(I was eight years old when God’s Holy presence entered my awareness.)
An essay of Faith
“GOD WANTED ME.”
“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, “plans to give you hope and a future.”
Jeremiah 29:11
Preface: I have walked seeking God since my earliest days of life. God has been my focus and my needs to know that I belonged to someone. An empty place and a darker place that surrounded me. Amidst the seven day candle representation God’s Holy Light and the burning colors of the votive candles burning and finally, the magnificent array of colors flowing through the stained-glass windows.
This was my sanctuary from the darkness in all aspects of my life outside of God heart for me in this place of Salvation.
God adopted me between the ages of eight or ten years of age. I’m uncertain completely because my aunt Lucille adopted me legally at age eight, but God accepted me since my birth. He truly loved me and He created me. My aunt Lucille exposed me to Holy Redeemer Catholic Church on New York Ave in DC. Morning mass was a part of her religious ritual. Each weekday I’d accompany her to Holy Redeemer. Sitting there amidst these elderly women of the church who were regular attendees for weekly morning mass. Monday thru Friday. Saturday was another Catholic Church Saint Aloysius on North Capitol St.
Saint Aloysius was different to me. It was different inside. It seemed larger than Holy Redeemer. It wasn’t those old ladies there and only a few other attendees at Saturday morning mass. At Holy Redeemer being the only child there added to the feeling of being out of place.
However, at Saint Aloysius there was a sense of privacy with God, but at Holy Redeemer there was no sense of privacy to be with God. Only my aunt and I sat in the pews with plenty of space. There was one circumstance in which the priest approached my aunt. She was receiving Holy Communion and had taken the Host and dropped it on the marble floor. I would take the body of Christ out of my mouth and put it on the floor where I had been kneeling.
She was embarrassed and ashamed more for being scolded by a priest for my desecration of the body of Christ. I didn’t know anything about desecration, but I didn’t like the taste in my mouth. I was a child that didn’t like his food so he would feed it to the dog. I can see the priest use a white cloth probably a handkerchief to pick up the body of Christ off the tile floor. Don’t remember her words, as much as a sense of shame and guilt.
This was a pattern from her for me. She in different occasions seem to always apologizing for me. I was very sensitive to what was said to me and about me. but even at an early age I didn’t like anyone speaking for me. On the other hand there was a need to just be quiet.
Like sitting in church alone or when adults talked was the old adage: children should be seen and not heard. Many things I was told I took to heart and listened to my elders.
Since Dee was a native American and half-Black, she had a strong system of how children should be raised. I truly am so very touched because Dee directed me to God. Her words continue in my memory: You belong to God. Therefore, I sought Him first in the streets and then in the church, as I sat there looking at the candles flickering. I learned at age ten and over the next five or six years that my growth was inside God’s Holy Redeemer Chalice Church in DC.
My refuge, my sanctuary, my safe haven from the treacherous street of darkness. In the church, The Tabernacle that housed The Holy Body of Jesus Christ that would be transformed into Holy Communion. The votive candles burned with glasses of various colors of blue, red, and yellow lighting the votive candles which were on a stand with several rows of candles and the variety of colors bended together in unison. Often, I sat in the pew mesmerized by the colors, sitting there observing all the details of the mural in the dome of the ceiling.
Wonderful colors of light blue colors and art of heavenly figures adorned the ceiling.
Slowly, my eyes would gravitate to the altar where the floor was made of marble not just marble but there was smoothness and a glitter a shine similar to the floors at Lloyd’s job. He buffed and waxed those long hallways and the shine was like a mirror reflecting light.
This marble added to the light of God as the light of the stained glass windows covered the spaces between the walls as the sunlight reflected the art of the windows. The feeling of peace and the comfort my heart experienced. Slowly a heart that raced in the streets was quiet slowly almost still. Surely God would live here with the light shine of candles and serenity. God wouldn’t live out in the streets with all the trappings of inner-city life. Yes, God would live here with the light of His light. God’s quietness flowed into my essence, held me safely in the light of His presence. The vanilla colors of the walls kept the warmth, as the affirmation of God’s sunlight brightly illuminated His inner-sanctuary. This was to me Heaven here on earth. Alone in the majestic palace of the essence of God’s presence surrounding me, protecting me. Giving me life like the breath of God at my birth. I was not alone, but was His creation that fitted into this glorious sanctuary.
