Think like a blabber
(Selected pieces)
(2019-2023)
Self-Portrait
2020
I contemplate a lot. I ponder over my mind, my prejudices and my existence. It makes me express myself through words and colours.
Fragment 1
There is a light, I believe
At the end of the tunnel
Shimmering, blinking
To show the hapless souls
The meaning of life.
There is a light, I hope
At the far end of a tunnel,
Hope to see
Not its death
Its constant struggle
Against the rough winds
And the hammering silhouettes.
Burning flames, burning flames
Flicker but not yield.
Burning flames, burning flames
Pose like a crumbled soul;
Remaining ashes
Pose like a crooked nail;
Moisture, dewdrops, lavender,
Skin of oaks, landmine, sound of those
Savage disasters, elusive memory,
Knightly armour, tattered jackets, wet soils
Uncharted vision- all I want
From the daybreak to the last ray of hope.
Till then, burning flames,
Seek, strive,
As there is a light at the end
Of doubt and denial:
Conquerable and
Solemn.
6 the September
2021
Trash box
We throw garbage in a garbage box. Unknowingly, we throw a fragment of ourselves in the box; we throw our skins and unknowingly we look down upon at the wastages. So, what is it doing in the box? How long?
16 December
2021
Fragment 2
Contemplating over things: Mind’s progress
I. Similarities
It feels like air
When someone sleeps,
Seems like a box of stones has been dragged out
Pacified
Hollow like balloon.
It feels like river
When the sweat trickles down from forehead
And touches someone’s knees,
It is cold like water
When the fan runs in full swing.
It feels like a jolt
When the bus driver hits a break,
Seems like one discovers oneself
And starts searching for the past skins
Of the past times
In the road
Once travelled
Of his livelihood.
07.11.2022
II. The Pain
My mind needs a sheet
To cover itself up
For camouflage
For hiding from the wind
As it carries the unwanted thoughts
Of different times,
Thought about bodies,
Uncertainties,
Failures;
My mind does not halt for a moment
I like a sleepwalker try to cut the entrance door
To have a look
Of the sunny mornings
Of its other side;
Gloomy, it sounds
Mild, it appears
It bombards,
It bombards the wall
Between my tempo and mood
I don’t want to have the darkness
Around my body
When my mind
Can leave its skin
Within a wink of an eye.
The cobwebs inside my mind
Like fear
Increase
If they are not untangled
With the feelings
Of ease
And
Of melodies.
From the melodies,
One can find a tune
The tune
That binds
The hearts of those
Who cycle through the veins of life
Cycle through the spark of failures.
08.06.2023
III. Agony
I am born in the month of agony
As peace has not dared to appear;
From sunbeams to sunlight,
Shapes and intensity
Change,
The toddler learns to run with words;
Here, I, the agonized, disorganized soul
Do not know how to crawl.
All the butterflies spread their wings
Around the tip of a bud
Encouraging it to grow,
Hope,
The world acts like this
And makes a constellation
Of lost souls.
March, 2023
IV.
She cries and cries
As if she is destined
To bear the weight
Of the cracking sky,
She never imagines
That her teardrops
Can paint the white rose
Into blue
That she drew
In her notebook.
7th April
Fragment 3
The Blabber
Side face of a blabber
2019
The Blabber
Part 1
If something wonderful happens in my life, what will I do?
The best thing may arise in me.
My instinct or my strong belief in miracle can bring miracle to me.
People say that life is a box of miracles.
Life happens when nothing is happening.
Who will open the lid of the box of my life?
Waiting is the foe of creative energies,
I believe.
Restlessness creates the symphony
That takes refuge in me.
Blabber is one who speaks a lot but can do nothing.
I am that blabber.
Blabber is one who lives in the bubble.
Bubble of misconception, bubble of doubt.
I am that blabber.
I am such a blabber that I fail at everything.
I want to be a doer.
From being a dear to a deer, one goes through a journey.
Part 2
I write to free myself from the clutches of thoughts.
My body acts like a vessel and I am the sailor of the sea.
My vehicle is not so big like my body.
Its frailness makes me ponder over my rowing skills.
The canoe like body faces hurdles to go forward.
I want to be free like water.
As free as the birds.
The boxes around my existence enable me to think
That I have to take a shape
Of a cube, round, square
Or of any geometric figures.
Water is shapeless
So does the wind.
Sky is shapeless so does the earth.
The oxymoronic sensation is my breath
That acts like a fuel to the machines of my body.
Oil makes the machine run properly.
Every evening, the horizon paints the scenic beauty
That does not demand any mechanical or technological recording.
My eyes see the eyes of the firmament.
At night, it is the evil but the day comes with the prediction.
A hope,
A dawn.
