Stench of Sin, Scent of Virtue

by

Sandro F. Piedrahita

AMDG

February 20, 2025

Have mercy upon me, O God,

according to your loving kindness,

according to the multitude of

Your tender mercies, blot

out my transgressions.

King David in Psalm 51

Some said Caterina di Benincasa had the gift of reading souls, but her gifts went far beyond that. Caterina could literally smell the state of a person’s soul merely by being in close proximity to her. There was the case of Georgina Uzzauto, for example, a former prostitute who had gone to Confession and made her peace with God. Many criticized Caterina for counting her among her followers given the woman’s scandalous past, but Caterina disregarded their complaints. Didn’t many say that Mary Magdalene had been a harlot before becoming Jesus’ beloved disciple? Caterina had realized from their very first meeting that Georgina was faithful to her God, that she had fully repented, for the woman had the scent of a wild garden verbena about her, the flower known as herb of the Cross since it had been used to staunch the wounds of Jesus on the day of His Passion. On the other hand, certain prelates of the Church as well as earthly princes pretended to live impeccably Christian lives, but in the mind of God – Caterina knew this well – they were very far from pure. Caterina realized they were inveterate sinners from the moment she approached them, guilty of succumbing to the worst of vices, for they emitted the foul stench of darkened feces. She knew that such men’s eternal souls were imperiled, for hiding all their sins, nobody thought it necessary to pray for their conversion. And so she thanked the Good Lord for the grace she had been given, since it allowed her to engage in interventions whenever she ran into such persons and do all she could to guide them to salvation.

When Caterina first met Riccardo Avitabile, she was overwhelmed by the powerful scent of roses which emanated from his being. He was a nineteen-year-old, virginal and pure, and immediately told Caterina that his deepest wish was to become a celibate monk with the Dominicans. Although he was a handsome man – with steel blue eyes and jet-black hair – he avoided the company of women who might want him for a husband since he wanted to wed the Church, the bride of Christ, instead. Having confirmed that he was a man of virtue, Caterina decided at that very instant that he would enlist him as one of her scribes. Only a few were privileged with such a task, for Caterina was often rapt in ecstasy when she dictated some of her letters and certainly her longer writings and given her humility she wanted to keep the miracle as a secret from the citizens of Siena to the extent possible, just like she kept hidden the stigmata – the five wounds of Jesus, the five roses of Christ – with which the Lord had blessed her. Riccardo was shocked the first time he witnessed one of her extraordinary ecstasies and nervously jotted down what she was saying. Caterina had her eyes wide open as she spoke but it was clear that her soul was elsewhere, that she had no consciousness of what most would call reality. Riccardo had the sense that she was merely repeating what someone else was saying, and understood that the one whispering in her ear was the Christ Himself, the Savior of the world.

By that time, Caterina – who was an illiterate – was in the habit of exchanging correspondence with kings and cardinals, even with the Pope himself, always written by one of her trustworthy aides. The Catholic Church was in a schism, with the legitimate Pope – Urban VI in Caterina’s mind – seated in Rome and the anti-Pope – Clement VII – holding court at Avignon in France. The French cardinals who had defied Urban VI and wanted the previous pontiff Gregory XI to be followed by a Gallic pope were accused of living in luxury and ostentation and even having mistresses and spurious children, accused also of engaging in greed, simony, usury and countless other vices. “That which Jesus earned on the Cross is now wasted on harlots,” exclaimed Caterina. She could not abide it and referred to such men as putrid plants who were trying to uproot God’s garden at the Vatican and wounding God’s holy bride by doing so. She was sure the Frenchmen were immersed in the worst of sins since they were ravenous wolves trying to upend the barque of Peter by removing the papacy from Rome and opposing Urban VI, whom she affectionately addressed as “holy babbo,” meaning “holy daddy.” Through a special grace especially granted to her by God, she often consulted with the Christ directly as to what should be done about the schism. The Christ advised her to be bold and reminded her that her ultimate mission was the salvation of His flock. He did not cease appearing to her in her ecstasies, which were a delight and a consolation for Caterina and a scandal for those who lived in Siena, for despite Caterina’s initial efforts to conceal her raptures due to her abiding humility they eventually had become vox populi. How could she conceal her mystical ecstasies when sometimes they happened in plain sight, while she was at church, soon after she received the Eucharist when she fell upon the floor with her arms outstretched in the form of a Cross and wept for joy as she lost all control of her senses? By the end of her life, the crowds filled the churches where she prayed, hoping to see Caterina in ecstasy, and the throngs clamored to listen to her preach the words dictated to her by the Christ and to see her inebriated body levitate in seeming defiance of gravity.

Like all of Caterina’s spiritual children, Riccardo took to calling her his dolce Mamma. By the time she entered his life, Caterina was already being followed by many disciples who also called her sweet Mother – and this despite the fact that many of them were much older than Caterina. They followed her – male and female, old and young, priests and laymen – like the apostles followed Jesus, like the twelve followed Saint Francis of Assisi some one hundred and twenty years before Caterina’s birth. Among her spiritual famiglia – among her entourage – were not only ordinary men and women but also Franciscan, Augustinian and Dominican priests who longed for her advice – pastors of the Church seeking counsel from Caterina, an uneducated woman who had never read the Scriptures by herself, let alone the Confessions of Saint Augustine or the Summa Theologica of Saint Thomas Aquinas. She was a woman who had not learned about her faith from books but directly through divine revelation, from the words of Jesus during His apparitions to her. Some of the jealous citizens of Siena and beyond made snide comments about the fact that a woman in her twenties often traveled great distances accompanied only by men, sometimes at sea, suggesting the holy virgin was no virgin, but her many male followers were not interested in her body but her soul. And Riccardo – at least initially – was no exception to the rule. He could not deny, however, that he felt a certain unease the first time he was alone with Caterina in her study, the first time she dictated her letters to him while she appeared to be deeply immersed in trance.

For her part, Caterina made short shrift of the spurious allegations leveled against her and tended to ignore them. Despite her deep-seated humility, she knew that in the eyes of the Omnipotent – the only one whose opinions really mattered – she was among His fragrant jasmines. Her intentions had always been to do God’s will and nothing else. In her extravagant and zealous faith, Caterina believed that even the vilest calumnies against her virtue were in the end salutary to the soul, as they served to diminish pride and increase patience. Not surprising that she also pooh-poohed those on the other side who already venerated her as a saint inspired by the grace of God, saying that a mere creature such as her could not aspire to any earthly glory and calling herself against all evidence an impure and sinful wretch. In her boundless scrupulosity she lamented that her own faults and sins were the cause of the evil of the world.

