Crying is foreign to me because I refuse to be weak,
but you, for some reason can bring me to my knees.
And yes, I do try to hide it, but not very well.
Now that my smile is small, it hides nothing.
Everyone can tell that deep down I am drowning
along with you, and there is no glory in that.
No, love can’t be the same, but maybe it can be made stronger..
So, I put down my pride and say with all that is in me
as I stand before you with no shame and tell you,
“I am still in love with you!”. And in my vulnerable state say,
“I don’t want to hide anymore behind this fake smile.”
“Forgive my pride and stubbornness, but my heart has suffered
much in life and it is hard to show vulnerability.”
Before I turn and walk away, I will ask you once only and then no more…
“Shall we try again?”
Hope Restored
When we met, you were in a painful state
Someone before me had stolen the joy within you
You thought she was “the one”
But she crushed you, instead
You lost everything, including yourself
She never cherished your being
In your darkest hour, she left you
I found you broken; with a sobbing and painful soul
You were in need of a pure love
It took a long time for you to let down your walls
You began to trust me, then you smiled at me one day
I never pushed you or demanded anything from you
Our friendship grew and you became my best friend
I saw joy in your life again
I rejoiced with every smile
From friendship grew love..
A pure love that expects nothing in return but a smile;
The unconditional love and respect that you deserved
All I ever wanted was to see hope restored in your life
But I ended up with far more.
Autumn With You
Autumn has always been my favorite time of year
It’s relaxing sitting in the sun along with you, Dear
The days are now more quiet like a silent bereaving
The end of a scorching Summer is readily leaving
Taking walks hand in hand, watching our neighbors raking
as the aroma of cinnamon bring memories of baking
I welcome the deep colors that amaze my eyes
as we sit on our porch and take in the trees and blue skies
Limbs slightly blow in the breeze as a few leaves fare
creating a sense of peace within me like a whispering prayer
The sky is so clear, bright stars I can see
I lean back against you with your arms around me
As we watch another sunset from our porch swing tonight
I am thankful being with you in the Autumn Moonlight.
Biography
Kristy Ann Raines, born April 9, born in California, in the United States, is a poet/writer/author, who is very versatile in her writing and internationally acclaimed.
From fantasy and love, to serious subjects such as, domestic violence, and human rights. Her passion is writing children’s books, short stories and romantic poetry. Kristy has earned many awards and has five book that she is working on. One will be published soon.
The Love Castle
Life is so beautiful, you are mine
You laugh out, the morning sun smiles on
You touch me and I survive in the morning breeze
The waves of the ocean run through in the veins
I become forgetful
The building stands on before us
The world can see the beauty of The Taj Mahal at Agra
The love castle - the eternal love story.
Chapainawabganj, Bangladesh
28 October, 2023
In the Autumn Morning
How sweet the morning breeze!
In this autumn morning
No firefighting, no dismal display
Over the natural sight
The birds chirping near me
The sweet scent of the roses
The grass flowers on the bushes
All smile on at my bare foot walk by the way
By the river side and lake
I walk on and the autumn beauty welcomes me
The soft blowing of the catkins waving on the heart
The colorful butterflies and
The open sky round circle birds over head
Celebrating the bright morning
In my turning home feeling nostalgic to be with the childhood age
How wonderful the lambs and ducks on the ground and lake!
