Strange Signs
Walking on these roads
the stones look weather beaten
ruins of ancient civilisation
the monoliths stagger as if
carrying a burden of centuries
All the time the hills watch
roaming movements of a world
where the plot thickens
The hills, the trees and rivers
meditate on a stark world
where at night the bird prays
and a whole century opens
into abyss of ages, the whistling wind
makes a foray into houses and nests
Man and animal are at peace
Only the hills brood over strange
signs.
An Open Letter To All Poets
28th March 2026. Is there any significance at all, being alive today?
Today too many innocent people will be killed in the war zones, too many had already lost their precious life, no matter how strong and abysmal their belief was on the almighty God!
Humanity thrives not on love and compassions, but on technological advancement of the killing machines with lethal and brutal powers.
Humanity cannot save innocent people but can witness genocidal massacres without even feeling any shame or remorse. Humanity seldom bears the responsibility to uphold peace and prosperity, but more often remains complicit in the crime against humanity.
Yes, it is not even any assumption. It is the basic fact, practical truth that we, working with words and emotions; writers and poets alike have failed measurably. We have failed to promote love and compassion. We have failed to awaken true sense of humanity, the indispensable dignity of being human. We have failed to spread harmony and empathy. Our words didn’t make any difference, didn’t overcome the power of nuclear bombs, hypersonic missiles, deadly aircraft carriers. Our words didn’t withstand the greed of the power brokers around the globe. We, working with words and emotions remained too naïve to see through our incompetency, our vulnerability, our weaknesses! We remained too insignificant to bring any radical change to the present world order. The world order of Genocide, massacres, and abysmal injustices. We remained buried under our incompetent words, our worthless emotions and our ineffective will. Too feeble to make any impact at all.
A SOUL BIGGER THAN BORDERS
(International Poet & Author Rev. Dr. Jitender Singh, India)
The world is carved by borders drawn by restless hands,
Yet no line can divide what the silent soul understands.
Languages may differ, and colors may divide,
Yet one ancient echo lives quietly inside.
Some rise with the East, some fade in the West,
Yet one breath of eternity dwells in every chest.
Hatred builds its walls, rigid, fearful, and tall,
But love, like light, still rises—unconquered by all.
We name the Divine in a thousand different ways,
Yet one unseen Light ignites all inner flames.
The body may be bound by the lines we design,
But the soul was born free—untouched by space and time.
THE WAILING OF A BROKEN SOUL
I walked alone, from the day
I set my feet on the path of truth
Betrayals and temptations accompanied me
The pain of life made me weary and thirsty
Weary from it’s trials and tribulations
Yet still, i walked
It felt like i was walking on a hot sand
A sand burning with coal and brimstone
Like I was tied upside down to a pole
And plunged down into a volcano
To be eaten up by the burning larvae
Yet still, i walked
I walked along the halls of agony
Echoes of misfortune honked
Like a horn from a train
Evil besieged me
Like a young married woman
Who turned widow at dawn
Yet still, i walked
Beggaring the Imagination
by
Sandro Piedrahita
February 11, 2026
7500 words
Pride cometh before the fall.
Proverbs 16:18
“There are loves that kill,” Narciso Cienfuegos’ Cuban grandmother used to say in Spanish. Perhaps if Narciso’s mother Fernanda had loved him a little less, or loved him in a different way, everything that eventually happened could have been avoided. Fernanda did not prepare Narciso for the vicissitudes of life but trained him to be a prince. She taught him to be considerate to nobody. He didn’t have to make his bed, never had to wash his laundry, had no chores to perform. Everything was done for him by Fernanda, who convinced her son there was no one on the planet as gorgeous or as bright as him. By the time he was in the tenth grade, Fernanda typed all his high school essays even though she came back from work at the bank exhausted. By the time he first became interested in girls, she persuaded him that none were deserving of his love, perhaps feeling some sort of jealousy herself. She never trained him to have a co-worker or a secretary or a wife, never taught him of the need for gentleness and empathy. And so Narciso grew to be selfish and self-absorbed, never caring a whit about how others felt, seeing life in a distorted way. Not surprising that by the time he was sixteen, he fell headlong in love with the reflection of himself.
Narciso began to spend hours in the bathroom, delighting in the face that gazed at him with avid eyes from the other side of the looking glass. When his uncle Cesar found out about it, he admonished Narciso to stop spending so much time in the restroom for he suspected Narciso was using the occasion to masturbate. And Cesar was not wide off the mark. Sometimes when he was staring at himself in the mirror Narciso imagined he was making love to the image of himself. Sometimes Fernanda found his bed sheets soiled by his own secretions but said nothing. She didn’t know they were produced by love of self. By the time he was in college – Princeton University no less – he derived a great satisfaction lifting weights in front of a full-length mirror in the gym, for it allowed him to see how he was gradually sculpting his body and becoming more and more perfect in his eyes and – Narciso imagined – in the eyes of all who saw him. It was around that time that he began taking on lovers left and right, never seeking a long-term relationship but only the occasional furtive encounter and the one-night stand. Month by month, year by year, his libidinousness only increased.
“I am who I am,” he would respond if anyone questioned his behavior. “I was born this way. What can I say? Women and men are attracted by my beauty.”
Narciso usually consorted with women – tall and short, thin and heavy, young and older, drunk and sober – but he was also decidedly heteroflexible although he was never the passive partner in such encounters. How could he be? In bedding men, he was not seeking to be possessed but to possess an approximation of himself. In a word, it was only another form of nocturnal pollution, an act of auto-sex. He was only allowed to gaze in the mirror at what he could not touch, and so provide a little satisfaction for his demented passion. His unquenchable lust knew no bounds but he was never satisfied with any lover. The ultimate focus of his desires was not the habitual lover but his own taut muscular body. And he could certainly never make love to himself though sometimes that is what he imagined in his tortured trysts as he shut his eyes.
“Narciso, Narciso,” he sometimes cried out in the night in anguish, “how I dream of making you my own!” Secretly he desired himself, and the one who praised was himself praised, the one who courted was himself courted, so that, equally, he inflamed and burnt.
