LOST BUT FOUND LOVE

 

Tears rolled down Jane’s cheeks as she stared at the framed picture on her bed stand. It was ten in the morning and she was still in bed. She’d been awake for an hour, but she wasn’t ready to face the day. She’s been living like this since the news of the boat mishap which supposedly claimed Steve’s life was published in the Washington Post one week ago. She’d wake up every morning and just stare at the picture she and Steve had taken on the afternoon they visited the mall together for the first time. That was the last time they spent together before the boat mishap. As she stared at the picture, she continued to sob, letting the tears from her eyes trickle down her cheeks and soak up her pillow. So many memories flooded her mind as she stared at the picture: the afternoon she’d received the news about the mishap on the Potomac River, the search team that was launched, and the success the search team had in recovering the other bodies involved, which she didn’t really see as success because Steve’s was not among the bodies rescued. She thought about Sam, John and Philip and the way their unconscious bodies had looked when they were rescued from the river. She was eighteen years old and remembering the summer she and Steve had fallen in love; the summer she had a heart attack and how Steve had been by her side the entire time. Even though they’d only been seeing each other for a year, she felt as though Steve was the reason she was able to face the many challenges of her life. He was the reason she’d found strength to press on with her life after she lost her dad and her doctor told her she didn’t have much time to live because of her heart condition. Every moment she spent with Steve made her feel that she could live longer than her doctor had predicted. Now that he was gone, she wondered whether she would be able to face life anymore. The strength to live was no longer in her and with the passage of each day she felt weaker and weaker. She continued to stare at the picture until she was interrupted by a knock on the door. Her mom poked her head in.

          “Breakfast is ready. I made you your favorite: pancakes with gravy.” Jane didn’t respond. She sat up on the bed and continued to stare at the picture. “Sweetie, are you crying again?” When Jane didn’t answer, her mom crossed the room, sat beside her and gently clasped her hand. “Sweetie, you can’t continue to live like this; no amount of tears is going to bring Steve back to life.”

     

   “Mom, we didn’t even get to spend our lives together like we had hoped. First it was dad and then Steve.” She buried her face in her mom’s shoulder and continued to sob.

“It’s okay, sweetie; stop crying, everything happens for a reason.” Her mom patted her back. Jane looked up at her mom and sighed.

“What reason, mom? What can possibly be the reason that he was the only one who didn’t make it alive?”

“Sweetie, I don’t know but you’re going to have to pull yourself together; you’re still very young, you have your whole life ahead of you and I don’t think you want to spend it mourning Steve.”

“Steve was my life, mom; without him there isn’t much for me to live for.”

“Don’t talk like that, sweetie; you have me and Jaden, and I’m sure if your father were still alive he wouldn’t like to see you like this.” Her mom sighed and continued.

“It’s okay, pumpkin; stop crying.” She pulled her close and kissed her forehead.

“Where is Jaden?” Jane asked.

“He’s in the living room; he just finished eating. He thinks you’re sick and that’s why you haven’t been coming out for breakfast. I think he misses you.” Jane looked at her mom and let out a smile which faded as quickly as it had come.

“I know; he left this note on my bed yesterday.” She brought out a piece of paper from underneath her pillow and handed it to her mom. “I think he writes very well for a thirteen year-old.”

Good morning sister; I pray that you get well soon. I miss watching the Amazing Race with you. I also miss going to the mall with you every Saturday. Sorry about Steve, I miss him too. I miss him driving me around in his car. Anyway, I just pray you get well soon. I really miss you. 

Love Jaden.

Her mom smiled after reading the note. “I guess those after school English classes really worked for him.”

“Mmhmm,” Jane nodded. In the silence that followed, her mom wiped the tears off her face and twisted her long hair into a loose pony-tail on her back.

“I think you should always carry your hair like this; it’s beautiful,” her mom said. Jane smiled and nodded.

“Mom, Steve was very ambitious; he had so many great dreams for us. He didn’t have to die.”

“I know, sweetie. And I’m sorry about everything. You know, I was out of town when everything happened, and you never really told me how it all started. Sometimes it helps if you talk about it.  You’ve been so quiet these last couple of days.”

“I don’t even know where to start.”

“You can start from the beginning. Jaden mentioned something about paper kites.” Jane crossed her arms, knowing the story hadn’t started there. “Not really,” she said. “I think it started with the boat.”