Chapainawabganj, Bangladesh
31 October, 2023
Md. Mahbubul Alam is from Bangladesh. His writer name is Mahbub John in Bangladesh. He is a Senior Teacher (English) of Harimohan Government High School, Chapainawabganj, Bangladesh. Chapainawabganj is a district town of Bangladesh. He is an MA in English Literature from Rajshahi College under National University. He has published three books of poems in Bangla. He writes mainly poems but other branches of writings such as prose, article, essay etc. also have been published in national and local newspapers, magazines, little magazines. He has achieved three times Best Teacher Certificate and Crest in National Education Week in the District Wise Competition in Chapainawabganj District. He has gained many literary awards from home abroad. His English writings have been being published in an International Online Magazine - Synchronized Chaos from America for seven years. He is a father of two daughters. He is living with his family at Chapainawabganj, Bangladesh
***
prison instead of help
coexistence instead of love
unnecessary reform
one coffee and hotel room per person
there are many ways to show your dislike
Reprint by Crank
***
mom sews a vagina for her daughter like a red rag for tears
mom wants soldiers to give flowers to her daughters
the cemetery is silent about flowers
daughter collects khaki and throws it into the toilet
daughter screams that she does not need such flowers
graves are silent about the dead
Reprint by Rat's Ass Review
***
this poem
will not be written
by anyone because the author
will go to the supermarket for vodka
and never come back
Reprint by Tipton poetry journal
***
the leaves don't resent it when you step on them
the bones barely crunch when you do
people barely crunch on such occasions.
death is like a land mine doesn't resent it when you step on it
Reprint by Tipton poetry journal
***
what does the right pike of a suicide exposed to the wind say?
what happens to the frostbitten left cheek?
mother's biblical face turns silky as son pulls out graveyard surprise box from under his bed
***
internet people live the longest
a dog that died ten years ago still puts
likes on social media
instead of its killed dog owner
***
while God is sleeping, the children press all sorts of buttons on his smartphone
and do not understand what this leads to
angels drink living water meanwhile and get drunk
what is the name of the little boy who will never become Jesus Christ?
***
Dynastic hands of the dead
No one will teach palms to cry
Money can't be earned аnd neither can respect
Money and respect can only be stolen from talent
***
What can poetry be talking
about in the 21st century besides blood?
The ruins warm the bodies
of the future dead
***
death allows itself to be late in the form of rain that washes away all the moles from the body
no one allows you to return to childhood with a cheek turned up for a blow
meanwhile the window is slammed shut wide open
meanwhile the birds sew up the sky tightly
time turns into sand from which we built a house
house is grass house is glass
religion trauma of cold speech
torn tongue crunching leaves underfoot
the breathless unborn god underfoot
and above the heads of the airy sky which is no more
***
the little wolf cub is looking for wolf jesus but can't find him
animals are too humane to crucify each other
animals are just physically hungry
***
Jesus received the resurrection
certificate from the hands of the centurion
the dove sat on the arm of the tree
and silently watched
***
there is no more home
ruins play the stones of a scream
There's no more peace because
someone skipped a history lesson
on Hiroshima at school
***
as soon as
і wake up from sleep
і frantically begin to suck
the dick
of my rifle
as if there was no war
EssayThe Ditch
Man is something thrown into the ditch of world history. One day some guy went to get some alcohol at some store and ended up in the hospital. Judging from the pics on instagram, I would have liked this guy, and he also has nice long finger nails. Only I still don't know for sure if he's gay or if he just dresses so provocatively that he gets attacked by scumbags on the streets.
Once a famous poet went to get alcohol in one of the few stores and disappeared. These were the days of Soviet terror. I never understood what wrong this poet had done.
One day a Jew was walking near the palace (probably looking for where to buy alcohol). The guards came up to him and grabbed him. And then, on Nero's orders, the unfortunate Jew was crucified. Why this happened is unclear to me. Perhaps after such an incident Christianity was born.
That's why I don't drink alcohol and use courier delivery as a rule. I also think it is important to note that I want to dye my hair ashy.
I believe that, living in dreams is better than living in this crazy world. Because in your dreams no one can hurt you and no one cannot resist to make your dreams come true. In a word, a person achieves the things he wants in his life, the people he loves and the situations he dreams of even in his imagination. He lives with these dreams. But if these dreams do not exist, some people will have no purpose to live in this life. There are most people, who are happy only with their dreams. There are some people, who have lost their hope in this life. They live in only their dreams.
I used to think that I was one of these people. Because I have gone through many problems and trials. I even stopped dreaming. As if this wide world was too narrow for me. My every day were filled with problems and worries. I even forgot to laugh. I asked myself every day:
” Am I worth this life?”
