THE FIGHTER OF FRIENDLINESS:
It wins the cause and abound with love and kindness I touched your lips.
It confesses to slavery, as for the letter of love, wrapped in blossoming.
It touches only the sincere souls,
The heart is the constitution of faith,
And the soul and its things are divine.
A love note written on your chest.
I love your breath I love how it falls out and touched tenderness
A Flavour Called Deliverance
In the dark hovel
of deliverance
wings are waxed then clipped,
what was once easy, mastered,
becomes a myriad of difficult moves
resulting in immobility.
Hurdles are put under a microscope, intricately
seen now as an x-rayed fracture or
a clot under the skin swelling, expanding,
turning purple.
In the last place before death,
a signature is made to replace
all others before, a final
heave-ho effort to maintain what was,
life-force inertia, a stickiness to fusion,
straight-line progress.
But it slows, uses great effort to
keep going until it stops. And in that place
of cessation, in a vacuum space away from time,
metamorphosis is instant, vaporizing
all resistance or structures left to hold.
It is untried, a beginning
that has no obvious end,
consuming without harm or expenditure,
stillness in the astonishment, limitless,
encapsulating.
I’ve been in the dark hovel.
I’ve witnessed its revelation.
Today doubts return as insects
swarming my insides with emergency
signals, sirens, targeting every open channel.
Simple dreams become hopeless and the
weight of life, too much to bear – entering
another dark hovel with no reservoir,
no cooling down.
Hole
Lost amongst
the weakened growth,
yellow-stained dreams
and the sticky spread of time.
So much leading into separation,
so much nearby that aches and
cannot receive or release
the rage of perceived injustice.
The same day the hunters came
at running speed with their violence
and jarring confidence
was the same day I jumped into a hole
to escape, and have since stayed, casting my
shadows in this small space, safe in
the overgrowth.
Lost and lingering in this captured position
with a fickle faith that is not faith
because it is not absolute faith.
Eighty songs sung and slowly forgotten,
a predictable system to view and
try to fit into but there is a piercing in my side
that hurts when I sleep, when I
breathe, thinking of my lack,
my loss and not of the love
that is trying to pull me from
this freezing hole, even when
my gratitude is lacking, gratitude
mouthed but not meant.
Abducted by visible disappointments,
wide as flapping wings that cannot lift off.
A choice must be made. It is possible
to make a choice, to choose
to climb out and face the fear of freedom,
face myself, a small speck on the spectrum,
myself, giving satisfactory effort,
this one act of surrender.
I Am Gone
Free of its domination,
of its rotted breath consuming.
Your heart is a mix of manipulative
generalizations that cannot anchor.
And I am gone.
I ran the lap and then
I ran it again, calling out your fever,
kissing the open fire.
I was trained to form habits being with you
in the lull between
expectation and judgement,
never able to let down my guard
or trust your tongue and motivations.
I give you my fortune, my good will
as I cancel this bond.
I really don’t know you,
I only know the yield between us
is poisonous overgrowth, shadows advancing,
conditional love and painful journeys without profit.
It has been sticky,
weighted with layers of
confusion and misunderstandings.
Occasionally it has been good.
I cannot carry your resentments
and I won’t carry mine.
Sometimes healing never happens
and trying to make it happen only
diminishes dignity.
Free, not an exuberant freedom,
just a dropping of the weight
of what I cannot change and cannot understand.
Freedom as peace from useless effort.
The gifts you gave me remain intact.
The future is open, its pathway
re-wired.
Restoration
In one swift happening
our dreams were born,
driven out of fantasy
and dropped into flesh.
Mercy found us and saved us.
The calloused wound
was cleared of its scar.
Gift after gift was ours.
Like discharged papers after
a long illness, or as though
finally the medicine took,
and healing happened
unfathomable and instant.
No after affects, no side effects.
What was once cut off
became integrated.
What was once confined
became unbound,
became like nestlings
that leapt from their nest
straight
into perfect flight.
Jesus Knows
Jesus kneads the soul
into safety, illuminating
a launching pad and a way
away from the bramble and
haunted darkness of confusion,
falling into survival’s clutches, cuts,
snares and bone breaks, dream breaks,
where hope is a fragment of what
it was before
when we were younger.
