Essay from Dilafruz Muhammadjonova

Young Central Asian woman with long dark hair, brown eyes, and a white ruffled blouse and black skirt standing next to a flag holding up a medal.

BEKHBUDIY: CALL OF ONE HEART, ONE IDEA, ONE CENTURY

“Turon, what is your state, vying with the stars?
Thousands of separate heads—Freedom, why not come?
Find your own opportunity—Nation, why not rise?
Time will not wait. Will the heart not beat?
It is a companion to fear… Should I live like this?
Your death is nigh.”
(Najmiddin Ermatov)


Uzbekistan, my radiant land, the home of the golden cradle generation where the sun sleeps in your veranda when you sing a “alla”, where white “to’n and “adras” robes suit well, adorned with silk belts; the land of Mahmudkhoja Bekhbudiy, Fitrat, and Chulpan; a bright nation where faith and Islam are perpetual companions! My dearest sun-filled land, an oasis where the architect of the Taj
Mahal, the engineer of the Nile, and the Imam Bukhariys originated; where spring whispers in winter, and gold blossoms in the soil! My heavenly nation, a pearl of the East, that has captured the morning shimmer of the sun in its orbits, a stellar land that has made both the sun and the stars fall in love with it!


My chest is full of pride that the great Turkistan enlighteners, who endured all hardships for the happiness and prosperity of this country and sacrificed their lives to lead the homeland from darkness to light, are my ancestors. The feeling and glorification of the homeland are inherent in the heart of every person who grew up on the soil of Mulki Turon. When talking about the brave sons ready to give their lives for their country, the difficult lives of our Venerable Jadids, who raised them in the spirit of the homeland, and simultaneously the dawn suns who opened the eyes of our nation, serve as an example for everyone.


“If we, the Turanians, spend the money we use for weddings and funerals on the path of science and religion, we will soon progress like the Europeans, and both we and our religion will gain prestige and development. If we continue in our current state, we will have nothing but humiliation and misery in religion and the world.”


The people were in a deep sleep of negligence. Yes, these were the words of Bekhbudiy spoken at a time when other intellectuals were bursting forth from within, like a volcano, with the cry of “freedom”… The more we study the history, life, and activities of these national luminaries, the more they remain alive, and the unfulfilled desires scratching a corner of our hearts are reincarnated. They are
rivers that have overflowed their banks and flowed backwards, untamable stallions restless in chains, the frothing blood of the nation, the life of enlightenment that has reached the throat in the face of ignorance. The Jadids are the new echo of the questions sought from the essence of the homeland, the tears that flowed behind the eyes of Mother Turkestan, whose heart was filled with lamentation; they are the very identity of this country, the root veins of New Uzbekistan.

They were lessons incarnate, brought into the world to explain the value of the gift called life, the honor and respect of a human being, and what it means to be worthy of one’s nation and homeland. The goal of these innovators, who did not fit into the despotic system and had their own new world and ideology, was the noble pursuit
of opening the nation’s eyes, achieving the days of progress for the people of Turkestan, reaching the world through educated national cadres, and building a free civil society on the foundation of enlightenment and culture.

Striving to reform and renew a backward country, its education system, Bekhbudiy despaired with the “needs of the nation” in his heart, saying, “This path leads to a bad end; we must learn and teach,” and never lost hope for our present day until his
execution.

Have you seen the softly rustling, burning candles in the dark night? They flicker faintly, continuously and orderly spreading light. This light has the power to illuminate the entire night. Mahmudkhoja Bekhbudiy was such a candle of light. He selflessly sacrificed himself, like a shieldless victim, to return the sun to the dark, unattended heart of a slumbering nation. It was exactly Behbudiy who launched the wingless birds of the darkness of illiteracy into the sky of science,
“drowned” the thirsty fish in the ocean of endless books, and acted as the rider for the unsaddled horses.

