At the Diner

The two extraterrestrials went to a diner near the entrance to Manhattan’s Lincoln Tunnel to try classic earth food. They took a booth. The waitress, whose name was Florence, and who would refuse service to anybody who called her Flo, gave them a couple of menus and said, “I’ll be back in a few minutes, Hons.”

“Does she think we’re Hons?” one extraterrestrial asked the other, in their own language, of course.

“I don’t know why she would,” the other replied. “We don’t have scales or wings.”

They perused the menus, and soon Florence returned to take their order.

“So, what can I get you?” Florence asked.

“I’ll have a grilled cheese sandwich,” one said.

“I’ll have a hamburger,” the other said.

“How would you like your burger?”

“Probably very much,” the extraterrestrial said.

“No, how would you like it cooked. Rare? Medium? Well?”

“Rare sounds expensive, so I guess well sounds good.”

“All right, one grilled cheese, and one burger, well. I’ll be back shortly with your orders.”

The two extraterrestrials looked around the diner and commented on how funny all the diner diners looked. Then Florence returned with their food.

“Thanks,” both extraterrestrials said in unison.

“Can I ask you folks something?” Florence asked.

“Sure,” the grilled cheese extraterrestrial said.

“Where are you folks from?”

The burger extraterrestrial told her the name of their planet.

“Sorry, I didn’t catch that.”

Burger extraterrestrial repeated the name of their planet. It was nothing like Florence had ever heard before.

“Don’t know it,” Florence said. “Must be in Jersey.”

Peter Cherches’ latest book is Everything Happens to Me, an episodic novel about the misadventures of a Brooklyn writer named Peter Cherches.