And so what had to happen happened with little Carlito, a nineteen-year-old freshman from Puerto Rico who usually spotted Narciso as he was bench-pressing in the Princeton gym. Standing in such proximity to Narciso as he lifted the weights, his crotch only a few inches from the other’s face, Carlito felt a frisson of desire given Narciso’s beauty – his strong biceps, his perfect thorax, his shapely silhouette – but it was more than mere concupiscence. It was an incipient love, a desire for communion with the older student that grew more and more intense each time Carlito saw Narciso in the gym. One afternoon, while they were alone in the communal showers, Narciso abruptly made Carlito his own and Carlito delighted in his arms. Carlito had never been with a man and had never known such guilty pleasure even though he also felt a pang of shame as thick as mud. After all, Carlito was a Roman Catholic and the Catholic Church proscribes intimate relations between men. But Narciso’s embrace was so enticing, his caresses so inviting that Carlito ignored all scruples. And yet the next time Carlito addressed Narciso, the lovely man acted as if nothing had happened between the two.
“When can I see you again?” Carlito wanly asked after several days of silence from Narciso.
Narciso responded with a laugh.
“You can see me every day at the gym.”
“That’s not exactly what I meant,” Carlito explained. “I was wondering if you could join me for drinks in my dorm room tonight.”
“Listen, Carlito, what happened between us was a one-time escapade. I wouldn’t think too much about it. I don’t intend for it to be repeated.”
“But you took advantage of the feelings I have for you, Narciso. I had never thought of myself as a homosexual until the day I met you. And I must admit I’m somewhat disturbed by the realization. When you took me, I was terrified and elated all at once.”
“So you’ve realized that you’re gay? Don’t blame me for your moment of self-discovery. It happens to the best of them.”
“You weren’t exactly unable to perform,” Carlito remonstrated with an implacable hostility. “If I’m a homosexual, so are you. Your body certainly responded to my kisses.”
“Depart! Get out of here! I don’t need to hear lessons on my own sexuality from you, you little gay boy. Go find yourself another secret lover and leave me in peace. There are plenty of homosexuals in this university.”
“So our moment meant nothing to you,” Carlito lamented. “Had I known that, I would never have consented. I thought with you I would find happiness.”
“If it hadn’t happened with me, it would have happened with someone else. It’s in your nature, Carlito. Just forget what happened between the two of us. I’ve already forgotten all about it.”
“You deceived me, Narciso. You said such beautiful things to me. You quoted such lovely poems on same-sex love. I remember the stanzas today. ‘I want to possess you completely,” you said. “Your jade body and your promised heart.’”
“Listen, Carlito, I’m not gay. I mostly sleep with women. And even then, the relationships – such as they are – last about a week, a month at most. Remember Mary Oliver’s poems. At one point she writes: ‘And, oh, have I mentioned that some of them were men and some were women … and the best, the most loyal for certain, who looked so faithfully into my eyes, every morning from the looking glass…’ She was referring to love of self, to the delights of auto-sex.”
Then Narciso added, without a hint of shame but more than a little arrogance, “I am the very definition of promiscuous. You are one in a long list of partners, little Carlito. Forget about it if you can.”
***
Narciso decided to spend his junior year abroad studying French literature in Paris. His mother got him a job as a teller at a branch of the Bank of America so that he could make a little extra money before his departure for Europe. But Narciso felt the job was far beneath him and treated the other workers with disdain. Here he was, a Princeton undergraduate no less, having to share the same work as tellers who had only finished high school. He neglected even the most basic duties and would have been promptly fired were it not for the fact that he was only hired to work at the bank for three months anyway. At all events, he expected his mother Fernanda would somehow provide the money so that he could live regally in France. He had never lacked for money while he was at Princeton even as his mother lived on rice and lentils so she could satisfy his every whim.
During his first week in France, he visited a discotheque named La Scala de Paris and struck oil like the wildcatter he was: a shy British girl named Charlotte Rogers who had just been dumped by her boyfriend and needed reassurance that she was lovely. During his summers away from college, while he was living in Los Angeles, he frequented nightclubs as religiously as his mother went to Mass, every weekend without fail, searching for lonely, broken, wounded women who needed a little loving and affirmation, una miguita de ternura as Mercedes Sosa wrote in a song about a woman “who bore every sin on her skin.” By then Narciso had long ceased going to Church for he had concluded he was too brilliant to believe in God. Of course that meant he engaged in the great spiritual battle against the Dog completely disarmed: no Mass, no Holy Eucharist, no Sacrament of Reconciliation. Had he listened to the reading of the Scriptures in Church, he would have recognized how vile he was in the eyes of God. After all, Saint John the Baptist furiously called Herod to repentance and threatened hell if he did not sever a sexual relationship with his brother’s wife. Had Narciso heard the Gospel message, he would have realized the precariousness of the way he lived. If Herod could suffer damnation because of a single illicit lover, where did that leave Narciso who had more than a dozen lovers in a year? But Narciso never heard the message for he never went to Church. He was walking blind and his need to be admired for his beauty and intelligence never ceased. So many were infatuated by his presence that his self-love knew no bounds!
One night, shortly after he began his coursework with NYU in Paris, Narciso was invited to a party at the apartment of a fellow student. He was immediately attracted to a woman sitting in a sofa with a friend as they were nursing drinks. One of them was named Valerie, the other Laurence, both literature students at la Sorbonne. Physically they could not have been more different from each other. Valerie was a lovely nubile woman with golden hair and eyes of turquoise, Laurence a short, overweight girl with close-cropped hair and a disfiguring mole over her right eyebrow. Narciso tried to impress Valerie with his knowledge of French literature and soon began to expound on the virtues of Flaubert’s Madame Bovary. He made various comments parroting the lessons he had learned from Julia Kristeva and Serge Doubrovsky, two literary critics known on both sides of the Atlantic, and threw around words like hermeneutics, semiotics, and autofiction. Valerie for her part had little to say. Not so her obese friend, who offered a trenchant analysis of Flaubert’s novel while eschewing the tropes of literary criticism then in vogue. She was certainly not intimidated by Narciso’s mind even as his body made her tremble.
