Halley’s Comet

born in a land of static to piano
the feeling of a discomforting ease

looking up at the ceiling

almost as if you are looking up at your mistake.

“i don’t want it.”

my fantasies make me appear more truthful

when in our reality,

i can not convince myself to appear in your life anymore.

the drums in my soul get louder

my foolish heart can’t help to love you.

halley’s comet soars across the night

you watched it glow

i remained a shadow lost in our time

you chased wonder and watched it flow

i was far behind, couldn’t climb.

i tried to stay away

your laughter floats like sunlight on my walls

my heartbeat whispered secrets i could not tell

a hope entwined with fears.

each stare, a spark

the flame in my heart i shall not feed

i built these walls

you slipped through the crack

now love is a risk

and i can’t turn my back.

my brain refuses to close its blinds

the thoughts of not seeing you remain.

i could feel the bliss of a desire for nothing

now the only desire that burns

is the unachievable actuality of having you

i wish it didn’t feel that way.

in this cycle of time,

no love like this has grasped my place in this world before

only now,

in this timeline,

in our timeline,

i feel as if we were placed in this moment in time

for each other.

the drums vanish, the piano intensifies

my float in consciousness concludes

this body won’t move.

waves of my odd hearts situation shower me in panic

drenched in the tears of guilt.

i’m laying down peacefully

at the hands of my bed

my family unaware

that my state of sleep has danced away.

what am i to do?

if i can’t help to love you.