Joan Beebe (left)and fellow contributor Michael Robinson
When I am alone in the early morning darkness,
My mind takes me back to the times when
I was growing up with my family.
It was a time of nurturing, tears and laughter.
The warmth of love, encouragement and the
Sounds of a family taking care of each other.
The house was always filled with the kindness of
My mom and dad who took in friends, a relative and
A family who was forced out of their home due to
The flooding of our river each year.
Time has passed quickly and I only have my memories
But they are sweet, comforting and full of gratitude.
A bird flew just touching my head over
It flew away flattering its feathers
I looked again and again
It spoke to me how and what I do
And should do
It’s my love, O bird
You wanted to whisper that I can’t
Flew away over my head
The shade before my eyes
While flying to the sky
Draws hundreds and thousands miles to go ahead
I observe and move forward till I reach my destiny.
Whatever outcomes are realised by errant dreamers,
love shall transform the season over and over.
Phenomonology of the Soul
Where is the soul of man to be found?
In dreams? A boy prays,
struggling with the thought.
“What if I should not wake tomorrow,
but continue to dream
and if I should not wake
from that dream, but find myself caught
in a perpetual dream-loop,
then what of the real world,
father dear and mother?” As a younger child
he imagined himself unable
to escape his world of dreams.
Now he believes he is still dreaming
when he thinks
he might be awake.
“Perhaps I’ve been stuck
in this dream for as long as I am
able to remember.
Perhaps there is no way out.”
His heart leaps within him, stirring his soul
to doubt God.
As a grown man, the former boy dreams
of waking from his trance,
no nearer to finding God,
his only consolation
to be found in the music of his dreams,
between earth and sky.
Precept and Prayer
for Helen Bullas
Town full of revelers, couples, beautiful girls.
Not a soul to step forward for me,
Except for you, my most beautiful friend.
Your tears hurt me more than I can tell,
But I’m still capable of bravery,
Laughter and forgetting, like a man
Who hasn’t entirely lost hope.
Sometimes there’s nothing to do, but write
Our poems as if it really made a difference.
As if, somehow, it mattered more than a jot.
At last, I beg you not to cry for me
Because my feud with god isn’t yet over.
So come pray with me now
And all the unbelievers, as if praying
Were the only sacrament missing from our lives.
Law of the Past
This poem is the only artefact that’s left
after all the years
of my loving you in secret. Even now
we hope to hide our identities
from the world. You are still L, and I, M.
This is how it must be, with all the resolve
of heaven and Earth.
Perhaps this will be the last thing
I ever write about us.
Remember when you played guitar for me?
Now you are married with a family
and wish to forget.
Only the past has a way of catching up,
catching us off guard, forcing us
to account for our strange, conflicted selves.
Dead Dog Paradox
Was the dead dog man’s best friend?
Did the dog deserve to be burned alive?
Did the dog deserve to be beaten to death with a stick?
Did the dog deserve to be poisoned to death?
Who set the trap to cut the dog in half?
What was the dog’s name?
Was the dog troubled with rabies?
Did the dog deserve to be hanged in the street?
Who sanctioned the killing of the dog?
Had the dog played at ball in the fields?
Had the dog run wild in the woods?
Had the dog run amok in the town square?
Did the Mayor pay local citizens to murder the dog?
Who threw the first stone?
Who beheaded the dog?
Who skinned the dog alive for its pelt?
What had the dead dog done to warrant such cruelty?
Self-Portrait, 2019
for Frank Bidart and for Nora
He’s no longer young at forty-nine, but looks younger,
or does he? Certainly, he feels younger
than his years, but the baggage under the eyes
has justly recorded a decade of sleepless nights,
the greying hair, the almost white unkempt beard
betrays
his exit from the world of bodies, but signifies
a wider, more pressing change of heart. The one time asexual
poet, grieves no more for the pejorative virginity
of yesteryear, but looks at the tear in his right pupil —
not as the symbol of a once broken heart,
but a super sigil, denoting and demanding a rare optimism
in place of doubt and denial. In the mirror, nothing
is missed, the yellow worn out teeth, the metaphorical
lumps and bumps of ageing, his mother’s sensual mouth,
his father’s Roman nose, the desire still to be loved.
Mark A. Murphy is the editor of the online journal, POETiCA REViEW. His poetry collections include Tin Cat Alley (1996), Our Little Bit of Immortality (2011), Night-watch Man & Muse (2013) and his next full length collection, Night Wanderer’s Plea is pending from Waterloo Press, UK in 2019.
