Christmas Day
He’s by himself
On Christmas Day
And thoughts
Of dying alone
Seem less unpleasant
Than they have been
For years.
Taylor Dibbert is a writer, journalist, and poet in Washington, DC. “Takoma,” his sixth book, is due out on January 3.
Dawn in the Forest: An Ode to Nature
The sun rises out of the belly of the earth
Like a giant orange over the mellow meadows
Birds singing their esoteric songs,
Honeysuckles bask in the morning dew
A doe rustling to life after a long sleep
Caterwauling creatures echo over hillsides
Below the canopy are vanguards of activity
Supple blow of the wind weaving in and out of the trees
Conglomeration of broods chirping in their nests
Cryptic mating calls abound
The forest miniature wilds
From aphids to beetles slugs to toads
All on a brownish tarnished tray in disarray on the forest floor
Centipedes skulk through soil caterpillars chomp though leaves
Beetles pelt in their holes trailing and gathering in a
Resilient resolve to cling to life in spite of natural strife
In the deciduous forest that scraps its skin in the fall
Nature calms like a mother
Spring awakens
Chipmunks come out of burrows
Baby katydids and tent caterpillars hatch
Queen bumble bees collect nectar from wild flowers
Azure butterflies greet the dawn
Luna moth squirms and scratches within its cocoon
Green tiger beetles with large eyes jumping spiders with sharp eyes
Pounce on prey!
Between the ferns at your feet and the tree over your head
Is the leafy understory
It’s the furrowed tree trunks weedy bushes brushing your shoulders
Old dead tree that lie on the floor expecting to be explored
Red spotted purple butterflies, ant lions and wood nymphs
Sunset descends as many animals become bed heads
Chipmunk heads to its burrow cicadas stop singing
Birds fly to their resting place
Bush katydid shed its skin in nocturne
All insects molt so they can grow
Winter is here…
Woods are lovely dark and deep says Mr. Frost
And its inhabitants have NO promises to keep
Icicles sparkle on bare branches
Downy white snow manteau the ground
Mysterious eyes carved obsidian in the moonlit dusk
The geese robins and monarch butterflies fly south
While the animals that stay germinate winter skin to stay warm
The air is pure and clean like a mountain stream
Now all bed heads head off to bed to sleep perchance to dream…
[Originally published in Litterateur Redefining World anthology and Fleury’s book: Chain Letter to America: The One Thing You Can Do to End Racism: A Collection of Essays, Fiction and Poetry Celebrating Multiculturalism]
Jacques Fleury is a Boston Globe featured Haitian-American poet, educator, author of four books, and literary arts student at Harvard University online. His latest publication “You Are Enough: The Journey to Accepting Your Authentic Self” & other titles are available at all Boston Public Libraries, the University of Massachusetts Healey Library, the University of Wyoming, Askews and Holts Library Services in the United Kingdom, The Harvard Book Store, The Grolier Poetry Bookshop, Amazon etc… He has been published in prestigious publications such as Wilderness House Literary Review, Muddy River Poetry Review, Litterateur Redefining World anthologies out of India, Poets Reading the News, the Cornell University Press anthology Class Lives: Stories from Our Economic Divide, Boston Area Small Press and Poetry Scene, among others…Visit him at: http://www.authorsden.com/jacquesfleury.
———————————————————————————-
mistakes
i grew up in a dysfunctional
family where i wasn’t allowed
to make mistakes
and whenever i would make
a mistake
i was punished for it; stand in
the corner for hours, no tv or
radio, etc.