14.04.2023
The moods of Future
The future is a giant ball. A mystery starts with the anonymous suspects and ends with the prominent names. The more you try to look at the future, the more it will get away from you. It is like sand slipping away from your fingers. It only makes you realize what you can hold on and that is present. Today, the first day of the Bengali calendar says what can happen in the near future. Possibility and probability are not same with certainty. Certainty gives you the feeling of ending. As long as a soul can float, he is happy.
Happiness gives you wings. It makes you venture into the lands that you have never thought of. The blankness in the eyes of a kid does not hypnotize an adult. But, the same blankness garnished with wonder can make anyone feel lost if anyone peeps into it.
Eyes are like ocean, I always say.
From yellowish blue to bluish brown, the colour paints the layers of the sky. They symbolize the different moods. The cinematographer plays with the colours, technicality of the cameras, and the camera decides which mood (circular or horizontal) it should concentrate on. The process of contemplation evokes out the psychology of the scene, the inner spectrum of the human beings.
The wise man can quickly advise on the significance of the minutes. Seconds are better than minutes. The tourists wait in the Tiger Hill to witness the rising of the sun, the advent of a new dawn. They wait with their cameras but within a blink, they can miss the metaphorical birth of the sun. This is the power of the seconds. The future is exactly like this one. It follows the laws of nature. And miraculously, the nature is the creative offspring of God. This nature stores the gems under its soil. It lets her rivers flow. It is also like mood. Very uncertain yet so adventurous just like life.
Youth is life; life is youth. How long can youth stay? Youth is the bohemian river, a wild horse. After youth, comes the mid age. The age of grey hair. White means wisdom. Wisdom means a step closer to death. And everyone will meet the future. The future comes with a hazy mood.
Youth
2019
Life is synomous with youth. Youth can be existent, omnipresent if one only thinks of present. Destiny is like a flame. Moths are like the pedestrians. Flame attracts the moths. Some die; some make a life of illusions.
15.04.2023
Prayer and Prayer
Folding the hands and looking upwards are the ways to alert the God. You become silent; you become calm. You have words but you throw words at the wall. There is no receiver except God. The tantrums of the world, the gullibility of the human existence, the love for the breathing- all sterilize our thinking capacity.
The act of thinking makes the hair grey.
Hair falls down onto the ground.
The empty baldness starts appearing.
Still, you pursue conversation with God.
Your sweaty body starts getting melted due to agony and excitement.
Uncertainty aligns with belief and belief is a force.
A force
Indomitable.
15th April, 23
Fragment 4
Face of Durga
2021
The (000) of my life
I don’t know the meaning of (000). But, I am sure what may be the possibilities of (000) in my life. People say that life is existence. I believe that life is doing. Journey means going from one place to another, moving from one space to another. Moving signifies that you are doing. You are doing for the mind; you are doing for the body; you are doing the deeds. Does (000) refer to a circle? Is it a line? Does a straight line hit itself back-to-back until it gets transformed into a round shape? Line has an end. Circle has no exit. Line has an exit. Circle has no end. I am Srijani. I am happily stuck to the ground of (000). I am running, growing like the leaves of a plant. A seed in a soil.
The beauty of livelihood is such that it makes one pause for a moment. One thinks and thinks until his eyes feel the burden of sleep.
Mahalaya, 2023
Fragment 5
I see you-
The people,
I see myself there,
Just there.
From here,
To here
Navigating, slowly, silently like a
Super sleuth or a cautious frog
I am going
I am traversing.
I am visualizing images
Like a heap of moments
So transitory
So illuminating
Ephemeral like wind
Like a second.
It evaporates,
It evokes out the smell of
Loveliness
Loveliness of the face
That is standing in the dark,
The eyes as dark as caves
Dark as the veiled sky,
I am standing in the mid centre of stage
Called life.
How ironical it appears!
I am cycling through the words
Some want to become the dusk
And I want to become a dawn.
Tears blow like wind
Only to make a bridge
Between you and me
Me- the mind
And you-
The people, the receiver
And the audience.
17.11.2023
Fragment 6
Two years have passed.
I forget to read the notes.
There is a coin in the notes.
The coin that I place on my palm
Only to listen to its subtle sound
Is a boon to anyone’s miserable days.
This sound is so silent
That the deaf intends to receive its noiseless words.
Sometimes, it is my soul
That reciprocates to the sound of my brain.
Who gives me signals?
Me to my selves?
Or something else?
18th November
2023
Fragment 7
I can smell the smell of the dead men
But, I forget to smell the odour of the flowers
Of my garden.
I see the vision of the forebears in the
Eyes of the girls,
I can smell the smell of their bodies
I smell the smell that is yet to come
But, I forget to smell
That is already there.
Is it just my fear?
Is it something else?
I think and overthink
To let my thoughts flow
Through my veins
And I walk
I go.
25th November
2023