“What boat?”

Jane reached for the stack of magazines and newspapers on the bed stand and gently removed a fairly new travel magazine sandwiched between two large books. She opened to a page in the magazine and then handed it to her mom.

“This boat,” she said. “The one at the Washington Harbor.” Her mom looked at the picture of the boat in the magazine for a couple of seconds and then placed it on the bed.

“What has the boat got to do with anything? Besides, there are many boats at the Harbor.”

“I know, mom, but this boat was different. It’s an antique. It was refurbished and placed on auction three weeks ago.” She paused and then continued. “Steve’s father bought the boat for half a million dollars, and three days later, Steve decided to take it for a test ride on the Washington channel of the Potomac River with his friends: Sam, John and Philip. He had asked me to come but I told him I didn’t feel like it. Two days passed and I didn’t hear from Steve or any of his three friends. I tried calling him several times, but he didn’t pick his calls. I knew something was wrong because Steve had never gone for a whole day without calling me, let alone two days. So after I didn’t hear from him for another two days, I decided to pay him a visit. When I got to his house, his father showed me the report in the Washington Post about a boat mishap that drowned four teenagers in the river. He told me that Steve was among the teenagers and that the police had launched a search team. But as it turned out, the search team never found Steve.” Tears stood in her eyes as she finished.

“It’s okay, sweetie; I heard the police is still searching for Steve. Who knows, they just might find him.”

“Mom, it’s been seven days; they’ll never find him. He’s dead,” she said tearfully.

“Baby, you can’t be so sure.”

“Even if they find him, mom; I’m sure he’ll be dead by now. It’s been seven good days, mom.” She stood up and walked towards the door.

“But miracles do happen, sweetie.”

Jane snorted. “Mom, you said that when dad was in a coma, but he never made it out alive. You said that when I was first diagnosed with a heart condition, but nothing changed. You said that when Jaden became paralyzed, but he is still in a wheel chair. Mom, I think miracles stopped happening to us a long time ago.” Her mom didn’t say anything. She knew Jane was right. She, too, was now beginning to doubt if miracles still did happen. As far as she and her daughter knew, they hadn’t happened in a long time. And most importantly, they hadn’t happened when her family so desperately needed them to happen.

         “Jane, I’m so glad you are finally feeling better,” Jaden said as Jane pushed him down R Street where they lived, near the Montrose Park.

“Me too bud, I missed you.”

“You know why I like summer?” Jaden asked.

“No, why?”

“Because it’s always bright and sunny; the flowers are always fresh and the air always smells so good. Do you like summer?” Jaden asked his sister.

“Mmhmm,” she nodded.

“Why?”

“Well, let’s see, it’s always sunny like you said, and don’t forget the butterflies.”

“Ah, yes, the butterflies; you’ve got to love them butterflies.” As Jane listened to her brother talk she knew that she’d just lied to him. She knew that she didn’t really like summers anymore. Not since their father died in the summer of last year from a heart attack and she had her first heart attack six months later. The doctor had said her heart attack was hereditary. It ran in her father’s family blood line. It was also during the summer, two years ago, that Jaden had woken up one morning and suddenly couldn’t use both of his feet. And now, this summer wasn’t yet over and she was already mourning the love of her life. As Jane and her brother continued down the sidewalk, Jaden called out at a boy who was about to cross the road in front of them.

“Charles!” Jaden yelled. The boy turned and looked in Jaden’s direction. He started walking towards them as soon as he saw Jaden. “Charles just moved into the neighborhood. He’s into cars and basketball. I think you’ll like him; he’s my friend and he’s pretty cool,” Jaden said to Jane as the boy approached them, but she didn’t say anything.

“J-force,” the boy said as he drew closer.

“He calls me J-force. Pretty cool name, huh?” Jane didn’t answer. She seemed to be taken aback by the muscular 6 feet 2 inch-boy whose long, dark, lustrous hair touched his shoulders.

“What’s up, J-force?” the boy said as he ruffled Jaden’s hair.

“I’m fine, Charley boy; how have you been?”

“I’ve been great, man; was about to go shoot some hoops with the guys.”

“Cool; hey, Charley boy, meet Jane, my sister; Jane, meet Charley boy.”

“Hello beautiful,” Charles flashed his perfect teeth. 

“Nice to meet you,” he stretched his hand for a handshake.

