TEAM ZOLOFT

“So, why are we watching this?” asked Alicia, filing her nails from her seat on the couch.

Zane, sitting next to her, pointed at the TV. “It’s World Cup soccer. Algeria versus Austria.”

Alicia looked at her man and frowned. “Soccer? You never watch that shit. Pass the remote; I think When Calls the Heart is on.”

Zane held on to the remote. “Hell, no! I’ve got a hundred bucks riding on Algeria. Besides, that snoozefest is in reruns now, anyway.”

“Algeria?” Alicia said, quizzically. “You couldn’t find Algeria with a Rand McNally Road Atlas and twelve bloodhounds. Why are you wasting our money like that?”

Zane took a breath. “Babe, I’m not wasting my money—”

Alicia brandished her nail file like a shiv. “Our money! You know my niece Ruby’s wedding is next month. And I am not dipping into my savings, again, to pay the Edison bill.”

Zane aimed the remote at the TV and pressed a button, raising the volume on the soccer match. “Don’t worry, I have an inside source. Austria’s got no game. The Algerian team’s a shoo-in to win, easily.”

Alicia used the point of the nail file to remove dirt from under her thumbnail. “They’d better win. Or you’d better go back to Algeria with them.”

The two sat silently, there in the front room, for a couple of minutes. Zane decided a change of subject was in order. 

“Babe,” he said, casually, “I forgot to mention it. . .I met this new guy at work today.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. One of the apprentices. He’s no more than twenty-two years old.”

Alicia kept filing her nails. “Uh-huh.”

“Yeah. Believe it or not, his name is Prince.”

“Prince?”

“Right. And as soon as I met the kid, this wisecrack popped into my head. I wanted to tell him that Purple Rain is my favorite album. I swear, the words were perched on the tip of my tongue.”

“Uh-huh.”

“But I didn’t. I kept it to myself. I just smiled and shook his hand.”

Alicia, inspecting her fingernails, said nothing. 

Zane reached over and gently touched her arm. “That’s good, right? Aren’t you glad that my meds are working?”

Alicia used the edge of the nail file to push down her cuticles. “Yay, Team Zoloft,” she said. “Now, tell me—where did that hundred bucks come from?”