“Emma Bovary’s suicide beggars the imagination,” said Laurence. “It is barely comprehensible. Here was a woman with a loving husband and a five-year-old daughter who nonetheless swallowed the bitter arsenic, not thinking about the family she was abandoning.”
“Do you think the story is not true-to-life?” asked Narciso. He had read the novel, but had not understood it, as he had failed to understand many other great works of Western literature.
“No, that’s not what I meant,” responded Florence. “If you read the text closely, there is a certain logic to what Emma does – a twisted logic, a perverse logic perhaps but a logic nonetheless. She didn’t die by her own hand because she was financially ruined. That would be a surface reading of the novel. She took her own life because she finally realized that all her aspirations about herself were built on sand. She longed to live the life of one of the heroines in the romance novels which she read and recognized her life was much more mundane. Even her illicit lovers disappointed her in the end since they didn’t share her dreams of passion. They offered her a base adultery – something dirty, something foul – when what she wanted was a rapture fitting one of the heroines of her romantic tales.”
“So her self-destruction was somehow justified in your view?” asked Narciso.
“Not at all,” responded Laurence. “Madam Bovary was a solipsistic wicked being who cared about no one but herself. Hers was an unbounded egocentricity. And in the end she couldn’t even love herself.”
For some reason Narciso felt uncomfortable listening to Laurence’s analysis of Flaubert’s text but he could not pinpoint why.
“Then why is it considered a great work of literature,” he asked, “if the heroine was as wicked as you say?”
“The novel teaches the reader something powerful about the human condition, the distinction between love of self and love of others. Misread it at your peril.”
But Narciso didn’t understand and made short shrift of her advice. It was not the first time he had been offered the grace of self-recognition and had ignored it in his blind self-ignorance. He would continue to live a life of endless and meaningless fornication to the end.
***
Soon the crowds dwindled and it became clear it was time to leave. Narciso decided it was time to make his move. He had been lusting after Valerie all night and felt a hot desire for the woman.
“Why don’t we continue the night at la Maison Americaine? That’s the dormitory where I live, as well as a hundred other foreign students. We can continue discussing the works of Flaubert, Proust and Balzac over a bottle of wine. I’m currently writing an essay on Celine’s Journey to the End of the Night and would be delighted to hear your impressions.”
“Why don’t the two of you go without me,” said Valerie. “You two know a lot more about literature than I do. And I’m currently living in a convent which rents rooms to college students. The rule is that we must arrive no later than midnight.”
“Why don’t you go with me anyway,” objected Narciso in a desperate gambit. “There is an extra room at the Maison Americaine for guests to use.”
It would not be the last time he lied that night.
“I’m afraid that’s impossible,” responded Valerie. “The nuns wouldn’t be too happy if I arrived at the convent in the morning. But you should go, Laurence. I’m sure Narciso would be delighted to hear your marvelous disquisitions on French literature.”
“I’m afraid I must also decline,” Laurence stated. “Tomorrow is Sunday and I like to make it to Mass at seven.”
Narciso thought it was the last chance to satisfy the cravings which had been building up over the preceding four hours and saw Laurence as some sort of consolation prize. He wasn’t attracted by Laurence – in fact found her quite repugnant – but had always told himself sex is sex no matter how unattractive your partner is.
“Don’t they have Masses at twelve o’clock?” asked Narciso. “In Los Angeles,” he lied, “I used to go to Church at noon.”
“He’s right,” Valerie intervened. “You can also go to Mass in the afternoon. Go with him, Laurence. You’ll have fun. And Narciso is clearly interested in intellectual women and none is as smart as you.”
“Is that right?” Laurence shyly asked Narciso. “Are you drawn to women for their minds?”
“Bien sur,” responded Narciso in his Spanish-accented French with panache. “A woman’s physical beauty lasts for a few years. A beautiful mind lasts for a lifetime. And if you want, I could join you for Mass tomorrow.”
Laurence looked at Valerie seeking reassurance.
“So you think it’s a good idea?” she asked.
“A very good idea,” responded Valerie.
“Are you familiar with the poetry of Pablo Neruda?” Narciso inquired. “I just bought a copy of his Twenty Poems of Love and a Song of Despair in French. Perhaps we might read them over a bottle of wine.”
“I don’t know much about Latin American poets,” said Laurence. “But I’d love to learn. So yes, I’ll go with you. As long as there’s an empty room for guests.”
Narciso and Laurence took a taxi to la Maison Americaine. When they arrived, it became clear that there was a party in one of the rooms close to Narciso’s bedroom. Narciso then told Laurence to let him walk alone to Room 127. She could follow him five minutes later. Laurence didn’t understand the purpose of the request, but she imagined men living in the Maison weren’t allowed to bring female guests to their rooms at night. The truth was that Narciso didn’t want anyone to see him with the obese, short-statured and disfigured Laurence, for he was embarrassed by her company. It was one thing to bed a lovely woman. It was altogether different to make love to an eyesore. And yet that was what he intended even though he knew that to succeed he had to make Laurence feel desirable, to persuade her she was beautiful at least in his sight.
Narciso’s small room was sparsely furnished: just a bed, a chair and a desk. He invited Laurence to sit on the bed and she reacted with trepidation.
“You can sit with me,” he said. “I’m not going to bite you.”
Then he added in a mordant voice, “Unless you want me to,” and laughed.
“No, that’s fine,” said Laurence somewhat uneasily. “I can sit on the bed because as a Catholic I know you’ll respect me. You don’t act like those who live promiscuously like animals. Now where is that little book of poems by Neruda which you want to share with me?”
“First, let’s have a little wine. I can sense that you’re a little nervous. Beautiful women like you are always in danger from immoral men so I don’t question your reaction. But you’ll relax with a little Merlot and you have no reason to fear me.”
After they chitchatted for a little while, sipping wine, Narciso took out the book of Neruda poems from a drawer of his desk and began to read. In the middle of one of the poems, once the bottle of wine was almost finished, he repeated one of its lines and told Laurence it was his favorite.
“And the cups of your breasts! And your eyes full of absence! And the pubic roses of your mound! And your voice slow and sad! Body of my woman, I will live on through your delights.”