“Nice to meet you, too,” Jane shook his hand and for a moment, their eyes were locked.

“Ahem,” Jaden coughed to interrupt the moment.

“Don’t get too friendly, Charles; she’s not available.”

“J-force, you didn’t tell me how beautiful your sister is.”

“Well, you didn’t ask.”

“So, you just moved into the neighborhood?” Jane asked.

“Yeah, one month ago.”

“So, how do you like it?”

“It’s a pretty cool neighborhood and I think your presence makes it even cooler,” Jane twirled her hair and smiled.

“I’ve got to go now, but I’ll see you later.”

“Okay, later.”

“Hey, J-force, you wanna come shoot some hoops?”

“Not today, man; I’m having some alone time with big sister here. It’s been a while since we hung out.”

“All right, man. See you later,” he said and then went across the road.

“You like him, don’t you?”

“No! Why would you say that? I don’t even know him.”

“You like him, I saw how you stared into each other’s eyes when he shook your hand and how you blushed and twirled your hair when he complimented you.”

“Okay, so I think he is cute; but it doesn’t make any difference. Nothing is ever going to happen between us.”

“And why is that?”

“Because I don’t think I’m in the right frame of mind to go out with somebody else. Besides, it’s been barely a week since the incident with Steve; I think it’s too early to start dating again,” Jane said as they went down 32nd Street NW towards Montrose Park.

“I agree, but I think you need to start dating again, because that’s the only way you can really get your mind off Steve.”

“What makes you think I want to get my mind off Steve?”

“Are you going to spend the rest of your life thinking about Steve? Jane, Steve is never coming back; you said that yourself. You’re going to have to let go of your memories of him and move on with your life with somebody else. I’m not saying Charles is that person; all I’m saying is keep an open mind, because you just never know.”

Jane smiled. “Sometimes I forget you’re just thirteen; you’ve always sounded older than your age,” she said and ruffled his hair. He, too, smiled. “Some people say I have an old soul.”

     “You sure do,” Jane chuckled. “Yesterday, mom said that miracles do happen, I didn’t believe her. But deep inside me I wish that some miracle will bring Steve back to me. So, I forced myself to still believe that miracles still do happen. I figured maybe if I believed in miracles again, they just might begin to happen again, starting with Steve,” Jane said as they stopped under an almond tree in the park. She sat down on the wooden bench underneath the tree and stared at her brother.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” he asked.

“Nothing, I’m just amazed at how quickly you are growing into a young man. Is that a mustache you are growing?” Jane laughed.

“Where?” Jaden felt the area of his mouth above his upper lip. “Are you serious?”

“No, I was just kidding; there’s nothing there yet, maybe in another three years. But you really are growing into a handsome young man.” Jane smiled. Jaden beamed. “Aww; thanks sis,” he said. “So, about miracles.”

“What about them?”

“I too don’t believe in miracles; I think it is easier to believe in magic,” Jaden chuckled.

“And I know I said Steve was never coming back. But, I was thinking, what if, may be, Steve was found by a kind fisherman and is right now receiving treatment at a hospital in, say, Virginia?”

“I’ve wished for that for the past one week and it still didn’t happen. Sometimes, I try to tell myself that this whole thing has been a dream that is soon going to end. But I think this dream has refused to end. In fact, this dream has permanently become my reality.”

“Jane, people have been found after having been declared missing for years.”

“I know that, but I try to keep myself from hoping for the best. My hopes have always been dashed. I hoped that dad was going to live, but he didn’t, but I hope and pray every day that I won’t have to worry about a heart failure, but I’ve had two heart attacks in the last three months. Every day I wake up in the morning, I hope that one day you will get out of this wheel chair, and walk on both your feet.” Jane sighed and continued. “Sometimes, I think it is the hope that we have for the best that prevents the best from happening. Maybe if we hoped for the worst, then the best will happen. Come on Jaden; let’s go home before mom starts getting worried.” Jane stood up and started pushing her brother out of the park.

Days soon ran into weeks and Jane started going out with Charles. Their relationship had developed at a rather fast pace and was getting really serious. But Jane did not realize how serious Charles had taken their relationship until the evening they had dinner at the Citronelle restaurant on M Street. Charles had paid for a special place at the restaurant where they could have a cozy time together. The evening was warm and breezy and Jane was enjoying her chocolate cake desert as the lobster meal she’d eaten lay balmy in her stomach.

