Family
When you graduated, no one
hired draft bait. You lived at home.
Waited for the hungry nation’s letter.
Collected in October. Bus
full of strangers. One, his pockets
full of candy. Another, cigarettes.
No one shared. Guy behind you
was reading Psychology Today.
Now, after four months of training,
you’re trying to use every minute
of this twelve-hour pass slipping
through your fingers. Last freedom
before new orders. Fog cold.
Can’t pull your collar close enough.
Head-down walking. The light without edges.
Can’t see the city through suffocating gray.
No idea how far from the Greyhound depot.
Looking for a place that won’t shun a soldier.
To be among civilians a few hours. But
you’ve wandered into a warehouse district.
The Draft, a law for world war—now part
of the country’s character—has sent you
to learn automatic weapons and explosives;
to build strength to march with heavy packs;
equipment, and ammunition; to carry
an injured comrade out of harm’s way;
to dress wounds; to dig for shelter in the dirt.
It’s taken you for your country’s hardest work.
At the bus depot you bought a San FranciscoChronicle.
First newspaper in four months, now limp in the fog.
Training’s over for your platoon. No longer strangers
uncertain about each other or the Army.
Comrades waiting for orders:
Vietnam on everyone’s mind.
Among steel and concrete buildings, a single light
caved in mist above a store front’s faded letters,
EAT.
Looks like a place out of Jack London. A place
for bearded men in pea jackets, wool caps, heavy boots.
And cheap enough for a $100-a-month Army private.
Brass door handle’s wet, cold. Thumb the latch. Push.
Almost empty. Air heavy with grease.
Cook, with stained apron and tattooed arms,
has spread the classifieds on a table.
Doesn’t look up. Radiator clicks by the door;
coffee urn grumbles. Murmured slap of cards
from the far end of the counter. Her uniform
is faded pink; hair in a bun, pencil stuck in it.
You’re too late for breakfast, she declares.
We got pie and coffee.
Take the seat by the register.
The cup is heavy china; kind that holds blistering heat.
Slip your fingers around it; one through the handle.
She returns to the game. Takes her cards
from her apron pocket. Other players
are pink-faced—gray hair slicked back on one,
fluffy gray ring above the other’s ears.
Black industrial shoes with gym socks.
Their backs toward me.
Students are protesting. San Francisco wants to build the world’s tallest building. Nixon has a plan. Crossword, horoscope,
Goren on Bridge, Ask Abby, sports, want ads.
Pages of another world.
Pay for the coffee. Leave the paper.
Fog’s unchanged. Pull your neck
into your collar. Back to the bus depot.
Back to your platoon. Back to wait for orders.
Unspoken: You’ll be split up.
Singing in the Dark
Few things weight your heart
like men’s voices lifting
in the relief of camp songs,
songs that echo back
from a grove of trees
taller than their sound.
Nothing is more terrible
than men’s voices lifting
to branches leaning down,
keeping to themselves
what lies ahead.
Pride
On the plaza, the Marine Band
struck up the national anthem,
and in the awareness of a ten-year old,
you noticed the changed posture
of the man standing next to you;
how he pulled his feet together,
how he squared his shoulders,
and took the cigarette from his mouth;
how both sleeves ended
in stainless steel hooks.
Bus to the Weekend Market
Hot.
Sun off the concrete so intense,
I have to squint. Digs through
the bottom of my shoes.
No taxis on Sunday—so a bus.
Alone at the stop on Sukhumvit Road,
I’m moving with the shade splatter
under this flaming jacaranda.
Tomorrow, the young woman
with white blouse and blue sarong,
will set her baskets down in the shade,
lean her bamboo pole against the fence,
and roast banana slices on a brazier
for customers waiting for the bus.
She’ll wrap their breakfast
in fresh banana leaf before it arrives.
_______________
Still my first month in Bangkok. Today,
I’m going to the old part of the city.
Have heard of Sanam Luang,
the Weekend Market on the royal public grounds.
I want to see where the food comes in
from the countryside. I’ve heard
you can buy almost anything there:
brass woks, boars’ heads, horseshoe crabs,
and temple offerings—like small birds in cages,
or Siamese fighting fish in plastic bags
of canal water—small animals for making merit
by setting them free.
_______________
A bus at last!
