Godless Libraries

“Our duty is manifest,” Greg intoned, peering down through the bright lights and into the seats which were filled with members of Citizens Concerned for Children; this was yet another right wing group that he coveted. 

He hoped to recruit them in his unrelenting quest to ban virtually all books from school libraries.  The crowd shouted its approval.   Greg smiled.  He was happily in his element.

Greg, Governor of his state, held up his hands for quiet only halfheartedly; he adored adulation from the unwashed masses.  

“Do you know what your children are reading?” he boomed out ominously. He held up a book–“Rubyfruit Jungle”– and the crowd booed on cue.  In back of the room, Fox News filmed the address. Sean Hannity provided a running commentary.

Taking up the volume, Greg ripped it into two pieces, then cast it to the floor, where it landed with a loud splat, which echoed throughout the huge hall.

The audience went “ooh,” at the Governor’s display of outrage and pure physical strength.

“Here’s another one we don’t need,” he declared, holding up “Beloved,” to the hisses and catcalls from those assembled.

Clutching the book over his head, he ripped the book in two.  The cloud politely applauded, duly impressed. 

Unknown to the audience, Greg had had the books’ spines broken prior to the meeting.

He said, “We want to get rid of “The Bluest Eye” and “A Catcher in the Rye” and “Huckleberry Finn” and “The Hate U Give,” and “I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings.”

With each successive declaration the crowd’s excitement grew.

“Do you know what the presence of these books in the library leads to?” he asked.

Someone shouted out, ” Black Lives Matters!” Another yelled, “Critical Race Theory!” Greg nodded somberly in agreement with each shouted statement. “It means,” he said gravely, “godlessness!”

The crowd was in a frenzy now, excited almost beyond even Greg’s expectations. “Are you with me, then?” he demanded.

“Yes!” shouted the audience and four hundred fists were thrust righteously into the air.

“All right then,” said the Governor, cuing a queue of young men who fanned out across the room.  “I’m going to ask you good folks for a love offering,  These funds will be used to finance the campaigns of candidates who agree with you, that these godless books should be removed from our libraries.  Please give generously.

As the boys avidly gleaned the riches from the assemblage, Greg appeared to grow thoughtful, leaned into the mic and said, “And tomorrow, we’ll talk about restoring prayer to our classrooms.  We’ve got a Constitution to safeguard, people!”