“Don’t you love it?” asked Narciso. “Neruda was the champion of carnal love. He loved women’s bodies with an almost religious veneration. ‘And the pubic roses of your mound.’ Who else could have written a poem with such a sublime eroticism without lapsing into the grotesque?”
Laurence was disturbed. She had never discussed female anatomy with a man, certainly not women’s sexual organs. And yet she was also in some way excited, moved to what her priests called thoughts of concupiscence. When Narciso spoke of “the pubic roses of your mound,” it was as if he was addressing her directly. His words made her remember that for all her flaws she inhabited the body of a woman and made her think that was the way Narciso saw her, as a coveted woman and nothing less.
“I think we should call it a night,” said Laurence nervously, fighting the instinct to sweat. “Where is the room for guests that you mentioned?”
Narciso sensed her vulnerability and decided to pounce. It was now or never.
“Listen,” he told her as he put his hand on one of her legs and started gently rubbing, “I think we have an intense relationship ahead of us. But that would only work out if you forgo your old-fashioned scruples, all the obscurantist taboos that keep lovers apart by bridling feelings. I desire you, Laurence. I desire you with all my soul.”
Then he kissed her and she did not resist the kiss.
***
Laurence slept at the Maison Americaine for the next two weeks. At some point Narciso decided it was time to sever the relationship but he felt a certain reluctance to do so. It was not that he felt compassion for her – he couldn’t care less about her feelings – but he dreaded her reaction for he was sure she would react in anger as so many of his lovers had done after they realized the extent of his deception. But one time, after a final night of loving, he confessed that he was no longer interested in seeing her. He could have told her he needed to work out matters in his own mind or some such bromide, but he opted to tell her the cruel truth instead. He was utterly indifferent to the needs of others and that included the miserable Laurence.
“When Neruda wrote his twenty love poems of love, it was not because he was rapt by his partner’s intelligence. It was because he was transfixed by her erotic beauty. There’s a reason his most famous poem is ‘Body of a Woman’ and not ‘Mind of a Woman.’ And I suffer from the same affliction. I can discuss Flaubert and Proust and Celine with any other woman – heck, with any other man! – and I don’t need to be involved in a sexual relationship with them in order to do so. But to share a bed with a woman I need to be fiercely attracted to her. And you don’t attract me in that way, Laurence. I would be deceiving you if I continued seeing you. To have a woman as an ongoing lover, I need to be aroused in the depths of my being.”
“You’ve certainly been aroused every night of the last two weeks,” reacted Laurence defensively. “There was not a single time you were unable to perform.”
Then Narciso responded brutally, “That was only because I imagined myself in the arms of another lover when I was in bed with you. I’m sorry, but that’s the truth. I closed my eyes and dreamed that I was with another. Away with your encircling hands! You can keep your chains! You didn’t let me take you because of love but because of a rank stupidity.”
He didn’t tell her the one he desired was himself.
“Tell me the truth, Narciso,” asked Laurence, perplexed, surprised and enraged at the same time. “Is that why you never let the two of us be seen together in public? Is that why you told me to walk to your room alone? Is that why you never took me to the cafeteria in the basement? Is that the reason you never took me to a restaurant or another public venue? Because you were too embarrassed to be seen with me…”
“How can I put it?” responded Narciso witheringly. “A man is judged by the clothes he wears and the woman at his side. If we were out together, what would people think?”
“You’re a monster, Narciso Cienfuegos. Your mind is completely twisted. You took the rose of my virginity and yet weren’t attracted to me in the least.”
Narciso laughed.
“You should thank me for having initiated you in the glories of erotic passion. Now you are free to take on other lovers as is your wont. And it’s not impossible, Laurence. You just have to lose a little weight, let your close-cropped hair grow a little longer, perhaps undergo an operation to remove that ugly mole.”
Laurence covered up her naked breasts.
“I never want to see you again,” she told Narciso. “Your cruelty knows no bounds. You didn’t treat me like a woman but as a piece of meat. Surely you will be eventually punished for such depravity. You should consort only with whores but I have a sense that you delight in debauching virgins.”
A month later, Narciso received a short letter from Laurence.
“The more I think about it, the more my blood boils at your deception. You even pretended you were a Catholic when you are an unrepentant atheist. However, there is something I need to discuss with you and time is of the essence. Please let me know when we might meet.”
Narciso took the letter and threw it in a trashcan. He had no intention to meet with her again, but soon he found Laurence waiting for him in front of room 127 at the Maison Americaine.
“What do you want?” he asked with a grimace on his face. “I thought I was fairly clear when we last met. Our relationship is over. Please don’t grovel.”
Laurence handed him a piece of paper.
“What is this?” Narciso asked.
“Just read it,” demanded Laurence.
Narciso put on his eyeglasses and realized it was a note from a gynecologist stating that she was pregnant.
“What is this to me?” asked Narciso imperturbably. “If you weren’t using birth control at the time of our encounters, it was to be expected. At any event, this can be easily solved through an abortion. I’ll do the right thing and pay for the procedure.”
“I’m a Catholic, don’t you remember? I have every intention to bring the child to term.”
“Well, that is certainly your right. But I have nothing to do with it. Surely you don’t expect me to marry you because we spent a couple of weeks together.”
“Under French law,” responded Laurence with unmitigated scorn and an almost murderous intensity, “I can get an order from the court forcing you to contribute to the support of the product of your vicious loins. You’ll have to get a job and make a payment to me every month. After all, you didn’t even have the decency to use a condom.”
“I don’t want you to be part of my life indefinitely,” Narciso said with an impatient gesture on his face. “By the time you get a court order directing me to pay child support, I’ll be in the United States, far from the reach of French tribunals.”
“I don’t need your filthy money to feed my child. But I curse you, Narciso. I curse you with all my might for your abominable behavior. May you fall madly, hopelessly in love and may it be an unrequited love! May you feel what you have made me feel. May you suffer as you have made me suffer. So may you love, Narciso, and may you fail to conquer what you love!
