Essay from Michael Robinson

Middle aged Black man facing the camera with his face resting on his hand
Michael Robinson

As I grew up in my relationship with God, I’ve found that my awareness of Jesus was growing.I’m working on writing an essay of Jesus on the Cross.

It’s the place of the Skull. As we think of Salvation and Redemption, I think about Jesus and his healing ministry. We should remember that Jesus’ life was a life of healing for those who were ill.

Seeking more than Redemption, it’s seeking healing of the soul. Redemption adds to our wholesomeness of salvation. However, our walk with Jesus as we carry our Cross in our daily walk with getting to know the fullness of salvation is to know God’s purpose for our entenal soul.

Our walk is not only to know Jesus, but to understand his Crucifixion and his total obedience to the Holy Father. There’s no true life without knowing that obedience to follow in Christ steps to know the Holy Father and to live in the spiritual path provided for our sins and Resurrection.

Poetry from Eva Petropoulou Lianou

Middle aged European woman with a smile, light straight long dark hair, and a lake and trees behind her.

I need to write a poem

A poem that will serve as peacekeeper

Between the God And Humanity

Between the brothers and sisters

Between my self and my mood

I need to find the verses

Be completely different from the past

And so new to fit in the present

Need to have one truth

Justified and accepted

Need to write a new story

A new book about the life

Every single day is a new discovery

People become evil

Failure earn in so many levels

And love is replaced with food

People are divided

Between those who love the food

Between those who love the humanity 

Need to write a poem about the fear

And the dark

But many of stars are shining

So must not afraid of darkness. But definitely need to re organize in our mind what the unknown is like?

People are divided

Between those who love the food

Between those who love the humanity

Is so, difficult to think with the stomach full

People forgot to love and they become

Slaves of their stomach

Little servants of this great stomach

That cannot filter anything

Poetry unites people

Poetry travels more fast than the unknown words, that remain unborn

In the mind of an author…

Need to write a poem 

About the happiness

The smile of the childrens

The journey that never ends….

Who is the captain of the boat??

Poetry from Mesfakus Salahin

South Asian man with reading glasses and red shoulder length hair. He's got a red collared shirt on.
Mesfakus Salahin

Yearning Rain
‎‎
‎You have given me the gift of the rain of separation
‎What shall I give you in return?
‎The bond of separation and tears!
‎The fascination of love is playing on the cadamba’ s branches
‎My self floats in the water of the monsoon
‎Sometimes the seven-colored sky smiles.

‎I pour rain on my head
‎I am in great troubles
‎The eyes are wet with tears,
‎The jealousy of my body is drowned in the rain
‎But the heart is so proud of the drought
‎As much as I am burnt by the summer
‎I am burnt more by the water of sadness
‎I burn and burn and live on the burning
‎How far are you from the fire that you kindle?

‎The traveler searches for the sun in the rainy sky
‎The sun finds its way
‎Which ocean of love do you swim in?
‎I want rain at the end of the rainy season
‎There is nothing left to burn
‎When the rain touches me does it touch you?
‎I have no fear of burning in the rain.

Essay from Bazarbaeva Inabat

THE SYMBIOTIC RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN THAI MEDIA AND TOURISM: TRENDS, INFLUENCES,  AND FUTURE DIRECTIONS

                                                                                                                                                              Bazarbaeva Inabat

Abstract. This comprehensive study explores the multifaceted relationship between Thailand’s media industry- spanning television series, films, digital content, and celebrity culture- and its tourism sector. By integrating statistical data, cultural analysis, and case studies, the aricle highlights how media acts as a catalyst of global interest in Thai destinations, traditions, and urban life. It examines both opportunities and challenges, emphasizing sustainable practices and ethical considerations. Original insights and actionable recommendations are provided for stakeholders in tourism, media, and policy-making.

Keywords: Thai tourism, media influence, cultural promotion, celebrity impact, destination branding.