All the while, the Lord Jesus was performing manifold miracles through her intercession, cementing her reputation as a saint among the faithful and converting so many sinners that the priests did not have enough time for so many confessions.

***

Ever since the Christ had told her in one of her ecstasies that she should stop living strictly as a contemplative and should engage in a public ministry, Caterina had made it a habit to visit the prisons of Siena and its environs. As usual, the gossipmongers questioned how a young woman would spend her time alone with the vilest of male criminals, but she countered that the Christ had eaten with publicans and prostitutes. Based on what the Christ had commanded, she saw the chief of her duties as being the rescue of lost sheep, be they rapists or murderers or women who sold themselves for a few golden florins. Once the Black Plague returned to Europe after almost thirty years without infections, Caterina returned to the Siena prison as often as possible, not only to intercede for the physical health of those affected by the epidemic of bubonic plague but chiefly to minister to their souls and help them reconcile with God while they still had time. Every time she made her way to the jail, she almost suffocated due to its strong pestilent odor – and this even before the recent outbreak of the Plague. The prisoners were in prison for the worst possible crimes – rape, murder, torture, heresy – and the malodorous stench was so thick Caterina could barely breathe. After the Plague arrived, the smell was even worse, for added to the stench of sin there was the stench of the prisoners’ wasting bodies. Caterina did all she could not to vomit, but sometimes the air was so foul that she could not avoid it. Eventually she turned to the aid of a bottle of smelling salts but it was useless.

One afternoon, Caterina – accompanied by the chaste Riccardo and an old Dominican priest named Colosimo – visited the largest Siena prison and found a macabre scene. Half of the inmates were lying on wooden benches, their bodies disfigured by the dreaded buboes, and the other half had perished and was lying on the ground, one body piled atop another.  Caterina knew that most of the sick inmates were in danger of eternal damnation given their manifold crimes and she tried to attend to as many of them as possible, telling them that they could yet return to Jesus. Some of the prisoners were incorrigible and reacted angrily, telling Caterina they wanted nothing from a God who would allow them to suffer such afflictions, but a few were more open to her call. One man in particular started sobbing when he recognized the holy Caterina, already celebrated throughout the region as a saint. Caterina gently caressed his fevered forehead and told him that everything would be all right. Suddenly, amidst the stench, she detected a faint smell of lilies emitted by the inmate’s body. The man could still be saved!  

“Why are you in prison?” Caterina asked.

The prisoner, a burly man with a grizzled beard, responded amid tears that he had murdered his wife and her lover when he found them in bed together.

“It happened in an instant,” said the prisoner. “Killing my wife was the farthest thing from my mind – I loved her so, Caterina! – but the scene of her naked body in the arms of another led me to an act of unplanned madness.”

“Do you repent of your sin?”

“More than you can imagine! I regret my crime every day of my life, not because I’m incarcerated but because I can’t contemplate a world without Daniela in it.”

“Would you like to go to Confession?” asked Caterina,

“I do not think my sins could be forgiven.”

“There is no sin greater than God’s Mercy,” responded Caterina. “The multitude of your offenses is no match for the Great Physician’s skill.”

“I’m not so sure,” said the inmate. “I slit my wife’s throat after all. I killed the woman God gave me to protect. Now my two children are orphaned. You can say I’m no Saint Joseph. Who is going to preserve my two children from Herod’s wrath if I can’t do so?”

“You have committed a great crime,” said Caterina, “but you can throw yourself into the abyss of God’s Mercy. Nothing is impossible for God, the supreme doctor of your soul.”

“As you can see, I have not long to live and desperately want to make my peace with Jesus. Your visit at this moment is an unexpected blessing, Caterina. I don’t understand why a woman of your renown and holiness would be interested in the salvation of a vile worm such as me.”

“Perhaps,” responded Caterina, “because I realize you are made in the image and likeness of God. Perhaps because I believe you can still restore the beauty of your soul. As the prophet Jeremiah stated, ‘God made you for good and not disaster, to give you a future and a hope.’ I’m sure that if you confess your sins, your soul shall have the scent of roses and all your crimes will be forgotten.”

“What hope could I have if I have an incurable disease that will kill me within a month? I have a deep pain in the groin and a terrible headache.”

“What does it matter,” responded Caterina, “if in exchange you are rewarded with eternity in Heaven? You should no longer be thinking about the health of your body, but only about the salvation of your soul.”

“I want to confess my sins,” the inmate said as he looked fixedly at Caterina. “Cleanse me of my filth,” he said looking to the priest.

Father Colosimo approached the prisoner. The old priest smelled of fragrant incense.

“What is your name, my son?”

“Michele. Michele Scaturcchio.”

“Tell me of your sins.”

“I tyrannized Daniela, father. Belittled her because she was an illiterate country girl and I was a university-trained barrister. Maybe that is the reason she found refuge in the arms of another.”

“Were you always faithful to her?”

“No sir, I wasn’t. I didn’t think it was a big deal for a man to stray. And thought only women need be chaste. Now I wish that I had been faithful to her, but you can’t return to the past. Maybe if I had obeyed the Commandment not to commit adultery, Daniela would never have sought a lover. Perhaps God would not have punished me with the scourge of this disease.”

“Sorry to interrupt,” said Caterina, “but your disease is not a punishment. Everything willed by God – every setback, every illness, every accident – is meant for a salvific purpose. When everything is going well, we forget God. But in the difficult moments we seek refuge in His arms. And that is an inestimable good no matter what the price.”

Father Colosimo gently told Caterina not to intervene.

“I’m sorry, Father,” she responded. “It’s just that people – even the most devoted Catholics – fail to realize the beauty of the Cross. Every slavish fear is completely defeated by the Cross of Christ Crucified. And every grace and bounty comes to us through the mystery of the Cross. There is no consolation without the Cross.”

“I declare you righteous, forgiven,” the priest announced as he made a sign of the Cross on Michele’s forehead. “Go and sin no more. The transgressions of your past have been blotted out.”

“By Jesus,” Michele exclaimed amid his tears. “By Jesus and by His saint, the virginal Caterina, handmaid of God!”

Caterina soon detected the scent of tulips in springtime coming from the man’s swollen lymph nodes, the sweet aroma coming from his wounds like those of the spotless paschal lamb, and was sure a mansion was waiting for him in Heaven. She firmly believed that in the unfathomable Mercy of Jesus, even sin could be made fragrant – sin “blessed and transformed,” she wrote one day. Amidst all the pain and sorrow in the prison cell she felt bliss as did Michele. They both knew it would not take too long for the prisoner to join Jesus in Paradise.