***
By the time he was in his third year at Yale Law School, Narciso kept a tally of all his male and female lovers. Fifty-three! Fifty-three! What was a vice in the sight of God, Narciso saw as a virtue which filled his pride. But in some sense he hated them, for the one who inflamed his passion was himself and they could never provide that to him. His abiding passion for himself could never be reciprocated no matter how many lovers he took on. By then, he had tri-fold mirrors in the bedroom of his apartment. He delighted in pulling them together such that his extraordinary beauty seemed to be multiplied a hundred times. He felt he was more handsome than ever, his hair was carefully coiffed, his muscles bulged under his shirt and his nails were perfectly manicured. But then something strange and wondrous happened: he fell in love with someone other than himself for the first time and for the first time in years thought about someone other than himself.
Her name was Mariana Rivera, a Puerto Rican girl from Ponce who was attending Wellesley College, a twenty-year-old with alabaster skin, auburn hair held in a barrette and deep brown eyes. And she was brilliant! Narciso had lied when he told Laurence that intelligence in a sexual partner held no interest for him. The truth is that it was a powerful aphrodisiac but only when the woman was physically lovely to begin with. Beauty and intelligence were a powerful combination for Narciso as they are for many men and women. And Mariana was familiar with all the Latin American and Spanish poets that he loved. The first time they made love, she rhapsodized, both before and after the moment of jouissance, about Neruda’s Body of A Woman. ‘I forged you like a weapon, like an arrow in my bow,” she cried out, “like a stone in my sling… and I love you.” Then she pulled Narciso toward her by pulling at his jet black hair and curled up in his arms.
The first time that Narciso saw Mariana, he was at Mory’s Drinking Club, hoping to find a lover for the night, and was powerfully moved by the sight of the Puerto Rican girl. He felt a visceral attraction to her and from the very outset knew that she was not someone he wanted merely for a one-night stand. And so he didn’t make a pass at her that first night. He mainly spoke to her about his love of poems and his grandmother’s love for flowers, about some friends he cherished, such that by the end of the night she was convinced he was a man of a great nobility of spirit and didn’t hesitate to provide him with her number. Narciso wondered whether she would be the unrequited love of Laurence’s curse but soon concluded that she wasn’t as Mariana seemed to adore him and she always greeted him with joy. They soon began to spend every weekend together, sometimes in New Haven, Connecticut, sometimes in Wellesley, Massachusetts, and the months they spent together before their marriage were the happiest of Narciso’s life.
Aside from her intelligence and beauty, he delighted in her ebullient laughter, her mirthful personality, the fact she seemed to love life with an unbridled pleasure. And he was faithful to her! For the first time in his life, he abandoned love of self and didn’t seek solace from his solitude in other men or women. By the time she was pregnant with their child, he felt that no love could surpass the passion he felt for the baby in Mariana’s womb. He was terrified during her labor, afraid the child he already loved might be stillborn given how long it took Mariana to give birth. But old habits die hard and after Odette’s birth Narciso strayed again. For the first time in his life he wasn’t looking for temptation but temptation found him nonetheless.
It was his beauty – his cursed beauty – that moved Sharon McGivney to seduce him. By then, he was a junior associate with a white shoe law firm in Los Angeles and Sharon was the partner who ran the litigation department. They were jointly working on a brief in connection with a case brought against their client, Meat Cleaver Industries, by a butcher whose hands had been mutilated by a grinder. They worked on their motion all night, since it was due the next day, and only finished it by five in the morning, by which time there were no other lawyers at the firm. And that is when the predator became the prey. The forty-year-old Sharon knew that Narciso’s advancement at the law firm depended on how she evaluated his work and decided to use her lofty position to advantage. So she appealed to his ambition as she dreamed of falling in his arms and making love to him.
“I see a great future for you,” she told him as she slowly moved closer to him. “Your legal research is impeccable and your legal writing is bar none. I have about ten other Meat Cleaver cases. The company gets sued by injured butchers left and right. You know all those butchers wouldn’t be maimed if they followed all the rules. How hard can it be to use the pusher for the meat? I want you to help me with all those cases since you’re the best of our new associates.”
“Thank you for the compliment,” replied Narciso. “I guess I’ll be going now. I’ll be back by noon to see everything gets filed.”
“Why don’t you stay a while?” Sharon purred. “There’s no hurry. My secretary will take care of all the filing so you can take tomorrow off. You’ll see. We’ll have fun.”
Then she placed both arms about his neck and kissed him fully on the mouth.
Narciso did not recoil. Instead, he gave himself fully to her embrace, not even thinking about Mariana. Soon they were lying in the couch at her office, exchanging hungry kisses and caresses. For Narciso, it was as if a dam had broken, as if all the desires he had held in check for so many months had finally erupted. He bit her hard, leaving tiny bruises about her neck, and was elated when she achieved orgasm in his arms. From then on, they would often meet for bouts of lovemaking at her sprawling mansion in the Hollywood Hills, forcing Narciso to lie to Mariana constantly. He told his cuckolded wife – again and again – that he had to work late as he was preparing briefs that needed immediate filing the next day. Mariana suspected he had a paramour, but she didn’t confront her husband – she loved him so! – and accepted her fate with a muted impuissance. Soon Narciso was back to his old haunts, taking on lovers wherever he could find them. And Mariana continued saying nothing but her cheerfulness was gone, her ebullience disappeared and she briefly considered death by suicide. She understood exactly what her husband was doing with his time, all those nights of absence, all those weekends lost. Only the care of her daughter Odette helped her avoid complete despair.
Narciso wouldn’t be able to make use of the same lifeline in his night of anguish.
***
In every life, there is a tipping point, the moment when the past and the future are forever riven asunder. In Narciso’s life, that moment came when he met Isaac Gabrieli, Narciso’s doppelganger, his double, his twin. The Israeli man was a client of the firm, he was a Jew and Narciso did not know if he was straight or gay. From the first time Narciso met him, the young lawyer was struck by how physically similar the two men were. The resemblance was uncanny. Narciso and Gabrieli both had the same jet black hair, the same piercing blue eyes, the same taut muscular body, the same finely manicured white hands. And their facial features made them seem as one as well, the same full lips, the same fine aquiline nose, the same soft cheeks. From the very outset, Narciso felt he had finally met the object of all his unsated desires, a man as beautiful as him. Narciso immediately decided to bed him, for he would at long last be able to make love to a reflection of himself.