“Jane, there’s something I’ve always wanted to say to you; I knew this from the day we started going out,” Charles had said as Jane took a quick sip from the glass of wine on the table.

“Okay, I’m all ears.”

Charles took a deep breath and then sighed. “Jane, you are the most beautiful young lady I’ve ever been with; and of all the girls I’ve dated as a teenager, you’re the only one that I’m sure I would like to spend the rest of my life with.” Jane’s jaw dropped when he said this.

“Charles, don’t you think you are getting a little bit ahead of yourself here; I mean, you’re only twenty and I’m just eighteen.”

“I know, but I think at twenty, I know what I want in a wife. Here.” He brought out a ring from his pocket. “I want you to wear this ring as a sign that we are going to be together forever.”

“Charles, I’m not sure about this.”

“You’re not sure about us?”

“That’s not what I mean, Charles.”

“Then, what is it?”

“Look, Charles, I love you, I really do; I mean, the past few weeks have been great for me. You’ve given me the strength to press on with my life again. But I just think we need to take some time and think this through. Charles, marriage is forever, and we want to really be sure this is what we want.”

“I know this is what I want, Jane. What I don’t know is if this is what you want. You do want us to be together, right?”

“Yes, Charles, but…”

“There is no but baby, we are meant to be together, can’t you see?”

Jane looked at him silently for a while and then sighed. “I need some time to think about this.”

“Okay, take all the time you want,” Charles said and then put the ring back in his pocket.

“I want to go home,” Jane said.

“Why? We just got here.”

“I know, but I want to go home.”

“Is it what I said? I’m sorry if it was what I said.”

“It’s okay, Charles. This has nothing to do with you; just take me home.” Jane stood up and started walking out of the restaurant. Charles followed her.

“Baby, I’m really sorry if it was what I said, I…”

“For the last time, Charles, it has nothing to do with you. Just take me home, would you?” She snapped and stormed off towards the parking lot.

“Okay, I’m sorry,” Charles said. As they drove home, Jane stared out the window of the car, without saying a word. The car was silent until they pulled up at her place on R Street. She didn’t wait for Charles to come around and open the door for her as before; she came out of the car and started walking towards her house.

“Thanks for dinner,” she said when she got to the door of her house.

“You’re welcome. Good night,” Charles said and then planted a kiss on her lips. She gently pushed him away immediately his lips touched hers, and then walked into the house without saying goodnight. When she walked into their living room, her mom was in the kitchen doing the dishes and Jaden was fast asleep on his wheel chair, with a copy of Harry Potter and The Sorcerer’s Stone on his lap.

“Good evening, mom.”

“Good evening, sweetie. You’re home already; how did the dinner go?”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” she replied and then walked into her room. Her mom knew that something was wrong, because as far as Jane was concerned, “I don’t want to talk about it” was code for when it went horribly bad. As she got into her room, Jane took off her pumps and lay prostrate on her bed. She thought about what Charles had said and she wondered whether she had overreacted just a little bit. Was she wrong to have declined his proposal? Or maybe he was wrong to have made such a proposal after just a few weeks of being with her. He wasn’t in love, he was delirious, she thought. How can anybody be so in love with somebody after dating them for a few weeks? But as these thoughts ran through her mind, she wondered whether her reaction at the restaurant had something to do with the memories of Steve she still struggled to get over. Somehow, she felt that saying yes to Charles’ proposal would have been like putting a no-return stamp on Steve. It would have been like finally giving up hope on the possibility of Steve ever coming back alive. And as much as she knew that the possibility of Steve’s return were slim to none, she found it very difficult to accept that fact. Her stream of thoughts was interrupted by the mild knock on the door. Her mom gently opened the door and walked in with a plate of stew-covered rice.

“I brought you dinner.”

“I’m not hungry, mom.”

“Okay,” her mom said and then placed the food on her bed stand. “How did dinner go with Charles?” she asked as she sat beside her.

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Okay, sweetie; but just so you know, I’m always here for you. You don’t have to carry your burdens alone,” her mom said and then stood to leave.

“He asked me to marry him,” she said, startling her mom.

“What?”

Jane sat up on the bed. “Charles asked me to be his wife; well, those were not exactly his words, but he offered me a ring which he said was going to be a sign that we would be together forever. He said that of all the girls he had dated, I was the only one he was sure he wanted to spend the rest of his life with”

“But you two are too young for marriage; he’s just twenty and you are eighteen.”