My eyes glued to the seven day candle of God. A candle made of beeswax to signify the significance of the Holy Father, as being here and present. I had His full attention, as I continued to be still and listening for His voice. Dee often stand sit there and be quiet. Perhaps, I reasoned that sitting there quietly God would speak. Dee often times would not speak so, listen for her to give directions. Dee was my guide to how to be and now its clear being quiet and listening and to be just be still.
Maybe in his wisdom she loved the line from the Bible: Be still and know I’m God. She never spoke Bible verses, but lived a life without them. She taught me about God and to be respectful to my elders. Dee said God exists and that was enough to know. She instilled in my innocence that God listened and I had no words for Him, but I had questions: Why am I here in this place alone? I belonged here with God.
The inner-city was indeed wasn’t a sanctuary, but rather darkness. Even in the daylight the darkness surrounded my thoughts, my emotions and my body. Only here in God’s Sanctuary was there a array of light following from every corner of the church as the stained glass couldn’t withhold the light and warmth of the sun. God truly was alive and real, but He had no verbal words and often like with Dee I had to just be still and wait for her to say something. Suddenly she spoke. God doesn’t like ugly. Referring to the behavior of someone. Most importantly was she said that I belonged to God. The sun was high in the sky and the Lord took my account of my life, and just as I came to this inner sanctuary it was time to return to the darkness of the streets and the violence and dangers and mostly children yelling and babies crying. God would be a retreat from it all and I would often return to this palace of His Heavenly Heart.
My serenity fades as I used my small frame young body of a ten year old child to open what to me were gates like surrounding a fortress. The light was brought and the eternal darkness would come like it always did in my neighborhood. Alone as I said earlier and its to be repeating because it’s what I experienced repeatedly: without Him and that aloneness was filled with terror and darkness and noise lots of noise. Gunshots and screaming and babies crying into the night as if they two felt the dead and darkness. I felt it each moment of my waking life. Crying myself to sleep in the darkness of my bed. Yes, I cried without ending and afraid my gasping for air would be heard. So, I held my breath as the tears soaked my pillow and as my heart ached.
Many years of soaked pillows and holding my breath as I continued to gasp for air.
The quietness returned when returning to Holy Redeemer Catholic Church and many other churches and chapels quietly sitting and listening for God to speak like Dee suddenly would do in my presence anticipating a word a vocal response, but I did experience was a profound sense of calm and peace filling my very essence and like all the other times it was very clear that and it was time to return to the world, but God had indeed spoken to my soul.
“GOD WANTED ME.”
God indeed had plans for me and a purpose and now His plans and purposes are mine deep in my soul.
“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, “plans to give you hope and a future.”
Our publication expresses great sorrow at the suffering in Gaza. We call for the return of the hostages, for an end to the siege, and for humanitarian aid to be allowed in for the starving people of the region. To support the people of Gaza, you may contribute to the Middle East Children’s Alliance.
Also, For the Writers, a manuscript coaching service, seeks to document what’s happening in the region by compiling first-person journalistic narratives from anyone of any background in Gaza. They’ll put the stories live on the site to create a digital archive to bear witness to history. Writing is invited from those in the region, of all faiths, races, or national backgrounds.
I am whipping up another modest lil issue of our journal, and just wanted to extend a hearty invitation in case you might have a poem or essay which you are looking for a great home for that could fit into small showcase we are assembling! The theme is ‘contrarians’, you could submit up to 10 haiku or senryu for consideration challenging assumptions and conventions of society, government, or English Language Haiku (especially! :D) for consideration. Please send work to jbphotography746@yahoo.com
Now, for our first August issue: Longings of the Heart.
