Poetry from Alan Catlin

The Last Wave

“Nightmares for the dead are dreams of life.

Not remembering dreaming is dreaming of being dead.”

From Queen of Swords

For Mike

I’m on a ferry with a wife

and two small boys but I’m not sure

where we are going or why. There is an

island out there somewhere and not much else.

The ocean is flat and calm, unnaturally calm

like before an epic storm and the sky is

gradually fading from deep blue to a kind of

greenish color with back edges.

All of us are enjoying an offshore breeze

though we know none of this will last much longer.

When the wind stops, the steam freighter

I am on founders on an unseen rocks between

sandbars. Five Franciscan nuns are kneeling

on the aft deck praying in German as high seas

breech the listing ship.  I can see the name

of the boat on last remaining life preservers

painted in black letterings: Amerika as I float

out to sea.

Luckily, the wife and children are no longer

on deck. I can see them waving from another

ferry as emergency flares from several ships

brighten the storm dark skies. I can see the last

of the passengers from Amerika swept overboard

as I float. I feel like a character in Death in Venice

but I don’t know which one.

I’m listening to Mahler 5 in the launch heading

out from shore. At first, the boat handles the waves

remaining upright and moving steadily forward.

My new female friend and I know that soon

the waves will become unmanageable and 

the inevitable will follow in the form of that

mythical Last Wave we’ve read about.

The actual drowning happens elsewhere though

I sense the tragic aftermath of the capsizing boats

and all hands and passengers lost in the storm.

The loss I feel most is the death of a child,

the youngest boy, whose loss suggests he might

have been one of my own. My grief is immeasurable

so acute I feel the pain even when I wake up. 

I know, then, the death of a child in the dream

was the unexpected death of my best friend 

in real life.

Street of Crocodiles Dream Poem

After the banquet, guest appear to be dreaming,

bewitched by before-the-meal cocktails, 

four courses with wine, and house special

coffees laced with sweet liqueurs, then 

sleep inducing testimonials, including

fawning speeches celebrating the lord and 

master of the house.

Guests are jarred awake by sudden noises, 

tables knocking, levitating dessert plates,

spirit voices and apparitions like Banquo’s

ghost revisiting. Familiars appear at the side 

of the reigning king pro tem, formerly a fearless 

warrior now one who has lost his nerve, 

made pale by improbable prophecies coming true 

in the form of a processional of heir apparents, 

that scroll by on the ceiling of the formerly festive

well-heated dining room now as cold as 

Hamlet’s father’s tomb.

Outside, on the cobblestones, the inmates

of a sanatorium under the sign of an hourglass

have been released from their cells dressed

for a pasquinade in mufti and bells like

court jesters in a Poe story that doesn’t end

well for the powers that be.

Under night wood carnival barkers are

searching for their side shows, the displaced

animal acts, only finding freak shows and 

reptile rooms while the streets are filled with 

crocodiles where once a peasant revolt had been.

The soldiers that shoot them are of 

the fascist persuasion. Streets are a blood

factory now and no one cares that the king

is dead.

Burning Amy

No death from above

napalm run, no car

crash turned fireball,

no girl in the picture

carrying burning jelly

on her back,

but a working girl

in an argument

gone terribly wrong,

soaked with lighter

fluid and set on

fire,

“My husband is not a

monster,” his wife would

say.

But what kind of man

is he?  Burning Amy

on Albany Street;

something from a nightmare 

that leads to Westchester Burn 

Unit, relived nightly,

something that could never

be forgotten, maybe not a

monster, maybe something worse.

Ralph Steadman’s Milosevic

His neck is elongated to giraffe length,

stretched like his illustrations of Alice’s 

red queen, extra flesh for the ruler’s head

to avoid all the offal, decapitations he

has demanded, though, here, in Yugoslavia, 

the bodies are all buried in unmarked graves 

to be excavated as killing fields, forensic 

evidence of a reign of terror even the dictator 

cannot bring himself to consider, soiled as 

he is dressed in pinstriped suit now a butcher’s

apron covered in human gore and blood,

a vital organ in the lapel where a decorative

flower should be.

Ralph Steadman’s Pepys

“It was a sad noise

to hear our bell….

inscribed in the artist’s

calligraphic hand as Pepys,

the bold Colossus astride

the Thames, writing in his

diary, seeing through taxidermic

eyes; the tolling of the bells 

a call to worship or the warning

of tumbrel drivers about to 

pass, calling out for the dead

and dying those Black Plague

years their work was never done,

London dusk a suttee fog, corpses

afire, the Bridge, slums, as well.

Ralph Steadman’s John Clare

“May you be a half hour in heaven

before the Devil knows you’re dead.”

Irish Proverb

confined for life within a

stump of some stunted tree

in a Beckett play scene at

end time, only the poet’s head

visible where the tree’s trunk

should be on a mound of sordid

earth and knotted roots, the sky

deathly white, his skin paler

still.

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