Mahmudkhoja dreamed of seeing the Uzbek people on equal footing with developed nations, and he stood out among the mature Jadids of the period of intellectual awakening with his worldview and activities. In his view, the school alone was not enough for enlightenment. It was necessary to keep up with the times and world events, to be aware of the condition, and daily life, of the nation and homeland. Therefore, society needed a mirror in which it could see both its ugliness and its beauty. This need and necessity led Bekhbudiy to theater and the press.


“Padarkush” came into existence during this period. The author called this work a “national tragedy,” and it tells the story of ignorance and folly, where an uneducated child falls into corrupt ways and kills his own parents. Despite its small size, the lesson to be learned from it is extremely important. The life path and scientific and social activities of this enlightener, who tried his best to light the candle of the future in people’s hearts, are an endless example for us, as are his works and instructive ideas.


In particular, there is a lesson in Behbudiy’s attitude towards world phenomena. His discretion in distinguishing between friend and foe is immaculate. The evidence he provided to prove his views is strong. The weights of his balance scale are not hollow inside. That is why dozens of names of Eastern scholars and titles of works appear in the content of his articles. Since he knew Russian perfectly, he
referred to Russian books and the ideas of Russian scientists. There is great pain, a great dream, and meaning embodied in the communication, awareness, and cry of His Holiness Bekhbudiy with world civilization, world scientists, and world-famous books. For instance, in his article “Islahi Tahsil” (Reform of Education), he
wrote, “We should send students to Egypt to systematically study general religious and Arabic literature and learn the methods of education there.” In this regard, he freely expressed his recommendation.


Bekhbudiy is the star that defines the nation’s new path! Bekhbudiy is the gazelle staring into the far distance, trying to save its herd from predators! Bekhbudiy is the rope that fell into the hands of executioners and is preventing the innocent from perishing! Bekhbudiy is the compassionate soul worried about the lifeless, impoverished people, astonished by the populace that has even forgotten religion! Bekhbudiy is the love whose heart is burning while looking at those smiling as they die! Bekhbudiy is the tightrope walker carefully passing the pearl of knowledge from one heart to another above those silently watching! What an honor that Mahmudkhoja was born like the sun, with such dedication fixed in his
body and soul.


Indeed, the Jadids were not ordinary people. They opened new method schools and created textbooks. They enriched our language with writing and linguistic units. They worked tirelessly, like swallows trying to awaken the sleep in people’s eyes. They went from village to village, knocking on doors saying, “We have brought knowledge, please accept it.” The pen was their sword, every letter put on
paper served them like a soldier. They published newspapers and magazines, wanting to awaken the nation with only one thing—the truth. Prison chains, years of exile, and even the executioner’s sword could not stop them. All of them sacrificed their lives on the path of their sweet dreams. Is there a greater, more magnificent deed than this for a nation?

True, this enlightenment movement, which urged the future towards light and stirred Turkestan, encountered great obstacles, was erased from the pages of history, the national leaders were branded as
“nationalists,” and the bright faces were blackened. However, neither chained legs nor bound hands could turn the Jadids, who have taken an eternal place in the consciousness of the young generation, away from the path of enlightenment. The secret of eternity lies precisely in this commitment and self-sacrifice.

“Oh Turkistan, did you manage to preserve the second pearls emerging from the shells? Did you not accept with a torn and patched shroud those who honored you with poems that sang of your love in every line? Oh Turkistan, did you stand by silently when the riders galloping in the field of literature were whipped on the head? Did you not share sustenance from your fields and dastarkhans, becoming a ready meal for those who trampled your sacred soil? Oh Turkistan, did you ever throw the stones that muddled the water back at them? Even if evil deeds and the most sordid events occurred in your past, could you loudly proclaim the thousands of treasures
of enlightenment, the priceless jewels of knowledge within your chest?

Turkistan, every dream of yours has a unique secret, every night of yours is adorned with divine inspiration. Turkistan, we bow to every wind of yours, we cherish every flower of yours. We will shine as stars in your sky, we will pay our debts as children on your lands, we will be the generation that preserves your power!


In conclusion, our ancestors, who dreamed of seeing their colonized homeland among the world’s developed countries by fighting against ignorance and defending the nation’s honor, have achieved their goals today. Now, we, the owners of today, have a strong duty not to forget that we must realize the centuries-old dreams of our ancestors, preserve the land where peace reigns, and
make the youth understand whose descendants we are through our aspirations, participation in reforms, and initiatives.