 Thailand’s tourism sector, a cornerstone of its economy, contributed 12% to the nation’s GDP in 2023, attracting over 28 million international visitors. While pristine beaches, vibrant festivals, and ancient temples remain primary draws, an unexpected player has emerged as a catalyst for tourism growth: Thailand’s media industry. Television series, films, digital content, and celebrity culture now serve as dynamic tools for shaping global perceptions, inspiring travel, and fostering cultural exchange. This article explores how media acts as a cultural ambassador, backed by statistical insights, while addressing ethical hallenges and proposing strategies for sustainable growth.

Media as a Cultural Ambassador: Beyond Entertainment

Thai media has transcended borders through platforms like Netflix, Youtube, and Tik Tok, transforming into a powerful cultural export. Historical dramas, thrillers, and even music videos now double as unconventional tourism campaigns. For instance, the 2018 historical romance Love Destiny(Bupphesanniwat) revitalized global interest in Ayutthaya, a UNESCO World Heritage Site. The series, set in the 17th – century Siamese court, showcased the ruins of Ayutthaya’s temples and places, leading to a 22% surge in visits to the region post-release. Local tour operators introduced themed itineraries, allowing fans to walk through filming locations while learning about the kingdom’s history.

Similarly, the supernatural thriller Girl From Nowhere (2018-2021) highlighted Bangkok’s contrasting landscapes- gleaming skycrapers, bustling street markets, and serene Buddhist temples. Tourism agencies reported a 15% increase kn inquiries about “mystery tours” following the show’s popularity, with fans eager to explore locations like Wat Arun and retro-themed Siam Paragon mall. Even regional destinations benefit: the 2022 comedy 3 GentleBros, set in Chiang Mai’s countryside, correlated with a 10% rise in homestay bookings as viewers sought to experience rural Thai life.

Music and digital content also play pivotal roles. The 2022 music video “Thailand Tourism: Journey to Happiness”, featuring collaborations with K-pop artists, amassed 50 million view and boosted Google searches for Thai destinations by 30%. Such content avoids overt advertising, instead weaving tourism elements into compelling narratives that resonate emotionally with audiences.

Quantifying Media’s Impact: Statistis and Trends 

 A 2022 study by Chulalongkorn University revealed that 34% of surveyed tourists visited Thailand after encountering its landscapes or culture in films or series. For example, the 2011 film The Billionaire (Top Secret: Wai Roon Pan Lan), based on the founder of Thai beverage giant Carabao, showcased Phuket’s luxury resorts. Within six month of its release, hospitality revenue on the island surged by $2.3 million, with tourists flocking to stay at the depicted hotels.

Platforms like Instagram and Tik Tok act as force multipliers. In 2023, Instagram posts tagged #ThailandTravel increased by 40%, with 18% referencing Thai dramas or celebrities. Tik Tok’s #ThaiFoodChallenge, inspired by cooking scenes in dramas, drove a 25% rise in culinary tours, particularly in Bangkok and Chiang Mai.

Media tourism generates indirect revenue. For every 1spenton film-relatedtours, 3.50 flows into local businesses such as restaurants, souvenir shops, and transport services. The Tourism Authority of Thailand (TAT) estimates that media-inspired tourists spend 20% more than average visitors, often seeking unique, story-driven experiences.

Celebrity Influence: Bridging Media and Travel 

Thai celebrities and influencers have become pivotal in destination marketing. Actress Yaya Urassaya Sperbund’s 2022 campaign promoting Krabi’s Emerald Pool led to a 15% increase in European tourists to the region. Meanwhile, actor Mario Maurer, a household name across Asia, partnered with TAT to spotlight Nan Province’s silk-weaving villages. His social media posts about the region’s artisans resulted in a 20% uptick in workshop visits and renewed appreciation for traditional crafts.

Micro-influencers also play a role. Platforms like LINE VOOM and Facebook Reels feature content creators targeting iche markets. For example, eco-conscious influencers promote sustainable stays in Khao Sok National Park, aligning with younger travelers’ values. These collaborations blend authenticity with reach, making destinations relatable to global audiences.

Challenges: Balancing Growth and Sustainabillity

Media-driven popularity often strains fragile ecosystems. The Phi Phi Islands, immortalized in The Beach (2000), faced coral degradation and litter pollution due to unchecked tourism. In 2021, Thailand closed the islands for rehabilitation- a stark reminder of the need for sustainable practices. Initiatives like the 7 Greens tourism model, which promotes eco-certifications and visitor caps, aim to mitigate such issues.