so, of course, i did whatever
i could to not make mistakes
to this day, i am programmed
to be punished when i do make
a mistake
mostly from myself
i know it isn’t healthy
not good for my mental state
but shit, what is anymore
part of the reason i don’t
need therapy
it all was from a fucked up
childhood, just like everything
else
————————————————————————
just as difficult to find
i have a running joke
with my mother that
i would love a morphine
drip for christmas
that or a rare mickey
mantle baseball card
amazingly, roughly
the same price and
just as difficult to
find
so, socks and
underwear
yet again
no excuse to
die without
fresh ones
on
——————————————————————
blood soaked presents
a man came down
the chimney and
quickly was greeted
with a shotgun
he joked, where are
the milk and cookies
one blast later
and the shooter
was enjoying
a few of them
blood soaked presents
christmas in the hood
not sure what any of
these fucks think are
behind these shallow
walls
————————————————————————–
empty shopping centers
as a cynical adult
i can’t help but wonder
how many pedophiles
are at home watching
these christmas specials
with a hard on
to say i hate the holidays
is like calling the greatest
liar ever elected president
in this country abraham
lincoln
and i’m sure given a few
twists and turns this life
could have been much
different
sadly, those roads have
been built over and are
now empty shopping
centers
———————————————————————————
a long rope and a tall tree
another waiting room
more christmas music
these are the mornings
where i could use a
long rope and a tall
tree
there’s a large
evergreen in
our backyard
decisions, decisions…
J.J. Campbell (1976 – ?) is trapped in suburbia, waiting for time to finally be on his side. He’s been widely published over the years, most recently at Disturb the Universe Magazine, The Dope Fiend Daily, The Beatnik Cowboy, Horror Sleaze Trash and Yellow Mama. You can find him most days on his mildly entertaining blog, evil delights. (https://evildelights.blogspot.com)
Homeland, I Sing of You
In the white and black passageway,
I am stepping one by one.
With words in my hand… a single tune,
Homeland, I sing of you.
The path of my life is long thread,
I do not know where it will end.
If they say, “Love,” I will be filled,
Homeland, I love you deeply.
Is it a tree, one branch,
Even if I’m alone, I will rejoice.
If they set me ablaze,
I will burn as “Homeland.”
The spring water is oh so sweet,
I will drink it to my heart’s content.
What is value, they may ask?
Homeland, I understand you.
To my father and mother,
I will open my arms wide.
To my most sacred phrase,
Homeland, I will write of you.
—
O’tkir Mulikboyev Qo’chqor o’g’li
Teacher of Primary Education
75th School, Qo’shrabot District,
Samarkand Region, Uzbekistan
SNOW WITNESS, LIGHT WITNESS
A lonely wanderer sits in the silence,
The heavens do not spread the grievances of yesterday.
A feeble message asking for forgiveness.
On the evening when the moon sets, my thoughts linger.
Cold winter brings sparks in the snow,
Autumn has gathered the wanderer’s blanket early.
The hunter will not give up his warm place,
Longing torments, trust is fading away.
Days and weeks remain in the past,
Pride does not allow remembrance of the greetings.
Perhaps it will rise, self-concealing,
The wretched love has captured the heart.
On the dark night, he heads back home,
Who knocks behind the window?
The vision of the girl comes to mind,
He hurriedly looks at the window, silent.
He returns again, he gazes once more.
Snow falls, hearts melt in its warmth.
Today is a symbol of the happiness he’s received,
The girl appears, preserving the ring in her palm.
Wrapped in a passionate smile, the world unfolds.
Clouds disperse, and the moon captures the light.
Two youthful hearts that have forgotten grievances.
Snow witness, light witness, sorrow dissipates.
Snow is Falling
Snow is falling, wishes abound,
Like silk draping in golden hands.
Children run eagerly from behind,
Hurry up, dear Snowman, to our land.
Let sparkles scatter across the ground,
Whoever enters the path of joy.
Some will turn into gnomes, it’s profound,
Holding sweet cotton in each little boy.
The fir trees sway, showing their height,
While little hearts spin with delight.
If the lights flicker and fade away,
Joy ignites on faces, bright as day.
The forest becomes a lively scene,
The grand show begins, it’s quite a dream.
As the forest shadows come out to play,
Fox, rabbit, bear, and wolf display.
A moment of awe gleams from the eyes,
It wraps the heart in tender ties.
The snowy peaks, cloaked in white’s embrace,
Even the elders feel thrilled in this space.
Shaking off worries, carefree we stand,
Hopes of children join hand in hand.
Feelings of youth come rushing back,
A sense of happiness, filling the crack.
The sound of hooves rings throughout the air,
“Snowman!” cries the little ones in flair.
With a long beard resting on his chest,
A sack of gifts sprawled on his quest.
All of existence lends itself to song,
The snow melts away the heart’s frozen throng.
As I peek from the window at dawn,
A wondrous world waits, brightly drawn.
Believing in fairytales, I feel so right,
In this moment, I’m a child of delight.
