WUTHERING HEIGHTS RETURNS

 

Once again today I remember him after many years. Heathcliff, my infamous hero! I would not have forgotten him easily. He is Infact my own reflection. My own soul. I am literally an ophan like him. That’s why I love him so much. Is it an unforgivable crime a man be an orphan? Is it our mistake be born as an orphan?  Don’t we have a right to be loved? Don’t we have a right to express our feelings and emotions? Dear readers all of you know why and when Heathcliff  began to think about revenge. Isn’t it?

 

Look at me you all. I am crying….. My eyes vomitting  pools of blood! I know you people don’t believe me. You readers think that as I am a story writer I can imagine even if I am the King of Utopia!  But the truth is different. All the salty tears containing red corpuscles, pouring over and over again on my shirt incessantly. Now I am wearing a red shirt! Earlier it was pure white.

 

If you don’t afraid I would disclose one secret. Do you? Ok. I trust you all.

Listen. I am one among many dead souls ascenting towards the Judgement Seat and Gate of Heaven. I died just last night in my tiny rented hotel room after leading a pathetic and humiliated life which threatened me so long! Myself I am kind enough, upright and religious. So I am not doubtful of my result in the Judgement. God is not a jealous God. He would not deny me slvation. So, before entering into Heaven I want to finish to tell you my tragic love story.

 

I am not sure I can finish it succefully. If I can’t, you people just imagine the rest of the tail! What I said?  tail? See, this is my problem. I can’t  recognize the difference of tail and tale! Because I am a lunatic. It is her version after she ate my poor savings.

 

Yes.. yes,  I just remember one incident. But you don’t ridicule me after I narrate it. Agreed?!  Oh..,You already started teasing me. Its not fair!

Its not fair ! Please… please…please… don’t  ridicule me. listen to me.

listen to me first.

 

Sorry I forgot to tell you one thing, Did I tell you my additional P.G was in MSC applied psychology under Annamalai University?  No. I didn’t.

 

When I was at Chidambaram for attending my class she called me with an urgency.

 

As lovers we regularly called each other over phone since we met and started our love. But this call was not like that of our previous calls. ( She now calls regularly DR.FAUSTUS, her new prey. She has even her own offficial pimp to connect with him nowadays.)

 

You know, she at once seduced me with her sad stories when I first met her on Face Book. So whenever her call came I should have thrown into a sedation. Who could have been ignore a woman’s sensual figure and honey chatting since I was a chronic bachelor?

 

She was infamous in seducing men for money at that time. Once she agreed to meet a Dental Doctor at Cochin for enjoying his company. But that doctor’s wife caught her red handed and shot down her. She cheated two guys through a porn site as she offered them escort service and disguised that she had high class ladies to sleep with. She did all these with the mask of a writer! I ignored all of it, because of my deep love. Yet again I supported her for avoiding online whoring. She tried to seduce many men, but no one fell into her trap. I never blamed her. Instead, tried to correct her so long. But I was helpless.

 

Oh, Sorry.  Again I divert my narration. Where we finished?

Yes, She called me when I was in the shrine of Chidambaram. Lord of destroyer! In front of him I prayed for her. For her family, for her writing career.

Lord Siva blessed her with a wealthy young man as well as he destroyed me after my prayer !!! What a God he is?! My money. My prayer. Blessings went to her. Gods also chasing female ASS!!! Who said man is a sitting duck?! May be myself. Anyway its true. In front of a woman man is a sitting duck!

 

Can you imagine for what purpose she called me?

 

I know some of you imagine crazy things like…. about her menstrual bleeding or gas trouble. Don’t do it. Don’t do it.

For me she is a Goddess!

So there is no menstrual bleeding or fart. No stone has any such feelings or emotions what we human experiencing.

 

Let us come to the point. She called me for not sharing her love but for requesting my financial support. At that time I had no enough money for my own survival. But she is my Goddess of  love. So I could not ignore her. What I did was I sold my gold ring for a cheap price. Then I walked here and there for five kilo meters to find out her bank branch to credit money.

 

Dear readers,  I have another request. Until and unless you can’t trust your eyes, don’t trust your foot wear. You know, what my foot wear did? It also betrayed me? My foot wear which had been bearing me for long, that I agreeing, But without any sympathy it back bit me like my lady Goddess.

It was broken!

Suddenly I thought it was God’s plan. He was testifying me of my true love.

I was in a dilemma!

Whether buy a new foot wear or walk with the old broken one?

If I buy a new one then how could I send money to my lady Goddess?!

Confusion…. confusion…

 

I could not see my lady Goddess anywhere around me to suggest to buy new foot wear instead of sending her money!

This is what we call blind love.

I was blinded with a fake Goddess!!!

Finally I decided to walk with that old one.

 

“Dear God, you can’t defeat me since my love is true.

So it is not your cup of coffee. Mind your own business and get lost from my way!” I whispered without hesitation.

 

I had been walking again as a lame without a lament. Because I have a Godess to bless me with love. I was proud with a lame leg!

She might have been laughing at me from heaven when i was waking as a lame!

If you saw me at that moment definitely you should have been in confusion that which leg was truly lame!

I did not feel embarrass when I walked like a lame!

But…..when she betrayed me…. I was broken into pieces.

See again tears…

Once she wrote….”rains and memories, both shower on us and make us wet. Only difference, our body gets drenched by the downpours while memories wet our eyes as our mind recalls them”.

Yes. She was right. My memories not only wet my eyes but it blurred my whole vision.

Dear readers do you know one truth? How can you?

It was my observation Lol.

Man is physically strong but mentally weak. That’s why I am lamenting about my lost love.

 

She once told me that her old lover betrayed her for someone after he stole her gold necklace!!! The same she betrayed me for a wealthy bald man. A weak publisher. She herself addressed him as Dr. Faustus who struggling to write poems.

 

She denied many times the truth that her affection towards him. But there are unethical evidences of her wishes, she expressed through words and images. With my money she met him privately then posted a poem about her wish to sleep with him.

 

My beloved readers do remember, don’t study psychology in any circumstances. I am telling from my own experience. My MSC psychology helps me to become a lunatic!!!

ha.ha.ha… such a fool I was!?

Believed her blindly. Spent my small savings for her love.

What I said? my small savings? I am a liar.

Do you think that an orphan has his own savings?  See, my savings are my blind love. It was stolen from me. Now I am a big zero. But mathematicians say zero has its own value. Whenever you add zero your value increases. So don’t ignore a zero but beware it!!!

 

Betrayal is nobody’s birth right.  Am I true? Catherine betrayed Heathcliff  for Edgar. Then Heathcliff  what to do? Myself what to do? We also have our own right since we want to be loved. Is that a crime? If it is a crime then i am ready to accept any punishment even though it will be a death sentence. I will accept it with a soft smile.

Just imagine a tragic hero walking towards death with proud!

My walking towards death is not at all my death. But it is the death of truth. It is the death of beauty. It is the death of soul. It is the immortal death!!!

©-Vijay P Nair -2017

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