Indeed, the future of New Uzbekistan is a glorious responsibility entrusted to our shoulders. As Bekhbudiy emphasized: “Oh
zealous youth! The time is yours. Unite with each other, build societies, and serve the nation’s cause.”

Mukhammadjonova Dilafruz was born in Andijan, Uzbekistan. She is 19 years old. She is a second year student of the National pedagogical university of Uzbekistan. She gained a lot of achievements. For instance, a national certificate from Mother tongue and literature, again from English and Turkish. She owns more projects in her study. 

Poetry from Gustavo Gac-Artigas 

Young white woman with curly blonde hair, blue eyes, and a tank top seated on a couch.

In Memory of Renee Nicole Good 

In memoriam 

Gustavo Gac-Artigas 

Traducción al inglés: Priscilla Gac-Artigas

Hay días en que me avergüenzo de ser hombre, escribí alguna vez

hay días en que me avergüenzo de que el tiempo pareciera detenerse en la infamia

en el miedo 

en el dolor

en la prepotencia

Hay días en que la jauría fue soltada para cazar niños morenos

ay qué haremos

ay qué haremos

y pobre de aquel, 

de aquella 

que intente detener la cacería

las balas de ICE las dirige la ideología

más allá de la nacionalidad

más allá del color de la piel

más allá de la razón humana

las dirige la rabia

el odio

la impunidad

el desprecio por el otro ser humano

ay qué haremos

ay qué haremos

la lista crece

el manto del poder

de la mentira

protege al odio

a la mano asesina

Hay días en que me avergüenzo de ser hombre 

hoy es uno de ellos

in memoriam de Renee Nicole Good

¿in memoriam?

¡NO!

en grito 

para que nunca más

nunca más

callemos frente a las bestias

para que el miedo no nos invada

para que el odio no nos gobierne

no callaremos

enfrentaremos al chacal

eso haremos

eso haremos

Translation by Priscilla Gac-Artigas

….

In Memoriam

There are days when I am ashamed of being a man, I once wrote

there are days when I am ashamed

that time seems to stand still

in infamy

in fear

in pain

in arrogance

There are days when the pack is unleashed

to hunt brown children

oh what shall we do

oh what shall we do

and woe to the one,

to the one

who tries to stop the hunt

ICE bullets are guided by ideology

beyond nationality

beyond skin color

beyond human reason

they are guided by rage

hatred

impunity

contempt for the other human being

oh what shall we do

oh what shall we do

the list keeps growing

the mantle of power

of lies

protects hatred

the murderous hand

There are days when I am ashamed of being a man

today is one of them

in memory of Renee Nicole Good

in memory?

NO!

a cry

so that never again

never again

we remain silent before the beasts

so that fear does not invade us

so that hatred does not rule us

we will not be silent

we will face the jackal

that is what we will do

that is what we will do

..

Poetry from J.J. Campbell

Middle aged white man with a beard standing in a bedroom with posters on the walls
J.J. Campbell

