Adventure to Bizarro World

"So what if I've had eleven beers tonight?" fumed Darryl, crumpling up another aluminum can and flinging it across the room. It landed in the cat's litterbox and Baby spat and hissed.

 

"What're you, trying to drink yourself to death?" demanded Olivia, his girlfriend of ten minutes. "If i'd known that was what you were about, I never would have committed myself to your happiness."

 

Darryl blinked. What the hell was this woman, who had just walked through the door an hour ago, even talking about? After snorting up two lines of blow that he'd had in readiness on a pocket mirror, she'd proclaimed her undying love and then passed out. When she awoke, a few moments ago, she had started carping about how much he drank! If he'd wanted scathing criticism, he could have stayed with any of five ex-wives. How could he get rid of her? he wondered. Where did she even come from? She couldn't even get his name right.

 

"Dirwood," she cooed, "when are you coming to bed, honey?" He rolled his eyes,

 

"Who are you?" he asked. He startled, then stared at her with sudden appreciation. She was a dead ringer for the classic vocalist Patti Smith, a gorgeous, sultry, dark-haired creature whom Darryl had always lusted after, back in the day. As if on cue, Olivia suddenly began crooning "Because the Night," until finally, like a spring-wound toy, she ran down.

 

"Tomorrow's our anniversary, honey," said Olivia in a syrupy voice.

"Hell," said Darryl, "I only just met you.."--he checked his watch-- "...seventy minutes ago! Where did you even come from?" he

asked.

 

"From the constellation Gridiron," she replied, then she added coyly, "Do you want to see my Big Dipper?" Darryl frowned, looked closer at Olivia, who now resembled Daffy Duck. Darry shook his head, looked away.

 

"Olivia," he said, "you've changed."

 

Olivia's face suddenly assumed a feral, rodent-like expression and she said, "We're pregnant again, Dirwood."

 

"What's that to do with me?" he demanded.

 

"It takes two gametes to make an embryo," she reminded her boyfriend of 24 minutes. "We did the dirty," she told him.

 

"I did not..." he began, but she cut him off.

 

"You weren't the biggest," she said, "or the hardest, but you were the best!"

 

Swollen by the magnanimity of her words, Darryl preened, threw his arm about her narrow, Patti Smith-like shoulders, and said, "Olivia, will you marry me?"

 

"Of course," she purred, and threw herself into his embrace.

An hour later, Darryl and Olivia, accompanied by their five children, boarded a three-stage rocket bound for Bizarro World, where everything took place in  reverse.

 

"It'll take 430 light years to reach Htrae (Earth spelled backwards)," Darryl told his wife of 84 minutes. What do you want to do to pass the time?"

 

Olivia smiled slyly, then replied winsomely, "Well, Dirwood, we could work on making more ybabs," and embarkation was begun.

In the words of Goldsmith “the good are joyful and serene, like travellers who
are going towards home; the wicked but by intervals are happy, like travellers
who are going into exile.” 

Examine the Vicar of Wakefield as a satirical prose
fiction.

Or
Examine the Vicar of Wakefield as allegorical satire and novel of sentimental
genre.
Or
“Here fears are not quelled or hopes are not fulfilled; burlesquing both
sentimental fiction and readers’ expectations.” Examine the perspective from
the main character of the Restoration novel The Vicar of Wakefield.

Goldsmith's novel is allegorical satire and prose fiction embedded with the
characters of sentimental genre, Goldsmith enshrines his novel in engravings
of an everyman Christian in the role of a materialistic clergyman engulfed by
sentimental views of paterfamilias. The abduction of Sophia and imprisonment
of George are further trials to the reconstitution and restoration to the Vicar’s
family. “The joys that fortunes bring, like trifles and decay; Friendship is but a
name and happiness is still an emptier sound”. 

The Christ-like suffering
experience of fatherhood resonates Christ's crucifixion and vicarious
atonement through the resurrection of the Vicar as well as Olivia and furthermore, the
 restoration of George and Sophia.
Goldsmith’s novel is a place where no man is fond of liberty as not to be 
desirous of subjecting the will of some individuals to his own and where virtue
 is always under siege by the likes of Thornhill, a villain motivated less by lust
than like Deborah by an impulse towards tyranny and revenge.
The vicar’s adherence to individualistic spirits to God’s laws reclaim, “ … “ Olivia’s
seduction by the promiscuity and lust of Mr. Thornhill exemplifies the
catastrophic debacle impacted in the world of rigid adherence to principles and
reaches the moral weakness or frailty of the womanhood in Olivia.  The Vicar of Wakefield broad heartedly and open mindedly embraces the returning
 repentant wretched daughter as exclaimed in his assertiveness of dialogue and
action of personae/ ‘His benevolence lies in his rhetoric and his action often
belies what he professes’ …./ 

Firstly, the Vicar storms in remonstrance and
wrathfulness upon Olivia’s escaping the domestic hearth and eloping with the
seductive Squire Thornhill “Bring me my pistols. I’ll pursue the traitor. While
he is on the earth I shall pursue him.” 

Lastly the Vicar settles down in a
 pacified manner to reclaim his lost daughter despite her wretchedness: / “ever
shall this house and this heart be open to a poor returning repentant sinner…
Yes, the wretched sinner shall be welcome to my house and my heart, tho
 stained with ten thousand vices.” /

The Vicar of Wakefield’s dialogue and rhetoric “I only studied my child’s real
happiness” and “my tenderness as a parent shall never influence my integrity
as a man”. His daughters must be killed off in an unsuccessful ploy to obtain his
 freedom and his sons must cheerfully lie in custody with their father; his wife
 must suffer shame and the penury of the situation; Mossess must labour for
the whole family and this stresses the matter of principle. 

