Mr. Tough Knuckles 

"I want you to understand what you've done, Johnny." The man looked at the boy sternly. "I want you to understand what it means to destroy property. It means something." 

The boy looked worried in a vague way, but was silent. 

"It wasn't just the window you broke, Mr. I-Like-Throwing-Rocks." 

The boy's expression did not change. 

"There was a complete set of very fine heirloom china on a table in the room where the window was broken. Most of the china was negatively affected. The window, all that very nice china, and the memories contained in the china, all broken by you.Also, on that very day, there was, by a twist of medicalized fate, a bottle of human urine in the room that was by consequence of your impulsive and selfish actions, over turned. A large part of the carpet was stained and the resulting odor was pervasive. Mr. Littlejohn has recently informed me the stench is still lingering." 

The boy's nose wrinkled as consequence of the man's description, but the boy still said nothing. 

"I'd like you to think, Johnny, of the meaning of your actions and their consequences. I'd like you to take some time and think. Really, really use your mind. A mind is a terrible thing to waste, Johnny." 

Silence. 

"Well, Johnny?" 

A longer silence. The man folded his arms impatiently. 

"I’m waiting, Johnny." 

"I'm thinking," said the boy softly with a hint of firmness. 

"Good! Very good, Johnny. I'm chuffed to hear you're thinking. Please, keep thinking, and I'd like for you to tell me exactly what it is you're thinking. I'd like for you to put actual words to your thoughts and to communicate them to me directly.”

Silence.

“Can you say something, Johnny?”

Silence. The man leaned toward the boy, and the boy made a fist and scratched his knuckles on his front teeth. 

“Well. This defiance is unacceptable. I can only conclude, Mr. Tough Knuckles, you’ve been toying with me from the very start. I think you actually desired to cause damage to private property. In your mind—the law calls it mens rea, Johnny—you truly are a destructive little turk, aren’t you? Henceforth, we will have to seriously correct this attitude.”

“I wouldn’t piss into the wind of this market.”

“Excuse me, young man?”

“Pissed away years of gains.”

“This is completely unacceptable, Johnny.”

“Piss on me, I piss on you.”

“I’m nonplussed! I simply have no choice now, Johnny. This issimply beyond thought! Your days at this school are over, and I will be contacting your parents immediately. Piss on me?Indeed.”

Johnny found his way outside and walked around the parking lot as the night approached. He picked up a rock and threw it at an Audi SUV, shouting, “The bond market’s goin’ to the pisser!” 


MJ 

"I've never met a chest of drawers I didn't like, and you, dear, are no exception." 

"Joseph, you've become tiresome. The most deadliest of sins, really." 

"Your drawers are of exceptional quality. They slide silently with the best of them. They slide on air." 

"Words slide on air. Yours do." 

"Your legs. Let's not forget them. A chest of drawers is nothing, nothing, nothing at all, without sturdy legs." 

"If you keep this up, you will realize what it means to have neither leg to stand on." 

"I will perorate upon your drawer knobs. In a class of their own, darling." 

"I’ll terminate monthly payments to your account if you don't stop talking immediately." 

Joseph raised his eyebrows and shrugged his shoulders. He twisted swiftly away from the woman towards the open balcony doors, picking up his vodka ice. He took a sip and looked over his shoulder at the woman, asking her tartly, "Who was it who said life is a brief wave from a balcony?" 

"Twas my dear husband, Jojo." 

"No, no, it was MJ.” Joseph danced toward the balcony railing, laughing, drinking, and beckoning to the woman. “Isn’t it time for a little moonwalk, darling?"