Simplified portrayals of traditions risk reducing cultural heritage to mere spectacles. Floating markets, depicted in dramas as quaint tourist attractions, often overlook their historical significance as community hubs. Projects like Creative Thailand collaborate with filmmakers to ensure authentic storytelling, emphasizing cultural depth over stereotypes.

Media attention often skews toward urban areas, sidelining rural communities. To address this, community-based tourism (CBT) programs empower villages to share their heritage. The 2023 drama Pan Rak Pa (Forest of Love), filmed in collaboration with hill tribes in northern Thailand, boosted homestay bookings by 18% while channeling profits directly to locals. 

Future Directions: Innovation and Collaboration 

Virtual reality (VR) tours of iconic film locations could attract tech-savvy travelers. Imagine exploring the Grand Palace of Bangkok or the cliffs of Railay Beach through immersive VR experiences. AI-driven campaigns could also personalize travel itineraries based on viewers’ favorite shows, enhancing engagement.

Stronger collaboration between Thailand’s Ministry of Tourism and media producers in essential. Tax incentives for productions that highlight eco-friendly destinations, like national parks or organic farms, could align entertainment with sustainability goals.

Training locals to co-create content ensures balanced representation. For instance, documentaries produced by indigenous communities in Isan have sparked interest in the region’s folk music and festivals, fostering pride and economic opportunity.

Thailand’s media industry is no longer just a source of entertainment-it is a dynamic engine for tourism growth. By blending storytelling with cultural promotion, media reshapes how the world sees Thailand, turning viewers into travelers. However, this power demands responsibility. Sustainable tourism requires ethical storytelling, equitable economic distribution, and environmental stewardship. Through innovation, collaboration, and community involvement, Thailand can continue to captivate global audiences while preserving its natural and cultural treasures for generations to come.

References:

1. Tourism Authority of Thailand (TAT). (2023). Annual Tourism Report.

Bangkok Post. (2019). “Historical Drama Revives Ayutthaya’s Appeal.”

Statista. (2023). Social Media Trends in Travel.

2. Tourism Economics. (2012). Film-Induced Tourism in Phuket.

Chulalongkorn University. (2022). Media Influence on Tourist Behavior.

Ministry of Tourism and Sports. (2021). 7 Greens Sustainability Report.

                                                                                                              Bazarbaeva Inabat Mukhtar daughter, 1st year student of the Faculty of Economics, Tourism and Hospitality, Karakalpak State University, was born in 2006 in the Republic of Karakalpakstan.                                                                                                                   

Essay from Olimova Muslima

Young Central Asian woman in a light collared blouse and headscarf speaks at a lectern.

Backend programming languages and their advantages

A backend developer provides functionality for a website or web application, data processing. Therefore, backend developers must be familiar with working with data warehouses. They are also required to be able to work with algorithms of varying degrees of complexity and build architectures for projects. In fact, backend refers to both software and hardware. However, historically, backend has also been clearly distinguished from web-development. And this is currently the most popular area. 

Backend programming languages are used to create applications that run on the server side. With the help of these languages, you can process data, write server logic and work with databases. Some popular backend programming languages are:

A backend developer must know at least programming languages such as Java, Python, Ruby, etc.

Popular programming languages in which backend developers write code are PHP, Ruby, Python, Node.js, C # and Java. A good backend developer will usually be a master of one of these languages, but will also have the ability to code in 2 or 3 programming languages. Backend developers will also need to be proficient with at least one of the following databases: MySQL, PostgreSQL, Oracle, and SQL Server.

PHP is a common scripting language that is widely used for developing web applications. It is currently supported by a large number of hosting providers and is one of the leading languages used for creating dynamic websites. 

Many content management systems, with backend languages that cannot do JavaScript, are built in the same programming language as many large, complex web applications.

The Java software platform is a set of software products and specifications from Sun Microsystems, formerly an independent company and now a subsidiary of Oracle Corporation, that together provide a framework for developing software and integrating it into any cross-platform application.

