murmuration

the delicate thrum, heartbeat through my bound chest,
my palm pressed there like a promise,
every breath stolen from me like a murmuration of living feeling seeing i’m living
in the stars like a superhero. only now.

only now does the murmuration of my heartbeat slow, the murmuration of birds slow their pace. i’ve
been taught to exist without realizing.. the gentle murmurs
of your heart have become a gift.

i didn’t realize i missed you until i stood
under the sky with the world opened up to me and i murmuredation, please come home. we are both home.

if we are both home then why do i feel lost?
when my mom told me it wasn’t a panic attack

all i wanted was you. your delicate murmuration thrumming through my bones. your comfort.
when i picture you i feel safe.
i watch birds and i feel like i’m floating away. i could
take off in search of them but i think you’d notice.

i hope so. i notice every murmuration, we are a murmuration, aren’t we? a flock of birds,
we rise, we fall, i missed you you you
it’s hard to realize i missed you until i see you

and you say you missed me and i say it back and i feel right again,
not just a stolen wish floating away to a star-ling.