Jesus holds our hands, shows the
strength in choosing submission, the value
of releasing one chain and then another –
regeneration, cleansed of bitterness,
regrets and greed
for what is not ours.
Jesus knows the full scope of our inner
civility, the intricate layers of deception
we follow to justify unkind acts, and thoughts that
deplete the joy we are meant to know when we know
Jesus, savior, lover to everyone,
every dying, every just-born
animal and star.
Focus and Lock
The fractures spread
like ignored whispers
until they became cracks,
fissures, then full on separation –
body from body, lost from its
connecting bone.
Violently vapourized elements
of biology that lasted centuries,
that managed before to maneuver
eloquently despite always under
the threat of survival.
I pick a drum beat I remember
inside the wide rhythms of this harrowing
planet, my youth and where all things
get stored then used up, eventually.
Grasping for God beyond daily habit rituals,
found on a path done in replay, where there is
no play, only fear and inadequate resources.
Found and taking a step, a determination to detox
from worry in spite of
its pressing pulse on mine, in spite
of disastrous possibilities as close
as reality, fighting for dominion.
I commit to faith. The temperature
is always shifting, there is no safe place here,
until death,
until the blackboard is erased.
I can preserve. I can serve and I can find
a way away from fear, a way
into a refined dignity,
holding steady, holding up myself like
an offering – burning but with an abundance
of fuel, never melting down
until my journey is over.
One Light
Through an exploration
into the darkest searing pain,
of days crammed into a corner
with spikes on all the walls
and the floor and the ceiling,
rising, dropping, everything
squeezing in.
No sleep, no technology
to help me or modern medicine
to ease the engine
from driving full speed
until impact.
There I stayed for a week
or more, dispossessed of mercy at every turn
until the orbit finally loosened by surprise
and a way out became clear.
While in, my true love sat with me and saved me.
My children stayed with me and kept me wanting a future.
Only in that repeat end-of-rope, end-of-hope agony,
chasing a cure but spiraling deeper into the lava pit,
was it made clear the necessity of love,
how love does not stop the pain
or make the pain bearable,
but cradles you while in the pain
and says you are not alone, says
I hurt with you, you are heard
and you matter, and you are loved –
miles infinite in every direction,
saying be still, I am
and I am here.
Mercy Will Abide
Free-floating
now, just existing as
the accident and the healing
are over, and the revived
civilization has yet to come.
Holding a cane to walk,
an arm to lift up from
sitting to standing, and then at last,
a smile, energy returning,
relief like the joy of a miracle.
Days when you thought you were dying,
past days shed and left in the past.
Grief is a word that multiplied
and layered into a language,
absorbing both your understanding and conviction.
Grief has died as has the white-knuckle-clenching,
the acceptance of suffering
as the deciding factor.
Love is greater, doesn’t prevent or heal but
does overcome, is the only thing remembered
after the fact, in the end,
like a glowing cherished
vibrating orb –
love existing
as the maggots
and lasers swarm, existing
in the plunge into excruciating pain
and the abolishment of hope,
love – human, struggling
to keep loving,
turning reality’s bone crushing grip
into a blessing eternal, and in this way,
absolving.
For This Day
For today
you are my breath and focus.
The chloroplasts that feed off worry
instead of sunlight
inch into pour pockets,
infiltrate my colon and distort
the wavelength I was given to ride
will have no lifeforce today.
A million signals of dread and doomed survival
will not race inside me like a swarm of centipedes
scurrying away from the light, but will rest
in one spot, stay put like a whirlwind covered
in calm, there, but shielded from spread
or damaging.
For today, you will be my biology,
not just for morning prayers or midday talks,
but for all forms that arise from
my tongue and hands.
I will love you. I will trust you
like I always should,
pioneering this peace for today,
knowing you are here
even when insight fails me
and the surging bloodwind
is at my feet, at my throat,
you stand behind, in front and beside.
You are the end result,
the miracle pulsing within,
driving the lead.
For today, I will be yours.
I will travel anywhere unscathed.