——————————————————————————

up from the floor

i wanna leave

most of my

memories

in the ocean,

somewhere away

from the plastic

in tedious moments,

i bite my nails and

wonder why i didn’t

die when i was young

this woman swears

she loves me

won’t give me her

address or any hope

that this is something

more than real

we’ll probably be

married in a year

why does all the

crazy shit with death

happen in minnesota

you try helping your

disabled mother up

from the floor with

a bad back

these are the nights

drugs were invented

for

piss stained pants

in the wash

a night nurse telling

war stories in the

living room

scribbling madness

on paper is child’s

play

—————————————————-

the latest year of death

a few snowflakes

in the cold sunshine

the last few days of

the latest year of death

can masturbation cause

carpal tunnel

four out of five dentists

agree

of course, some beautiful

woman wants to save you

as long as you are willing

to become the man she

changes you into

why resist, where has this

perfect creature got you

still think toiling away

in obscurity is noble,

makes you cool or

something even better

not often someone brags

about being a better piece

of shit

sure, there may be gold

in that turd but no one

ever wants to give it

a taste

rejoice, the end is near

a new beginning if you

truly want it to be

but that is just some

mumbo jumbo out of

some self help book

written long before you

were a stain in the sheets

———————————————-

die alone

pretend we are

the only souls

left

your soft skin

resting on what

is left of me

seventeen years

is one hell of

a gap

but you brighten

this darkness

let me know

that the light

isn’t always

a train

one day it will

be your chance

to prove to the

world you were

always what i

was missing

it’s not a test

but a plea for

help

not that i’m

afraid to die

alone

just don’t

want to

that subtle difference

doesn’t mean shit to

many, but hopefully

just enough to whom

it is meant for

——————————————————–

i mumbled something

a strapless neon dress

and all the reasons i

never liked going to

strip clubs

sitting at the bar,

just drinking

the bartender asked

what i was looking

for tonight

i mumbled something

i’ll never find here

she realized it was

a lost cause

never got a lap dance

though i did buy my

buddy one

he liked this smoking

hot black chick and i

never minded someone

else having a good time

looking back on it

i still can’t figure out

how these twenty plus

years have flown by

so damn fast

the tornado hit that

strip club years ago

i suppose they had

different dancers

by then

——————————————————

nothing but sunday drivers

an uncomfortable

silence in the rain

a two lane road

in the sticks

of course, nothing

but sunday drivers

on a thursday

afternoon

it’s a lonely glass

of scotch and the

memory of an old

lover that died

years ago

your life has become

the lyrics of the songs

you grew up on

too bad the songs

about death are the

only ones you can

remember all the

lyrics to

the subtle embrace

of your last hope

she has no clue to

the misery she has

stepped into

and while that baggage

will never be hers to

deal with

she will gladly accept

the challenge

accept what little

faith is still left

J.J. Campbell (1976 – ?) is trapped in suburbia, sadly accepting his fate. He’s been widely published over the last 30 years, most recently at Night Owl Narrative, Disturb the Universe Magazine, The Beatnik Cowboy, Crossroads Magazine and The Rye Whiskey Review. His latest book, to live your dreams, has been published by Whiskey City Press and is available on Amazon.com (please buy a copy or two). He still has his blog, although taking care of his disabled mother takes up the majority of his time. (https://evildelights.blogspot.com)

Poetry from Priyanka Neogi

Young South Asian woman in a crown, red dress, and pageant sash

Silence 

The heart to heart talks silently. 

A feverish morning waiting for the evening, 

Whispering, fish-colored gasps, running and laughing, 

The new bud on the new path is everyone’s eye. 

The talk goes on saying that you should be quiet. 

Time will give some answers. 

To retreat silently to the last position, 

To feel the attitude of behavior and continue work. 

In the composition of silent situations & words, 

without words are expressed in the sea, 

Illusory imagination floats in the world of the mind. 

Magh comes to Paush to compose sentences. 

The witness remains in the quiet room of the understanding mind. 

Answers play a silent role in the passage of time. 

Reflection takes place in silent discourse as causality. 

Insistence comes to the new creator, 

providing words without words, 

Silence wins in the dawn.

Short biography: Amb. Dr. Priyanka Neogi from Coochbehar. She is an administrative Controller of United Nations PAF, librarian, CEO of Lio Messi International Property & Land Consultancy, international literacy worker, sports & peace promoter, dancer, singer, reciter, live telecaster, writer, editor, researcher, literary journalist, host, beauty queen, international coordinator of the Vijay Mission of Community Welfare Foundation of India.

Essay from Dr. Jernail S. Anand

Older South Asian man with a beard, a deep burgundy turban, coat and suit and reading glasses and red bowtie seated in a chair.
Dr. Jernail S. Anand

THE NEO-MORALITIES AND POSTMODERN TIMES

Dr. Jernail Singh Anand

“Moral values reflect the mores of a society, such as goodness,
fairness, truth etc. as in the past. Can we apply the values of the past, which no longer govern our modern society, to castigate the forward looking people of our society?”