When Sharon McGivney introduced Gabrieli to Narciso, the young lawyer felt a cold sweat permeate his entire body and his heart stopped dead in his chest. Here at long last, he found himself in another human. After years of desperately searching for himself in bodies both male and female, fate had granted him the singular grace of letting him find what he had been longing for since childhood. When he first shook Gabrieli’s hand, Narciso felt he was about to faint, such was the pleasure which he derived from an act as simple as touching the other man’s long manicured fingers and feeling the white palms of his hands. Narciso felt an inordinate instinct to seduce him and felt at a loss for words, all the while being unable to take his eyes off the Israeli man.
“The two of you look like brothers,” observed Sharon McGivney. “It’s quite extraordinary.”
“They say every man has a double,” responded Gabrieli mirthfully. “Since there are billions on the planet, I’m sure we all have multiple doubles. The surprising thing is to find them.”
“Well, you two are going to be working together on the breach of contract action brought against you. I suggest you get together soon as a deposition is scheduled for early next month.”
“Why don’t we meet at the Jonathan Club at seven tonight?” Narciso suggested. “Then I can give you a general idea of the issues in the case. And then we can cap off the night by going to a nightclub. Would that suit you, Mister Gabrieli?”
“You can just call me Gabrieli. And yes, I’d be delighted to see the night life in L.A. I haven’t been here in years.”
That night they had a generous dinner at the Jonathan Club. Gabrieli was an intelligent man and understood all the legal claims against him. Then Narciso subtly brought up the issue of homosexuality, for he wondered whether Gabrieli too might be bisexual or heteroflexible. After all, since Gabrieli was a beautiful man, he must have been pursued by both men and women, just like Narciso. He might also have been attracted to a vision of himself.
“I am planning to take you to Xenon’s Club tonight,” said Narciso peeking at Gabreli through obsessive eyes. “It’s one of my favorite haunts, but it has a mixed clientele. I hope that doesn’t offend you.”
“Mixed clientele?” echoed Gabrieli.
“I just wanted to let you know that gays frequent the nightclub. It’s not technically a gay establishment per se since the majority of guests are heterosexual, but you will see more than one homosexual at Xenon’s if we go there tonight.”
“That wouldn’t bother me at all,” said Gabrieli. “Israel is one of the few countries outside Europe and North America where gays are protected under the law.”
Narciso was encouraged. At least Gabrieli wasn’t an out-and-out homophobe. But Narciso kept his fingers crossed. Perhaps, he thought, perhaps tonight I won’t have to make love to the looking glass!
Once they arrived at Xenon’s, they found a long queue of people waiting to enter the popular discotheque. It was just as Narciso had described it, many groups of heterosexuals as well as clusters of gay men showing off their muscled physiques in tight t-shirts or none at all, a trail of gays and straights hoping to be among the few allowed admission to the nightclub.
“See, you’ll fit right in,” said Narciso piquantly. “Your taut muscular body is as well-sculpted as any of the gay boys in the line.”
Gabrieli seemed to make nothing of the comment, apparently shrugging it off as a meaningless compliment. Narciso silently admired Gabrieli’s manly figure silhouetted against the neon lights of the discotheque as the two moved slowly among the throngs.
The crowds were so thick and dense that Narciso saw an opportunity. There were no open spaces in the large group awaiting entrance to the nightclub such that all the bodies were tightly fitted together shoulder to shoulder. In fact, Narciso and Gabrieli were so close to each other that they could smell each other’s breaths. And that is when Narciso made his initial gambit. As they were moving forward in the line, Narciso allowed his hand to lightly alight on Gabrieli’s crotch. But Gabrieli did not respond in any fashion. He did not move any closer to Narciso, as if he enjoyed the touching of his sex, but neither did he protest against Narciso’s action in horror. Perhaps, thought Narciso, Gabrieli had thought the contact was unintentional. Or perhaps Gabrieli was open to a more direct approach later in the evening. At all events, Gabrieli’s nonresponsive conduct was inscrutable. How could he not have realized that Narciso had looked on him all night, even during dinner and talk of depositions, with an inexpressible desire?
When they appeared at the entrance to the nightclub, Narciso and Gabrieli were shooed right in. Many of those standing ahead of them in the tumultuous throng had been turned away, but Narciso and Gabrieli were both so handsome that they were exactly the type of patron encouraged by the owners of the discotheque. The two sat down at a corner table adjacent to a group of gay men and Narciso ordered a bottle of champagne. At some point, once he was tipsy enough to be brave, after ordering and drinking a second bottle and a third bottle of champagne and rebuffing various requests to dance, Narciso finally decided to cut to the chase.
“A number of these queer boys are lovely, don’t you think?”
“I guess it all depends on whether you like men,” responded Gabrieli, vaguely ill at ease as he scrutinized Narciso with curiosity. “But yes, in a general manner, I would say many are what one would commonly call handsome, except perhaps for the transvestites. I find them somewhat grotesque.”
“I don’t find effeminate men attractive either,” confessed Narciso.
“To each his own,” said Gabrieli.
“Have you ever dabbled?” asked Narciso point-blank.
“Dabbled? What do you mean?”
“I was just wondering whether you’ve ever been with a man. You’re so gorgeous that I’m sure many men are attracted to you. I for one find you exquisite.”
“No, I haven’t,” Gabrieli answered, uncomfortable given the sexual tension of the moment. “I suppose you’re gay. Tell me, Narciso, are you making a pass at me?”
“I’m not technically gay. I think the correct term for men like me is heteroflexible. I’ve consorted with dozens of women and only a handful of men. And even when I’ve been with men, it was only because I wanted to have sex with someone who reminded me of myself. You’re my doppelganger and twin so you fit the bill. Tell me, Gabrieli, don’t you dream of making love to your mirror? You’ve been cursed with the same beauty as mine so I wouldn’t doubt it for a minute. Are you an autosexual just like me? That’s a word for a man who is primarily attracted to himself.”
