Evergreen

Daphne and Stu stood at the picture window overlooking the front yard of their mother’s home, talking quietly. 

“I don’t know,” said Daphne, “something’s not right with Mom.” 

Together they peered out the window at Mildred, who was busily watering her vast garden. “How do you mean?” asked Stu. 

“She talks to her plants,” whispered Daphne. When Stu gazed at her skeptically, she said, “Really. She even has names for them.” 

Stu laughed unconvincingly. But when his sister didn’t share the humor, he grew concerned. “Well, Mom’s always been a little edgy, Sis.” 

“No,” she disagreed. “That doesn’t even begin to describe it, Stu.” 

“What would describe it, then?” he asked. 

“Try bat-shit crazy,” suggested Daphne. 

Out into the garden they walked, stopping behind Mildred at a safe distance, observing. 

“Ooh,” said Mildred, upending a watering can over a peony. “There, that’s good, take a long drink.” Mildred tittered. 

Daphne and Stu exchanged a glance, looked back at their mother, who moved onto an azalea bush. “You take a drink too, Bob.” 

Stu nudged his sister, whispered the word, “Bob?” 

Daphne made a twirling motion with a forefinger next to her head. 

“Mom,” said Stu quietly, “come on into lunch.” 

Mildred shook her head. “Nope. I’ve got to feed my babies.” 

“Babies?” he asked. 

“Of course,” replied Mildred, taking up a huge bottle of liquid fertilizer. Dipping an eye dropper into the bottle, she began dispensing plant food, drop by drop, onto individual blades of grass. 

“Mom, lunch is ready. How long do you expect this to take?” asked Stu worriedly? 

“Well, the last time I counted,” said Mildred, “there were more than 400,000 blades of grass.” She began humming a merry tune. 

“Mom,” said Daphne, stepping across the lawn and reaching for her mother. 

“You’re crushing them!” shrilled Mildred in horror. “Get off, get off!” 

Daphne leaped back onto the pavement. 

“Ooh,” wailed Mildred. “You hurt Aaron!” 

“Who’s Aaron?” asked Stu? 

“The dandelion,” replied Mildred, cosseting the bent weed in her age-spotted hands. 

Stu made a pained face at Daphne, who rolled her eyes. “I told you so,” she mouthed silently.  

The next day Stu called Mildred’s doctor with what they observed.  Dr. Zeel thought they were overly alarmed, but agreed to have Mildred in the next week.  

Dr. Zeel told Mildred at their appointment why her children were concerned. Mildred laughed and told the doctor “Oh, that’s just a game I play to keep myself amused. I know the plants don’t listen to me. I’ll try to be more discreet around the kids.” The doctor did some tests and told Mildred everything looked good and not to worry. 

 After she got home Mildred called her children and scolded them. “You shouldn’t have gotten my doctor involved,” she said. My plants won’t like you after I tell them what you did.”  

Daphne and Stu were more concerned than ever about Mildred, but couldn’t think of what to do next. Mildred wouldn’t speak to them.  

In the following weeks Mildred’s children had to rethink Mildred’s relationship with her garden. A three hundred foot redwood which didn’t grow within seven hundred miles sprang up overnight in Stu’s backyard. Dandelions broke through Daphne’s sidewalk and driveway, fracturing the concrete. Other mysterious botanical phenomena occurred throughout the world. 

 Even Mildred did not know that her plants talked to other plants.  Fruit trees refused to grow fruit, wheat and other plants that normally provided the staff of life did not cooperate as well.  While sympathetic with the plants, Mildred recognized that she had to prevent a global catastrophe. She convinced her children to apologize to her plants so they could pass along the forgiveness to humans.  

Stu and Daphne felt really stupid, but based on the gravity of the situation, they knew they had to do it. With Mildred helping to prepare their remarks, her children addressed the plants in the garden.  

“Plants in Mildred’s garden, we were foolish,” muttered Stu. 

“We didn’t consider your feelings. We were wrong in thinking that you didn’t really understand what Mildred was saying,” added Daphne. 

Stu added: “We know plants have rights too.” 

In tandem they murmured, “We beg your forgiveness and hope that you can convince the other plants that humans depend on to provide food for them again.” 

 Mildred has listened in.  When Daphne and Stu were done, Mildred bent to the ground, then rose up and told them how her plants answered. “They will do what you want under one condition.” 

 Stu and Daphne answered in unison “Whatever they want. We’re good for it.”  

Mildred assured them, “Oh, it’s easy and I’ll do it. All they ask for is a double ration of the fertilizer treat I give them.” 

 Stu asked “It’s that easy? Can you start now?” 

 “I’m on it in the next five minutes. It’s a good thing I stocked up on their treat.” 

 Good to their “word” Mildred’s plants passed on the kids’ apology and worldwide, the plants returned to their normal behavior. 

 Four prosperous years passed before food crops went on strike again, protesting overcrowding, abrasive weed killers and that pesky hedge trimmer thing.