In a sense, Caterina envied the wasting prisoner, for he would meet her Bridegroom before she did. She longed for a holy death, preferably as a martyr like her namesake Catherine of Alexandria who died for Christ crucified. There is nothing Caterina desired as much as to be slain in defense of Christ her Savior and Consoler. But the Good Lord still had many missions for her although at that point she didn’t know it.

***

At some point, like Saint Paul, Riccardo felt a thorn in his flesh, a message of Satan delivered to torment him, an erotic passion which drove him to distraction. Like the saint centuries earlier, Riccardo ceaselessly prayed that the thorn might disappear, but it remained with him despite all his pleas and efforts. Indeed, his imaginations increased over time and caused him a deep and growing anguish. He was immensely surprised when Caterina confronted him about it, since he had never mentioned his unruly thoughts to her. But he remembered that she was celebrated, among other things, for her ability to read souls. Somehow she had recognized his weakness and guessed that he coveted a woman in violation of the Tenth Commandment. What Riccardo didn’t realize is that she had smelled it, the foul aroma of rotting cabbage that made manifest his sin.

Caterina was dictating three letters at the same time to three different secretaries, one of whom was the scribe she most loved, her inseparable Riccardo with whom she traveled everywhere. The use of multiple scribes happened often given her voluminous correspondence and the fact she could neither read nor write. One of her assistants was writing a letter to Queen Joanna of Naples, another to Pope Urban VI and the third to Raymond of Capua at once her Confessor and disciple. At first Caterina didn’t know which of the three scribes was emitting the noxious odor although she divined that at least one of them was steeped in mortal sin. When the writing session was over, and she was left alone with Riccardo, she realized that it was him who was producing the putrid smell. She found it almost impossible to believe as she was used to the fragrance of roses which emanated from his body and had always considered him a youth of uncommon virtue, one of the most valued members of her ever-growing famiglia of disciples.  

“How have you fallen into sin?” she asked Riccardo point-blank. “Surely you can confide in me.”

“Fallen into sin?” he echoed. “What do you mean?”

“I know that you desire a woman married to another. Go to Confession post-haste and admit your lechery. You never know when your life on earth will end. Sins of concupiscence might seem banal but they fatigue the conscience and have led many men to ruin. If you are to desire someone, desire God above all else. In the blood of Jesus, you will find a palliative for all despair and fear. Never forget that to sin is to despair and to despair to sin. Make your peace with Christ and you’ll be liberated from everything that does not come from Him.”

Riccardo didn’t understand her. The woman he desired was not a married woman. He lusted after the virginal Caterina herself. What he didn’t realize was that Caterina was indeed married. She was the bride of the Lord Jesus, pledged to Him since she was a child.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he dissembled. “I do not pine after any married woman.”

Catherine was blunt as was her wont.

“Don’t lie to me, Riccardo Avitabile. I am your Mamma and can read your soul. You must immediately put an end to your disordered and lascivious thoughts. Don’t you dare engage in lascivious actions. Instead, drown yourself in the blood of Christ crucified!”

Riccardo was dumbfounded. How could he confess to Caterina that she was the object of his rank desires? How could he tell her he didn’t see her as a mother but as a woman? So without saying anything else, he took his hat and – sweating profusely – he left the chambers where he had been meeting with her. After Caterina’s scolding, he felt a hot shame and a sinful passion both at the same time, but he had already decided where he was going. In order to quench his lust, he would make his way to the Via della Rosa, the street where harlots and beggars gathered. The name of the street was revelatory. Cogliere una rosa – to pluck a rose – was local slang for bedding a prostitute. The prelates of Siena allowed it despite considering it sinful because they felt it was a necessary evil. Prostitution was much better than the alternatives, the deflowering of Catholic maidens by young men exercising their youthful needs and passions or, even worse, engaging in perverse activities. After all, Saint Augustine himself had decreed in De Ordine that “if you remove prostitutes from society, everything will be unsettled on account of lust.” Riccardo the seminarian felt a pang of shame when he remembered la Via Dolorosa, the Latin words for Jesus’ route on the way to Calvary, the Church’s name for Christ’s Way of Sorrows, which sounded so much like la Via della Rosa. He knew that by his intended actions he would be adding another sorrow to the Christ’s long list of sorrows and hurling another dart at the Sacred Heart of Jesus.

After finding a brothel, Riccardo immediately gave one of the women thirty florins and absconded into her bedroom where she began his education in sin by washing his private parts with a dwindling bar of soap. He felt a sudden revulsion, realizing many other men had been cleaned with the same soap and the same bucket of water, but he was a man with a purpose. By sharing a bed with a repugnant harlot wearing the characteristic hood with a yellow cowl worn by all the prostitutes of Siena, Riccardo sought to extirpate every carnal desire for Caterina, every vision of darkness she inspired, every shameful dream about her. But he was not sure the plan would do the trick. He knew his passion was perverse, since the reason the holy virgin lit the flame of sexual attraction in him was her very chastity, the fact that she was undefiled. The brief thirty minutes he spent with the prostitute were in no way satisfying and did nothing to quell his burning passion for Caterina. So he went to the whorehouse next door and engaged another puttanna for another thirty minutes, then another and another, and another, trying to find Caterina in the wasting women he was hiring and finding nothing but their inner ugliness instead. Several months later, when Caterina was looking for Riccardo in the brothels of Siena, trying to save him from perdition, Caterina wasn’t surprised because the whorehouses were impregnated by a fetid stench but because there were still some women who smelled of roses in such places.

***

  At around midnight, after the bout of lovemaking was over, Riccardo asked the man who ran the brothel if he could spend the night in one of its empty rooms.

“With or without companionship?” the man queried. He was a rotund man named Feo Belcari who was afflicted by a nervous tic.

“I think I’ve had enough women for the night,” said Riccardo.

“You’re green, aren’t you? You’re not accustomed to the company of bawdy women.”

“Can you tell?”

“Some of the girls were giggling about you. They say you’re the clumsiest man they’ve ever slept with. And they thought it was hilarious that you jumped from whore to whore instead of spending your money on just one.”

“So they realized that before tonight I’ve never had carnal relations with a woman?”

“For one thing, we don’t use the term ‘carnal relations’ around here. We use the term ‘plucking the rose.’ And you’d be surprised, but we get a lot of men who are virgins here, sometimes brought to the whorehouse by their own fathers. At any event, if you just want to rent a room without any of the girls, it will cost you sixty florins.”

“I’m afraid I don’t have such a sum tonight,” Riccardo answered. “I spent all my money plucking the roses as you say.”