J.J. Campbell (1976 – ?) is trapped in suburbia, wondering where the lonely housewives are. He’s been widely published over the years, most recently at Record Magazine, Horror Sleaze Trash, Mad Swirl, Word Dish and Rusty Truck. You can find him most days on his mildly entertaining blog, evil delights. (https://evildelights.blogspot.com)
“Smooth Whiskey” (originally published by Cephalopress)
tick…tock
tick…tock
The days are long in a life of slow motion. Waking up takes too long, despite the violent assaults of the alarm clock, unchained by a snooze button—-like me—worn down to the circuitry.
tick…tock
tick…tock
Get up late, again. Take a whore bath in the bathroom sink. Wash what needs it and get out the door. Shower’d be nice…really nice. Maybe tomorrow. Probably not, again.
tick…tock
tick…tock
Office clocks–harbingers of death to my soul–lament the dying of the fire, within. Telephone rings perforate the recirculated air of lungs and mouths like a symphony of electric crickets, tuning-up beneath the hepatic glow of fluorescent suns outside my cubicle’s walls.
tick…tock
tick…tock
Driving home in the same car, down the same roads, in the same rancid clothes that need more than just a good airing out, stuck in this bad track mix, playing on a loop, I need a drink. There’s a bottle at home. Whiskey, I think–a gift for my 50th. It goes down, rough, but smooth, after a glass or two or three.
Smooth is good in a life of no motion.
tick…tock
tick…tock
(Repeat All)
“Blue Room” (published by Former People Journal)
Nights are hardest to bear,
alone, atop these unwashed sheets
that smell of you and me, still,
crinkled and heavy with ghosts
of our sweat and loving juices.
I am tethered
to flashes of smiles and kisses
that linger beneath the sweetness of heated exhales.
To smell your breath, again,
and taste you on the back of my tongue.
To pull you into me by the small of your back
and sink into the warmth of white musk–
a tangle of tongues, fingers, and limbs.
To have you, know you, again,
Inside and out, is all I want.
Need.
Laying here, drowning in us,
my legs brush against the cold rustle of sheets you left behind,
cutting the airlessness of this room.
Rolling over, I close my eyes
and sink my face into the depths of your pillow,
escaping the void that even silence’s ring has forgotten,
and take you in, drowning in us,
this lover’s kaddish.
The scent of your hair—
blue fig and oranges—and spit,
are but pebbles on the gravestone.
“And the Beat Goes On” (originally published by littledeathlit)
Dropping from the air
upon ears like paper blotters on willing tongues,
raging at the bloodlessness of cardboard cutouts against a shrinking sky,
through psychedelic lenses
let me seeeee, let me beeeee the pulse of silent rage
that rails against the vulgar machine
with words
that organize, legitimize, minimize, super-size, tranquilize, proselytize, tantalize, infantilize,
sexualize, stigmatize the suckled teats of long-conditioned truths.
Poking the bear, disturbing the seas of featureless beige,
stirring the comatose anima with battle-cries of sight and sound
that pierce dusty eardrums like sterling icepicks,
repressed wants teeeeem, solemn faces beeeeeam,
liberated in the warmth of a sun that breaks just beyond the horizon on coffee-house stages,
rousing thoughts
to gestate, ruminate, conjugate, propriate, sublimate, fornicate, obliterate, determinate,
propagate, exfoliate dangerous visions, birthed from the unfetteredness of a purple haze.
Fueling the scribblings of furious hands upon white sheets with whisky and cigarettes,
Making, naked, ugly underbellies of the angst-ridden and inflamed
with the glorious promises of their ecstatic treasure-trails,
let’s revel in the coolness of poetry’s heeeeeat, indulged in pollen-dusted skin so sweeeeet
“Old Filament, Broken Bulb” (originally published at Expat Press)
A white bolt from above
rips
through the clouds before our eyes—
an epiphany—
showering cuts upon the kitchen table,
releasing bad blood,
testing our guile
and gristle.
“And the Beat Goes On” was originally published at littledeathlit, “Smooth Whiskey” was originally published at Cephalophress, “Blue Room” was originally published at “Former People Journal, “Old Filament, Broken Bulb” was originally published at Expat Press.
BIO: David Estringel is an avid reader, poet, and writer of fiction, creative non-fiction, & essays. His work has been accepted and/or published by Specter Magazine, Literary Juice, Foliate Oak Magazine, Terror House Magazine, Expat Press, 50 Haikus, littledeathlit, Down in the DirtMagazine, Route 7 Review, Setu Bilingual Journal, Paper Trains Literary Journal, The Elixir Magazine, Soft Cartel, Harbinger Asylum, Briars Lit, Open Arts Forum, Cajun Mutt Press, Former People Journal, The Ugly Writers, Writ in Dust, Cephalopress, Twist in Time, Merak Magazine, Salt Water Soul, Cherry House Press, Subterranean Blue Poetry, Printed Words, Sunflower Sutras, Tulip Tree Publishing, Salt, PPP Ezine, Digging through the Fat, Haiku Journal, Foxhole Magazine, The Basil O’Flaherty, Three Line Poetry, Agony Opera, Siren’s Call Ezine, Alien Buddha Press, Channillo, and The Good Men Project. He is currently a Contributing Editor (fiction) at Red Fez, Lead Editor/columnist at The Good Men Project, an editor/writer at The Elixir Magazine, fiction reader at riverSedge, and columnist at Channillo. David can be found on Twitter (@The_Booky_Man) and his website at http://davidaestringel.com.