As we pull away, I hand my coin
to the attendant in his khaki uniform.
Can’t be more than ten years old.
With a practiced gesture, he flips back
the hinged lid of the aluminum tube,
drops my fare into its compartment,
and tears my ticket from the tiny roll.
He stays close to me and,
looking up with a shy smile,
touches the top of his crew cut
with the flat of his hand, compares
to its level on my shirt—something
I did at that age. I smile back.
Ah, luck! A seat on the shady side
and an open window with breeze from
our movement. The young mother
in the seat ahead holds her baby up
to look over her shoulder at the farang.
A surprise of black hair spouts up through
a pink bow. I look down a moment,
then up; wiggling my eyebrows.
A giggling reward. Like all babies,
she can’t stop staring. I’m guessing
she’s going to visit grandparents.
They get off at Soi Nana Nua—
just before Ploenchit Road where
we begin heading west.
Near Erawan Shrine, I hear whispers
behind me in a dialect I don’t understand.
I pick out the word American.
A gray-haired woman leans forward
and raises her voice to get my attention.
Her hair is cut short, sarong folded
in the old style. I can’t make out
what she’s saying until she offers me
a kaffir leaf and a scoop from her jar
of betel nut paste. Her daughter,
in western dress and sunglasses, tugs
at her arm, an effort she pulls away from—
eyes bright above her betel-red mouth.
In a country that esteems its elderly,
she’s being generous with her attention.
Respectfully, I decline with a modest
lowering of my head, then a wink and
smile. Her laugh lines are for me.
We ignore daughter.
_______________
As we pass Emerald Buddha Temple,
people start gathering their belongings.
The attendant stands next to the driver
to look out the front. We pull over,
and everyone gets off. So I do, too.
The street stews with weaving vehicles. Taxis,
bicycles, samlors, small trucks, motor bikes and
scooters weave, beep, honk and puff exhaust.
Everyone seems to be unloading baskets or crates
or dropping someone off.
Sanam Luang itself is an uproar of tarps
in all shapes, colors and patterns—
all with their backs to me—obscuring
thirty grass-sparse acres of the royal public grounds.
I retreat to shade beneath the tamarind trees planted
by King Rama V.
How do I get into the Market? There seems
to be no entrance, and everyone’s too busy to ask.
As I watch, a woman with a basket of duck eggs
resting on her hip gets off the back of a motorbike,
and dodging through the traffic, disappears
behind a canopy. Staying under the trees,
I follow and find the opening where she entered.
______________
A path on the battered grass wanders vendor-to-vendor.
I turn left, dodging tent poles and tie-downs,
duck under tarps sagging with the weight of sun,
and stop at crowd around a table
where someone sells small birds
from a tall wire cage. A boy and his father
have made a selection and are watching
the vendor trying to catch it without losing
the others. The birds make small clicking sounds
as they flick perch to perch. Each grab
inspires laughter and encouragement
from surrounding children and adults.
Home has become far away,
New CarPattaya Beach, Thailand Hot Season
I parked my new car last night in a grove of royal jacaranda
for shade over our beach weekend. Tomorrow we’ll walk
to the water through coconut palms rustling in the sea breeze.
At noon, we’ll move into the shade for steamed rice in banana leaf cups,
and chicken satay roasted with a local curry sauce,
drink Amarit or Singha from a chipped-ice cooler.
This morning I find I’d parked in a photographer’s dream—
a theater setting of clustered orange trumpets,
regal fanfare deafening polished metallic blue.
But trees only talk with trees.
They whisper to each other
what pride cannot hear,
I’ve brought a painted toy into paradise.
Hello John, these poems are very viviid, like they happened yesterday and not many years ago. They are alive with the people and places, and behind all description, I feel the angst distilled through the vision of everything playing out in the daily life of the times and places beautifully described, a rich palette. A sadness pervades, a haunted reverie and yet, a deep appreciation for the people who are seen through eyes that understand the paradox of life on earth.
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Hello John, these poems are very viviid, like they happened yesterday and not many years ago. They are alive with the people and places, and behind all description, I feel the angst distilled through the vision of everything playing out in the daily life of the times and places beautifully described, a rich palette. A sadness pervades, a haunted reverie and yet, a deep appreciation for the people who are seen through eyes that understand the paradox of life on earth.