Strider Marcus Jones probes the search for truth, memory, history, beauty and love. Abdijabborova Sabrina considers both the richness of world culture embedded in linguistic metaphors and the challenges diverse metaphors pose for cross-cultural communication. Mesfakus Salahin reflects on humanity’s journey through the ages and on what makes a civilization. Mahbub Alam wonders at the great variety of world climates and events: peace in some places, suffering in others. Rus Khomutoff poetizes about memory and nostalgia and living in multiple places in one’s mind. Christina Chin and Jerome Berglund observe smaller and larger ways living creatures navigate the world and assert their existence.
Mykyta Ryzhykh wonders how to stay human in the face of numbing devastation. Iduoze Abdulhafiz renders colonialism into the language of science fiction, with an alien protagonist pondering concepts of parasitism and existence. Bill Tope mourns the lives broken because of homophobia and transphobia and illustrates how far some people have to go into self-delusion to survive. James Tian lampoons hypocrites who demand that others care for land they themselves trample. Don Bormon shows respect to those who took to the streets for justice during a recent Bangladeshi student protest. An anonymous writer in the United States declares independence from the current presidential administration. Otabayeva Khusniya takes a fresh look at George Orwell’s classic Animal Farm with an eye to how well-intentioned revolutions can end up replicating old injustices if power imbalances remain.
Some contributors look into various realms of human creativity. Yongbo Ma reviews poet Deborah Bogen on her inspirations and journey as an artist. Duane Vorhees crafts burnished pieces concerning art and creation, particularly how one’s poems can embody and become their subjects. Patrick Sweeney’s one-line monostichs craft nuanced thoughts in single lines. Mauro Montakkyesi reviews Dr. Jernail Singh Anand’s sci-fi work of moral philosophy Epicasia. Karimova Navbaxar Mahmudjanovna encourages teaching children the art practice of applique to enhance skill and creativity and advocates for reforms in Uzbek preschool education and for the use of innovative technological approaches.Sevara Uzaqova considers the value of blended instruction for second-language English learners. Panoyeva Jasmina O’tkirovna and Sevara Uzaqova share methods for language learning that focus on real-life conversation and application as Muattar Tursunboyeva shares ways to teach language arts that inspire student creativity.
O’ktamova Shakxnozabonu outlines techniques for tooth implantation and post-treatment care. Ahmadova Sarvinoz discusses treatments for dental cavities. Boyqobilova Nargiz Aliamardonova relates the importance of uninterrupted sleep to human mental and physical health. Sabina Nafasova outlines theories about the value of incarceration in public safety and offender rehabilitation. Sattorova Mohinur Lazizovna explores methods for efficient water conservation in industrial processes. Faizullayeva discusses environmental issues concerning the atmosphere and advises on sustainable practices. G’ayratbek Toshmuxamedov outlines his own journey as an athlete and an academic. Sattorova Mokhinur highlights the importance of English language learning to young people’s ability to succeed in the modern world.
Muqimova Nazora celebrates the beauty and creativity of computer coding. Surayyo Nosirova highlights her inspirational experience at animation technology camp. Jasmine Rashidov considers modern communication technology and social media to ultimately be beneficial to young people’s cultural exchange and education, despite negative effects such as cyberbullying. Ismoilov Muhammadmirzo points out uses for technology for mapping and data processing functions in predictive ecology.
Maftuna Rustamova affirms the potential for young students and researchers to accomplish much in science. Muslima Olimova showcases the innovation and achievement of the students at the new Uzbek technology and career center Muslima Academy and the amazing potential of Uzbekistan’s students and digital entrepreneurs. Urazaliyeva Sarvinoz Saidakhmadovan shares a moving tale of a rural family determined to educate their children. Khumushbibi Kholikulova acknowledges the incredible potential of Uzbekistan’s young women to succeed in many different areas, as Olimova Sevara explores the many ways Eastern European women’s lives changed for better and worse with Soviet modernization.