The effectiveness of the technology of using logical exercises and tasks in primary school mother language lessons
Umarova Azizakhon Burkhonovna
Navoi State Pedagogical University
Faculty of Preschool and Primary Education
specialty 70110401-Theory and Methodology
of Education and Training (Primary Education)
1st year master’s student
Abstract: The technology of using logical exercises and tasks in primary school native language lessons involves identifying and evaluating innovative approaches that help develop students’ thinking skills and deeper mastery of the educational material. The study of the technology of using logical exercises and tasks in primary school native language lessons is relevant today due to the need to effectively organize the educational process, develop students’ critical and creative thinking skills, and adapt the educational content to modern requirements. Although logical exercises and tasks serve to develop students’ thinking skills and increase the effectiveness of the lesson, we have very little knowledge about the selection of those that can be most effective in the process of implementing these technologies in practice and the lack of sufficient scientific basis for their application. In this article, we analyze the effectiveness of the technology of using logical exercises and tasks in primary school native language lessons, their impact on students’ thinking skills and results in the learning process. We also focus on identifying specific approaches and recommendations for the practical application of these technologies. We studied the methodologies used in native language lessons, including an analysis of previous studies on the impact of logical exercises and tasks on students. In addition, we developed new, interesting and interactive exercises, games and tasks that correspond to the age and psychological characteristics of students. By creating our own new methods, we observed a significant improvement in students’ logical thinking and independent learning skills. We also noticed in experimental testing that interactive and innovative approaches further increased students’ interest in lessons and their level of success. In this article, we developed new methodological approaches aimed at developing logical thinking in primary school native language lessons. These methods are also designed to strengthen students’ analytical thinking and make the educational process more effective and interactive.
Keywords: Primary school, native language, logical exercises, logical tasks, interactive methods, logical thinking, increasing sentences, put words in place, find the extra word, pyramid of words.
Indroduction. Logical exercises and tasks help develop students’ thinking skills, as they increase the skills of analyzing, comparing, and drawing conclusions in the process of solving problems. Such tasks benefit students not only in mastering knowledge, but also in applying it in practice. In order to introduce effective methods for developing students’ thinking skills, Dilnoza Akbarova conducted scientific work on the topic “Using logical exercises and tasks in primary school native language lessons” in 2019 and published her book “Methodological approaches to developing logical thinking.” The effective use of logical exercises in the classroom was studied by Yulia Frolova in 2016 during her scientific research on the topic “The use of logical exercises and tasks in primary education”. As a result of her research, she wrote her book “Formation of students’ thinking in Russian language lessons”. The use of logical exercises and tasks in primary language lessons is one of the main elements of developing students’ thinking skills and effectively organizing the educational process.
Today, the use of logical exercises and tasks in primary education is of great importance in developing students’ thinking skills. Research and practice conducted by international organizations in this area confirm the effectiveness of this approach. UNESCO has implemented many programs to develop innovative technologies in primary education. The organization has developed special recommendations for developing students’ logical and critical thinking skills. UNESCO-developed educational materials are used in primary education programs around the world to develop students’ thinking processes and creative abilities. The OECD’s PISA program aims to assess and develop students’ thinking skills. These studies substantiate the need to include logical tasks and exercises in the educational process. PISA studies have led to the widespread use of tasks based on logical thinking in native language classes in many countries. This has helped to increase students’ ability to analyze texts in depth. The World Bank has financed many projects to develop primary education. Among them are the issues of introducing logical exercises into curricula and training teachers in this regard. World Bank programs have made a significant contribution to teaching students to think independently and solve logical problems. These projects have also been widely implemented in developing countries.
This article aims to show a phenomenon that has not been sufficiently studied so far. Dilnoza Akbarova (2019) studies the effectiveness of using logical exercises and tasks in primary grades and, based on these studies, publishes the work “Methodological approaches to the development of logical thinking”. John Dewey presents new methods aimed at developing logical thinking by teaching students independent learning and publishes the book “Experience and Education” in order to apply the methods in practice. The study of these works is very important, because the existing works are aimed at increasing the effectiveness of the lesson for use in primary school classes. This means that our knowledge about the technology of using logical exercises and tasks in native language lessons has not yet been fully studied and analyzed.
