i eat night.

i eat night as would a child a hundred year hungry
to quicken the arrival of dawn for he is the chariot
that brings my mother home from the abattoir father calls room
we are three children ‘in my father’s house’

i the oldest is twelve. what kills me at home
is my blossoming fear for my ten year old sister
as if fertilized, her breasts are so ample
she looks like the 17 year old girl next door

i fear for my sister because when i was 6
i fell upon father profusely sweating
on a girl 2 years  older than me, her breasts
are hardly three fingerful: thumb middle-finger forefinger

he stays away from home sometimes 9 months
when at home, he leaves before dawn
with nothing for mother to keep us
breathing and comes back deep in the night
drunk to fuck patience out the remains of life
from our hungry mother

but strange it is
that i see me preferring night to day
i love night and her darkness
because when she embraces earth
she becomes the nikaab
in which my mother
hides the wrinkles of sorrow
eating the fruits of beauty off her face

and here is my fear:
one day, i will wake up an orphan
protecting his second sister in this world
peopled by uncertain beings
because that day my mother will come home
find her husband fucking beauty
out of her 10 year old daughter, his daughter
with sorrow overflowing from her heart
she will attack him
he drunk, will fight back
bring out the knife he always carries around his waist
push my sister smashing her head on the wall
and then stab mother to death

and i will grab my 6 year old sister
run away, seeking path in this wilderness