“Are you afraid your parents will discover you if you return home so late? I don’t ask about a wife because it’s clear that you don’t have one.”

“My parents don’t live in Siena,” said Riccardo. Then, shaking his head, he added under his breath, “Just my Mamma.”

“I’m not quite sure I understand you.”

“I’m a damnable seminarian. Can you understand the extent of my depravity! And Caterina di Benincasa is my Mamma, the woman whom I’ve followed to this very day as if she were my mother.”

“I’ve heard about that woman. Some claim she is a saint. And she’s even made her way through the whorehouses of the Via della Rosa, seeking to help women leave the trade and handing out images of Saint Nicolas, patron saint of prostitutes, wherever she went. I never would have expected to find one of her disciples here.”

Riccardo regretted having mentioned Caterina for he felt he had personally betrayed her and quickly sought to change the subject.

“What if you let me spend the night here for a month and I pay it off by working? I can sweep the floors, wash the dishes, make the beds, you name it.”

“Can you tend the bar?”

“I can learn. I really have nowhere else to go.”

“Well, you’re young and strong. It just so happens that I need a bouncer. Are you giving up on the religious life forever?”

“I can’t go back, not after what I’ve done.”

From then on, Riccardo became a fixture at Feo Belcari’s whorehouse, known as the Casa Verde by the cognoscenti. Although the Green House was probably the newest and most luxurious brothel in all of Siena, Riccardo couldn’t help but see it as somehow shabby. The bordello was located at the far end of the Via della Rosa, a green structure with twenty-four rooms and a bar on the first floor, where the johns could look at the available women and choose the one they preferred. The walls of the brothel were painted in garish colors, a deep purple and a bright yellow, and there was an image of Saint Nicolas affixed to one of the walls. Even in mid-afternoon, the whole place was dark, as if it were nighttime, since all of the windows were covered with thick purple drapes and there were only a few light bulbs on the ceiling.

Riccardo learned to tend the bar, but the main purpose for which he had been hired was to make sure that none of the drunken johns engaged in fisticuffs or beat one of the prostitutes. During his first two weeks at the brothel, his services as a bouncer weren’t needed, but soon there was an incident with a prostitute named Nana. She was an experienced whore as well as one of the most attractive – a lovely oval face, sparkling eyes of green, a lush and shapely silhouette – but she absolutely refused to kiss any of her clients. It wasn’t just a question of personal hygiene and the avoidance of disease, though that was certainly on her mind, but the main reason she refused to kiss the men who paid her to have sex was that she drew a firm distinction between acts of love and acts of mere concupiscence.  She was willing to accept money for the latter but not the former, even though she had no steady boyfriend at the time. So when she refused to kiss a middle-aged and obese client named Fortunio, he proceeded to slap her hard and her wails were soon heard throughout the whorehouse. The man who ran the brothel made a sign to Riccardo with his hand and Riccardo understood that he had to rescue the wailing whore. There was no door to the room where Nana serviced her clients – only thick lavender drapes – and Riccardo soon entered and ripped Fortunio away from the naked woman. The man did not resist or try to defend himself. He merely harrumphed and said, “All I wanted was a kiss,” to which Riccardo responded, “You’ll have to go to your wife for that.” Riccardo had already learned that many married men visited the Green House, not for kisses but for certain unspeakable acts their wives would not abide.

On his first week at the Green House, Riccardo failed to attend Mass for the first Sunday in his life and thereafter made it a habit to miss services. The truth is he felt a deep yearning to attend Mass and, above all, to receive the Eucharist, but felt he could not confess his sins given the state of his soul which he was sure was reeking. How could he go to Confession if he had not repented of his sin and delighted in the perquisites of his work at the brothel, which included free access to any prostitute of his choosing? Soon he developed a fairly steady relationship with Nana, who not only allowed him to kiss her, but joined him in bed every night after her work was over. At times, he felt like telling her to quit the whorehouse, but realized that with his bouncer’s salary he did not have a means to support her.

At all events, Riccardo became a habitual sinner, and hearing the rumors Caterina despaired of his salvation. Caterina had many faithful disciples, but like the Christ she was willing to forsake the others in order to rescue the one lost sheep. It was common knowledge that Riccardo had obtained a job as a bouncer in one of the whorehouses of the Via della Rosa and that he exploited women to satisfy his lust and that of the men who would pay to pluck the rose. Even worse than that, he had taken up with a woman whom he willingly allowed to live off prostitution despite the fact she lived with him as if she were his lawfully wedded wife. Caterina made various inquiries in the brothels of the area until she obtained the man’s address and one sultry afternoon she visited him along with half a dozen of her disciples. Riccardo did not give her a hearty welcome. Instead, he immediately demanded she and all her followers depart.

“I am no longer one of the members of your famiglia, no more a caterinato,” he cried out. “I live in sin and revel in my vice. There was a woman I would have joined in Christian union, but your God did not allow it. What else was there for me to do, then, other than sin?”   

“You’re referring to me, aren’t you, Riccardo Avitabile? I figured it out after you left. Did you feel love for me or was it base physical lust?”
“I don’t know where lust ends and love begins,” replied Riccardo. “But you told me my feelings for you were depraved, that they were damnable in the sight of God.”

“If it was love you felt, with no desire for the flesh,” responded Caterina, “you should know that there is nothing sinful about it. Indeed, by love and affection I had already become one with you. We shared a special friendship, a particular love, but not a sensual or voluptuous one.”

“That’s not what you said when you confronted me with my sin.”

“So now you have to traffic in women?”

“There are some women I protect. I suppose they’re not all that different from your disciples.”

“You smell like human waste, Riccardo. Excuse my bluntness. But I want to impress upon you that it is very perilous to be squalid and soiled in the sight of God. Come to your senses and make peace with Jesus while you can. Don’t you see you are mortally offending God? Repent for Christ Crucified and for your own good. There is no excuse for licentious living. The sheep can still be brought back to the sheepfold. For once the opportunity is lost, there is no means to retrieve it. Pray with all your heart asking that the Lord forgive you and His Providence will lead you to divine virtue. Leave it all to Him, let go of yourself, lose yourself on the Cross, and you will find yourself entirely.”

“Please leave me, Caterina. I have no intention to go back to the seminary nor to be one of your disciples once again. I understand you now have forty followers, including many men, with whom you crisscross Italy and beyond. You certainly have no need of another.”

