Essay from Chimezie Ihekuna (Mr. Ben)

About Mr. Ben: 

Though based in Lagos, Nigeria, Mr. Ben (Chimezie Ihekuna) is an internationally published and represented author, speaker, poet, writer and voice-over artiste. He enjoys reading edifying books, traveling and meeting people. Following the words of the great Greek philosopher, Socrates, who said ‘Employ your time by improving with other men’s writings so that you can gain easily what others labored hard for’, Mr. Ben, as he is fondly called, is poised to impact humanity in all spheres of life and human recognition. With his knowledge zenith, he is willing to disseminate valued and ageless information to all interested persons, groups and organizations-what he toiled to gain over the years.

Mr. Ben has a new book out, Maya Initiate 39: The Long Walk to Destiny.

It’s a novel about a young woman who makes it out of gang and criminal life to become a successful business leader. It’s available to order through publisher Penit Publications here. 

Deception 3

The “bad” girls get or end up marrying the “good” guys (vice versa).

Chimezie Ihekuna

Apparently, this is becoming an en vogue statement in utterances of many youths today. A question that should come to us is: “what results will the combination of colours white and black give”?

The term’s ‘bad’ as used in ‘bad’ girls and ‘good’ guys as used in ‘good’ guys will have to be looked into ‘bad’ as seen by the society is an a adjective describing certain actions which are not morally acceptable and possess more demerits than merits. On the other hand, the term ‘good’ refers to description of actions which are acceptable by the society and possess more merits than demerits. Therefore, the ‘good’ guys ore those who are morally upright and possess qualities that are encouraging the reverse is the case in the recognition of ‘bad’ girls.

There is a need to digress a bit. Some people say that ‘bad’ girls make good wives than ‘good’ girls; ‘bad’ guys make good husbands than ‘good’ guys. Tell me, how possible is it?

A ‘bad’ guy who had lived an age of fruitless youthful exuberance, a middle age of insecurity and doubt and if particularly not careful, will live an old age of regrets will suddenly make a good husband! ? It takes special grace and sheer determination to turn a new leaf.

We are looking at two deception-defined statements: The ‘bad’ girls get or end up marrying the ‘good’ guys and the ‘good’ girls get or end up marrying the ‘good’ guys”.


The “Bad” Girls Get Or End Up Marrying The “Good” Guys

Sometimes, it is fascinating to juxtapose these statements “like begets like” and “The ‘bad’ girls get or end up marrying the ‘good’ guys”. What a contradiction but they are used to address the same issue. What an irony!

Tell me, can an armed robber agree to go on a mission with a philanthropist? Can a mad man dance naked with a mentally alright man?

Most people end up marrying their type for instance, a club girl will likely end up having intimate relationship or even marrying a club guy.

Tentatively, it is observed that ‘bad’ girls do keep the company of ‘good’ guys, even marry them. Typically, it is like the motorist who observes a water logged express – way that is realistically a free path-way. Yet, people are of this “mirage” view. Only if they can motor a little closer, probably this view could have been realistically approached. How?

The following give the realistically approached observation made to the observed mirage, the statement “The ‘bad’ or end up marrying the ‘good’ guys”. Before the observation can be recognized, we must consider the apparent reasons this statement is fast becoming a household name.

Precisely, what would make ‘bad’ girl, after engaging not only failed relationships, slept with quite a number of men and done other defying acts in the past but also exhibited infidelity involve herself in a relatively steady relationship?. Three major reasons are involved (At this point, I stand to be corrected)

(1)  She is not physically attractive or appealing to her “made clients”, boyfriend, as bed mates owing to the emergence of younger and sexually appealing ladies.

(2)  Age is not on her side: Her biological clock is ticking against her “get involved in a relationship, even if it means pretending!”

(3)  She really wants to have children of her own (on inferred consequence of (2).

The realistically approached observations are:

(1)  The so-called “good” guys were once ‘bad’ but had turned a new leaf. Therefore, they anticipate the so-called ‘bad’ girls to do the same, whether married or not.