Material and methods. Today, there is a lack of appropriate methods for the effective use of logical exercises and tasks in primary school native language lessons and difficulties in the correct implementation of these methods by teachers. This creates obstacles to the development of students’ thinking skills and necessitates the creation of new pedagogical approaches and methods. A lot of scientific research and methodological developments have been studied on the technology of using logical exercises and tasks in native language lessons in primary school. This topic is related to the importance of developing students’ logical thinking skills in education. Logical exercises develop students’ independent thinking, ability to identify logical connections, and draw conclusions. This type of training increases students’ activity and enhances the effectiveness of learning. This topic was studied by such scientists as H. T. Turakulov, Sh. G. Mavlonova, A. H. Bozorov and Vygotsky (ZPD theory), Bruner (constructivism), Piaget (cognitive development theory). Innovative educational technologies (Blended Learning, Gamification, Flipped Classroom) are widely used in native language lessons. Scientific work on the implementation of logical exercises in the teaching process using these methods was carried out by N. Nazarova in the works “Interactive methods for primary school students” and Z. M. Rakhimova in the works “Pedagogical foundations of the development of logical thinking”. Dilnoza Akbarova, who studied the age-appropriate features of the development of children’s logical thinking, studied methods for developing logical thinking in native language lessons for primary school students. R. G. Yusupov, on the other hand, developed modern approaches to teaching the native language in primary school.
Results and discussion. How does the technology of using logical exercises and tasks in native language lessons in primary school affect the language learning process of students, the development of logical thinking skills, and the effectiveness of the lesson?
We began our research with pilot testing among 3rd grade students from 5 schools. First, we developed new methods for using logical exercises and tasks for primary school students. Then, we tested these methods as an experiment in each class. In the pilot testing, we used the following new logical exercises and tasks.
1. “Increasing sentences”
Goal: To teach students to think logically and complete sentences.
How to conduct:
The teacher says a simple sentence: “A river is flowing.”
Students expand the sentence by adding new words:
“A big river is flowing.” → “A big river is flowing quietly on a summer day.”
Each added word must be logically related.
2. “Put the words in their place”
Goal: To study the order in constructing sentences.
How to conduct:
The teacher gives mixed words:
For example: “A flower bloomed in spring.”
Students arrange the words and construct the correct sentence: “A flower bloomed in spring.”
3. “Find the extra word”
Goal: To develop logical thinking and analytical skills.
How to conduct:
A set of words is given:
Apple, pear, tomato, peach.
Students find the extra word and explain why it is extra (tomato is not a fruit, but a vegetable).
4. “Pyramid of words”
Goal: To increase vocabulary and find similar words.
How to conduct:
The teacher gives one word, for example: “Book.”
Students write other words related to this word:
Book → cover → pages → text → reading.
The student who writes the most logical words wins.
5. “Decipher”
Goal: To improve the ability to understand the order and meaning of words.
How to conduct:
The teacher gives a coded sentence:
For example: “2 apples, 1 tree, 3 flowers.”
Students turn this coded sentence into a complete sentence:
“There are two apples and three flowers under the tree.”
6. “Finish the sentence”
Goal: To develop students’ ability to make logical conclusions.
How to conduct:
The teacher says the initial sentence:
“The sun rose and…”
Students continue the sentence: “…everywhere was lit up.”
Each student answers according to their creativity.
During the pilot test at the school, students were presented with new logical exercises and their effectiveness was monitored. The level of logical thinking of students, their activities in the lesson, and their mastery indicators were evaluated. Based on the data obtained from the test process, the effectiveness of the methods was analyzed and the necessary changes were made. Using the results of the pilot test, it was possible to measure the impact of modern methods on students and determine how they help improve the learning process. After that, improved technologies and recommendations were developed.
We paid special attention to the development of technology for using logical exercises and tasks in primary school native language lessons, helping to effectively improve students’ logical thinking skills. Through new methods, we contributed to improving students’ thinking processes and effectively organizing the learning process. These methods allow to increase students’ educational success and make the learning process more interactive and effective.
Conclusion. The technology of using logical exercises and assignments in primary school lessons is important in activating students, developing their analytical thinking skills and increasing the effectiveness of the learning process. Studies have shown that this technology teaches students to think logically, to form their observation and analytical skills. Logical exercises and assignments help to develop students’ speech and strengthen their ability to express their opinions in a clear and logical sequence. This will give positive results not only in the classroom, but also in the mastery of other subjects. The study found that logical tasks are one of the most effective ways to teach students to think independently. Logical exercises also showed high results in increasing students’ learning motivation, arousing interest in learning, and developing critical thinking in them. In the process of using this technology, it is important for teachers to organize the lesson correctly, gradually introduce the exercises and adapt them to the age and individual capabilities of students. In short, the technology of using logical exercises and assignments in primary school lessons will improve the quality of the learning process, but also serve the personal intellectual development of students. This approach is one of the most effective means not only to educate, but also to form active ways of mastering students. Therefore, one of the urgent tasks of the modern education system is to implement and further improve the technology of using logical exercises and assignments on a large scale.