“Making love to the mirror?” Gabrieli echoed. “That’s entirely demented, Narciso. Come, let’s call it a night. I’ll forget everything you’ve said tonight so we can continue our professional relationship and keep planning our legal strategy.”
Then they exited the nightclub and sat in Narciso’s golden BMW. The young lawyer was already feeling an unmitigated grief, as if someone had died, as if he himself was dead. When the key was already in the ignition, Narciso, his face full of tears, turned to Gabrieli and held him desperately by the arm.
“Don’t think it is animal lust and nothing more,” Narciso said. “You must understand that I’ve been waiting for you for a lifetime.”
“Just drive,” Gabrieli commanded. “And compose yourself, old man! I am strictly heterosexual and will never spend the night with you.”
Suddenly Narciso remembered Laurence’s curse, that one day he would truly fall in love and that it would be an unrequited love.
He lunged at Gabrieli, trying to kiss him fully in the mouth and loudly sobbing in despair.
“I want you so badly,” he cried out as his eyes burned with fire. “I want you like I’ve never wanted anyone before.”
Gabrieli pushed Narciso forcefully away and punched him in the face. A trickle of crimson blood ran down his chin. Crying convulsively, shaking from head to foot, Narciso exited the vehicle and ran out into the streets until he found a freeway overpass from which to jump.
As he was leaving, Gabrieli cried out, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. You’re just a little confused about things.”
“I am not confused at all,” Narciso riposted. “You attract me as honey attracts flies. There is no limit to my ardor for you which makes me burn inside.”
Without thinking of his wife Mariana or his daughter Odette, without thinking of his mother Fernanda for such was his despair, Narciso leapt into the vastness of infinity since he could not think of a life without Gabrieli and he could not think of another means to flee. It was a decision made in a moment, gestated for a lifetime, as inevitable as the sunset.
“There are loves that kill,” Narciso’s grandmother used to say.
Socio-Political Impact of Uzbekistan–United States Relations on Social Life: A Sociological Analysis
Student of the Faculty of History and Social Sciences,
Andijan State University
Abdumaxamediva Gulchexra
Email: abdumaxamedovagulchexra@gmail.com
Abstract: This article analyzes, from a sociological perspective, the impact of the mutual cooperative relations between Uzbekistan and the United States on the socio-political life of our country. The main objective of the study is to determine the role of the bilateral relations between the two countries in social changes within society, the education system, and the formation of political consciousness. The article provides an in-depth look at issues such as the influx of Western culture, the impact of exchange programs in education on the worldview of young people, and the socialization of Uzbek immigrants into American life.
Keywords: Cooperation, Socio-political, Sociological, Research, Western culture, Worldview.
Аннотация: В данной статье с социологической точки зрения анализируется влияние взаимоотношений сотрудничества между Узбекистаном и США на общественно-политическую жизнь нашей страны. Основная цель исследования – определить роль отношений между двумя странами в социальных изменениях в обществе, системе образования и формировании политического сознания. В статье подробно рассматриваются такие вопросы, как приток западной культуры, влияние программ обмена в сфере образования на мировоззрение молодежи, а также социализация узбекских иммигрантов в американской жизни.
Ключевые слова: сотрудничество, социально-политический, социологический, исследование, западная культура, мировоззрение.
Annotatsiya: Ushbu maqolada Oʻzbekiston va AQSH oʻrtasidagi oʻzaro hamkorlik aloqalarining mamlakatimiz ijtimoiy-siyosiy hayotiga koʻrsatayotgan taʼsiri sotsiologik nuqtayi nazardan tahlil qilingan. Tadqiqotning asosiy maqsadi ikki davlat munosabatlarining jamiyatdagi ijtimoiy oʻzgarishlar, taʼlim tizimi va siyosiy ong shakllanishidagi rolini aniqlashdan iborat. Maqola mazmunida gʻarb madaniyatining kirib kelishi, taʼlim sohasidagi almashinuv dasturlarining yoshlar dunyoqarashiga taʼsiri kabi masalalar, o‘zbeklarning Amerika hayotiga ijtimoiylashuvi atroflicha yoritilgan.
Kalit so‘zlar: Hamkorlik, ijtimoiy-siyosiy, sotsiologik, tadqiqot, g‘arb madaniyati, dunyoqarash,
Introduction
The outcomes achieved through cooperation between Uzbekistan and the United States are primarily aimed at improving the welfare of the population. The creation of new jobs, the introduction of modern technologies, opportunities for training qualified specialists, and economic stability are among the changes clearly reflected in the lives of our people. Based on this, it can be said that bilateral cooperation contributes to effective improvements in public welfare.
A vivid example of this was demonstrated during the meeting held within the framework of the 80th anniversary session of the UN General Assembly in New York City. The conversation between the presidents took place not only in an official diplomatic spirit but also in an atmosphere of sincerity and trust. This indicates that relations between the two countries have reached the level of a true strategic partnership.
It should also be noted that trade relations between the two countries have significantly expanded in recent years. In 2024, trade turnover reached a historic high of 882 million dollars.
The influence of Western culture has both positive and negative aspects. On the positive side, it contributes significantly to education and worldview development, such as expanding critical thinking, mastering new technologies, keeping up with modern times, enhancing creativity, acquiring global knowledge, and increasing attention to personal development. Individuals are becoming more focused on self-improvement rather than relying on others’ opinions, and they are paying greater attention to career growth. The widespread use of the English language is also a positive outcome.
However, there are also negative aspects. Every nation has its own traditions and unwritten values, such as language, respect for elders, and care for younger people. These values are at risk of weakening. For example, increased self-centeredness among youth may lead to disrespect. Changes in national dress styles, such as wearing shorts or overly colorful clothing, and the tendency to view modesty in communication as “outdated,” can also be considered negative consequences
Research Methodology
Using the observation method, we examined youth behavior in public transportation with respect to respect for elders. It was observed that some young people do not offer seats to older passengers, push to enter transport first, pretend to sleep, or hold a book while using their phones instead of actually reading.
