Rose Wine

finally cracked the bottle of wine

that had her name on it.

had had it in the fridge for a few months

we had agreed we’d drink it together

when we’d talk about the past, present, and future.

I finally cracked it, it’s going to die within the hour

just like my memories of her.

after such a long time of looking at the damn

bottle taking space in the refrigerator, it feels

good drinking the rose wine I once

thought would cement a friendship, and

raising a toast to another ending that came too late

Untitled

when she came back after two months of silence

we both promised we’d make it last.

it wasn’t meant to be a one night stand,

it was meant to be something substantial.

for a while, we did our best to keep our promises.

we failed.

we wasted more months chasing the dragon of doomed love.

in the end, our affair ended on bad terms

it was the only way to ensure a definite finale.

otherwise, we’d keep coming back for each other

chasing the dragon like hopeless junkies.

Drunk Love Letter

was it love at first sight?

perhaps.

I saw you in that cold university classroom.

you started talking to me.

before I knew it,

we were texting all the damn time.

took me more than a week to learn you were engaged.

never saw the ring; you never brought it up until

you deemed it necessary.

that simple meeting in a university classroom

led to a nine-month life-sucking affair.

sadly, ten years later,

I miss you.

because I’ll never find someone else that’ll

come so close to replacing true love

even if you were so different than Emily.

if I saw you again, I’d beg for another chance.

I wouldn’t quit drinking, but I’d try to control it.

I’m clean of the drugs you never learned about.

you never knew I was high half of the times we met.

I’m sorry.

if I could, I’d plead my case, ask you back.

sadly, you were more honest than most women I’ve

met since you were gone.

that says a lot about the women I’m meeting.

I miss your dark eyes staring into mine.

I miss the nights we slept together.

I miss everything, even the bad times were

better than what can be called good times nowadays.

I’m sorry. I’m drunk.

I don’t care to contact you.

yet, I write for you. to you.

you broke my already broken heart but, at least,

you were worth the pain.

if I could, I’d go back in time and redo our affair again.

even with the same result. just to sleep with you one more time.

ten years later, I haven’t met anyone that could come close to

you. your dark eyes glisten in my dreams

alongside the green eyes of someone else that came before you

and I’m dead within.

I tried love, and I failed.

now, I’m stuck with ghosts while

chasing phantom dragons I’ll never catch.

Nights of Four Roses

there’s always another drink to be had

the night cannot die until I pass out

more Four Roses goes into the waterglass

even if it’s early in the morning

even if I have to wake up in a couple of hours

the memories come to life after the fifth glass

buried emotions are resurrected after the seventh glass

nothing will put them back into their grave

I can taste Emily’s kisses

I can hear Bircan’s beautiful lies

I can feel Gina’s warm touches

nothing will bring them back

no amount of booze will take me back in time

stuck in a crepuscular present devoid of love

I have another drink and it’s all right

I have friends living several time zones away

no real friends around me

lonely nights of Four Roses and I feel right at home

no one to talk to

and it feels magnificent because I can hear

the whispering ghosts calling me over

perhaps Emily’s waiting on the other side

I refill my waterglass with Four Roses,

a second bottle’s about to surrender its life

and death has never felt so distant