Used literature:
1. Akbarova, D. (2019). Methodical approaches to the development of logical thinking. Tashkent: Publishing House of Uzbekistan.
2. Frolova, Y. (2016). Formirovanie myshleniya uchashchikhsya na urokah russkogo yazyka. Moscow: Russian Academy of Education.
3. UNESCO. Education for Sustainable Development Goals: Learning Objectives (2017).
4. OECD. PISA 2018 Results: What Students Know and Can Do (2019).
5.World Bank. World Development Report 2018: Learning to Realize Education’s Promise (2018).
“The Gotta Keep on Feeling
Even When it Leaves Me Reeling
‘Cause I Can’t Just Not feel Any More Blues”
A few months outta the incubator
this cooing preemie poet, supine in my crib,
couldn’t turn over as my bro’ grew irater,
belting me through the bars in his angry bib.
To strike a lyric impulse, born of joy,
may twist it into a worse little boy.
Got the gotta keep on feeling
even when it leaves me reeling
’cause I can’t just not feel any more blues.
If I turned mean early, I’d no chance to really live –
who showed new bro’s such perfidy –
but then lightened up when they appeared to forgive,
seeing me draw Dad’s fire, haplessly.
He sometimes whipped his sons in his drunken ire –
I liked to take ’em swimming through fancy’s fire.
My bro’s came down to the basement one day,
told me no more Flash Gordon would we play.
They’d let Dad talk ’em into studyin’ TECH –
he said imagination was imaginary dreck –
so for Sci-Fi novels alone in their room
my playmates left me in the basement gloom.
Got the gotta keep on feeling
even when it leaves me reeling
’cause I can’t just not feel any more blues.
My new costar was my friend from the street.
At improv’ play interpreting TV
our concerted inspirations fed hilarity,
so I naturally figured it’d be real neat
to have him meet my flame since kindergarten…
Why her liking him instead me so dishearten?
I started a fight in which he got beat.
Got the gotta keep on feeling
even when it leaves me reeling
’cause I can’t just not feel any more blues.
My Dad, mostly gone, moved us thrice in succession –
huge old houses, some ghetto neighborhood
where black or white bullies, at their discretion,
on the street or in class beat up stunned me good.
My kid brothers, though, didn’t take defeat so hard,
but fought them to a standstill in our front yard.
How could I have thought, if I’d become who I was born
and had folks who shared a spirit of lyrical romance,
to have merited so roundly all my peers’ epic scorn?
A brash pacificism was identity’s best chance,
won a sympathetic friend who’d help keep track
of bully maneuvers. I think he was black.
Since math test A’s, but not my essay ones
won my father’s praise, his tuition funds
went to shrewder bro’s when we left high school.
Dad made me, though, feel like a fool,
saying, “Good sons go to college, bullies never will.”
So I had to join the service for the G.I. Bill.
Got the gotta keep on feeling
even when it leaves me reeling
’cause I can’t just not feel any more blues.
Recruiter promised language school out in Monterey.
I signed my enlistment papers that very day.
But down in basic training heard Drill Instructor say,
“Recruiting Sergeant’s promises you can just throw
into the shit-can – you’re mine now, you know?
Our two-week clerk school’s where you’re going to go!”
Got the gotta keep on feeling
even when it leaves me reeling
’cause I can’t just not feel any more blues.
My Colonel math Prof’ from our isolated base
told his Airman ace-test student confidingly
my civilian English Prof was a queer disgrace –
though he’d lit up many a dark stanza for me.
When for pushing Air Force pencils my desire lost its clout
they gave me a court-martial and an early out.
Got the gotta keep on feeling
even when it leaves me reeling
’cause I can’t just not feel any more blues.
Ya gotta grow sci-biz brains so smart,
ya really can’t grow a mind with heart,
so after discharge I buckled down
for A’s in math, made my brothers frown –
then I changed my courses to the English I espouse
and my bro’s and Ma kicked me out of the house.
Got the gotta keep on feeling
even when it leaves me reeling
’cause I can’t just not feel any more blues.