Through the Valley
To see you writhe and twist
from fractures and complex
imbalances in the body, depressing
your joy unto death, remembering
each day plagued with renewed anguish
and the winter arriving with thick fog,
middle-of-the-night phone calls
full of tears and panic and there
we gathered – you and me and God and Jesus,
we found a bandwidth to lean into.
I must let it go,
your months of suffering and the tests and fear.
I must draw a different equation that
will teach me a signature of peace.
Where you are planted is where you are now,
in divine deliverance, away from any anguish.
The same anguish I am still living in
and cannot seem to stop re-living
despite God’s grace, despite how I was shown
your release into eternal love, despite
the giant pillars of love surrounding me
every day, since the day you left.
You have no pain,
you are as holy as the universe, in joy
as any infant suckling on its mother
or carried by its father, steady, safe,
enveloped in perfect protection
and a love so vast it radiates throughout every space,
eradicates all disease and fear gone before.
You are whole,
while I remain broken
and keep breaking as I try
to understand –
I loved you, but my love
could not save you from your suffering.
I love you and I know now you are saved,
resurrected into glory.
I must grow my strength stronger than my pity,
know God’s love is stronger
than the senseless vaporous dream
that haunts the dying and the ones left
like me (tossing, flailing, helpless)
after death and because of it.
Where to Go
Into the summer I go
to be loved by you.
For the mercy of you is rich
as fire, as the wind speeds up its
flames, consuming dead debris.
Where forgiveness is the act of mutually
releasing and of being released –
knotting, unblocking, so the line is
straight, and the flow is unclogged
and dreams dreamt in the mind,
connected to the divine
are immediately realized like a kiss
received then reciprocated
where echoes are placed in pockets, locked in
layered dimensional spaces, existing, not
overlapping, not interfering
with the breathable air.
Allison Grayhurst has been nominated for “Best of the Net” six times. She has over 1,400 poems published in over 530 international journals, including translations of her work. She has 25 published books of poetry and 6 chapbooks. She lives in Toronto. She also sculpts, working with clay; www.allisongrayhurst.com
The Stream Of Magnanimity
With me every then, yet now
In every footstep
In the tranquil flow of life
In every dark and night
When I ceased to flow into the streams of equanimity
I feel you deep within
In very little shifts
When courage overpowers the eclipse
And then the sun smiled in you
Not in dark neither in glow
I find you glowing in awareness
Providing comfort to my soil
Beyond erosion-
Spirited beyonce which kept on filling me
In divine mellow
And I embrace life in your love and care
Being a river that keeps nourishing
Blooming into blissful blessing
Truely within in the flow of magnanimity
All bad poetry springs from genuine feelings- Oscar Wilde
The Broken Chord
Feelings are the mirror of
the heart
Where emotions
travel deep
Where a heart thrives
and survives
It cries out of pain
The broken chord of life
oozes its fountain
They appear as they are
over a piece of paper-
Distorted metaphors of love
and its failure
Sometimes they’re
soothing
Sometimes they simply
appear to be an elegy
With intense emotions they
fall short of words
A Literary craft simply
appears as a draft
And the molten glacier keeps
on floating aside
Where numbness astride
INDEPENDENCE — THE FOUNDATION OF OPPORTUNITIES: CONDITIONS CREATED FOR YOUNG PEOPLE AND WOMEN IN UZBEKISTAN
Qosimova Zulhumor Toxirjon qizi
Born on 27 December 1994 in Quva District, Fergana Region. In 2018, I was admitted to the History programme at the Faculty of History of Andijan State University, graduating in 2022. Winner of numerous online competitions. An advocate for women’s participation in sports.
Abstract
This article examines Uzbekistan’s 35-year development since independence and the modern opportunities created for young people and women. It highlights the conditions provided for education, scientific research, the implementation of innovative ideas, entrepreneurship, and professional development among young people. Particular attention is paid to opportunities for women in education, employment, entrepreneurship, and science, as well as to increasing their participation in public life. The article analyses the role of ongoing reforms in expanding opportunities for the younger generation and women and in supporting the realization of their intellectual, creative, and professional potential. It also considers prospective areas for further development of these opportunities.