“I’ve been working on a book called The Dialogue,” responded Caterina. “I think you might profit from it. Come back and be my scribe again, you who are one of my dearest children and my most trusted secretary.  I haven’t told you this in the past, but I, too, have been beset by vile temptations from the old serpent, have suffered through dreadful imaginations and grotesque visions of lechery and lust. But I managed to prevail through relentless prayer to an omnipotent God, knowing there is nothing the demon can do without God’s permission. You’ll see, Riccardo. Together we’ll have the strength to fight and defeat the enemy of mankind. Your salvation can still be earned. Be not afraid!”  

“I believe in no imaginary enemies. Somehow in the process of sinning I have lost my faith in God. And you don’t need another scribe. I know you have ten secretaries at your beck and call.”

“You certainly have an enemy who will fight to vanquish you in every form of combat though his might is tempered by the Mercy of God. You can’t go into spiritual battle against such a powerful foe without your weapons.”

“Weapons?” inquired Riccardo.

“Yes,” responded Caterina. “The weapons available to you are the Mass, the sacraments, the Rosary, fasting, praying, self-flagellation and above all else the Eucharist, the body and blood of Christ who will fight for you in every skirmish, the food which nourishes the soul as bread sustains poor flesh. Fill yourself with the love of God and your victory shall be assured. Don’t worry about your past so long as you repent. I myself have committed innumerable sins but they have been washed away by the blood of Christ. Above all, don’t find yourself without weapons on the most important day of your life.”

“And what day might that be?”

“The day of your death, Riccardo, when all of your sins will be tallied up and you will have to render an accounting to your God.”

“I no longer practice the faith, Caterina. This meeting is over. I have no intention to transform my life. You can go preach elsewhere. I’m sure the crowds will love it.”

“If you don’t do it for love of God, then turn your life around for fear of the punishment.”

“I have no fears.”

“Can I ask you a final question?” asked Caterina.

“Yes?”

“Can you at least make an effort to achieve self-knowledge? Then only good things will follow and you shall receive such sweet consolations. For you will see yourself as God sees you, recognize the misery into which you have fallen, and make your amends with Christ Crucified for the benefit of your soul and your eternal bliss.”

Once Caterina had departed, Riccardo collapsed on his bed and wept bitterly, for Caterina had struck a chord. He was a sinful, wretched creature and he knew it. Even though he didn’t admit it even to himself, he still thirsted for the blood of Jesus, still needed the balm of Christ. Caterina prayed for him nightly, but didn’t know if he could still be saved for he was immersed in sin and seemingly lost in a dark, inordinate and desperate lust.

***

Caterina soon threw herself headlong into the defense of the barque of Peter from the schismatics who wanted to destroy it, and went to Rome with her full famiglia to defend Pope Urban VI from those who sought to replace him with the Frenchman Clement VII. In all her time in the Eternal City, she never forgot her little lost sheep and dictated a letter to Riccardo at least once a week, always recommending that he seek salvation through the blood of Christ, sometimes gently reminding him of God’s divine love, at others fiercely admonishing him about the wrath of God. She did not stop thinking about the fate of Riccardo’s eternal soul even as she was living in Rome in the midst of a hot war between the rival armies of the two men who claimed to be the Pope. When she went to Saint Peter’s old Basilica, she prayed for the two intentions dearest to her heart, the unity of the Church under the direction of Pope Urban VI and the eternal salvation of her beloved son Riccardo.

“Dearest and more than dearest son in Christ gentle Jesus,” she addressed Riccardo in a plaintive letter, “well may I call you dear as you have cost me so much in tears, sweat and bitter care. The Church must be rebuilt one stone at a time and you must be one of its stones. The gate of Christ crucified is found only in holy Church, which is now disfigured with horrible boils as a result of the wickedness of many of the men who run it. In these tumultuous times when the dear bride of Christ is assaulted from every corner, God is calling you to defend His Church. Do not ignore the cry of His heart or do so at your peril. You can still purify your soul and vanquish the world, the devil and the flesh by holy Confession and a firm desire for the virtues. You can no longer walk any other way than the narrow, painful way of the Cross. Sweet Jesus! Jesus love!”

Caterina made similar entreaties to temporal leaders such as Queen Joanna of Naples, known as the “harlot on the throne” given her four husbands and her many lovers, also for being an enemy of Pope Urban VI and a supporter of the schismatics. After Queen Joanna announced that she was switching her allegiance to Pope Urban VI, Caterina rejoiced and sent a celebratory letter to the queen, but Caterina’s happiness was short-lived as the queen soon recanted and again threw her support to the anti-Pope Clement VII. Caterina then sent a note to the queen which was more mournful than accusatory, telling the queen that for love of virtue she should worry about her eternal fate and seek self-knowledge above all. Caterina felt the betrayal of Pope Urban VI was an act of depravity in keeping with the queen’s manifold sins of the flesh, but did not say it explicitly in her letter. By then, Caterina left no doubt about where her allegiance was. Pope Urban VI was the vicar of Christ on earth, Clement VII was the anti-Christ, beholden to the devil.

As far as Pope Urban VI, Caterina didn’t quite know how to read him. As the legitimate successor to Saint Peter, Caterina had expected him to smell of fragrant perfume, but he emitted the sharp smell of gunpowder instead, probably because he had assumed the papacy in a state of war and from the very first day of his appointment had been forced to form an army against the countries and city-states which had thrown in their lot with the anti-Pope. At any rate, Caterina never criticized Urban VI to anyone other than the Pope himself, whom she often addressed with her characteristic bluntness, dare one say a holy boldness, always reminding him of his heavy burden as Christ on earth and urging him to plant good and fragrant flowers in the Church. With all others, she was indefatigable in her defense of Urban VI, calling him “the true supreme pontiff, elected and given to us by the Holy Spirit’s Mercy.”

It was while Caterina was in Rome that she received a desperate missive sent to her by Riccardo’s lover Nana, advising her that her former disciple had attempted suicide and was on the verge of death.

“I apologize for importuning you, such a holy woman,” began the letter, “a woman whose sandals I am not fit to kiss. But Riccardo has swallowed a bitter poison and is languishing on what I’m afraid may be his deathbed. In his delirium he repeatedly calls out for you, his Mamma, imploring your forgiveness. You are famous for your miracles, holy Caterina, and I despair of Riccardo’s fate if you do not attend to him. Is there any way you can come back to Siena and save this son of yours? Otherwise I’m afraid the enemy of souls might make a conquest of him. Please excuse the spelling errors. Ever since my first blood my only education was in sin. Both my mother and grandmother were in the trade and my father was my pimp.”