” Why do I have so many problems?”
” Can not I live happily?”
” Am I such a bad person?”
” When wil this life end?”
I had a lot of questions, but there were not any answers.
In one day, I have overcome my ago. I started thinking about the good things instead of complaining about life. I began to gather new sincere people around me and I spent a lot of time with them. Then, I found that these are starting to help me. After that, I made a lot of great aims and dreams. The main thing is that, I was able to find a reason to live in this crazy life. Well, it was not easy. But I was able to it. I was able to make some of my dreams come true. I thank my dreams for that. When I get tired from problems, worries and bad situations of this life, I made a habit to live in my beautiful fantasy world. I was sure of that, dreams are like trees, they make buds, blooms, wither, shed but sprout again. Therefore, never stop dreaming!
Let Me Say
-Everything has an age. Every flower is in time. Love also has an age. You are not enough aged to do that.
-Everything may have fixed time but love does not demand age.Even it does not depend on place and person.
-What do you want to say.
-It is simple. I think very simple. You are enough aged to understand me.
-Don't talk like a philosopher. Shoot the wee! How bright again?
-Don't talk in this way. You should not underestimate me. Size don't matter.
-ha ha. Size don't matter but chopping wood.
Cathy is laughing loudly. She looks at Cotty carefully and says with pleasant harmonic sound
- Want to be Jerry. Every one is not Jerry.
Not everyone can be Jerry. It is good to be smart but not so good to be over smart.
-Size don't matter but producing love.
-Ha ha ha....... You are a love machine. What is the name of your love industry?
Cathy is laughing again. The symbol of mystery plays in of her fresh eyes. Her eyes of twenty years are deep and clear. Her smiles sometimes tells the hidden stories of heart.
Cotty suddenly tells
-Sorry.
-Why?
- I don't know. Oh, yes l don't want to be Jerry.
I want to be your partner.
-Partner? What are you saying? Are you in good condition? I think you are out of control.
Control yourself and speak properly. Little creature!
-Why do you treat me in this way? l am not so that you think. I am more than me.
-Is it, isn’t it? You are junior to me.
-So what?
- Strange! Of course this is a fact.
-I love you and this is true. Love does not depend on age.
-But l do not love you.
-That is your own business. I love you and love you. No one can stop it. Even you. The water of rivers flows on and will flow forever.Wind blows and will blow.
- You must stop.
-Never. If love starts it never stops. Love has only beginning but no end.
-You are talking like an experienced guy
-Everything does not have experience. From where and from whom did Adam, the first man, our ancestor, get experience? He is the first but not inexperienced in the world. Still now we are are learning from him and becoming experienced.
-Really you are a torch bearer of love. I could not read you properly.
-I do not want to express myself in this way. Please do not say in this way. Try to understand me.
-Cotty, you are so small and my love is so vast.
- You are right. The sea is so vast and the boat is so small. But the small boat can float easily on the vast sea. I want to be a boat for your sea.I wish I were a boat for your sea.
Two birds come and sit beside them. Cotty looks them with love and Cathy looks at Cotty. Both of them are wordless. They are in deep freeze.
The birds are exceptionally beautiful. They are more attractive than time. But everything is transitory to Cathy. She only finds the definition of love in the eyes of Cotty. Cathy wants to break the iceberg. She becomes close to Cotty. She wants to say something to Cotty but can't. There is someone whom she does not see, lives in her inner world, pretends her to say. She conquers something and says
-I
Cotty stops Cathy's lips and says
-Let me say
- What?
-That you want to say.
-Actually I... I....
-What?
-I.....
-Let me say.
Both of them say but only the gentle breeze hears them. The birds starts to sing song of love.
#######################
Two Immortal Souls in a Grave
-Who are you?
-I am a boy of unlucky seven.
-Unlucky ! Unlucky seven! Why are you unlucky? l don’t understand.
-Unlucky is unlucky. l am a unlucky guy.