Keywords: independence, Uzbekistan, 35 years of development, youth, women, education, science, innovation, entrepreneurship, opportunities, social engagement, youth policy.
Introduction
Uzbekistan’s achievement of independence marked the beginning of a new historical stage in the country’s political, economic, social, and spiritual development. The 35th anniversary of independence provides an important opportunity to analyse the path taken, assess the results achieved, and identify new tasks facing society. In particular, studying the opportunities created for the younger generation, which will shape the country’s future, and for women, who make up an active part of society, is an important and timely issue.
In today’s conditions of development, a country’s competitiveness is closely linked to the quality of its human capital. Therefore, policies aimed at developing education, science, modern professions, foreign-language learning, digital technologies, entrepreneurship, and innovation have strategic importance. According to official information for 2026, people aged 14–30 account for approximately 25 per cent of Uzbekistan’s population. The draft “New Uzbekistan Youth – 2030” strategy identifies support for youth employment and entrepreneurship, quality and inclusive education, foreign languages, vocational education, volunteering, and broader youth participation in public life as priority areas.
The meaning of independence is not limited to state sovereignty. It is also reflected in society’s ability to determine its own path of development, protect national interests, safeguard people’s rights and interests, and create suitable conditions for future generations. From this perspective, the attention paid during the years of independence to education and science, youth policy, support for women, and the development of human capital is regarded as one of the important drivers of national progress.
At the current stage, the “Uzbekistan – 2030” Strategy identifies the creation of suitable conditions for every person to realize their potential as a distinct objective. The strategy sets specific indicators for expanding women’s use of information and communication technologies, developing vocational and entrepreneurial skills, and supporting employment. Thus, the 35-year milestone of independence is important not only as a historical anniversary, but also as an opportunity to assess the conditions created for people to gain knowledge, acquire professions, take initiative, and build their futures independently.
Young people occupy a significant place in the country’s demographic, intellectual, and economic potential. The effectiveness of youth policy is therefore reflected in interconnected areas such as education, employment, entrepreneurship, culture, sport, innovation, and social engagement. The draft “New Uzbekistan Youth – 2030” strategy presented in 2026 sets out goals including providing employment for 600,000 young people annually, involving 900,000 young people in volunteering by 2030, and helping 450,000 young people reach B2 proficiency in foreign languages.
Official information published in 2026 on supporting youth initiatives also notes a focus on education, vocational skills, sport, projects, and start-ups. The same source reports that the number of young entrepreneurs has exceeded 287,000, that 3.5 million young people are intensively studying foreign languages, and that some start-ups created by young people have entered foreign markets. These opportunities help young people become active contributors capable of creating new value rather than simply waiting for an existing job. However, opportunities alone are not enough: young people need to continually strengthen their knowledge, professional skills, foreign-language proficiency, digital literacy, and project-management abilities in order to benefit from them effectively.
Education is one of the most important mechanisms for building human capital. In a modern economy, practical skills, digital literacy, knowledge of foreign languages, independent thinking, and the ability to solve problems are as important as a diploma. For this reason, the education system is paying increasing attention to developing competencies alongside knowledge.
Educational opportunities for young people extend beyond higher education. Vocational education, learning centres, language courses, internships, international projects, and various competitions enable young people to choose development pathways that match their individual interests. The draft “New Uzbekistan Youth – 2030” strategy includes tasks aimed at developing learning centres in remote areas, encouraging foreign-language learning, and expanding vocational education. Expanding access to education is also important for social equality. Measures are being implemented to widen access to higher education by supporting disadvantaged groups and introducing additional grants and recommendation mechanisms. Official information for 2026 also refers to an additional state-grant admission mechanism for women from families in need.
Science is a long-term driver of social development, and involving young people in research increases the country’s intellectual potential. Writing academic articles, participating in conferences, preparing research projects, conducting experiments, and carrying out studies help students become familiar with academic environments. Innovation, in turn, makes it possible to turn scientific knowledge into practical outcomes. Start-ups, technological projects, digital products, and social innovations help transform young people’s ideas into economic or social value.