We also used comparative analysis in studying clothing culture by comparing people’s clothing styles in the 2000s and in 2026. Clothing in the 2000s was more traditional, modest, and less attention-grabbing, whereas modern clothing tends to be more open, tight-fitting, and visually striking.
In terms of language culture, there is a growing tendency to mix Uzbek with foreign words. For example:
From these observations, it can be concluded that Western culture does not always bring only positive changes.
Results
The strengthening of strategic partnership relations between Uzbekistan and the United States, the activation of trade and investment cooperation, and the implementation of joint projects across various sectors of the economy have been discussed. In recent years, trade turnover has increased fourfold, reaching nearly 1 billion dollars.
More than 300 American companies are successfully operating in Uzbekistan. Major cooperative projects are being implemented in industry, agriculture, energy, and innovation sectors.
The growth of economic investments (with over 300 American companies operating) affects the population’s standard of living and social mobility. This, in turn, accelerates the integration of Western management styles and corporate culture into Uzbek society.
The Government of Uzbekistan signed a $300 million agreement with the John Deere Corporation to supply agricultural machinery. According to the U.S. Department of Commerce, half of this amount—$150 million—will be directed toward cotton harvesting equipment in Ankeny, Iowa. This agreement is part of a series of investment and trade projects within the “C5+1” framework, which includes Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan, Tajikistan, Turkmenistan, and Uzbekistan.
Additionally, Boeing and Uzbekistan Airways signed a final agreement for the delivery of 8 more Boeing 787 Dreamliner aircraft, increasing the total order to 22.
Analysis
Uzbekistan and the United States have also signed agreements on the extraction of rare metals, modernization of pumping stations, implementation of drip irrigation, and the supply of beans and cotton.
Former President Donald Trump announced an “incredible trade and economic deal” worth 100 billion dollars between the two countries.
The inflow of U.S. investments and technologies is opening new opportunities for young people. How does this happen? The presence of more than 300 American companies in Uzbekistan acts as a “social elevator,” motivating young people to learn foreign languages and modern technologies to achieve higher social status. This increases the social demand for knowledge among youth.
Conclusion
The conducted analysis shows that the new stage in Uzbekistan’s foreign policy, particularly the strategic and large-scale economic agreements with the United States, directly impacts all segments of society, especially the worldview of young people.
During the transition from the conservative approaches of the 2000s to today’s more open and technological society, an increased interest in American lifestyle and corporate culture among youth has been observed.
As identified in the research, economic investments (such as those by Boeing, John Deere, and in IT sectors) not only create new jobs but also shape new forms of social interaction.
In conclusion, Uzbekistan–U.S. relations serve as one of the key drivers accelerating the process of social modernization in society.
References
1.Bo‘riyev, A. (2025, 7-noyabr). O‘zbekiston — AQSH munosabatlari yangi bosqichda. Oliy Majlis Qonunchilik palatasi rasmiy sayti. https://parliament.gov.uz/uz/news/ozbekiston-aqsh-munosabatlari-yangi-bosqichda (https://www.google.com/search?q=https://parliament.gov.uz/uz/news/ozbekiston-aqsh-munosabatlari-yangi-bosqichda)
2.Gazeta.uz O‘zbekiston va AQSH o‘rtasidagi strategik hamkorlikning yangi bosqichi: 100 milliard dollarlik loyihalar. https://www.gazeta.uz/oz/2026/03/20/us-uzb-deal/ (https://www.google.com/search?q=https://www.gazeta.uz/oz/2026/03/20/us-uzb-deal/)
3.Kun.uz O‘zbekiston bozorida Amerika korporatsiyalari: Boeing va John Deere bilan hamkorlik kengaymoqda. https://kun.uz/news/2026/03/15/amerika-gigantlari (https://www.google.com/search?q=https://kun.uz/news/2026/03/15/amerika-gigantlari)
4.Kun.uz. (2026, 21-mart). Prezidentlar uchrashuvi: O‘zbekiston yoshlari uchun yangi imkoniyatlar va iqtisodiy o‘sish istiqbollari. https://kun.uz/news/2026/03/21/prezidentlar-uchrashuvi (https://www.google.com/search?q=https://kun.uz/news/2026/03/21/prezidentlar-uchrashuvi)
5.O‘zbekiston 24. (2025, 7-noyabr). Prezident Shavkat Mirziyoyevning AQSHga amaliy tashrifi tafsilotlari [Video]. YouTube. https://youtube.com/watch?v=GGhI5RFK7I8 (https://www.google.com/search?q=https://youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3DGGhI5RFK7I8)
Skid Row in Buffalo
It’s snowing in Havana, and I’m stuck in Buffalo,
Without a nickel to my name,
And my pants are falling down because I can’t afford a belt
Of rum, or even a banana,
I used to smoke cigars, drive big old fifties cars, sing rumbas in topless bars,
But now I’m on skid row, and there’s no skid row like Buffalo.
I want to go back to Havana, even though it’s snowing, nasty winds blowing,
I want to go back and sing a rumba
’Cause you can’t sing a rumba on skid row in Buffalo,
No you can’t sing a rumba on skid row in Buffalo.
It’s snowing down in Rio and I’m stuck in Buffalo,
It’s one-ten in the shade,
And my throat is parched and I can’t afford a lemonade,
Or legal aid or even a pot to piss in;
Oh, I used to date the girl from Ipanema, eat feijoada, sing sambas in topless bars,
But now I’m on skid row and there’s no skid row like Buffalo.
I want to go back to Rio, even if it’s snowing, ill winds blowing,
I want to go back and sing a samba,
‘Cause you can’t sing a samba on skid row in Buffalo,
No you can’t sing a samba on skid row in Buffalo.
I’d rather be in Chicago, where I can sing the blues,
I’d rather be in Italy where I can sing “Volare,”
I’d rather be in Paris where I can sing “La Vie en Rose,”
But I’m stuck up here in Buffalo and I can’t even blow my nose.
I want to go back to Havana, I want to sing a rumba,
I want to go back to Rio, I want to sing a samba,
But what can I sing in Buffalo?
Tell me, what can I sing on skid row in Buffalo?
What can I sing on skid row in Buffalo?