Modernized Book Titles from Cheeta Born2dv8 Lachender

To Kill a Mockingbird     >>>>>     To Grill a Cookingbird     (A cookbook for amateurs living on the street)
A Room of One’s Own     >>>>>     A Roof on One’s Home     (An elegantly written polemic arguing for the rights of homeless folks)
Gravity’s Rainbow     >>>>>     Verbosity’s Brainblow     (Alternates: Senility’s Insanebow, Depravity’s Groinbone, Celerity’s Raceboat, Lucidity’s Dreamflow)
The Old Man and the Sea     >>>>>     The Old Manatee and the Sea That Dried Up and Left Him in the Sand
The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe     >>>>>     The Lying Bitch and the Wart Hog
The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari     >>>>>     The Ethics Probe and Possible Impeachment of Dr. Caligari (Who As it Turns Out, May Not Even Be a Real Doctor)
A Midsummer Night’s Dream     >>>>>     A Midsummer Night’s Gentrification So Severe You Hardly Recognize It as a Midsummer Night Any More, and Anyway, You Can’t Afford It

The Canterbury Tales     >>>>>     The Climate Denial Tales
Sylvester and the Magic Pebble     >>>>>     Sylvester and the Strangely Mind-Altering Tea That May Not Have Been the Kind He Expected
Love in the Time of Cholera     >>>>>     Real Intelligence in the Time of A.I.
One Hundred Years of Solitude     >>>>>     Two More Years of Donald Trump
How to Win Friends and Influence People     >>>>>     How to Convince People that 9/11 Was a Controlled Demolition and Influence Them Away From Corporate Capitalism Toward a Society That Values People Over Profit and Mutual Aid Over Buying Power
10,000 Leagues Under the Sea     >>>>>     10,000 Politicians and Bureaucrats Under the Sea Wearing Concrete Galoshes
The Power of Now     >>>>>     The Power of Reminiscing About Better Times in the Past & Trying Nervously Not to Think Too Much About the Future
Future Shock     >>>>>     Right Now Shock
The 10,000 Hats of Bartholomew Cubbins     >>>>>     The 10,000 Guns of Brutus Bumpstockins the Future Perpetrator of Yet Another Mass Shooting in a Public Space (As if We Don’t Have Enough Problems Without Shooting Ourselves)
The Hardy Boys and the Mystery of Something or Other     >>>>>     The Hardy Boys and the Mystery of the Anarchist Hackerspace That Never Seems to Close and Seems to Have No Rules
Pretty Woman     >>>>>     Attractive Individual of Indeterminate Gender
The Silence of the Lambs     >>>>>     The Surveillance of the Lambs     (Alternate: The Silence of the Drones)
An Inconvenient Truth     >>>>>     A Massive, Ear-splitting Wake-Up Call
The Never Ending Story     >>>>>     The Ever Napping Stoner     (Alternate: The Clever Branded Startup)
Charlotte’s Web     >>>>>     Charlatan’s Web Site
What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?    >>>>>     What Ever Happened to Habeas Corpus?
Dude, Where’s My Car?     >>>>>     Dude, Where’s My Net Neutrality?
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians     >>>>>     Santa Claus Conquers the Corporate Oligarchy
Invasion of the Body Snatchers     >>>>>     Invasion of the Civil Liberty Snatchers
Eyes Wide Shut     >>>>>     Lies Wide Open
The Town That Dreaded Sundown     >>>>>     The Town That Dreaded Patriarchy     (This could be about Portland, OR)
Blood-Sucking Freaks     >>>>>     Blood-Sucking Capitalists
The Creature From the Black Lagoon     >>>>>     The Creature From the Black Lives Matter Lagoon     (Alternate: The Creature From the Alt-Right Lagoon)
Hush, Hush Sweet Charlotte     >>>>>     Hush, Hush Sweet Plutocrat
The Hills Have Eyes     >>>>>     The Hills Have Domestic Terrorists     (Alternate: The Hills Have COINTELPRO)
The People Under the Stairs     >>>>>     The Nanothermite Under the Stairs     (9/11-Truth related)
Requiem For a Dream     >>>>>     Requiem For a Social Welfare State
The Journey of Natty Gan     >>>>>     The Schoolyard Shooting of Natty Gan
Charlie & the Chocolate Factory     >>>>>     Charlie & the Yellowcake Uranium Factory
The Day the Earth Stood Still     >>>>>     The Day the Earth Did Not Stand Still     (EARTHQUAKE!!!)