Caterina received the news with horror and immediately departed for Siena, two hundred and thirty kilometers from Rome, along with her usual entourage of disciples. As they made their way along the road, Caterina made sure that all of her followers were ceaselessly praying the Rosary and asking the Holy Virgin Mary to rescue the moribund Riccardo. When they finally arrived at the Via della Rosa and entered the Green House, Caterina immediately detected the strong stench of sin as well as the scent of roses emanating from one of the prostitutes, who seemed to be no older than sixteen. Caterina, gifted with reading souls, correctly divined that the girl was not a willing whore, but had been turned over by her stepfather to the man who ran the brothel in order to satisfy a heavy debt. The holy woman decided she would help the unwilling adolescent, but first she had to attend to Riccardo. Nana ushered her into a room where the former seminarian was in agony. It was there that Caterina detected the most foul, repugnant and insupportable odor that she had ever smelled, a mixture of diarrhea with vomit, which was not surprising since Riccardo had attempted the worst of sins.

Riccardo was semi-conscious as Caterina first addressed him but as soon as he recognized her, his face seemed to light up as he gently uttered, “Mamma, Mamma…”

“We’re going to pray together,” said Caterina. “If you can’t mouth the prayers, follow them in your mind.”   

“Yes, Mamma,” the somnolent Riccardo managed to respond. His voice was a mere whisper and he looked at Caterina with languid, half-closed eyes.

“Hail Mary full of grace,” began Caterina before she asked him to repeat her words. Then she continued. “The Lord is with you. Blessed art thou among women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.”

“And blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus,” Riccardo repeated in a wan voice. He tried hard to sit up on his bed but couldn’t do so. Then he cried out as if in pain, “I’m not quite sure the Virgin Mary can hear me anymore! I am a bestial, lascivious and demonic man. I have clothed myself in darkness and am meant for the abyss.”

“Holy Mary, Mother of God,” continued Caterina, ignoring Riccardo’s protests, “pray for us sinners now and at the moment of our death. Peccavi, Domine, miserere mei.”

“I have sinned, Lord, have mercy on me,” Rodrigo echoed as his eyes welled up and he began to shiver. The poison was still in him and even repeating such few words Riccardo was driven to exhaustion.

At that point, Caterina seemed to be ravished by an ecstasy. Her eyes were wide open, but it did not seem that she could see what was right in front of her. Rather, it looked as if she was absorbed staring at a distant horizon. Her ears were unplugged, but she could not hear what anyone else said, not even the voice of the frantic Nana who was praying the Hail Mary without cease. In her catatonic state, the motionless Caterina, bathed in burning tears and perspiration, only heard the voice of God. And yet the words kept coming from her mouth, repeatedly saying, “Save this son of mine, sweet Jesus. Spare him from the wrath of God.”

Then Riccardo fell asleep. Nana thought it was the end. She asked one of Caterina’s disciples whether the holy woman’s prayers ever failed. After all, Caterina had been in a trance for more than an hour without any change in Riccardo’s condition.

“The answer is no,” responded the acolyte. “But sometimes the good Lord answers her prayers in unexpected ways.”

Then those present saw something miraculous happen, a prodigy they did not expect. As she prayed, Caterina’s body began to levitate, as if she was no longer anchored to the floor by gravity. She floated in the air until her body seemed to be flying like a dove as she continued to pray for her seemingly lost son, the favorite of all her caterinati.  

Caterina roused from her rapture at the same time Riccardo woke up with a radiant face, the symptoms of the poison having entirely disappeared.

“Thank you, Mamma,” he said with a firm voice as he smiled and sat up on the bed. “Thank you, kind mother, for healing my wretched body and my disfigured soul.”

Then he began to sob and moan uncontrollably.

“You have been granted an unmerited miracle,” admonished Caterina, “for even though you invited death you have been given the gift of renewed life instead. Know that miracles that save the soul are more wondrous than those which merely heal the body. And you have been granted both, just like those who sought help from the Christ while He was on earth. From now on, don’t let the enemy of salvation tempt you by either dread or guilt and throw yourself into the ocean of God’s unfathomable Mercy. Do not forget the benefactions of Christ crucified and remember that sin is a pestilential for the spirit. As Saint Paul said, ‘Rejoice in the Lord always! And again I say Rejoice!’ Immersed in God you will find joy. God has offered you His grace in a unique and powerful way. Now it is up to you to accept or reject His grace. No one can separate you from God’s grace other than yourself.”

Then Caterina approached the teenage prostitute and told her, “From now on, you shall live with me. Saint Nicolas, patron saint of prostitutes, has heard your plea.”

***

The selection of Bartolommeo Prignani – Pope Urban VI – occurred in the middle of a maelstrom. While the cardinals were engaged in the conclave to choose the Pope, furious Italians, drunk with wine and jingoism, had made it clear that if a Roman Pope were not selected the throngs would breach the Vatican and mete out justice to the French cardinals as they saw fit. At some point, the mobs attempted to enter the palace, demanding, “Romano le volemo!” Although Prignani was not a Roman, he was an Italian and that seemed to quell the wrath of the angry crowds. However, the tumultuous circumstances of the election eventually led many of the cardinals – particularly the Frenchmen – to contest the legitimacy of Pope Urban VI’s role as Vicar of Christ. Thirteen French and Provencal cardinals sent a letter to Pope Urban VI declaring that he was an unlawful Pope given the way he had obtained the position. No one could doubt that if the Cardinals had selected a French Pope instead of an Italian they would have been in mortal danger. So the dissident cardinals had their own conclave and elected Robert of Geneva as an anti-Pope. Thus began the Great Schism, which was to launch the Catholic church into disarray for years as two dueling Popes – one in Rome, the other at Avignon – claimed to be the legitimate successors to Saint Peter.

Caterina was extremely distraught by the Schism which threatened to tear the Catholic Church apart and sought solace in mystical trances where she could converse with God. During this period, her ecstasies became more and more frequent as the Lord instructed her as to what to say and write to the various protagonists in the fratricidal war within the Church. In an ecstasy, the Lord told her not to despair, for the face of His holy bride had been soiled but would ultimately be washed by divine love. Despite His reassurances – or precisely because of them – Caterina redoubled her prayers for Holy Church and sent a multitude of letters to men in power (as well as Queen Joanna) asking them to resolve the dispute by recognizing Urban VI as the Pope chosen by God. At the same time, despite her busy outward duties, Caterina did not cease praying for her favorite son Riccardo, for she recognized the man was still in peril of being trapped by the jealous foe. She knew that the enemy of mankind does everything possible to ensnare a soul that had once been his but had been rescued from him through the intervention of the Holy Spirit. “Now that you have chosen the arduous path of virtue,” she wrote to Riccardo in a letter, “I pray that your effort to avoid the easy path of sin will never flag. Sweet Jesus! Jesus Love!”