-Tell me at first your name.
- I am Justin. My friends call me Just.
Oh! What are you doing here.
-I have come here to talk to my father. Everyday l come here to talk to my father.
- Strange! Where is your father? I can not see anybody around us.
- How can you see him? He is not with you or none in this world.
-Where is he? How can you talk to him?
-He is in this grave. This is my father's grave. This is my father's grave. I lost him one year ago.
Justin starts weeping. Tears come from his eyes. He sees everything from his heart.
Collins says with strange voice
-This is your father's grave? Oh no.
-Is there Anything wrong?
-No, no.
-I think you are hiding something from me.
- l lost my father in my childhood.
-So you are same to me. Your father is dead and my father is dead. We are alive but we are in death. Everytime we are dying.
-What are you saying?
-Yes. death touches us every moment. Life is transitory but death is permanent. It is absolutely true. We are walking towards death. Grave is waiting for us.
-I am surprised to hear your words. You are so accurate. But a little boy like you how can express all these things.
- I am not so little as you think. All people were born at a time. But the time is different of coming this world. So souls are not junior or Senior. Only the bodies are junior or senior.
-Who have told you?
-My mother, my world.
-Do you believe your mother.
- I respect my mother and I believe my mother.
She is my everything.
-Where does your mother live?
Justin very simply says
- I live with my mother. We live in a hut. The hut is one kilometer from here. I come here everyday on foot because I have not enough money. I am a student but l have to work to live. My mother forbids me to do work but l do work to support her. I do not want to depend fully on him.
-What does your mother do?
-She is self reliant. She makes different kinds of pizza and sells to the customers. If l earn sufficient I will not let her do anything.
-Your mother is lucky and you are also lucky.
-Why do you think so?
-My mother is unlucky and l am also unlucky.
-Why?
- My mother is alive and she does not keep me with her. She lives in nursing home.
I earn huge and l have enough money but she does not take any help from me.
-What is the reason?
-This is my misfortune. Once she asked me money but I Didn't give her.
-Why didn’t you give her money?
-I don’t know, I don’t know the real cause.
Collin starts to cry like a child.
-l think you did a great mistake. Go to your mother and ask her to forgive you.
-I have lost the real track.
-Why have you come here?
- I have come here to talk to my father.
-Which one is your father's grave.
Collin shows the grave of Justin and says
- This is my father's grave.
-Are you mad? This is my father's grave. You are wrong. Every day I come here to pray for him and l have never seen you here before.
- From now I have lost everything.
- You have lost nothing because your mother is alive. Go to her and do your duty. Don’t lament for your father.
Tears of Collin's eyes are falling down on the grasses of his father's grave. The grasses are shouting but who knows what they are saying.
Collin starts to walk through a new way but he follows his footprints of his past. Suddenly he hears the voice of his father
- Collin, do not forget me.
Collin looks back but he doesn't see neither his father nor Justin.
###################
Come Back to Love
Slavery is not love
Love is not shaped in slavery
It is unconditional tree's flowers
That grow and bloom to spread beauty
In two inconvenient considerable hearts.
Nothing is alternative to produce love
Sacrifice is the beauty of love
That removes the anxieties of slavery
Brutal force cannot conquer strange islands
It is love that absorbs waves of the sea of pain
Everything can be separated but it can't be
It can't be broken up for colonizers
Wear the clothes of hope and possibility
Fight against dark and hunted nights
Share love like an endless fountain
Whoever we are and wherever we live
Love's dream is to be individually freedom and collectively independent
Cut off doubt and disbelief
Come back to love.
Love
Love is a feeling, gentle and true,
It's what connects me and you.
Like a bond that's strong and bright,
Love's a guiding star in the darkest night.
It's in the smiles and laughter we share,
A feeling that shows how much we care.
In times of joy or when we're sad,
Love's the best friend we've ever had.
Wazed Abdullah is a student of grade 8 in Harimohan Government High School, Chapainawabganj, Bangladesh.