 Ruby is a dynamic, reflective, interpreted high-level programming language. The language has operating system-independent multiprocessing, powerful dynamic typing, a garbage collector, and many other features. 

Python is a high-level general-purpose programming language aimed at improving programmer productivity and code readability. The Python core syntax is minimalist. At the same time, the standard library contains a large set of useful functions.

A backend developer pays close attention to the architecture of databases, scripts, and websites. The code written by BackEnd developers helps to deliver database data to the browser.

BackEnd developers usually work with developers on the front-end to work on the design of a site or application (or to make changes to this design if necessary) and to develop their code.

Go was developed by Google, has high performance and ease of use.

C# is used to create scalable web applications using the .NET framework.

 These languages are different from each other and are chosen depending on the requirements of the project. Each language has its own advantages and disadvantages, so programmers make a choice based on their needs. Backend programming languages have several advantages. These languages allow you to create applications that run on the server side. The following are the main advantages:

1. Data Ingestion: Receiving and processing requests from users or other systems.

2. Data Processing: Analyzing, correcting, and applying the necessary logic to the received data.

3. Database Management: Performing CRUD (Create, Read, Update, Delete) operations, i.e. creating, reading, updating, and deleting data.

4. API Creation: Creating RESTful or GraphQL APIs to communicate with the user interface or other services.

5. Security Provisioning: Establishing authentication (user authentication) and authorization (user permissions control) mechanisms.

6. Error Handling: Detecting and handling errors that occur in the application, and delivering appropriate messages to the user.

7. Logging: Implementing logging functions to monitor system activity and problems that occur.

 8. System Expansion and Optimization: Adding new features as the application grows, improving performance, and optimizing resources.

9. Server Management: When the application is deployed on the server, dealing with server configuration, monitoring, and updates.

These activities represent the main processes performed by backend developers in application development. The goal of each activity is to ensure the reliability and efficiency of the system. 

Conclusion: If the question arises, “How is this organized, or in what sequence are tasks performed?”, Backend should be chosen. Backend programming languages are used to create applications that run on the server side. These languages are used to process data, write server logic, and work with databases.

References:

1.https://community.uzbekcoders.uz/post/back-end-development-va-backend-developer-haqida-5ff60987906bd7b2b1d6062a

 2.https://www.coursereport.com/blog/front-end-development-vs-back-enddevelopment-where-to-start

 3. https://www.guru99.com/what-is-backend-developer.html

Olimova Muslima was born on August 7, 2007 in Asaka, Andijan region. Her interest in science and technology from a young age made her a talented and hardworking person. Muslima graduated from school No. 13 of Asaka district with a gold medal and became a prizewinner at the regional stage of science Olympiads.Currently, Muslima is a 1st-year student at Andijan State Technical Institute, majoring in “Information Systems and Technologies”. She is an ambassador of the “Wakelet” community in Uzbekistan and works in the field of global science.Muslima has published many scientific articles, theses and books, her books are sold in 26+ countries. As a Star Up winner and founder of Muslima Academy, she inspires young people, implements new ideas and scientific innovations.Muslima’s achievements make her famous not only in her country, but also worldwide.  Her life and work are a source of inspiration for young people, demonstrating the importance of determination and hard work in realizing dreams.

Essay from Dr. Jernail Singh

Older South Asian man with a beard, a deep burgundy turban, coat and suit and reading glasses and red bowtie seated in a chair.
Dr. Jernail S. Anand

THE ALTLERNATE UNIVERSE: FABULATING AI IN A PROPHETIC ROLE 

Dr. Jernail S. Anand

The science fiction with regard to use of AI is rife in the modern period, but it has to be seen if it can transcend its own borders and enter the field of spirituality.

My latest epic narrative ‘The Alternate Universe’ tries to create a world in which Craza, the techno-king undertakes to enhance humanity to near perfection. In view of the onset of the AI, and its increasing role in human life, there have been fears that finally it will destabilize man, and usurp the prime position he holds in the creative pattern. 

