down by the river

good news on the

other side of doom

treat yourself like

a king for once in

your life

and here i thought

that meant line up

all those that need

to be killed

oh, those things you

aren’t supposed to

say out loud

yet the tragedy goes

on

maybe if i hit the lottery

maybe if she really loves

me

maybe if the books start

selling

maybe if i actually cared

to bother people to know

i exist

comfort in sitting in the

park and scribbling madness

while the world burns for

the thousandth time today

drove down by the river

didn’t see any vans

or the homeless

i’m sure they found them

decent housing, right?

—————————————————————-

the little joys of life

watching porn in

the waiting area

while mom is in

with her therapist

somewhere freud

is smiling

temptation is the

volume button

with the next

person two

chairs away

these are the little

joys of life these

days

and here they

thought i was

going to be the

president or a

teacher

some educated

thinker meant

for greater things

all while i’m

betting the over

while studying the

odds on baseball

games in japan

————————————————–

one bad saturday night

most people are shocked

when i tell them i first

thought of suicide when

i was eight years old

but then i tell them

about being sexually

molested by a female

cousin

how my father hated

me for being born in

january instead of

december

and they start to

understand

and then we get to the

time i tried to set myself

on fire at seventeen

i go on and tell them

my will to live is now

stronger than ever

but, as this world gets

crazier and crazier, i can

never say it won’t cross

my mind again

fuck, we’re all one

bad saturday night

away from that

shotgun in the

corner being the

last woman we’ll

ever kiss

—————————————————-

every second i exist

sanitize my mind for

the thousandth time

today

it still won’t erase

all the hatred and

pain my eyes take

in every second

i exist

i never remember

it like this as a child

of course, that utopia

never lasted long

either

we are always one

shit stained pair of

underwear away

from the end of

the world

some are expecting

jesus

i figure it will be

more like hiroshima

i had a homeless guy

tell me the only things

that will survive are

the roaches and keith

richards

he liked telling that

joke while drinking

out of a brown bag

he’d offer me a swig

for three cigarettes

he then would ask for

a light

the second swig always

tasted sweeter

———————————————————–

peel back the layers

it’s the low hum

of an air conditioner

meant to dull the

senses almost to

the point of sleep

so the therapist

can peel back

the layers of hate

and abuse and all

the other shit over

the years and get

to the core of what

every therapist knows…

you’ve been fucked

since childhood

and that is precisely

why i don’t waste

my time

give me a shot of

something strong

a good conversation

over a meal and the

occasional beautiful

woman to possibly

fuck and life would

be as good as possible

i can think of plenty

of better options for

that hour that is

costing $200

there has to be a

game on some

channel

———————————————————————

J.J. Campbell (1976 – ?) is old enough to know where the bodies are buried. He’s a three time Best of the Net nominee and a soon to be two time Pushcart Prize nominee. He’s been widely published over the years, most recently at Disturb the Universe Magazine, The Beatnik Cowboy, The Rye Whiskey Review, Misfit Magazine and Yellow Mama. His next chapbook should be out soon. You can find him gambling on basically any sport he can possibly watch. He does still have a blog, although he rarely has the time to write on it. (https://evildelights.blogspot.com)