When we mention the word ‘moral’, the ideas of goodness, honesty, fairness and righteousness, well up in our mind. These were the ideals which moved our past generations. But for the great men of
today, these words are like moral tortures. Can we call their behaviour immoral if they are just following the neo-morality of
our times which has come to stay in society?

Let us go back a bit to the root of the word ‘moral’. It has a historical connection with ‘mores’. We get moral from the Latin word ‘moralis’ which is drawn from ‘mos’ meaning ‘custom’ or ‘habit’. The derivation of ‘moral’ from ‘mores’ shows that moral values are shaped by cultural and social norms of a society. Historically, many societies have valued honesty, kindness and fairness which were reflected
in their value system. As mores evolve over time, it is natural the concept of moral values will also change.

Presently, it is thought that morality stands for goodness, fairness, honesty, and a value-based living style. In this way, immoral constitutes anything that violates the moral code of a society, the ‘mores’ which form the ‘custom’ base of a social set up. The society in which we are living, it is very difficult to say it is based on old
moral principles. When we indict this society, we are using the moral yardstick which belongs to the social mores of times which have gone by.

What are the ‘mores’ of this society? What are its ‘customs’ and what the ‘habits of the people? In other words, what type of moral culture we have created that sustains our society? If we cast a neutral look, we will be shocked to discover that ‘good’, ‘fairness’, ‘honesty’ are absconding. In their place, the ‘mores’ of our society include ‘dishonesty’ ‘unfair behaviour’ and ‘corruption’. If we go by the
formation of the word ‘moral’, then ‘these’ are the mores from which we can deduce moral values of these times.

It is a painful revelation that according to this phenomena, corruption, unfairness, dishonesty, ‘tam sam dand bhed’ are the values which create the moral stratosphere of our society. Just as in the past, the law would take care of the people who did not believe in truth and honesty, they were put behind the bars; applying the same yardstick, people who violate the canons of the post-modern society, those who do not believe in hatred, dishonesty, untruth, falsehood, lies, and unfair conduct, – are ‘dangerous’ elements, not fit to live in this
society, because they do not accept and honour its moral values. So, law will take care of such people, even if they are righteous, and their conduct is good.

The basics of good conduct in this evolved society are: you should have a compatible mind set, compromising nature, adjustable
attitude, fear God and visit shrines ostensibly, but go for evil whenever it helps you. There is nothing bad if you get
your work done with the help of money. If you grab the wealth of another person, nobody can drag you to a court of law,
because it is the morally accepted value of the society in which the apex people believe and practise.

Religion has a great role to play in the evolved set up. It blesses the people who make great offerings. From where the money comes, it is none of their business. Those who stick their head out in the name
of honesty, truth and goodness, they stand to lose it. It should not be forgotten that a religion flourishes on the strength of state
power. When state power is involved, everything is passe.

In a nutshell, the truthful, fair and the honest of past times are ‘unsocial elements’ for the postmodern society who spread immortality. The moral values of the postmodern society stand for ‘tam sam dand bhed’. Man is larger than society, do whatever you can to accumulate wealth and enjoy it the way you like. It is a free
society, where even religion and law have to lionize the style of living of the rich people and label it as morally upright. Only those films are hit which violate all sacred norms upheld by the bygone era.

While the front liners of the society believe in the neo-moralities, the poor masses are given the dose of ‘satay kathas’ from holy scriptures. There is a clash of two value systems in the name of morality. This is because major portions of society are kept
confused in the old times, while the front-liners of modern society have accepted the neo-morality of the post-modern times.

Essay from Qurolboyeva Shoxista Olimboy qizi

THE INTERCONNECTION OF FAMILY AND SOCIETY IN UZBEKISTAN


Abu Rayhan Beruni Urgench State University
Faculty of Socio-Economic Sciences
Field of Study: Jurisprudence
Group: 251
Student: Qurolboyeva Shoxista Olimboy qizi
Email: qurolboyevashoxistaa@gmail.com


ABSTRACT
This article analyzes the essence of the close and inseparable relationship between family and society in Uzbekistan, as well as its social, spiritual, and legal foundations.


