Poetry and an essay from Andrea Carr

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Feelings
What’s wrong with you?
Something is… what more can you want.
Why, do you find a way to be a part of everything?
I let you run free whenever, you are welcomed guests being pleasant and courteous.
 Not enough time doing that. I guess, I didn’t expect the desperate neediness you possess. When I finally got in touch with you.
To be lurking constantly before, you find an opportunity to pounce on someone.
It is good being honest with you, to express you being here trying to get out. Acknowledged.
When I feel like it, okay.
Fyi:  it is not always good, sharing the meaning behind you.
So what should I do then, to remain nice and yet, tell the truth about, how I am feeling. Without, hurting the feelings of others.
You sure ask a lot of me.
And, you. You started this.
You keep introducing yourself to them.
I didn’t want half of them to meet you.
So, it’s my fault to have so many.
A typical, man’s answer.
I have no control over choosing when, or which one to let out. They have a bad habit of surfacing most often, when felt.
Just so you know, I don’t try to control what I feel.
Who does?
When, it’s too late.
I have to fight with the most stubborn one’s to wait, having half of a second before I speak.
We both know how successful I have been with that.
Because I act on them saying whatever they feel.
I thought I could do that with you.
So leave them alone. If you don’t like to meeting up to have a chat.
They don’t hate you, you know.
Funny, I don’t hear you complain when it’s passion doing the talking for me…
They probably don’t know what, I really would like to do with them sometimes. No one feels good, always.

 

Andrea N. Carr, author of Family Tree The Novel: Family Tree. 

https://about.me/andreancarr

http://www.amazon.com/Family-Tree-The-Novel-family/dp/1494322846

 

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Writing it down.

I have writing spells where, thats all I want to do sometimes. Especially when, I’m out of sorts I write for cathartic reasons. Otherwise, I need inspiration to write coming at the oddest of times from anything. I must act on it or it hurts. I feel something tragic has happened to me if, I can not express what I am feeling when needed with the written word.
I hate that feeling, so to I try and avoid it ever happening. I started carrying around something to write with most times. It can come off guard so, I use a napkin or anything, I can find to write on at the time.
My cell phone occasionally, comes in handy but, there is something about the written word with a pencil or pen I like most. I thought of a children’s book once when, I was walking my son to school. I had to run home. The whole thing comes to me at once, I don’t want to lose it if it is inspired. If it is longer than a short story it comes in waves each section of the story. I never know what, I will be writing about.
If I do it isn’t the same writing or as close to my liking. That is my biggest challenge, with writing now to find those sparks of inspiration on command. I can write on command but, not be inspired on command. If my environment is wrong I have to get away from it. I can’t be hindered for very long. I like to be alone most of the time, so I can think clearly.
Though I love people, dearly. I take them in doses, my friends are artists and compulsive freaks like me. (laughs) We get on each others nerves sometimes; we are cool though. We are all into our own things but, meet up and share our art forms. I feel frustrated with them because, things of mine need to be read; no instant gratification. I am the whiner in the bunch and want special attention though, deserving because of the nature of what I do. Who wants to come over and read when visiting you. I want everyone to do that, all I hear is “Do I have to read it now?” That is really how my poetry developed. (laughing out loud)
I figure, if I could discipline myself to read having ADD so can anyone else. I don’t understand people who don’t want to do it. I mean, how can you not? You learn things, what other way can be so intimate without having sex with everyone. Sharing thoughts and feeling with a story is grand it’s what life is about. How else can meaningful relationships happen, if we don’t share. (smiling)
I simply adore putting stories out but, fear sometimes, I will be dead before anyone really knows my name in literature. I want to see the impact my writing has on others. My writing is not superficial and has to be taken in and understood for what it is not what is wanted from it. Not with a legacy either, I can’t know about it then. I want to answer questions about it in case, you do not get it at first so, it’s understood properly.

Andrea N. Carr