Caterina did not hesitate to write directly to King Charles of France, head of the Clementist party, and begged him to give up on his dream of a French Pope. A fierce and bitter war among the rival factions and the countries that supported them had become a reality and Caterina saw no end in sight. Massacres had been perpetrated by both sides claiming to fight under the banner of the Cross. Cities had been pillaged and plundered by condottieri and guerriers who both maintained they were engaged in war to defend the representative of Christ on earth. Although Caterina believed a war among fellow Christians was a scandal and a bane, she saw no alternative for Pope Urban VI other than to defend himself from his revolted children through force of arms. So when Caterina addressed the king of France, she appealed to him as a Catholic, warning him that even kings could be ruined eternally if they committed acts of violence out of pride. King Charles, however, made short shrift of her entreaties. A week after receiving her letter, he formally installed Clement VII as Pope at the papal palace in Avignon, the false Babylon on the Rhone in Caterina’s mind, and told his soldiers to continue the siege of Rome.

It was around that time that Caterina received calamitous news from Siena. Nana sent her a missive advising her that Riccardo had relapsed into a life of sin. “Excuse me for bothering you with this, I know how busy you are,” wrote Nana, “but I don’t know what else to do. Riccardo was doing so well on his path of virtue and then the enemy mightily intervened and returned him to his habits of sin. We were both leading chaste lives and had ceased living in the cathouse – I had moved to a Carmelite convent that gave refuge to former prostitutes and Riccardo had secured a job delivering wine to bars and restaurants. And then it happened. As he was making deliveries on the Via della Rosa, he returned to the Green House to drop off some liquor and spirits. Feo Belcari, the owner of the brothel, invited him to share a bottle of chianti with him. Soon they were joined by a group of bawdy women and Riccardo was fiercely attracted to a woman named Speranza, one of the loveliest and busiest whores in the Green House and a woman with whom he had consorted in the past.  She soon enticed him to her bedroom but that wasn’t the worst of it. Somehow Riccardo ended up participating in a great ‘festa,’ where he plucked multiple roses at the same time. After that incident, Riccardo decided to live in the brothel once again, forgetting all about the miracle you had effected on his behalf through your intercession. All that I ask is that you pray for him, for he is back on his road to perdition and I despair of his salvation. After all, who is worse, the woman who sins for payment or the man who pays to sin?”

Caterina wanted to return to Siena immediately, to knock some sense into her former disciple and force him back onto the right path, but Pope Urban VI had asked her to visit Queen Joanna of Naples in order to persuade her to throw in her lot with his forces and abandon the clementines. Under the circumstances, all she could do was dictate a pleading letter to Riccardo, which was both furious and full of love at once.

“When the Lord said if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out, he wasn’t kidding, my sweet Riccardo. Why return to the vomit like a dog? Why go back to the source of your contamination? You must depart from the Green House immediately for living there you are constantly tempted by the stench of sin. Recognize that sweet Jesus has already given you a mighty sign of His grace toward you, but He may not offer you His grace again. Pluck it out, Riccardo, pluck it out! Pluck out of your heart all unnatural love for all that is created and your devotion to the flesh. Seek wisdom, courage and perseverance. Move away from the brothel, confess your sins, and return to the fragrant state of virtue you once had as an adolescent or you may be in a pestiferous place for all time. Remember that, in a sense, the world is the enemy of God, full of stench and filth, and the flesh can be a powerful instrument in the hands of the relentless tempter. To the extent possible, try to make your sinful soul a mirror of God. Adhere to a salutary contempt of self. Make every effort to imitate Him so you shall be more like Him. Oh, Riccardo, my dear son, how I long for your salvation! Sweet Jesus! Jesus love!”

Riccardo did not respond to Caterina’s letter and continued to live at the Green House, deep in sin, a slave to his lust. Caterina was to live in shame to her dying day, for she believed she had unwittingly led her favorite disciple to his destruction and felt that she had not fulfilled her duties toward a son whom God had entrusted her to lead. If she had not tempted him so violently, everything that followed would never have happened. As far as the pilgrimage to Queen Joanna’s palace in Naples, it was a complete fiasco. The queen trenchantly told her that she supported the French anti-Pope and wouldn’t change her mind. Caterina told her that by following Clement VII she was gambling with her soul – by being an open enemy of the Church – all to no avail. As Caterina was taking leave of the queen, she smelled the stench of rotten fruit, for it was no secret that Queen Joanna was cuckolding her fourth husband with a young Swedish soldier, all in plain sight. Before parting, Caterina repeated an old Tuscan proverb to her: “It is human to sin, but devilish to persist in sin.” Then she added, more in sadness than in anger, “Do not wait for the time of your passing to repent of your sins for you may not have the time to do so. Attempt to achieve self-knowledge in the present moment and you shall be able to cauterize the noisome gangrene on your soul, which is now a sack full of corruption stinking on every side. Our holy mother the Church continually bestows a bath of roses upon you and all mankind and you are trying to prevent it by siding with the anti-Pope and his clementines. Outside the Holy Catholic Church, there is no salvation.”

In the end, Caterina’s words proved to be premonitory. Queen Joanna was soon murdered as she was smothered by her pillows on the bed where the queen had committed so many grievous sins.

***

Things got worse. The people of Rome itself rose up in arms against Pope Urban VI because of what they considered his extreme demands and threatened to kill him. All over the continent rival factions engaged in battle rather than recognizing the legitimate Christ on earth. Soon Caterina realized that they were inviting the wrath of God. Given such circumstances, she was not surprised that her God spoke to her directly, telling her that the idolaters would suffer through the mighty arm of His Justice. He called them idolaters because they were following false gods other than Himself – pride, greed, lust, self-aggrandizement – and were playing the harlot against their God. But as she spoke to the Lord in her ecstasies, Caterina protested that if anyone should be punished it should be her. She would willingly take on the sins of others in order to rescue them from God’s supreme retributive justice.

“I am willing to drink the cup of death and suffering myself,” she told Him, “so that your justice will be fulfilled not by punishing Your feeble children, but by exacting punishment on this wretched Caterina who dares call herself Your own. Do not despise those of your children for whom you have paid so heavy a ransom.”