Zumrad Sobirova sings the praises of her independent Uzbek homeland. Mahzuna Habibova urges her fellow Uzbek nationals to draw courage from patriotism and the glory of their country. Shahnoza Ilnar qizi Allayarova sings of the virtues of the Uzbek people and of the dignity of the nation. Maftuna Rustamova praises Ghulam Shomurod’s book The Value of the Great, which highlights important figures in Uzbek history and encourages young people to emulate them. Dilobar Maxmarejabova urges the world’s youth not to ignore or denigrate their own cultural heritages in this age of globalization. Ermatova Dilorom Baxodirjonovna describes and celebrates traditional Uzbek clothing. Xavier Womack reflects on how each of us learns from and contributes to the lives of others around us as Isaac Aju offers a letter of encouragement to the world’s emerging writers. One emerging writer, Farzona Hoshimova, shares her journey and literary accomplishments along with her gratitude to those who supported her along the way.
However, Chimezie Ihekuna speaks to the tension between optimism and dreams and reality and cynicism. Doug Hawley and Bill Tope craft a story together about an alcoholic humorously remaining in denial. Mirta Liliana Ramirez describes an unstable relationship with an unreliable lover or friend. J.J. Campbell’s poetry speaks to love, loss, the search for connection, and being beaten down by life.
Abigail George reflects on lingering grief for a lost lover and for parents who have drifted away from her. Chorshanbiyeva Gulnoza Mirzo expresses her love for her deceased father. Doug Holder offers a brief moment of tenderness to his wife as she grieves. Irma Kurti speaks to grief and humans’ tender hearts as Cherise Barasch evokes a Jewish ritual of remembrance.
Stephen Jarrell Williams crafts scenes of people navigating a troubled world together in small groups, finding strength and comfort from their faith. Michael Robinson also explores themes of faith, looking at how his awareness of physical mortality due to a health crisis reminds him of the spiritual concept of dying to selfishness and finding new life through Christ. Maja Milojkovic reflects on the themes of compassion, sorrow, and sacrifice in the relationship of Christ and the Virgin Mary. Eva Petropoulou Lianou puts out a humble plea for peace and compassion. Peace Ogunjemilua speculates on the meaning of hope and what keeps us believing – which may be as simple as a flower.
Surayyo Nosirova shares reasons why some young adults may struggle with mental health in college and offers hope and strategies for overcoming. Bibixanifa Jumanazarova praises the strength of women who rise above and shine through adversity. Priyanka Neogi urges readers to dig deep within themselves and work to reach their goals. Maria Miraglia shares her determination to love selflessly, even in a world where she can be betrayed. Taylor Dibbert speaks to making the most of everything, even English food!
Sayani Mukherjee speaks to appreciating the delicate beauty of craft and nature in urban areas. Brian Barbeito finds wonder in a single small snail shell as Gregory Wallace revels in the dazzling splendor of the sun, moon, planets, bees, and Milky Way. Su Yu showcases the work of elementary and teen writers, whose works mostly celebrate urban and rural nature.
Dr. Jernail S. Anand reflects on how the Earth will always be there for humans, even when other people or our deities fail us. Dante Parameseo, along with a humorous take on relationships, offers a poetic piece on a tamarisk tree that’s in touch with reality more elemental than human art or concepts of beauty. Vo Thi Nhu Mai encourages us to get out of our own way, to come to life with gentle spirits and appreciate the cherry blossoms. Finally, Wazed Abdullah finds joy in riding his bicycle.
Silent Battles: Navigating Mental Health Challenges and Loneliness During Student Years
Introduction
In today’s competitive and fast-paced world, student life is often romanticized as a time of personal growth, academic achievement, and social connection. However, beneath the surface lies a silent struggle faced by many students—one of mental pressure, emotional isolation, betrayal, and the absence of support. For some, these experiences define their entire educational journey. Yet, even amidst such darkness, it is possible to emerge stronger, wiser, and victorious.
This article explores the often-unspoken psychological burdens students endure—particularly mental health struggles, academic stress, feelings of loneliness, and emotional pain caused by those they once called friends. By shedding light on these hidden experiences, we aim to foster understanding, advocate for compassion, and remind every student walking this difficult path: your victory is coming.