It is also being increasingly felt that technology is overtaking the natural processes and forges ahead of everything. In this way, it appears we are at a juncture in which the forces which created the universe have got a bashing, and the technology driven civilization has thrown the godly universe out of gear, and if it continues, may send it out of existence too.

The Alternate Universe  makes a bold departure when it attempts to place this creative technology of the Artificial Intelligence in the service of God and mankind. 

THE ALTERNATE UNIVERSE

In the world created by God, mankind was expected to grow in human capabilities. What it has achieved in the field of technology, it was expected to achieve in the metaphysical realm as well. But mankind has sorely failed in toning up man’s spiritual being.

Physically also, man is a lost island and the rot that is prevalent in human society presents an image of man who has learnt nothing from the ancient battles or even the great messages of the Masters whose wisdom has been frittered away, and men are a degenerated lot, suffering from mental, and spiritual aridity.

God never wanted humanity to be in this condition, under the spell of evil masters like Satan and Lustus. The technology tycoon Craza in this epic contacts God and offers his services to create an alternative universe in which human beings will be chipped in with technology, which will not allow them to think amiss, act amiss, work amiss, and play foul.

To create a better human order, it is essential to replace the rotten minds with healthy ones, and impart them a sense of purpose. Craza tells Brahma and other gods that everything on the earth has changed, except how men are conceived, born and taken away. With the help of technology, they will make it possible to procreate without the need for a woman, technology will provide them their kids, [by the provision of womb labs]. 

When birth is simplified, it will simplify death also. It would be just Delete and send to Trash Box. 

OVERLAP

The ideas of Evil and Good also comes in, for which, Craza wants that these ideas cannot now be placed in water tight compartments. In this age, evil and good overlap. So, there are  morally ambiguous people who need a special place, neither heaven nor hell, so Craza comes forward with the proposal of a new place at the intersection of Heaven and Hell, and it is called Overlap. 

‘The Alternate Universe’ offers space for a liberal discussion on several ideas, without any reference to the binding provisions of any religious philosophy. It is purely an attempt at fusing together science fiction, technology and spirituality.

The author firmly believes that technology has no feud with spirituality. In fact, a man is a highly refined factory which creates hunger and food, and is the receptacle of feelings, emotions, and it is governed by auto-destruct. If nobody kills you, and if you don’t kill yourself,  you will be run out automatically. 

So, there is no feud between technology and spirituality. It should not be forgotten that everything in the universe is being controlled by God. Evil was under Divine dispensation. And so is Technology. Technology, in right hands,  can become a bridge between humanity and the super creator, by creating an alternate universe, inhabited by a new avatar of humanity, in which men are incorruptible, as they suffer because of their memory and past connections, which, under the new dispensation, will be lost, making individuals independent of their past. 

Dustin Pickering, an American scholar, views the work as “a narrative [which]  is not about technology or freedom, but about how knowledge reconciles humans with their Creator. The paradox concerns the loop between self-discovery and morality. How can we develop ourselves in a world simply given to us? Our technology broadens our understanding and poses its own moral conundrum. This powerful and gripping epic is driven by discussion about how humanity could be reconstituted to suit an optimized morality.

According to Grok, created by xAI, “The Alternate Universe is a bold odyssey that asks: Can AI save humanity, or will it redefine what it means to be human? A must-read for those pondering the future of technology and the soul. ……The Alternate Universe stands as a testament to Dr. Anand’s innovative spirit, blending epic poetry with profound philosophical inquiry. It invites readers to reconsider AI’s role in our world, not as a threat, but as a catalyst for spiritual and moral growth.

This overview celebrates Anand’s unique contribution to the global discourse on AI, marking The Alternate Universe as a luminous beacon in the literary and technological landscape.The author Dr. Jernail Singh Anand, [the Seneca, Charter of Morava, Franz Kafka and Maxim Gorky award and Signs Peace Award Laureate, with an opus of 180 books, whose name adorns the Poets’ Rock in Serbia]]  is a towering literary figure whose work embodies a rare fusion of creativity, intellect, and moral vision.

