————————————————————–
happiness
you haven’t lived until
you have cleaned the
shit off of your 72 year
old mother
the same mother that
wondered why you
used your real name
the first time you got
paid for your writing
the same mother that
made you walk on a
broken foot for a week
because she didn’t
believe you
as i reached for another
wet wipe my mother
asked if i was happy
with my life
i told her i have never
found happiness in my
fifty years on this planet
and it’s not that i think
it’s not possible, just life
sucks sometimes and
sometimes that suck
doesn’t know when
to stop
these are the nights i
dream about being eight
years old wishing i could
tie a knot
i still remember that tree
in the backyard, and the
ladder and an old rope
—————————————————————–
look forward
this beautiful woman
believes we are going
to have a great life
together one day
i keep telling her
she might want to
get that life started
way sooner than she’s
expecting since i am
much older and closer
to death
she says i should be
positive and look
forward to the future
i always laugh at that
explain to her i have
been poor almost longer
than she’s been alive
that will do some damage
to your soul that never
can be repaired
—————————————————————-
an old stash
one of those nights
you put on coltrane
and start looking
through the drawers
hoping to find an
old stash that has
been long gone
it’s always a woman
always what could
have been
always a night of
lust in chicago oh
so many years ago
my dead friends
are starting to greet
me in my dreams
now
i want to believe
i know what that
means although
i’m pretty sure it
is only wishful
thinking
perhaps the lesbian
i dated at 23 was
right
loneliness clings
to me like an old
coat
too thin for the
winter and much
too much in the
summer
————————————————–
fast asleep
nine degrees at three
in the morning
the only woman that
wants you is fast asleep
547 miles away
betting on yet another
super bowl that doesn’t
have any of the teams
i would want to see
fingers are crossed
but as usual
i’m guessing somehow
i will get three out of
four
while that may help
you pass a test
it doesn’t do much
of anything when
gambling
the good life is a
fucking myth your
father died chasing
without even knowing
he had it
somewhere kerouac
is laughing at you
mumbling something
about this fucker just
ain’t ever going to
understand i guess
the easiest bet of all
is simply understanding
the fool is in the mirror
——————————————————————–
counterclockwise
i dated a woman with
a three legged dog
when i was younger
that dog was way
cooler than i was
so we didn’t last
that long
she did teach me
to stir my coffee
counterclockwise
that releases all
the evil spirits
within
i still do that
to this day
anything to bring the
hope for something
exciting in a world
dripping with the
mundane
two more inches
of snow
a mother trying
to fight off time
it is now an exercise
in biting my tongue
and sadly getting
used to the smell
of shit
my mother said
they never tell
the nurses about
this part of the job
i looked at her
and laughed and
said i know
J.J. Campbell (1976 – ?) is old enough to know better. He’s a 3 time Best of The Net nominee and a two-time Pushcart Prize nominee. He’s been widely published over the years, most recently at The Rye Whiskey Review, Night Owl Narrative, Disturb the Universe Magazine, The Beatnik Cowboy and Crossroads Magazine. His most recent book, to live your dreams, was published by Whiskey City Press. You can find more info on the book by going here: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/245883678-to-live-your-dreams.