Drove out west where tuition was cheap,
got waylaid into a ghetto hippie commune
where free love proved a vow you couldn’t keep,
though onto two non-jealous nymphs you glom, you’n
your artist pal. Mine starved to duck the draft –
and when I mentioned college the girls just laughed.
Got the gotta keep on feeling
even when it leaves me reeling
’cause I can’t just not feel any more blues.
Footnote:
I’m the one who didn’t hold free love together
in a world of possessiveness and jealousy,
though my buddy and I couldn’t be sure whether
our girls, having ravished us thoroughly,
couldn’t just up and do the same for another;
and, when we asked ’em, heard ’em agree
that my buddy and I could be those other!
Ah, we four had commitment and variety….
‘Til the draft wrote my friend, and he grew quite thin.
So, since one of our girls had an Aunt who could cover
their expenses ’til his 4-F deferment came in,
they left. Four people, each with just one lover –
living as couples in estrangement’s sin.
I had to use the GI Bill – as protests swept through town –
I quit my drugs ‘n’ smokes to try another way.
With clerical and class work’s endless sitting down
I’d jog, skate or cycle miles ev’ry other day
after work hours of dummy-down ennui,
to revive me for lectures on creativity.
Snapshot of moi:
Here I am gliding downhill
toward an intersection,
making a sudden right turn
off the toe-stop of my left skate
to avoid slamming into a crossing semi.
Three years on, art student and guttersnipe,
in interesting times I found ’em seldom ripe
to take off work to meet with prof’s after class
(or have an affair with some accommodating lass) –
only work days, then study for honor roll,
nights full of sirens as the riots take their toll.
Got the gotta keep on feeling
even when it leaves me reeling
’cause I can’t just not feel any more blues.
Some hooker’d take me home to meet her mother.
They’d treat me with warm deference and regard,
but frequently they had one absent brother
and son – to speak of him was always hard.
So how that summer could I check where he was at?
Just join the poor some night, fight back – that’s that.
Got the gotta keep on feeling
even when it leaves me reeling
’cause I can’t just not feel any more blues.
Footnote:
Five wars ago I thought I might be big:
in solidarity with gangling guys
I’d seen through riots slouch, I hit a pig –
if you can’t fight, this may not prove too wise.
In jail, my first week there, a bunch of dudes
jumped on a young grass dealer late one night –
who, next day, called the guards and me includes
as one of his attackers! So then right
into the compound rolled the paddy-wagon.
When I therein with five rapists-accused
had sat half an hour, my spirits flaggin’,
the victim changed his mind – I was excused.
Could I my fellow inmates’ taunts survive?
One turned me on to pumpin’ iron – he,
a genie black, desired I stay alive –
who wonder why, still pumpin’ irony.
Girls at the office may suspect a college man,
like classmate girls who see that he must work.
Incredibly, though, either place a fellow can
probably get lucky who flirtation doesn’t shirk –
since, strapped for time and cash, with mere technique
I sometimes found a lover for an eve’ning or a week.
My black sheepskin was sent by snail mail.
They save the ceremonies for grads who don’t hit cops.
Times changing, school job prospects fail
but Civil Service wants you if your test score’s tops:
Humanities scholars toiling far afield,
so happy for a gig that makes us nothing but well-healed.
Snapshot of Moi:
These are the new class
of SSI Benefit Authorizers,
bachelors to doctors who couldn’t find
work in their fields, chairs in an oval.
Behind the desk at one end
stands the Head of the Western Division.
I now stand in my turn –
stating name, College, field of study,
“Creative Writing” – at which he laughs –
the only pursuit to get that reaction.
Got the gotta keep on feeling
even when it leaves me reeling
’cause I can’t just not feel any more blues.
Out of desperation, but idyllically,
as I seemed to have tuition benefits left,
I took some manuscripts to the university,
onto a prof’s desk the stack of ’em to heft;
with my low GPA I didn’t think he’d give a damn,
but his letter was my ticket to the the Grad program.
I was two more years in full-time academe
with low-pay part-time desk work again
when the government cut off the money stream –
so I dropped out, shipped out with lonely men
on a twelve-month voyage in the Merchant Marine –
then I made it back to the campus scene.
My friend’s, our girls’ and my hippie menage
once lent this monkish scholar Casanova panache,
whose sporadic lovers now made such a sparse collage
that I took a logic course and impressed a babe, by gosh!