The Weight of Expectations
Academic institutions are designed to challenge and educate. But with that mission often comes a pressure cooker of expectations. Students are expected to maintain high grades, be active in extracurricular activities, secure internships, develop social networks, and prepare for uncertain futures—all simultaneously. For many, especially first-year students or those from underprivileged backgrounds, this transition can be overwhelming.
The societal narrative often neglects the mental toll of such pressure. Constant comparison, fear of failure, and the need to prove oneself—whether to family, peers, or society—can slowly erode self-esteem and mental well-being. When grades become the only measure of worth, students begin to equate failure with personal inadequacy.
These internalized pressures frequently lead to anxiety, depression, and burnout. Yet, few students feel safe enough to speak about it. The stigma surrounding mental health, especially in cultures where vulnerability is mistaken for weakness, forces many to suffer in silence.
The Quiet Ache of Loneliness
Loneliness during student years is a complex and painful emotion. Even in classrooms filled with hundreds of students, one can feel profoundly alone. Moving to a new city, adjusting to a new environment, or failing to find ‘your people’ can leave students feeling isolated and misunderstood.
Social media often intensifies this loneliness. While it paints the illusion of connection, it can also create feelings of exclusion. Watching others post about friendships, outings, and achievements can foster a painful sense of “Why not me?”—leading students to question their worth and their ability to belong.
Loneliness does not only stem from being physically alone; it often arises from emotional disconnection. It is the feeling of not being seen, heard, or understood. It is sitting in a crowded library with tears threatening to fall, and no one noticing. It is wanting to share your burdens but having no one who truly listens. It is the ache of invisibility in the most formative years of life.
When Friends Become Strangers
One of the most disheartening experiences during student life is betrayal or emotional abandonment by friends. For many, university friendships are a source of comfort, laughter, and survival. But not all friendships last—and not all friends are genuine.
Some students experience bullying, exclusion, or emotional manipulation from those they once trusted. Others are left behind without explanation as their peers form new cliques or focus solely on their own goals. The realization that your support system has crumbled can be both devastating and disorienting.
This emotional abuse—whether subtle or overt—leaves scars. The fear of trusting again, the self-doubt born from rejection, and the inner voice whispering “you’re not enough” can become constant companions. When betrayal comes not from strangers but from those you once called friends, it hurts with a deeper, more personal sting.
The Absence of Support
Perhaps the most paralyzing aspect of student mental health struggles is the feeling that there’s no one to lean on. For students far from home, the physical distance from family can feel like emotional abandonment. Even those with parents nearby may feel emotionally misunderstood or invalidated.
Many institutions lack the resources or sensitivity to identify students who are silently suffering. Professors are focused on delivering content, not checking in on emotions. Friends may be too busy or too self-involved. And in a world where everyone seems to be “managing fine,” it can feel shameful to admit you’re not.
The absence of support is not just about who is missing; it’s about the haunting silence in times of crisis. It’s about breaking down in a dorm room at 2 a.m. with no one to call. It’s about realizing that while you have hundreds of contacts, you can’t name one person who would truly understand.
This lack of support amplifies the mental health crisis among students. Without emotional anchors, students spiral deeper into anxiety, depression, and hopelessness. And yet, despite the darkness, some keep walking.
The Turning Point: Choosing Yourself
Amid all this pain—academic pressure, loneliness, betrayal, and emotional neglect—there lies a quiet decision: the decision to choose yourself.
This is the moment when a student realizes that they are their own safest home. It may not come dramatically. It may arrive on a regular Tuesday after a failed quiz or during a solitary walk. But it is powerful.
Choosing yourself means seeking help even when it’s scary. It means setting boundaries with toxic people. It means crying, and still getting up the next day. It means talking to a counselor, writing your truth, or simply breathing deeply through the storm. It means recognizing that your value is not defined by grades, followers, or others’ opinions—but by your resilience.
This turning point is not loud. It is gentle and consistent. It is the beginning of healing.
Healing and Growth: A Slow But Beautiful Process
Healing from emotional wounds is not a linear journey. There will be good days and unbearable ones. Some mornings you will feel like yourself again; others, you’ll wonder if you ever will. But growth lies in persistence.