The Lord was moved to Mercy and appeared to Caterina in all His regal splendor, telling her that He was accepting her offer and would not visit calamities on the people of Europe. “You are asking for your own immolation in order to expiate the sins of others,” He told her in a soft and reassuring voice. “That is consistent with the mission I have entrusted to you, to save a multitude of souls. How could not I listen to your prayer if you are emulating what I accomplished on the Cross? Know that Mercy is the most important characteristic of the Godhead. Know that I am Love and Mercy itself. The Great Schism will last for another forty years, but in the end the barque of Peter will be restored in Rome with a single legitimate Pope presiding in all his power over the Vatican and the whole world. Even now, the papacy – though contested by schismatics – is firmly rooted in Rome. If you persevere, those who seem but weeds in the Church will be replaced by violets. Your prayers will be heard.”

Death did not take too long to claim its prize. Caterina had fasted for years, at first surviving on bread and water and by the end consuming the Eucharist alone. Her thirty-three-year-old body was emaciated to such a degree that those who didn’t know her would think that the frail little woman dressed in white was much older than her years. There were no terms for eating disorders at the time, so her disciples – the Caterinati – just chalked up her thinness and her aversion to food to her strong desires to carry the Cross of Christ through extreme penances. As far as the scrupulous Caterina was concerned, she considered her inability to eat as just deserts for her many sins and faults. By the end of her life, it was not abstinence from food but eating that seemed to be a punishment for Caterina. Like a modern-day anorexic, she ceased experiencing her monthly menses and threw up when invited to eat food, even when demanded by her Confessor. The weakness caused by starvation eventually proved to be too much for her. After collapsing on the ground at the Vatican beneath a painting of Peter on his barque – la Navicella, representing the Church itself, tossed fiercely by the ocean’s waves – the enfeebled Caterina was taken to her deathbed where her forty disciples tended to her night and day. As usual, she slept on wooden planks and used a piece of wood for her pillow. On the seventh day of her tribulations, when she was already paralyzed from the waist down, Caterina prayed as usual for Holy Church and for the son she had not forgotten, Riccardo Avitabile.

“Save this son of mine,” she repeated over and over in her trance, as if she were Saint Monica praying for her wayward son Augustine, as if she were the persistent widow pleading for her cause. “Save this son of mine,” she pleaded.

She woke up to find him at her side.

“Riccardo, is it you?” Caterina asked in a whisper once she recognized him.  

“Yes, Mamma, I heard that you were ill and couldn’t leave you to face your despair alone.”

“I feel no despair, Riccardo. I know that I’ll soon leave this temporary exile and join my eternal Bridegroom in His heavenly abode. What I feel is a deep peace, knowing I shall soon be unencumbered by the heavy chains of the body, the prison of the soul, and that my earthly pilgrimage will end.”

“Still, I wanted to be with you. I never ceased to think of our time together with a sweet recollection.”

“Have you reconciled yourself with God? The last time I heard from you, you were living in a brothel.”

“I left the Green House some time ago. And I kept your command when you told me if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out.”

“I don’t understand,” responded Caterina. “Your lovely blue eyes still adorn your face and your countenance is untouched. Do you mean it metaphorically?”

“I got rid of what caused me to sin, but it was not my eyes. When I was in the cesspit of despair, realizing the misery of my soul, I thought of blinding myself since my lust was inflamed by seeing beautiful women, but then I figured out that would not be enough. Even if I plucked out my eyes, I would not be able to suppress my lechery. So I decided to pluck out the pubic roses instead, to mutilate them with a knife, to cease the pollution.”

“The pubic roses?” echoed Caterina. “What do you mean?”

“I have the glass jar at home,” replied Riccardo. “It holds my testicles, pickled in brandy.”

Caterina’s red-rimmed eyes opened wide, like two full moons.

“Are you a eunuch now? Have you been castrated?”

“I couldn’t live with myself, knowing that I stank before my God. I knew that I could not avoid my vice through will power alone. Believe me, I tried it, but whenever a woman was available I lapsed back into my sin. Even after I left the whorehouse I could not prevent it. So with the help of grace one day I went to a barber-dentist-surgeon and demanded that he cut off my private parts. It was a painful decision to make, but as they say, ‘for great evils, greater remedies.’ I was to be a gelding for my God. Ever since that day, I have not desired a woman. I am virginally pure. I can take the Eucharist, knowing that I am unsullied in the eyes of God. Not even the most salacious demons can tempt me to sin for my body is no longer equipped for passion. A ravishing tranquility has taken possession of my spirit and made my body a gentle fawn.”

The dying Caterina, ravaged by illness as she was, still rejoiced as she listened to her son explain his supreme act of self-sacrifice. In her final hours, the Good Lord had deigned to grant her the sweetest consolation, the knowledge that Riccardo was safely in the hands of God and contrary to all her expectations would forever be inaccessible to the enemy. Riccardo’s admission had strengthened her rather than fatigued her and she spoke to him with renewed vigor, still confined to bed.

“To the ordinary man, your actions might seem brutal and demented, indeed perverse,” Caterina explained amid her tears, “but not to a fool for Christ as Saint Paul put it. It is not you but our times that are perverse, it is not your act that is singular and vicious but the world in which we live. When the boil has come to a head, it must be cut by the lance and burned with fire.  I myself was called a madwoman when I scourged myself with iron chains. Crazy in love for the Lord is what I say. Pazzo d’amore! Didn’t Jesus say that there are some who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven? It seems that you have at long last developed a holy hatred of self and in the process have discovered the path of virtue and the madness of the Cross. For as Saint Paul said, ‘virtue is perfected in weakness.’ I can now die with joy, knowing that you are saved.”

“Thank you for your gentle words of inspiration, Mamma. What many don’t understand – what I hadn’t understood – is that there is a stark difference between pleasure and joy. Pleasure comes through the senses and is fleeting like a dream. Once I fulfilled my base physical passions, I was filled with a deep and abiding moral sorrow. Try as I might to ignore it, I still had a conscience reminding me of my flaws. Joy on the other hand comes through the spirit and when based on love and fear of God can last for an eternity. The clement God of Mercy replaces grief with joy and darkness with light, despair with hope and war with peace. There is no limit to His consolations.”

Before she expired, the skeletal Caterina clasped Riccardo firmly by both hands and told him, “I am going to join my Father in the realm of endless joy. I look forward to meeting you there again. You shall see. The more you seek the road of perfection, the more your virtues will increase, the more you will be aided by the Holy Spirit. Accept everything for the honor of His name and never cease to pray. I entreat you to join the order of the Dominicans, for that is the path the Lord has chosen for you. Do not be unduly fearful, for you will never be alone. I shall protect you from all harm. Fear not!”

And as Caterina shut her eyes, commending her spirit to the Lord, Riccardo realized the room was full of the scent of roses.