Anomaly at Hydration Break 5
Sweaty weary Jai alai players, taking hydration break 5 on the sidelines, snapped on their battery radio permanently tuned to the “long-term super-hot easy listening hit station ‘H’arlo Zimarsuelle’”, hoping to hear something “smooth & sensualle”, only to be crowned on their reasonable tops by this surprise traanounce-munt…; ||| sayeth ||| I’m Quip Schweeney, reporting on the disquietingly rapid drop in density of—What? What’s this? Where’s the music—and who the hell’s Dik Schteenie? Sounds like some kind of special announcement. Something must be—Sshhhhh—sshhhhh—let’s Jus’ keep listening!—rapid drop in density of chop-meat reserves worldwide .. What did all this dying? ||| sayeth ||| levels are {when the lower than usual rate of
Why all these flames rate of inventory replenishment is factored do round-bouts playing on, is factored in} and on so damned enduring? factored in} expected to drop to or below the ||| st’ sayeth ||| Can you make sense of this? No, but—let’s Jus’ keep listening! There’s more!—so as to ’ve become to or below the threshold amounts which a real attraction? ||| Let’s jump in all-whole-hog then, threshold amounts which must be sustained to support but—please “resay your name,” okay? to support the number of human “Grogans” ||| fin sath ‘e sayeth, bronco |||
Have confidence, as I am H’arlo Zimarsuelle, and it’s been a pan to meet you, number of—Whoah wow! First we got “Hick Steamy”, and now, what’d they say—they say Darlo Chipultipeck or some other kind of Blab-blubber what the hell was that?No, but—please shut up and Jus’ keep listening!—of human “Grogans” {when the higher than “housie”. {drumthwackette} ||| ass yash tube replyray-replyply ||| Yasso soso spermontschnisch, higher than usual population growth [what they based themselves out from back population growth of human “Grogans” planetwide—I know you said shut up and listen, but—what the hell is a human Grogan?
Beats the shit out of me, but it must be important, since its——a’a slight while, you know, you; that place back Spearmint City {oh, you could use some now? Hey—in your sector the shops are still open what the hell go for it yah what the hell what the hell when you need a chew you know what to do} {Yul!}, but, once bounce once more-more growth of “Grogans” planetwide is factored in} inhabiting the planet bounce-ounce :: :: once YES INHABITING THE PLANET—Since its all on the radio, must be true, must be happening, must be——more UP once more DOWN oh no no just once and only once (n’once) more! inhabiting the planet by the year
Okay okay okay— the year twenty-four lower the palms, please, it’s -four twenty-six just ‘bout this one thing, harp-piesostrurumme by the year twenty-four twenty-six; but, that aside please, twenty-five twenty-five, maybe [no cut that’s got copyrighted] palms all the way to your sides year twenty-four twenty-six—I’m confused—what the hell is going on, they lost me. This is a joke! Shut it off, I’m getting a headache.
No, wait—hey! No. We got to see what happens.Why?‘cause its—hold it—listen!I’m Quip Schweeney, here to report on the dropping density of—I think its starting over is it starting over?I don’t know, just shut it off. Look they’re going to close the court let’s just—No! I want to hear! Just a minute more, okay—just one more minute!— please, [no no no that’s got copyrighted] wave all that aside, ‘n simply give, What did all this dying dropping density of chop-meat reserves worldwide. |||
dropping density of chop-meat hey ha know that and yup I’m Quip Schweeney, here to save you from this crisis we will have the root|||Yas really think then we’ll have the root?||| I think so.||| Good! Think so (this writ l-large on hairboned paper by the only two available {makes it legal} at that point the transmission was cut and the radio station was successfully retaken by the authorities no harm done but someday we’ll say where we were when [what] this is where we’ll say we were when [what] when “history’s got made” what the hell else what what the hell else is there anything else—the signal cut off, and—Then the usual sweet music favored by the station resumed playing…Bahnjihzeen Wilson’s “Dans les morts du soir”, an old favorite—but—‘n the transistor switched off
dead quiet Wow. I am bushed.
outsideMe, too. Wonder—what you think all that just was?Eh. outside they’re I’m sure there’ll be something in the news tomorrow.Right. Or—nothing at all. Things this weird, that’s what they’re coming usually happens.That’s right—but, anyway, hey, want to hit the court for one more set? I’m up for it!Is there time? Uh, yeah—yes there’s time! Go!
outside they’re comingOkay—let’s go go come on go outside they’re coming . go . . . go outside they’re go go go go go go coming go go outside the guards rush go [static] oh, it’s nothing—hey, that was a hell of a catch! they’re coming guards rush outside where the hell are they going, go {smell smoke?} outside outside ou Oh yah—them? {I don’t know—maybe} Yah, that’s just the Grogans. Yah, we’ll stay open for them yes we will yes we will yes we oh, come on, let’s just keep playing—okay, what? Really? Huh?Please! Please! Let’s just keep playing!
My work has been published in such Journals as The Chicago Review, the New Orleans Review, Witness, The Fiddlehead, Alaska Quarterly Review, and many others. Additionally, a number of my novel-length works have been published by various small presses (no self-publishing). More detail on my work may be found at www.jimmeirose.com.
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