Official information from 2026 also refers to supporting young people’s start-up projects and helping them enter international markets. Developing research clubs, start-up clubs, innovation laboratories, and project schools at higher education institutions can connect students’ theoretical knowledge with practical work. Such environments help students not only master their subjects but also identify problems, develop ideas, form teams, prepare project plans, and present results.
Women’s access to education and professional development directly affects society’s human capital. In recent years, mechanisms supporting grants, recommendations, postgraduate study, and research have expanded. According to official information for 2026, the grant quota for women from disadvantaged families who do not have higher education was increased from 2,000 to 4,000 places. The contract-based quota for women with five years of work experience but no higher education was increased from 500 to 2,500 places. These mechanisms widen access to education and create a stronger foundation for women’s future careers.
Information for 2026 states that women account for 42 per cent of research activity, and that 1,612 projects were reviewed in the “Women Scientists” competition, of which 156 received funding. These figures indicate growing participation by women in research. For female students interested in research, writing articles, attending conferences, preparing grant proposals, and working with academic supervisors can provide valuable experience for future academic careers.
In today’s economic environment, supporting women’s entrepreneurship and innovation is seen not only as a way to increase individual income, but also as a means of improving family well-being and strengthening local economic activity. Mechanisms are therefore being developed to provide women with vocational training, entrepreneurial skills, financial literacy, and funding opportunities for innovative ideas. Information published in 2026 states that start-up competitions are to be organised in at least 10 areas to support women’s innovative ideas, with grants of up to 500 million soums for the winner in each area.
In addition, the “Uzbekistan – 2030” Strategy sets indicators for encouraging women to use information and communication technologies, training them in vocational and entrepreneurial skills, and pairing women in need with experienced women entrepreneurs. In this context, female students’ participation in start-up clubs, business-incubation programmes, and innovation competitions can enrich their theoretical knowledge with practical experience. From identifying a problem and studying the market to developing a business model, creating a marketing strategy, and presenting a project, these processes help build entrepreneurial competencies.
Access to decent employment is an important stage in young people’s transition to independent life. Alongside traditional professions, today’s labour market requires new competencies in programming, data analysis, artificial intelligence, digital marketing, design, media, cybersecurity, project management, and other fields. The draft “New Uzbekistan Youth – 2030” strategy identifies youth employment, the expansion of vocational education, and labour-market support as priorities. It also sets a goal of providing employment for 600,000 young people each year.
Cooperation between educational institutions and employers is also important for turning opportunities into practical outcomes. Internships, work placements, mentoring, professional workshops, and participation in real projects help students understand labour-market requirements in advance.
Women’s access to education should be assessed not only by whether they can enrol, but also by whether they can continue studying under different life circumstances. Balancing family responsibilities, raising children, and studying may create additional organisational needs for some students. Developing flexible education mechanisms is therefore socially important. Government information for 2026 refers to additional mechanisms to help pregnant students and students raising children under the age of three continue their education, including academic leave and distance-learning options in certain circumstances.
Such mechanisms can help reconcile education with family life. Continuing their education enables young mothers to plan their future careers, return to the labour market, and strengthen their families’ economic stability. Academic, psychological, and professional support should therefore work together within the education system.
Youth development cannot be measured by academic results alone. Teamwork, initiative, taking responsibility, problem-solving, public speaking, and managing social projects are also important skills for modern professionals. Student organisations, volunteering projects, intellectual clubs, sports, and cultural events provide valuable settings for personal development. Official information on youth policy in 2026 identifies the expansion of volunteering, strengthening young people’s role in participation mechanisms, and maintaining regular dialogue with young people as important tasks.
Educational platforms for women are also part of this process. The official Youth Platform website presents the “Girls’ Academy” as an educational platform designed to strengthen women’s personal, professional, and intellectual potential. To make effective use of leadership opportunities, young people need to organise their activities systematically, set clear goals, learn to work in teams, and implement projects that benefit society. Such experience can provide an important foundation for responsible work in government, business, science, and civil-society institutions.
The opportunities being created do not automatically lead to results. Their effectiveness depends on the active participation of young people and women, their commitment to learning, their hard work, and their ability to use available programmes appropriately. Each student or young professional should therefore develop a personal growth strategy, decide which field to specialise in, and consistently acquire the knowledge and skills needed to achieve that goal.