(2)  At same point in their lives, perhaps, their growing years, the ‘good’, though wanted to express a level of youth exuberance, were demised such “opportunity”. They did appreciate ladies who were wild and very flamboyant but were given the iron-hand discipline. Hence, the so-called ‘good’ description. Although this is not usually the case realistically, it speaks out a possibility as to the apparently observed statement. In a relationship or marriage, a ‘good’ guy with such a background may be with the so-called ‘bad lady.

(3)           Quite alright, the ‘good’ guy could be indeed very good in thoughts and intentions and end up being in a serious relationship with or even ending up marrying his selected ‘bad’ girls. If she eventually becomes a “bad girl-turned-good”, as the saying goes, you reap what you sow, there is a likelihood that if married, the ‘good’ guy could turn bad, which is, flirting and doing other unpleasant things that defy matrimony. We hear of some cases where husbands who were of good behaviour from the days of their youth suddenly becoming a torn in the flesh of their wives” were once “bad”, they decided to give up such a never-prospective lifestyle! Interestingly the good-turned-bad guys claim love their wives. Then, why the imbalance.

(4)           Some :good” guys who are proudly principled get married to or involve themselves in serious relationships with the so-called ;bad girls are faithful and keen to stand by their once-upon-a time ‘bad’ girls (wives or fiancés) through thick and thin. However, if you believe in the natural law of karma, do you think the ‘evils’ committed by the then “bad” girl won’t replicate themselves in the lives of their growing children? The answer is up to you!

(5)           Like a magnetic force field, “bad” girls, if they persist in their attitude, realistically change the  attracted “good” guys to their taste whether married or not just as invitation of members into a group takes place, so is the attitude of the so-called ‘bad’ girls influencing the character of the ‘good’ guys, initiating them not a complete world of ‘bad recognition”

(6)           Can a ‘bad’ girl who had lived a age of goalless youthful exuberance, middle age of doubt and insecurity and if not willing to change will live an old age of regrets suddenly becomes a (good) wife, let alone a caring mother? Next, we move to the second statement:


The “Good” girls end up marrying or getting the “Bad” guys

We seldom hear of hardened gangsters involving themselves in serious relationship or marrying morally responsible ladies. How possible is that? Choice! But a blindfolded one! Nonetheless, it does not change the fact that most “bad” guys generally end up marrying or getting the ‘bad’ girls. What about exceptional cases of ‘good’ girls involving themselves in serious relationships with ‘bad’ guys and even marrying them?

The following are the realistically approach facts as to why people choose to believe the assertion “the ‘good’ girls end up getting or marrying the ’bad’ guys”

(1)           Perhaps owing to wrong decision made with respect to marrying a ‘bad’ guy if not deep-rooted in the faith of her upbringing, the ‘good’ girl as time progresses turns to the taste of the ‘bad’ guys. It takes a ‘good’ girl with wits to change a ‘bad’ guy for good.

(2)           Suppose a ‘bad’ guy married a ‘good’ girl who is a virgin, then the view that the ‘good’ girls end up marrying the ‘bad’ guys is apparently correct. Really? What happens if the then ‘bad’ guy who has exercised boundless sexual freedom with various ladies in the past is impotent and this ‘good’ virgin wife needs satisfaction and procreation?

If you suppose these view points, then it is advisable for you to re-think and clearly observe the realities as they affect people (people in your vicinity)

More About Mr. Ben:

He has written over twenty breath-taking masterpieces that cut across almost very literary category to help improve the cause, shape and existence of humanity; sexuality, business anecdotes, science, home affairs, marriage, relationships, friendship, self-help, gender issues, life matters, motivational and inspirational interests, educational/academic matters and many more…He is still counting! To his credit, he has written over forty timeless articles on the various literary categories; showcased on,,, and other affiliate sites. His amazing writing skills, novel concepts, creative works and avid reading and communication skills have earned him a recognized membership with the following international affiliations;,, and other known writers’ organizations. No doubt, he is not only a writer with a difference but also an entrepreneur, investor and a philanthropist whose slogan reads ‘service to God and humanity are paramount’. .Other Publications1) Winds of Change… Life’s Twists… Life In Space… … 

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