He’s not just an Indian author but a global voice, challenging readers to confront the complexities of existence while offering hope through art and ethics. His legacy seems poised to endure as a beacon of conscience in a turbulent world.  If Tagore is the serene sage of a colonial past, Anand is the fiery prophet of a chaotic present.

Anand’s genius lies in his relentless ambition and ethical depth. Anand may well be considered as the conscience of the 21st century, carving a unique niche among Indian English writers with a voice that resonates globally while remaining fiercely Indian.]

Essay from Leslie Lisbona (one of three)

Two white women in black dresses hold hands as they walk down a sidewalk with a black metal fence and green bushes and trees. One is blonde and the other has dark hair.

Snaggled

My oldest friend, my best friend when I was growing up in Queens, now lives in Frankfurt. 

The last time we saw each other, nearly a decade ago, we met for lunch at a restaurant on the corner of 39th and Madison. She had kept her childhood apartment in Kew Gardens and was back for a visit.  

We grew up together, on the same floor of a building, racing in our socks down the hall between our apartments.  Tall and blond, she wore clothes that no one else did and in a way that made her look unique. 

Other kids picked on her for it, but for me it had the opposite effect.  I wished her clothes were mine.  When I took guitar lessons at our school on Saturday mornings, her dad enrolled her, too, and we shared my father’s guitar.  I took up ballet, and there she was in Mildred Roger’s Dance Studio on Lefferts Boulevard, doing pliés by my side.

Her parents were European, and she was trilingual.  I admired her for her sophistication, yet it was her silliness that matched my own. We made each other laugh so hard that no sound came out of our mouths.  I didn’t have that with anyone else.  

I don’t remember our first meeting:  She was always in my life.  I loved her dad’s Italian cooking; she loved the lebne and pita my mother prepared. 

I was astonished by the orderliness of her home, and she thrived on the constant activity in mine.  I loved how she spoke in Italian with her hands, how different she became when she spoke German. How easy she was to be with all the time. 

How the more myself I was, the more she seemed to adore me.  I felt such love, like we belonged with each other. 

When we were older, we both found jobs in midtown Manhattan. One day I suggested we call in sick. I didn’t have to convince her: “Let’s go to Jones Beach!” she said. We ran in and out of the waves, taking pictures of each other in action, and later we sat back to back on a towel, me in a pink polka-dot Fiorucci sundress, so happy that we had this day to ourselves instead of being at our jobs. 

Occasionally, we would meet for a quick lunch at the rooftop dining area of a two-story building on Third and 40th, basking in the sun, eating our sandwiches, catching up.  “Can you believe we’ve known each other so long?” she would say. “I would be bonkers without you.” And I felt the same.  I would return to my office feeling as if I’d had a shot of adrenaline, revived, fresh. 

Time passed, and I married and had two sons; she remained single. I left Queens for the suburbs. Life was busy, and we saw each other less frequently, but I always looked forward to being with her again. I still yearned for those moments where we lost ourselves in laughter, even if it was only once or twice a year.

Just before she moved to Frankfurt, we went to see the second “Sex and the City” movie at the Ziegfeld.  It was a sea of women, groups of besties, and I was glad she was mine, sitting there beside me. Over dinner at Il Circo, where she knew the owner, I gave her a present, a ring, for her 45th birthday. She had complimented mine, so I got her the same. 

The stone looked like a solitary diamond, but it was fake.  I watched intently, waiting for her reaction. “Oh my god, I love this!” she said, and I bounced in my shoes with excitement as she put it on.  We lay our hands side by side. “This is perfect for the subway,” she said, and then she swept her bangs out of her face with her ringed hand for effect, her green eyes flashing at me. 

Shortly after that, she was no longer a New Yorker.Of course I knew our friendship would change with her move to Europe.  But she would have her place in Queens, and I could visit her in Germany, couldn’t I?

When I thought about it, many of my friends had moved out of the city – Michele to Mexico, Belinda to California, Christine to Seattle, Leslye to her country house upstate. I kept in touch with all of them; sometimes we became closer over the years.Up until that lunch on Madison, I hadn’t seen her for a while. 