When I had somehow caught, though, a cute singer’s eye
and they ran into each other I was two girls shy.
Got the gotta keep on feeling
even when it leaves me reeling
’cause I can’t just not feel any more blues.
When your discharge and rapsheet trump also the M.A.
that another year of classes and some loans win you,
they’ll take you eight years at clerk’s wages to repay –
since Fed jobs aren’t PC enough now ever to pursue.
All claim as young men the title of Master –
in keeping which art types court total disaster.
Got the gotta keep on feeling
even when it leaves me reeling
’cause I can’t just not feel any more blues.
Snapshots without moi:
These photos are two
graduation ceremonies –
S.F. State seventy-five,
U.C.B. Eighty-four –
your poetry major couldn’t attend –
units delayed, a technicality –
no gown for him nor any hood,
no traipse across the stage with his peers.
Footnote:
In far the most humiliating scene
I’ve e’er endured, the real Living End,
young Laura, roomie, tutee, cutie – mean –
her then main squeeze, my guts-mad biker friend,
and I our way we wended toward the tall
encrusted town. We escalating up
from subway, toward Three Stooges festival,
Chicano cat who’d one too many cup
accosted me and wouldn’t let me pass.
I sidestepped, ran five paces, turned –
around ‘n’, like a fool, I called him “ass,”
but learned with what attacking rage he burned.
As soon as I began exchanging blows
with him, my motorcycle pal emerged,
who jumped him. From the crowd there then arose
a further swarthy brawler. When I urged
my friend to let me have my fights, the new
hidalgo went at him. As their fists rained,
this Juan, Ill call him, (though I never knew),
resumed his work to keep me entertained.
As student, swimmer, skater, clerk may fight
I stood and fought him even, as he me.
‘Twas several minutes gone into the night
until I knew I’d not the winner be.
I made a bleak half-hearted lurch to flee,
he turned our battle into running one….
He tired. Again the odds weighed evenly.
Somewhere distant Jerry shared such fun,
while somewhere nearby Laura sweetly wept.
A quizzical surprise lit my foe’s grin –
it seemed as though I’d actually kept…
my end up. Then the blame Police stepped in,
attacking, as pigs will, in out-sized odds
while charging us, as pigs will, from behind.
One seized my belt in back. I cursed his gods,
his chains, his bars, his heart so young gone blind.
They sorted us by seeming sides, then bade
us sit on low concrete retaining-wall.
They checked ID’s, bestowed no accolade
to ask me whence I hailed, me winner call.
But balmy Jerry said, “Stop crying, Laura.”
I, hearing, said, “Stop crying, Laura” too;
but n’er were saying when she donned her aura,
(nor pressing charges), something we could do.
Except for Juan, the pigs let us all go.
except the hombre I’d been flailing at.
He wore no guns, no cages kept, and – oh –
he fought me clean, alone, up front – no rat.
But since he had a “prior” he got hauled
away, and all because of me! But she,
that biker’s imp, said I should not be called
a wimp, though, any more – and frowned at me,
a Kleenex patting gently on my brow.
Then Jer’, his lover Laura, and I resumed
our way. She led, a goddess from the prow
of some old ship. I trailed, soul-entombed.
The only right or privilege my Parchment confers
that isn’t cancelled out by my follies and crimes
is this Eternal Youth the credential ensures.
But you get that without school, using just the rhymes,
avoid the shame ‘n disrespect, years’ study gettin’ hornia
where hard dreams come true easy here in sunny California.
Got the gotta keep on feeling
even though it leaves me reeling
’cause I can’t just not feel any more blues.
Political Coda
Most citizens acknowledge reparations are owed
to Native Americans by our old Uncle Sam,
and that poor home-owners under tax burden bowed
were due for relief – but our sold-out leaders’ scam
could grant the first wish only while they gambling
legalize,
the second just with industry’s big tax-break prize.
Got the gotta keep on feeling
even when it leaves me reeling
’cause I can’t just not feel any more blues.
Envoy: “Drugs from Within”
When gray hill skaters learn to cheat
and motorize the ol’ two-wheeler
endorphin high they thought so neat
becomes adrenal thrill, much realer.
If you prefer drugs from within
you too might try adrenalin.
It floods you out upon a Honda –
of feelings few will you grow fonda.
Of course one wants, when one reflects,
hormonal joys that come with sex –
which thought makes workout fans most blush
who relish an endorphin rush.