i can’t get up right now
i think about you all the time
the silence is loud all around
noon never felt so miserable
strapped down to a bed, unable to speak
watching you rest as i take a seat
fragile, still, afraid, weak
that’s not who you were
all those times i sat down
not a word whispered or muttered from either of us
it killed you internally
there’s a spot for you in the living room
where you laid
where i witnessed your disease
where i look at our texts when i miss you the most
i’m afraid im forgetting you
i don’t want to forget you
your being taken away from me again
one day you’re there
then the next you’re not.
An Attempt To Have A Conversation With Your 15 Year Old Daughter
Hey Love
hi mom
Are you okay?
i can’t help but beg for there to have been another way
What have you been doing all day?
stuck sitting in silence without a mother to show to the world
You’re going to get bored here the whole day
not something i can control now that he’s in charge
Do not miss out on a nice day just for something that is not worth it
a lack of motivation my father contributes to
Is your dad bothering you?
when doesn’t he? screaming i’m selfish, a burden, useless
Let me know if he leaves. I don’t want him bothering you
he never leaves now that you’re gone
I can’t get up right now
you were never able to get up on your own again
Can you come over?
we’re worlds apart
Feeling better?
the lump in my heart is easier to maintain
You want anything else?
to talk to you in person, not through your old texts
You know i’m always here for you
you dont understand how much i want that to be the case
Love you
i love you too.