i can’t get up right now

i think about you all the time

the silence is loud all around

noon never felt so miserable

strapped down to a bed, unable to speak

watching you rest as i take a seat

fragile, still, afraid, weak

that’s not who you were

all those times i sat down

not a word whispered or muttered from either of us

it killed you internally

there’s a spot for you in the living room

where you laid

where i witnessed your disease

where i look at our texts when i miss you the most

i’m afraid im forgetting you

i don’t want to forget you

your being taken away from me again

one day you’re there

then the next you’re not.

An Attempt To Have A Conversation With Your 15 Year Old Daughter

Hey Love

hi mom

Are you okay?

i can’t help but beg for there to have been another way

What have you been doing all day?

stuck sitting in silence without a mother to show to the world

You’re going to get bored here the whole day

not something i can control now that he’s in charge

Do not miss out on a nice day just for something that is not worth it

a lack of motivation my father contributes to

Is your dad bothering you?

when doesn’t he? screaming i’m selfish, a burden, useless

Let me know if he leaves. I don’t want him bothering you

he never leaves now that you’re gone

I can’t get up right now

you were never able to get up on your own again

Can you come over?

we’re worlds apart

Feeling better?

the lump in my heart is easier to maintain

You want anything else?

to talk to you in person, not through your old texts

You know i’m always here for you

you dont understand how much i want that to be the case

Love you

i love you too.