——————————————————————————————-

the porcelain gods are calling

preparing my mind for hours

on the toilet the day before

my colonoscopy

with colon cancer on both

sides of my family, dread

is on the tip of my lips

and i know, i’m young

enough to beat anything

found early

but the question that is

never asked

would i really want to

no one seems to understand

death is the only way out

of here

why fear it

why prolong this fucking

misery

unless of course, you’re

into the pain, the agony

and the endless struggle

perhaps have a drink

with sisyphus and go

over the war stories

preferably, i’ll have

a stiff drink

maybe listen to some

music

close my eyes

and just let go

———————————————————————–

hidden joy

i’ve been dealing

with pinched nerves

long enough now

that the pain no

longer sneaks

up on me

it is like a constant

companion

the nagging wife

on a long road trip

of course, i can say

that since i am single

a hidden joy of loneliness

—————————————————————-

a little money

here come the beautiful

women telling me they

just need a little money

and they will make me

thousands to help me

get out of debt

i laugh and ask which

rock was i born under

or what ditch will they

leave the body in

they can try to insist

they are legitimate

but i know damn

well

i can’t be the only

one to know a fucking

scam when i see one

besides, using a porn

star for your profile pic

is an obvious fucking

giveaway

—————————————————————-

suffer

sitting here in

the waiting room

listening to this

program

that is stressing

that you don’t

need to suffer

over and over

again

i’m guessing we

all have different

terms of suffering

but holy shit

suffering is coming

out of that television

just loud enough

i get the fucking

point

————————————————————-

a lesser hell

i hear all the horror stories

of the father that left for

cigarettes and never came

home

i’m sure most of them

were running from debt

or a family they didn’t

love or could barely

afford

and sure, some ran to

other families that were

of a lesser hell

but how many of those

that never came back

never made it to another

destination

i think of all the bodies

turning up in old fields

deep in the woods

i bring up all of this

because i have always

wondered why my father

couldn’t have been one

of those fuckers

he stayed for the abuse

for the hell

for all the times he never
knew how to be a man

J.J. Campbell (1976 – ?) is old enough to know better. The 3 time Best of The Net nominee and two-time Pushcart Prize nominee, he’s been widely published over the years. Most recently at Yellow Mama, The Beatnik Cowboy, The Rye Whiskey Review, Night Owl Narrative and Disturb the Universe Magazine. His latest book, to live your dreams, published by Whiskey City Press, is available by going here: https://a.co/d/01WIoaxo