First, those seeking educational opportunities should regularly review the official requirements for grants, scholarships, and competitions. Second, participation in articles, projects, conferences, and research should be organised systematically to support scientific development. Third, it is important to strengthen foreign-language skills, digital technology skills, and modern professional competencies in response to changes in the labour market. In the future, key tasks will include reducing regional disparities, expanding access to information, developing mentoring and internship systems, commercialising scientific and innovative projects, and strengthening the connection between education and employment. Cooperation among public authorities, educational institutions, businesses, and civil-society organisations will be particularly important.
Conclusion
Uzbekistan’s 35-year period of development since independence is an important stage for examining the country’s recent history, its economic and social development, and the growing emphasis on human capital. Today, a range of opportunities is being developed for young people and women in education, science, innovation, entrepreneurship, employment, and social engagement. A long-term approach to youth policy, expanded education and professional training, support for start-ups and innovation, and increased opportunities to learn foreign languages are intended to strengthen the role of young people as a vital part of the country’s human capital.
Additional educational grants for women, funding for research projects, support for innovative start-ups, and initiatives to develop entrepreneurial skills create important opportunities to expand women’s economic, scientific, and social participation. The meaning of independence can therefore be closely linked to the opportunities being created for today’s generation. Gaining knowledge, acquiring a profession, conducting research, developing innovative ideas, engaging in entrepreneurship, and participating actively in public life are important both for young people’s personal futures and for the country’s development. Making effective use of these opportunities requires every young person and woman to act responsibly and consistently to realise their potential.
References
1. Official website of the President of the Republic of Uzbekistan. “The ‘New Uzbekistan Youth – 2030’ Strategy Will Be Implemented.” 20 April 2026.
2. Official website of the President of the Republic of Uzbekistan. “Additional Opportunities Established to Support Youth Initiatives.” 24 February 2026.
3. Official website of the President of the Republic of Uzbekistan. “The President Met with Young People and Put Forward New Initiatives.” 30 June 2026.
4. Official website of the President of the Republic of Uzbekistan. “Uzbekistan – 2030” Strategy.
5. Committee on Family and Women of the Republic of Uzbekistan. “Equal Opportunities for Women in Education, Science, Sport, and Healthcare.” 6 February 2026.
6. Government Portal of the Republic of Uzbekistan. “New Benefits to Support Women’s Education.” 10 March 2026.
7. Government Portal of the Republic of Uzbekistan. “Procedure for Issuing Recommendations for Additional State Grants for Women from Families in Need.” 2026.
8. Youth Platform. “Girls’ Academy and Opportunities for Young People.”
Qosimova Zulhumor Toxirjon qizi was born on December 27, 1994, in Quva District, Fergana Region, Republic of Uzbekistan. She currently works as a history teacher at Diamond Valley Private School. She contributes to educating the younger generation in history, broadening students’ worldviews, and fostering respect for national history and cultural heritage
WHEN THE WORLD CHOOSES PEACE
A Poetic Appeal to Humanity
When the sky no longer trembles with fire,
when the night brings no more tears or fear,
when children sleep safely in their mothers’ arms,
and morning rises without pain or sorrow…
Then the world will understand
that peace is more than just a word.
It is bread shared with the hungry,
a hand reaching out to save a life,
and a heart that forgives without asking for reward.
Today, in so many corners of this Earth,
human beings still torture, oppress, and wound,
while children lose their innocence
in a world that should have kept them safe.
How long will the human conscience remain silent?
How many tears must fall upon this Earth,
how many lives must be shattered, how many hopes extinguished,
before humanity learns to feel another’s pain?
Let weapons fall silent and let hearts speak,
let torture and cruelty come to an end.
No power is greater than the value of life,
and no ideology can justify human suffering.
No child deserves to live in fear,
no mother deserves the pain of loss,
no human being should live in chains
of violence, hatred, or injustice.
O human being, what value have victories
when souls remain wounded?
What meaning have borders and glory
when human dignity is trampled without mercy?
Do not measure a person by nationality,
nor by faith, language, or the colour of their skin.