Keywords: Family, society, values, sacred institution, family relations, social institution, mahalla.


INTRODUCTION
The family is the fundamental unit of society and a sacred institution. In the main document that drives the life of the country — the Constitution — special emphasis is placed on the family. The Constitution states that the family is the basic unit of society and that every family is under the protection of the state. The role of the family is extremely important in enhancing the spirituality of any state and presenting it to the world, because a person’s pure emotions and human qualities are formed and embodied within the family.


As the most important social institution of society, the family plays a significant role in human development and in the formation of national values. The research highlights the role of state policy and the mahalla institution in ensuring family stability, raising young people as well-rounded individuals, and strengthening social stability. Historically, the nature of family and marriage relations, as well as the attitudes of scholars and thinkers toward these values, have been considered highly important and of great practical significance.


The development of the system of family relations has resulted in a decrease in the number of people entering into marriage and in the establishment of stricter rules for choosing a marriage partner. One of the oldest forms of social organization in human history is the clan or tribe, which originated from a single maternal lineage and united all people descended from a matriarchal line. Essentially, such a clan
represented a matriarchal family that connected all generations descended from the mother. One surviving example of this form is the Russian “matryoshka” doll, which symbolizes the interconnected descent of maternal generations.


A historical approach to family and marriage issues is reflected in the work “Mother Right” by the Swiss scholar J. Bachofen. In addition, the American researcher L. Morgan also expressed evolutionary views on the family in his works, particularly in the book “Ancient Society.” These works demonstrate the idea that the family institution is directly connected with social development, and that the improvement of socio-economic relations in society depends on the stability of the family. It is also emphasized that these changes historically occurred in connection with relations between representatives of different genders.


Family relations are also enshrined in the Constitution and constitute a separate chapter. “The family is the basic unit of society and is under the protection of society and the state. Marriage is based on the traditional family values of the people of Uzbekistan, the voluntary consent of those entering into marriage, and their equality of rights. The state creates social, economic, legal, and other conditions for the full development of the family.” The phrase “the family is the basic unit of society” means that the foundation of
every society is the family. Without the family, neither society nor the nation can exist stably.

Therefore, the Constitution ensures the protection of the family by the state and society, meaning that the state creates conditions for strengthening families. Legal, social, and economic support for families includes benefits for women with children, protection of women, and housing programs for young families. The voluntary nature of marriage — the fact that no one can be forced to marry, and that every man and woman enters into marriage only with their own consent — is an important sign of respect for human rights
and dignity. Society consists of relatively independent but interconnected systems, often referred to in science as subsystems.

These include economic (relations in the process of material production), social (relations between social groups, strata, and classes), political (state institutions and the activities of political parties), and spiritual (moral, religious, cultural, philosophical, and scientific systems). All of these are complex phenomena that, in turn, consist of smaller and more dynamic elements.


As one of the main elements of society, the individual participates in social life as a member of various communities. In this sense, society emerges as a “community of communities.” Society can be analyzed
from different perspectives.

For example, history as a discipline is divided into various specific histories: the history of a particular country, the history of each science, the history of discoveries, the history of regions and cities within a country, the history of socio-political movements and parties, as well as the history of each society and family. Each of these reflects the chronological sequence of events experienced by its object from its emergence to the present.


Society creates all the necessary conditions for the family through education, healthcare, employment, and social protection systems, ensuring family well-being. In turn, the family contributes to social development by raising healthy, morally mature, and patriotic children. Family and society are inseparable concepts.
They complement, strengthen, and develop each other. Harmony, kindness, and mutual respect within each family ensure peace and stability throughout society. Therefore, strengthening the family and
creating a healthy environment within it is one of the most important tasks of society.


CONCLUSION
The role and importance of the family in society are invaluable. A person’s upbringing, values, and worldview are formed first and foremost within the family. As the family is, so is society. If families are strong, caring, and spiritually rich, this positively influences social stability and development. The importance of the family in society is immense because it prepares individuals for social life. Qualities such as diligence, honesty, and patriotism are instilled in children primarily within the family. For this reason, family issues occupy a special place in state policy.