During the healing process, students begin to rediscover themselves. They find joy in small routines—making tea, reading books, listening to music, journaling. They begin to seek genuine connections, no longer chasing popularity but authenticity. They start valuing their mental peace more than validation.
And slowly, something remarkable happens. They become the very friend they needed. They develop empathy, strength, and emotional intelligence. They learn to identify red flags, to say no, and to choose environments that nurture them. Their scars become sources of wisdom, not shame.
The Inevitable Victory
The journey through emotional turmoil is not just about survival—it is about transformation. Many students who endure such pain emerge with an inner strength that no textbook could ever teach. They become leaders, mentors, healers, and creators. They carry stories of overcoming, of rising from the ashes, of winning the hardest battles—those within.
Victory does not always look like a gold medal or a perfect GPA. Sometimes it’s simply waking up and choosing to try again. Sometimes it’s smiling after days of tears. Sometimes it’s graduating despite depression, or finding real friends after years of loneliness. These victories are deeply personal—and deeply powerful.
In the end, you win. Not because the pain disappears, but because you become someone who refuses to give up. You win because you fought with grace, because you learned to love yourself, because you did not let darkness define your story.
Conclusion
Student life is often painted in bright colors, but many live it in shades of grey. Mental health struggles, academic pressure, emotional loneliness, and the absence of support can make it a painful chapter. Yet, within this pain lies the potential for profound transformation.
To every student fighting silent battles: your story matters. Your feelings are valid. And even if no one else applauds your quiet victories, know this—you are not alone, and you will rise. Keep walking, keep breathing, keep choosing yourself.
In the end, you do not just survive. You win.
Surayyo Nosirova Elyor qizi was born on May 13, 2006, in the Narpay district of the Samarkand region, Uzbekistan. From an early age, she showed a deep interest in literature, languages, and creative expression. Her passion for learning and writing became evident during her school years, where she actively participated in various academic, literary, and cultural activities. Currently, Surayyo is a first-year student at the Uzbekistan State University World Languages university, specializing in English Philology and Teaching. She is known for her strong academic performance and her dedication to mastering the English language. Her commitment to education extends beyond the classroom—she is the author of three published books: Heartfelt Thoughts, Voices in Writing, and Beyond Words: Mastering English. Each of these works reflects her insights into language learning, writing skills, and the emotional depth of student life.
In the history of mankind, there are great personalities – they guided the whole society through their life, activities, and heritage, inspiring hearts. Ghulam Shomurod’s book” The Value of the Great ” expresses at a high artistic level the duty to such great people – the need to understand and preserve their dignity.
The poems contained in the book are not limited to reflecting the lives of historical figures. Through them, the poet encourages each reader to reflect, reflect and realize the national self.The words of Ghulam Shomurod are not simple-they are painful, but hopeful; whiny, but patient. In each line we feel the heavy but honorable burden of greatness.
In his work, the poet speaks of the dignity of our great – grandfathers-Amir Temur, Alisher Navoi, Jaloliddin Manguberdi, Zahiriddin Muhammad Babur-as well as figures of the pride of the land, each of whom makes a deep observation about what role model for today’s younger generation, what lessons their life and work are rich in. It is this aspect that determines the uniqueness of the book.
” The dignity of the great ” is
Great heritage of Bukhara.
In the history of mankind, there are great personalities – they guided the whole society through their life, activities and heritage, inspiring hearts. Ghulam Shomurod’s book” The Value of the Great ” expresses at a high artistic level the duty to such great people – the need to understand and preserve their dignity.
The poems contained in the book are not limited to reflecting the lives of historical figures. Through them, the poet encourages each reader to reflect, reflect and realize the national self.The words of Ghulam Shomurod are not simple-they are painful, but hopeful; whiny, but patient. In each line we feel the heavy but honorable burden of greatness.
In his work, the poet speaks of the dignity of our great – grandfathers-Amir Temur, Alisher Navoi, Jaloliddin Manguberdi, Zahiriddin Muhammad Babur-as well as figures of the pride of the land, each of whom makes a deep observation about what role model for today’s younger generation, what lessons their life and work are rich in. It is this aspect that determines the uniqueness of the book.