Measure them by the compassion they show,
the justice they defend, and the love they give.
For Earth is a home we all share,
and pain knows neither borders nor differences.
No heart should have to suffer alone
in a world with enough love for everyone.
Let the voices of good people rise,
let justice be more than a distant dream.
Let nations unite in defence of life,
so that no one is tortured, oppressed, or forgotten.
Peace is not the silence of those who suffer,
but the courage to put an end to their suffering.
Justice is not a privilege reserved for the powerful,
but a right belonging to every human being.
Let peace be our legacy,
let humanity be the light that guides us,
and let love become the language that unites us.
So that tomorrow, when children ask us
what we did to save this world,
we may answer with a clear conscience:
We did not remain silent in the face of injustice.
We did not accept cruelty as inevitable.
We defended life, dignity, and freedom.
We chose peace for all humanity.
And then, perhaps, this world
will finally learn that the greatest strength
lies not in ruling over others,
but in preserving the humanity within ourselves.
Xhuli Spahiu
Kosovo 
Smash Patriarchy by Alex S. Johnson aka Kandy Fontaine I do not fit into your gender mold Jelly roll and I resist your prurient caliper and Rapier/rapist display of dominance cos It ain't wit Bitch It's somethin' but it ain't nothin' but Guys with carved pecs boasting street brawl you can find a lot of these dudes in gay Porn...same ass-thetic pros-thetic Pitiful cos-play at Gangsta but you Wouldn't last a second in my cells Honey oh you see from shining sea to port on air Build-a-Bear the shimmer of tinfoil crackle of the glass dick Holding? Wanting to hold? got something for me? But ain't it all rilly just the Same Bull Shit Dominance front dominance front it's a Put-on like Pasty pallid eyed glam drag Queens of the Stoned Rage Doing the walk of Shame crawling back to their monster Kafka insect Hives to die a thousand thousand Megadeths my darlings huffing Raid again I See... bio Alex S. Johnson aka Kandy Fontaine is an alphabetical drag monster whose work is archived at Harvard's Widener Library. He has performed spoken word and poetry with the likes of 2.13.61/Henry Rollins-published poets Tricia Warden and Ellyn Maybe, collaborated on For Iris: The Los Angeles Poems with true punk rock progenitor Iris Berry (Ringling Sisters, Pink Sabbath, Lame Flames, The Dickies) and Richard Modiano, Joe Hill Award-winning poet and author of The Forbidden Lunchbox. Johnson/Fontaine's writing has appeared alongside Patrick Califia (Macho Sluts) and Carol Queen (PomoSexuals) and in such publications as Rolling Stone and Metal Hammer. He lives in Carmichael, California with his family.
Pedestrian
Kari felt herself being jerked and shoved down the sidewalk by the teeming crowd. The wave of humanity had swallowed her up several blocks before, when she had been trying to keep up with her sisters, Madge and Deera, older by 4 and 6 years. At the pedestrian crosswalk, Kari had looked away for just an instant, and by then it was too late.
Kari, 4-years-old, was just 39-inches tall and weighed but a scant 35 lbs, soaking wet. It was small wonder that she was being bundled along so. She thought to stop her forward motion, but was rebuffed in her efforts by the punching of the knees of the man behind her. She hurried to regain her speed. She looked out of the corner of her eye and saw the man’s shoes: they looked two feet long! She accelerated her pace some more.
She listened, but the mob of people was relatively silent. No happy talk, no chatter like she experienced on the school bus to pre-school each morning. Were these people all angry? she wondered.
The crowd halted again. Kari looked up and saw the cartoonish stoplights which loomed over every street corner. When would this strange excursion end? she wondered bleakly. She couldn’t go on forever. She could strike out on her own, but she felt an odd comfort in the familiairity she shared with these strangers. And where were her sisters? She tried looking over her shoulder, but was shoved back into line by the hard, unforgiving knees of those behind her.
A thuddering crash from overhead, and the sky opened up to a drenching rainfall. Instantly dozens of embrellas popped open, but Kari had none. She proceeded to get soaked. As the promenade continued, attendees came and went, exiting and entering taxis and buses and emerging from and dropping into the trains in the subway. Kari looked up, had no idea where she was.
