It’s Hayward’s Fault! Hey there, We’re neighbors, you know Yes, in fact I run right through the heart, of the Heart, Of the Bay. That curb that’s broken, That fence that’s shifted, Those cracks in your plaster— Yep, that’s me. No one pays me much attention— Though they should! Attention follows my cousins, Loma Prieta, 89, and San Francisco, 06. But before 06 I was the talk of the town. “The Great One,” you called me, And I’m still here, Right Here, In the center of every thing you love! Loma Prieta was near Santa Cruz,60 miles away! San Fran 06 wasn’t even in San Francisco, But offshore, out in the Pacific. Yet I’m right here, snaking my way along Mission Blvd. through homes, freeways, churches, hospitals U.C. Berkeley even, And frankly, your inattention is beginning to bore me. Make no mistake, I’ve been bored before, October 21, 1868, To be exact. The cure for boredom is excitement— and boy did I deliver! Rumbling, roaring, reverberating-- I twisted, I turned, Toppling chimneys off walls, Houses off foundations, Two stories became one, Large cracks split the earth, Springs went dry, Springs gushed forth, And the ground undulated-- Wave after wave Upon nightmarish wave: Taking life from many; Sending some into such panic That they lost their mind Before, satisfied, I settled, Once again. There were few of you here then, But now there are millions— MILLIONS, AND I’M BORED AGAIN! Hey, did I mention that we’re neighbors? Close, close close neighbors! The Challenge The challenge, Spoke my cousin, Is for me, a practiced poet, To write a positive poem About Trump. “Huh?” I gasped, Write something positive About the pathological liar? The lifelong crook? The egotistical egotist? The defiler of our democracy? Hmmmm! But then it dawned on me— I never liked George Bush, But when compared with Trump, He seems a shining star. So thank-you, Donald. You are so bad, You made even Bush seem good. Putin on the Ritz Vladimir, oh Vladimir, Oh have you met Vladimir, Vladimir the DONald’s idol. Vladimir, oh Vladimir, Trump thinks that he’s such a dear, To Donald, dear Vlad is vital. Vlad hacked Hillary so Trump could win it all, Trump just won’t admit this, He’s bursting with gall. But he’s now the puppet, In Vlad’s gaming hall He’ll sell, us out, to Vladimir. Vladimir, oh Vladimir, Oh have you met Vladimir Vlad the great PUPPet master. Vladimir, oh Vladimir, Trump thinks you’re hot, Vladimir, He cares not that you’re a bastard. But Vlad has dear Donald, Right by the short hairs, He wants NATO weakened As much as he dares, And Donald will help him Like nobody cares Cuz he’s under the spell of Vladimir! Vladimir, oh Vladimir, Trump thinks of you like a mirror, Thus you must be the best of them ALLLLLL, Donald thinks that Vlad likes him Because he’s so smart, He can’t comprehend That Vlad don’t give a fart, That Vlad’s only goal Is tear NATO apart, Trump’ll help because it’s Vladimir.