”The Dignity of the Great ” is not just a collection of poems. This is a textbook of values, a lesson in history, a path to spiritual purification. The book encourages everyone to look back at their roots, recognize their identity, and most importantly – to honor the legacy of our great ancestors.
Obviously, this work can be an important tool in the education of young people, especially in the preservation and strengthening of our nationality in the era of today’s information attacks. The melodic, sermazmun lines of Ghulam Shomurad help young people to find answers to questions about what is greatness, what is value.
In place of the conclusion, it can be said that “The Value of the Great” is a spiritual – spiritual guide book that should be read today and put into practice tomorrow. Each stanza in it is significant in that there is a memory of the nation, confidence in the pride and prospects of our people.
Mauro Montakkyesi, the celebrated scholar and great literary luminary from Rome reviews Epicasia Vol 2.
Thanks to you dear friend for your kind words.
CRITICAL REVIEW OF
EPICASIA VOL. 2
by Dr. Jernail Singh Anand
Introduction: The Prophet of the Post-Epic World
If Epicasia Vol. 1 is a dive into the shadowy soulscapes of postmodernity, Epicasia Vol. 2 is that reverberating thunderclap of an echo, sounding through the existential wastelands of a world where oracles have been replaced by algorithms and morality by mechanization. The indefatigable bard, the radical recorder of spiritual decay, the fearless Jernail Singh Anand brings forth this second epic entwined into twelve epics.
The book isn’t just a work of literature; it’s a mythopoetic manifesto — a confrontation with civilization in all its guises, posing in the form of an epic.
Form and Structure:
The Esoteric Mythos, Satire, Prophetic Voice and Alchemy
From Geet: The Unsung Song of Eternity to The Canterbury Tales, this book is a polyphonic symphony of philosophical dirges, existential satire, and moral cosmology. Anand’s formalism still radiates unconventional power — there are cantos and choruses, soliloquies and satanic stage directions, not to mention sprawling mythological allusions.
The result is not a linear narrative, but a circular explosion of meanings. The structure is cathedral-like: every poem an altar, every stanza a cracked stained glass through which light and darkness simultaneously stream.
Central Themes:
The Banquet of Chaos and the Starvation of Ethics
Post-Edenic Fall and Ontological Anguish
In Geet and beyond, the poetic subject mourns the loss not just of paradise, but of a why. The Adamic lament—“Why was I born?”—saturates the text with ontological exhaustion. Anand dramatizes the Fall not as a single sin but as a recursive error loop embedded in civilization’s DNA.
Satire of Institutions
Religion becomes a showroom of noise. Education, a “Manchester of Non-sense.” Marriage, a Faustian contract disguised in lace. Anand skewers these systems without mercy, not from cynicism but from ethical urgency. The grotesque parodies of The Satanic Guidemap and the Public Square Executions leave the reader appalled and awed in equal measure.
Love, Lust, and the Execution of the Human Heart
In Anand’s universe, Love is not merely spurned — it is guillotined in public. They dress themselves as saints and march in Satan’s infernal parade as Lust, Greed and Doublespeak! Anand’s upending of virtue isn’t just sensationalist, it is his poetic vehicle to diagnose our cultural autoimmune failure.
Philosophy and the Disfigured Logos
Socrates is dragged in chains. Shakespeare becomes a weapon. Plato is marked as dangerous. Anand reclaims them and is then relatable witness to their fall in the streets of corrupted modernity.
He mourns not just lost philosophers, but a lost philosophia perennis—a wisdom tradition defiled by pragmatism and profit.
Stylistic Register:
Sermon, Satire, Scripture, and Song
Anand’s language oscillates between scriptural gravitas and sardonic theatre.
He will channel the Gita in one breath, and call for Marlowe and Orwell in the next. It’s theatrical without being histrionic, moralistic without being tendentious. The rhythm is deliberately uneven: a literary jazz score that mirrors the very chaos it laments.