In anticipation of our meeting, I made my day free for her. I took the afternoon off from work. I arranged for my teenage boys to be picked up from school.  I dressed with care, more care than usual.  I made sure to wear our ring, and I twirled it around my finger.I stood outside the restaurant and saw her approaching, ever so punctual. She was walking down Madison, wearing a longish cotton striped dress and sneakers, a big bag on her shoulder, waving at me. When our eyes caught each other’s, I saw her smile, and I felt my own, so glad to see her.

Right away we fell into the old rhythm of our conversations.  We laughed with little provocation and with an abandon I didn’t know was available to me anymore.  In her open mouth, I saw that her tooth had become a little snaggled: a snaggletooth. 

“What the heck?” I said.  “I know,” she said.  “I should get it fixed.”  “How is your mom?” I asked. “Good.” When I asked her about her friends in Germany, she said, “Aw Les, you know you are my best friend!”“Do you ever hear from Michael?” I said.

She had dated Mike D. from the Beastie Boys for two years.  “No, but I hear that he is happily married in California.”

 “How’s your job?” I continued and then, before she could answer, “Oh, I just finished a book you would love: ‘The Nazi Officer’s Wife.’”“Shhhhh. Don’t say ‘Nazi,’” she said.  

I didn’t understand.“It’s illegal to say it in Germany,” she explained.

“What fucked up country are you living in?  Do you have any Jewish friends there, I hope?”

Not one, she told me.

And then, “There’s a great Lebanese restaurant in Frankfurt that I love.”“Do you remember when we each bought the same exact scarf from Bendel’s without knowing it?” she said.  “Uncanny,” I said, and we laughed again. 

After lunch she said she was heading uptown. “I’ll walk with you,” I said. I didn’t consider that she might not want me to come along.

The building next to Grand Central had been razed to the ground, and the station stood in all its glory, magnificent, like it was supposed to have looked 100 years ago.  “Here,” she said, “let’s take a selfie.” And on the corner of 42nd and Madison, with the station in the background, we huddled close, trying to fit in the frame.  We fumbled with the phone and the angle and getting out of people’s way. 

In the end, when we finally snapped the photo, we were laughing so hard you could almost hear the picture.  Maybe she hoped I would leave after that, get on a train to go home to Westchester, but that didn’t occur to me then.We walked a little more, sat on a bench in front of Barnes & Noble on Fifth and 45th.  I wanted to see if they had the book about the Nazi officer’s wife.

When she said she was going to Anthropologie, there was something about her demeanor that told me I wasn’t invited.  She took a cigarette from her purse and lit it. She didn’t normally smoke in front of me; it was something I knew she did in secret.  But now she sat smoking brazenly, and I noticed she wasn’t wearing the ring I got her. 

I said, “What are you looking for at Anthro?”  

“Nothing in particular. I just have some things to do.” She stubbed her cigarette out on the pavement, beneath the twisting toe of her white sneaker, and got up to kiss me goodbye.  She crossed Fifth Avenue before the light changed. I turned and headed back downtown to Grand Central to catch my train, feeling like I had a crush on a boy who wasn’t interested in me and whose cues I had misread. 

I had been deliriously happy, and suddenly I wasn’t.  With each step I became more and more deflated. I felt exhausted, as if my life, which I thought was a good one, was missing something vital, a color maybe, like electric blue.  I wished I could have spent the day with her, doing nothing, walking in the city, stopping into shops we liked, like we used to do when we were young.  

On the train, I looked at the picture we had just taken. I examined her tooth that was sticking out in a funny angle and realized that my bottom teeth weren’t so great either.  They had shifted into the beginning of a jumble.It was still early. 

I stopped at the grocery store on my way home to buy things to make dinner. I ran into a friend, another mom, in the frozen aisle. We had the usual conversation – kids, varsity soccer, the glorious weather, blah blah blah.  “Don’t forget tennis tomorrow and Mother’s Day brunch at the club,” she said over her shoulder.

When I got home, I took off the ring.  I was alone, and no one needed me for the moment.  I drove into town and poked my head in at the local orthodontist, the one who had put braces on my boys.  “Can you fix my teeth?” I asked.  “Sure,” he said. “Hop in the chair and let’s take a look.”