They halted at yet another pedestrian walkspace–the sixth, seventh?–and Kari felt the fatigue of overtaxed 4-year-old muscles. She looked up at those in the train and didn’t recognize any of them from when she started out. What could she do? she wondered again. She thought about what he older sister Deera might do. “Pitch a fit,” urged Deera in her ear. “No one can just stand by when a little girl freaks out.”
So Kari did. As the crowd moved forward, she halted in her tracks, was instantly assaulted by the impatient knees of those behind her. She abruptly fell hard to the ground. She cried out. Ooh, good, she thought. This was so much better. A screaming child was one thing, but a child sprawled out on the wet pavement was something else again. Like magic, the crowd halted. Several adults observed Kari owlishly, then stepped over her and proceeded on their way. Far more of them, however, stopped to see if she were okay.
“Hey,” rapped a voice belonging to a man with sharp knees, “this little girl has fallen. Who’s her parent?” he demanded. Others stood around, uncertainly, as if they’d never noticed Kari before.
“That’s her mother,” said another man, pointing to a tall, willowy blonde.
“No,” said the willowy one, “she’s not mine. I never saw her before. Let’s ask her. Honey,” she said, kneeling down and helping Kari to her feet, “where’s your mama?”
Kari, always pleased by being the center of attention, contemplated briefly whether she should start crying, in order to sell it. She decided not too. “I don’t know,” she said miserably. “I was walking with my sisters back there,” and she pointed back the way they’d come, “and then they were gone.”
“What’s your name, Baby?” asked the thin blonde, who had assumed control of the situation. Kari gave her name. “Do you know your telephone number?” asked the nice woman.
Kari turned up her tiny clutch and handed it over. The woman opened it up and found Kari’s contact info. The woman pulled out her cell and punched in the number.
________
40 minutes later found Kari’s mother, Marsha, flustered and making apologies to the willowy blonde, who turned out to be a nice woman named Francine Levy.
“I can’t tell you how I appreciate your kindness, Francine,” said Marsha as the three sat before an ice cream pushcart a half block from where Kari had been discovered. The rain had stopped, the clouds dispersed and the sun shined down brightly. “When my other daughters returned without Kari, I was aghast. They were only a block away when she disappeared. It was like a nightmare; you dream about it, but never expect it to happen to you.”
“Did your other children explain how it happened?” asked Francise,
lapping at a cherry cone.
Marsha shook her head. “One second she was there, the next she was gone,” she said. “Deera has always been very responsible,” she said. “Things just got out of hand…I don’t know, I suppose that’s too much responsibility for a 10-year-old. During the school year it’s a lot easier to keep track of them, since every minute is structured and chaperoned.”
“Fortunately, you had Kari’s contact info on her,” said Francine, smiling at Kari and stroking her dark hair.
“Well, I can’t thank you enough for calling,” said Marsha. “Do you have children?” she asked.
Francine shook her head. “Not yet. But, when I do,” she said wistfully, “I like the name Kari.”
Kari beamed.
The adults said their goodbyes.
“Ready to go, Gumdrop?” Marsha asked her daughter.
Kari nodded, took a final bite of ice cream.
“You be careful in future, girl,” said her mother. “Otherwise I might have to put you on a leash.”
Kari’s eyes sprang open wide in alarm, but then she realized her mother was only teasing.
“Why did you fall and call out?” asked Marsha.
“I just did what Deera said to do,” revealed Kari, recounting her sister’s advice to “pitch a fit.”
“Deera had a point,” conceded Marsha. “It’s always the squeaky wheel that gets the grease. But, you know you can always contact a policeman, right, Honey?”
“I didn’t see any around,” said Kari. “An’ I was tired of walking.”
“I think you handled yourself very well,” said Marsha. “But, not every stranger is as nice as Francine,” Marsha pointed out.
“Are we goin’ home now?” asked Kari.
“Uh huh.”
“Can we take a taxi?” the 4-year-old asked..
“Uh huh, I think you’ve rather overplayed your pedestrian gig for one day.”
And they caught the next Yellow Cab home.