Innovation: The Dramatic Epic Reborn
Perhaps the most radical feature of Epicasia Vol. 2 is its reclamation of the dramatic epic. Anand does not merely narrate—he stages. Faustus is reborn as a demonic everyman. Satan organizes political conferences. Archangels deliver monologues worthy of dystopian theatre. The result is a hybrid form that redefines what epic poetry can do in the twenty-first century: not just sing of heroes, but dissect their disfigurement.
Comparative Legacy: Anand Among Giants
Where Homer chants the nobility of war, Anand reveals the banality of evil. Where Milton pities the Fall, Anand mocks it, autopsies it, and sets it ablaze. He is closer to Dante in moral scope but more ferocious, less forgiving.
Blanchot’s thought, with its endless horizon of emptied language, comes to mind, as does Bataille and Deleuze; and further back one can hear Blake and Nietzsche.
No modern poet — maybe no poet, period — has more consistently maintained the epic voice over twelve bloated works with such integrity and critical mass. He is not simply reporting on the fall of man; rather, he is erecting a new monument over its ruins with warnings and whispered prayers etched into stone.
Conclusion: Epicasia as Ethical Wake-Up Call
Epicasia Vol. 2 is a catastrophic symphony—an opera of the soul in a world that has replaced sacred rites with credit scores and conscience with convenience. Dr. Jernail Singh Anand offers no easy redemption, but he does offer clarity. And in an age addicted to spectacle, clarity itself is a revolution.
This book should be read not as a sequel, but as a counter-testament: the last light before the temple gates are shut. In Anand, we meet the last epicist standing—a man who will not stop singing, even as the world forgets how to listen.
Anand The Last Lightkeeper
Dr. Jernail S. Anand
In the quiver and digital dust of the age, where empires glitch and anthems fade, stands the Anand, lone upon the ruins’ crest,
a prophet unbent, a spirit unpressed.
His poems—cathedrals crumbled but full with heaven, carved with laughter, sorrow, and backbone, Geet rises as from a phoenix choir, songs unsongs, yet set afire.
He does not talk in sandals but seismic verse, drags Socrates through traffic’s curse, unmasks the Devil in a statesman’s dress, Angels are falling and oracles are a mess.
He cries to Marlowe, Plato, Blake, not for solace, but for the stake. A mythmaker in post-epic frock, his dirges for humanity’s sad sack.
Marriage to him becomes the Faustian mask, education—a mill of empty bands, and love—is guillotined on the marble stand, his pen, a scalpel. His muse, our rage.
A stanza, light cracking glass, a canto, a sermon in easeful night, he sings not of victories but of fall, of dimming logos, of moral crawl.
Oh Anand! Lost flame’s guard, weeps Dante, hides his Milton name. You roar where silence raised the beast, and feast on truth when lies have feast.
Then sing the stanza, chaos let hear,— Anand is the place where all disappear. Not to grieve, but to re-create the song, one last epic, fierce and long.
Shahzoda Ilnar qizi Allayarova was born on May 16, 2013, in Oqtosh city, Narpay district, Samarkand region, Uzbekistan. She is currently a 5th-grade student (Class 5B) at School No. 55 in Oqtosh. Her literary works are regularly published in regional and national newspapers such as “Navqiron Narpay”, “Tong Yulduzi”, and “Bekajon”.
She won second place in the national competitions “Human Rights Through the Eyes of Children” organized by “Tong Yulduzi”, and “Protector of the Green Space” by “G’uncha” magazine. In 2023, she became a laureate and winner of the national “Kamalak Yulduzlari” Children’s Creativity Festival.
Her poems have also been featured in various anthologies including “Scent of Verses”, “A Drop from the Ocean”, “Magic of Words”, “The Creators I Seek”, “Beloved of My Nation”, “Joys of My Life”, “Young Talents”, “Masters of the Magic Pen”, “Toward My Goals”, as well as the Turkish-language anthology “Geleceğin Liderleri” (“Leaders of the Future”) and the English-language “Girls Nation”. Additionally, her works have appeared in international publications such as “Raven Gage” journal and “KENYA TIMES” newspaper.
