I realized that I must live like a debtor,
I am a chosen servant among thousands,
I cannot go away like a stone falling into the water,
I am not created by ordinary people, I am like that!
Don’t give me peace! Don’t give me obedience!
Give me rebellion, give me struggle!
Don’t give me excuses! Give me courage!
Give me creation! Don’t give me light!
In the eyes that fall, there is a flowery poem,
Or a white sweat on my forehead,
Although I live as dust, earth,
Being like a mountain under the feet of those who trample me!
Do not expect, despise, or praise anyone,
Raise me, O Lord, give me your hand,
Do not let my life be decided in the hands of the lowly,
Give me the way to start great caravans!
***
Wiser thoughts have filled your mind,
Life’s lesson is the most difficult lesson,
Your bosses have led you to mirages,
Sometimes you sow wheat when you don’t reap it!
You have been waiting for happiness from those who have lost everything,
Your life has been tied to a long caravan of dreams,
From those who have collected pearls in your eyes,
Now give up hope and turn to your destiny!
You will laugh at your bitter fate,
Your loved ones who have fallen from your heart,
Your tears that have dried up like the moisture on the tip of your eyelashes,
Your ones that have burned in the chaos of times!
You are a fleeting fragment like a cloud in the sky,
You pour out your heart to the rains,
While I connect my heavy chest to your heart,
If only I could pick your sorrows like flowers…
University
My sorrows fade away as the years pass,
My life seeks happiness in your eyes,
If I step into the arms of snow, my thirsty soul,
If my wild imagination and restless thoughts freeze…
I would like mountains as high as my soul,
If the sky falls, I would be proud of my chest!
I will reach my feelings in a chaotic way,
If I build a path from your memories…
The streets are green… The night is dark…
The whispers of the rain say your name,
The curtains drawn over my heart are dim,
Recall the distant past to me.
Poplars… Alley… Hazy street…
A gaze that falls like an eyeball on the ground…
The first shiver… The first kiss… The full moon night…
The dear university that brought us together…
My tears are a puddle under the trees,
My longing has filled my heart,
The path that leads to your bosom, O God,
My heart has been entangled…
***
Was it a dream or a fog that I was so distracted by,
Waiting for a companion on an incomprehensible path,
My eyes filled with tears,
I lived my whole life as autumn..
Am I a leaf or one that fell prematurely?!
Crushed and broken at the foot of a hill,
My sad gaze fixed on the sky,
My body was buried in the dust…
I was an Eagle, right?! Ask, I was a Falcon!!!
I landed on your wrist as a king – my enemy,
The world was a lie, but I was real!
You made me so many places, my beloved…
LIFE
Everything is repetitive, everything is old,
The circle has been spinning since the dawn of time,
The steps of life are faster than anything,
The world is as black as your eyes, empty
I’m behind, you’re in front, in the middle is memory…
The worry that has covered our face…
The heart is forgetting its familiarity…
What I lack is love and air…
It will rain, it will snow
Seasons bring sadness, dust,
Their thoughts are heavy, their moods are narrow,
Can you forget a dildo like you?!
The wind asks, the thunder is loud,
A soul in a distant hut,
The belt is widening, the clouds are close,
The sound of the drops…
I run back, my steps follow,
I wake up startled, it’s all a dream, a dream…
If one day I am absorbed in nothingness, if I leave,
You make me like everything, my dear…
My heart is spreading, the shams are shooting arrows,
A thousand and one birds do things in space,
Chilly summer, cold autumn, dampness is cold
Kuzacks give way to winter…
A epkin in the heart that vibrates like grass,
Full of noisy silence right and left,
Life is slow like tears in the eyes,
The address is the late road between the eyebrows…
The address is a long way between the eyebrows!
***
To ask for mercy with such great love,
Your head is like a stone,
How hard it is to laugh and cry silently,
One day we will see our hearts bloom like flowers on the ground…
I have become accustomed to the burdens that tear my neck,
I have stopped caring about the heart-warming encouragements,
I do not trust the promises that the sky kisses,
I have no grudge, I will never hold a grudge against them…
Is a small cup of patience,
The depths of my covenant are deep,
Even the kiss of a false lover cannot be erased,
Is the path of life always steep and steep?
I am leaving, my sky is raining heavily,
In every struggle, my shovels have bitten the ground,
Having lost heart from everyone who gave me hope,
I am leaving, life has “planted” me…
It’s true that a passenger made a passenger,
A lesson for someone, a fate for someone,
I give a lot, I get a little in this fight,
The height of the heart of a broken heart!
Did I head into spaces like air?
A thousand and one mistakes in the tangled street of thoughts,
Don’t let the winds blow my heart,
Even if I fall, lift me up, God!
Latofat Amirova was born in 1997 in Kashkadarya region, Republic of Uzbekistan.