ocean

my head is an ocean
in which I more frequently drown than swim.
my mouth is a loaded gun
and I am the finger that holds the trigger.
sometimes I cannot stop myself
from getting tangled in the algae of my depression,
from drowning in a sea of anxiety.
sometimes I cannot stop myself
from firing on the first one to cross my path.

my head is a void,
an endless continuum in which I often find myself lost.
as I walk through the gates at the precipice of nothingness
I am greeted with only a baleful silence.
with every step I take in my own mind
I fear that I will slip into the deep
and never be able to return again.
my head is an ocean
in which I more frequently drown than swim.

Riley “Ri” Winters (she/they) is a young transgender poet, author, and musician from San Francisco, California. Her work focuses on social justice, identity reclamation, and self-expression, and advocates for mental health awareness and LGBTQ+ rights.