REFERENCES

  1. Constitution of the Republic of Uzbekistan (2023)
  2. Vasila Karimova, Family Psychology
  3. Personality and Society (Methodological guide for AL and KNK students), 201

Poetry from Sungrue Han

Older middle aged East Asian woman in a green skirt and a white top standing in front of a building with large windows and bushes and chairs.

In memory of Renee Nicole Good, Poet, By Sungrue Han, Korea

……

미국 시인 르네 니콜 굿(Renee Nicole Good)의 명복을 빕니다. 1월 7일 미니애폴리스에서 미국 이민 관세청(ICE) 요원에 의해 살해당한 르네 니콜 굿(37세)은 2020년 “미국 시인 아카데미 상”을 수상한 시인이다.

“시인은 죽지 않는다. 시인들은 그들의 시를 통해 영원히 산다. 시인의 말은 천사가 되어 높이 날아오른다.” 

-고인의 시 1편(일부)을 감상한다-

May the soul of American poet Renee Nicole Good rest in peace. Renee Nicole Good, who was murdered by U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) agents in Minneapolis on January 7th, was the recipient of the 2020 Academy of American Poets Award.

“Poets never die. They live forever through their poetry. Their words soar like angels.”

-Appreciate one of the deceased’s poems (excerpt)-

——————————–

“태아 돼지 해부 배우기에 대하여”

르네 니콜 굿

나는 내 흔들의자를 되찾고 싶다,

자기중심적인 석양을,

그리고 매미 소리에서 따온 3행시와 바퀴벌레의 털북숭이 다리에서 따온 5음보 같은 해안 정글의 소리를.

나는 중고품 가게에 성경책을 기증했다.

(비닐 쓰레기봉투에 넣고 산성 히말라야 소금 램프로 뭉개버렸다.

세례 후 성경, 광신도들의 두툼한 손에서 주워온 성경,

단순화되고 읽기 쉬운, 기생적인 종류의 성경들):

광택이 나는 생물학 교과서 그림의 매끈한 고무 냄새가 더 기억난다. 그것들은 내 콧속 털을 태웠다.

그리고 내 손바닥에 붙어있는 소금과 잉크.

새벽 두시 사십오분에 초승달 아래서 공부하고 반복한다.

리보솜

내 플라스마

유산균

스탬브레

길을 지울 때까지 반복하고 스크립을 했고 내가 더 이상 지적할 수 없는 곳에 갇혔다, 아마도

내 직감—

아마도 내 췌장과 결장 사이에 있는, 내 영혼의 큰 흐름일지도 모른다.

내가 이제 모든 것을 줄이는 규칙이다. 단단한 가장자리에서 그리고 지식으로 부터

그녀는 열이 나는 이마에 수건을 두르고 앉아있곤 했다.

둘 다 그냥 놔둬도 될까? 

이 변덕스러운 믿음과 이 대학 과학이 교실 뒤에서 나를 부추기고 있다.

성경, 쿠란, 바가바드 기타가 예전 엄마처럼 긴 머리를 귀 뒤로 넘기고 입으로 숨 쉬는 것을 믿을 수가 없다.

인생은 단순하다.

난소와 정액

그리고 그들이 어디에 위치해 있을까?

그리고 모든 것은 거기서 죽는다.

—————–

“On Learning to Dissect Fetal Pigs,” 

by Renee Nicole Good

i want back my rocking chairs,

solipsist sunsets,

& coastal jungle sounds that are tercets from cicadas and pentameter from the hairy legs of

cockroaches.

i’ve donated bibles to thrift stores

(mashed them in plastic trash bags with an acidic himalayan salt lamp—

the post-baptism bibles, the ones plucked from street corners from the meaty hands of zealots, the

dumbed-down, easy-to-read, parasitic kind):

remember more the slick rubber smell of high gloss biology textbook pictures; they burned the hairs

inside my nostrils,

& salt & ink that rubbed off on my palms.