”Anthony couldn’t wait to have her as a wife. 

Stacy went to her father and told him whom she had met and her subsequent intent to marry him.  Sir John asked that Stacy send for Anthony who was leaving nine houses away from his.
Three hours after her father met with Anthony, he, in the presence of Ashley and his elder brother, Emma, related his observation to Stacy: “My dearest daughter, I know that you really want to get married on time because of how you grew up without your mother. However, based on what I observed in the course of our conversation, I will strongly advise that you don’t marry him-he has no future for himself, his children and even you. Look at me, your father; no academic qualification, a labelled stark illiterate and a menial job worker. Yet, I have in possession houses and other investments in Brisbane, Adelaide and Sydney. Don’t mind what your mom did. If she was here, she would have said the same thing”.

“No father, replied angry Stacy, ‘my mind is made up…I must marry Anthony, whether you like it or not. He’s my choice. That’s whom I’ll marry, period!”

“Father is right. He really has no future for you. Look at his habits…he smokes, drinks and womanizes. Yet, you’ve made up your mind to marry him”, said Emma who was present when his father made his observations known to Stacy. 

“As for me, Stacy had made up her mind in spending the rest of her life with. Let’s her go ahead and on our part, wish her the best. I’m pretty tired of being ill-treated by your so-called wife.  I can’t wait to move in with my big sister!” said Ashley, who had been in support of Stacy marrying Anthony to his Dad.

“In time, you, father and Emma will understand the very reason I chose to marry Anthony. Though he smokes, drinks and womanizes, I believe he has a future ahead of him. Come to think of it, are you all perfect? I know, with God, he will change for the better! It’s quite unfortunate that Ashley, the baby of the house, understands me better than all of you. It happens, sometimes!”Responded Stacy to her father, Emma and Ashley. 

She eventually got married to him without proper mastery of what it means to stay married and of what the true foundation of marriage is. Now, she is married for nearly thirty years but living under the shadow of regrets.