“I know; that’s what I told him.”

“So, what did he say?”

“Nothing; I told him I needed some time to think about it.”

“Think about what, sweetie? You are just eighteen for crying out loud. You can’t possibly get married at eighteen.”

“Mom, I don’t think he wanted us to get married now; I think he just wanted me to know that when we get older, he would like me to be his wife.”

“Sweetie, Charles is only twenty years old, he cannot be so sure of a life partner right now.

I’m pretty sure he’s going to change his mind by the time he turns twenty-one.”

“But I didn’t say no because we were too young for marriage. I said no because I felt accepting his proposal would be like totally giving up on Steve’s possible return.”

“Sweetie, it’s been almost a month since Steve got drowned in the Potomac River and was never found. His family already performed a funeral service in his honor; even they have moved on, and so should you.”

“But what if Steve is still alive? What if he was found by someone in say, Virginia and has been admitted in a hospital where he is receiving medical attention?”

Her mom chuckled. “Pumpkin, even if Steve was found by someone in Virginia like you say, don’t you think the person would have contacted his parents by now? Sweetie, it’s been almost a month.” Jane looked at her mom and then looked away. Her mom was right, she thought.

“Honey, you need to move on with your life; Steve is dead and the earlier you start seeing it that way, the better your life would be. Don’t worry, you’ll find someone else.” She pulled her close and gave her a tight hug.

“Thanks mom.”

“You’re welcome, sweetie, you’re welcome,” her mom said and then stood to leave. She picked up the plate of food she had come in with and made for the door.

“Good night, mom.”

“Good night, pumpkin.”

The next day was Saturday and as early as 8 am in the morning, Jane’s doorbell was chiming loudly and continuously. Jane’s room was closest to the living room, and because she was partly awake she was the first to hear the chiming of the doorbell. She sat up on her bed, and let out a long yawn while stretching. As she slipped her feet into her pink foam slippers, the doorbell continued to chime, and she wondered who was disturbing her family’s peace this early on a Saturday morning. Maybe it was her neighbor who always came to ask them for sugar.  She rubbed her eyes as she stood behind the door, and without looking through the peephole; she opened it and there he was, Steve, the long-lost love of her life. He looked very pale and for a moment she couldn’t recognize him, until he said her name in the way he alone did, with soothing softness in his voice. She couldn’t believe her eyes. Was it Steve or was it his ghost? She’d seen the movie, Sam the Ghost and just two weeks ago, she’d gone to see The Ghost of Girlfriend’s Past with her mom. So, the concept of ghost was not strange to her and she believed in ghosts. As she stood there looking at him, speechless, everything began to spin around her, her heart suddenly slowed down and she collapsed. Steve rushed to resuscitate her.

“Jane, baby, please wake up,” he said as he raised her head and then tilted it forward. As he was bent over trying to resuscitate her, Jaden came into the living room, and seeing a supposedly dead Steve with his sister, he screamed. “Ghost! Mom! Ghost!”

His mom ran out of her room. “Jaden, what is it?”

“Jesus Christ, Steve! What, you, you’re supposed to be dead,” she stuttered.

“I know Ms. Jacobs, but I’m not dead. It’s a long story.” Jane opened her eyes as he was speaking.

“Jane, sweetie, are you okay?” her mom knelt down and tried to fan her with her hand. She and Steve then moved her to the couch and placed her in a reclined position. Then Steve went on to tell them the story of how his lifeless body was found floating near Harper’s Ferry in West Virginia by a fisherman. He had been in coma for the past couple of weeks. After he came out of coma, he was in the hospital for another two weeks before he was finally discharged two days ago.

“I just came back from Virginia this morning and I told my dad I had to come see Jane before doing anything else,” Steve said as he stared into Jane’s eyes. Tears streamed down her eyes as she listened to him speak.

“I can’t believe you made it out alive.”

“I can’t believe it, either Ms. Jacobs”

“I guess miracles still do happen,” Jaden said.

“Yes, Jaden, miracles still do happen,” Jane replied and then gave Steve a tight hug.

“Baby, it was your love and prayers that kept me alive.”

“Thanks for staying alive for me,” Jane said tearfully as she planted a kiss on his lips and then hugged him again. This time, both her mom and Jaden joined in the hug.

THE END