Colleagues and Buddies
Jim and I certainly weren’t colleagues. He finished a pharmacy degree, and I was an art school dropout – and couldn’t afford Kenyon. I drove a twenty-year-old Ford. He had a flashy new sportscar. He counted pills. I stocked shelves. He said, “That’s a pretty big word you’ve got there” when I used “pharmaceutical” in a sentence. Soon after he lost his ride, his job, and his life to cocaine, I signed up for classes and quit the drugstore. Despite his condescension, I was always willing to be Jim’s buddy.
Chuck turned my colleagues against me less than a year after his arrival. Got me fired. All to move up in seniority and likely simply for-the-hell-of-it. I thought we were going to be buddies. I was counting on it. After I was gone, he was reprimanded for sexual harassment – for calling my replacement at all hours just after her first interview. He got tenure. She signed an NDA. I was the lucky one.
Andy wore aluminum painted shoes and rumpled thrift store jackets and hung vintage Soviet era posters in his office when he taught freshman English composition part-time. We invited him and his wife over for dinner – my chicken tortellini soup. (During the meal he made us aware he was a former sous-chef.) And he drove me to the ER once. Andy and I might have been great colleagues but never buddies. Sometime after he became dean, he began wearing crisp suits, unimaginative striped ties and expensive, polished loafers. That’s when he learned to equivocate, evade, and obfuscate. He exhibited a talent for exquisite prevarications. Now no longer dean, he’s back to teaching freshman English composition. Andy didn’t have buddies.
Jolene and I shared our passion for Thomas Hardy, but after listening to a vicious castigation of her husband over the phone in her office (I offered to come back later), I knew we wouldn’t be buddies. But Kate and I were meant to be buddies. We traded info on the best therapists and latest OCD meds. She tended my son when my daughter was born. But she proved to be an incompetent and sanctimonious administrator – the sanctimony a camouflage for the incompetence. Impossible to ignore. Out of spite over a slight, she destroyed my program in one swift stroke. Stress caused her to retire early.
John was a heck-of-a-nice-guy. We ate many breakfasts together before class, eggs over-easy for me, oatmeal and fruit for him. As our sons were the same age, we compared parenting styles and over-tipped Ellen, our waitress, because we talked too long. I gave him a tour of the art museum, showed him my father’s grave and the stained-glass windows at St. Vincent de Paul. When my budget came up in committee, he merely sat there saying nothing and doing nothing while our vindictive peers slashed away. John was a lousy colleague. But I forgave him. His son was sent to prison for five to ten for theft and drugs, over-dosed when released, and chose to die rather than see his legs amputated. John and I couldn’t remain buddies.
Todd and I never needed to think about how or why we were buddies. Todd was a good husband, good father, good colleague, an honorable man. Little kids wanted to sit on his lap. Our families gathered for New Year’s Eve and watched parades and fireworks together. He put a six pack on my doorstep after I pulled down the poison ivy in his trees while they were at church. (He was highly allergic.) He saved a very pregnant student during class with quick-thinking CPR. His only flaw was dying in the shower of a heart attack at forty-three. No notice whatsoever. It was difficult to forgive Todd for that, but I could not help but love him.
David Sapp, writer, artist, and professor, lives along the southern shore of Lake Erie in North America. A Pushcart nominee, he was awarded Ohio Arts Council Individual Excellence Grants for poetry and the visual arts. His poetry and prose appear widely in the United States, Canada, and the United Kingdom. His publications include articles in the Journal of Creative Behavior, chapbooks Close to Home and Two Buddha, a novel Flying Over Erie, and a book of poems and drawings titled Drawing Nirvana.