Goldsmith's maxim of
‘submission in adversity’ has been metaphorically satirized in the sense of the
disastrous effects of audacious pride associated with the mastery of
fate. Thus, submission in adversity consecrates the Vicar’s stance as "a
 calm spectator of the flames’ whilst sermonizing lectures and preaching
 homilies to families and exhortations to prisoners and the moral
 climax of the action touches its pinnacle in the maxim of the Vicar's: 
“If our rewards are in this world alone, we are then indeed of all men the most
 miserable.”

The Vicar of Wakefield is in stark contrast to the foil of Ephraim Jenkinson and
this is profoundly evidenced in his exclaiming speech after a colossal
 catastrophe infests to pester his family in ruination as in the instances of
 abduction and elopement, murder and violence, crime and imprisonment and
 burning flames. /“May all the curses that ever sunk a soul fall heavily upon the
 murderer of my children/…/ May the flames continue burning all my
possessions…Here they are!--- I have saved my treasures (my little ones)”/

Jenkinson is an allegorical character of evil being defeated by the triumphant
 force of goodness. “Perhaps you’ll think it was generosity that made me do all
 this. To my shame I confess it, my only design was to keep the license and let 
the Squire know that I could prove it upon him whenever I thought proper and
 so make him come down whenever I wanted money.”

Further Reading and Works Consulted

'The Vicar of Wakefield and the Sentimental Novel’ 
David Durant 
University of 
Kentucky, Studies in English Literature 1500-1900, Summer 1977, Vol. 17, No.
3, Restoration and the Eighteenth Century Summer 1977, pages: 477-491
JSTOR Database George E Haggerty’s Satire and Sentiment In The Vicar of
 Wakefield.

     As long as a person lives in life, he lives with a number of dreams and desires. He constantly searches, strives and works hard to achieve these dreams. I also have many dreams. My first dream is to be a follower of my aunts Nodirabegi, Zebiniso, Uvaisi, Zulfiyakhanim and to contribute to the development of my father’s family with my honest work. In the future, I want to become a teacher like my mother and teachers Nigora Muqimova, Zarnigor Yoldasheva, Feruza Rahmatova and Zarina Aminova. After reading, I became more determined to achieve my goals.
      Our great grandfather remembers: “I was sitting on the lap of my grandfather Amir Temur. A man came to him. My grandfather hurriedly got up. I fell to the ground. Regardless of this, he was eager to meet the next person. Later I found out that he was my grandfather’s teacher. That’s when I felt that the career of a teacher is higher than anything else. That’s when the desire to become a scientist was awakened in my heart.”
Have you seen the power of science? Of course, I will reach my goals. I will be a teacher like my mother and my kind teachers.

Asphyxiation

Entrapped,
not within an empty matchbox,
not within a dungeon
in a castle with a moat,
not within an anchorite cell whose door
has been sealed by a Luciferian foe,
not in an attic with the shadows of lunatics
long imprisoned by a usurping lord,
not within a hole
dug for a corpse
but within a concept,
bred by a culture that nauseates,
asphyxiates, 
appalls.


Menace

The menace of losing my home
looms.
I’m sixty years old whose youth
had flown,
whose health is beginning to feel 
morose,
whose grip on life is loosening,
is loose.

I should have suspected where I trusted,
I’m bruised.

My back, like trees, is marked,
not by circles,
but by stabs
that measure the breadth and depth of a life
ravaged by all sorts of treacheries.

I thought my sixties would bring respite
from toil and strife,
a humble hearth, 
with home-made meals
and an ageing dog,
a tranquil phase
before the everlasting repose,
I was wrong.

John and Elvis Are Dead

John Lennon and Elvis Presley are dead
and George Michael followed in their trail.
I think that artists should be spared  
such tragic exits.

John and Robert Kennedy were shot in the head.
Martin Luther King Jr had met with a similar fate.
I think that pacifists and thinkers should be spared 
the hunter’s bullet.

Mary, Queen of Scots was beheaded
by her cousin, the niece of King Henry the eighth
though both had royal blood in their veins!
 
Jesus Christ was crucified with a couple of thieves
for having declared his genuine kingship.
I think that the quest for the Holy Grail
will last until the end of days.

I would have liked to tell the departed nightingale
that Jesus is alive and well
and none is dead
because they continue living in our heads.

Realms Unveiled


In the realm of tomorrow,
where dreams soar without constraints,
a silver screen unfurls,
painting vivid visions on the canvas of imagination.

Advanced technology becomes a stage,
where untold wonders dance to their own rhythm,
like a boundless symphony of creativity,
captivating the daring hearts of dreamers.

Skyscrapers reach skyward,
a towering tribute to ambition,
echoing whispers of a grand past,
where Hollywood's legacy lingers in whispers.

Machines assume the roles of characters,
with depths unseen and personalities untamed,
an ensemble of artificial souls,
each with a story waiting to be unveiled.

Space stretches its arms wide,
the final frontier of limitless exploration,
Star Wars' legacy dances in the starlight,
Interstellar journeys unfold, galaxies as our playground.

Thrilling encounters come alive,
Jurassic Park roars with ancient echoes,
alien worlds spring forth from Avatar's inspiration,
where wonders thrive in uncharted realms.

Environmental harmony takes center stage,
a scene from The Lorax materializes,
preserving Earth's fragile beauty,
an Inconvenient Truth silently acknowledged.

Nature's majesty shines through the lens,
a Planet Earth documentary unfolds,
revealing the extraordinary tapestry of life,
a testament to the wonders of existence.

The evolution of humanity spins a tale,
The Matrix weaves its intricate web,
where Neo and Trinity rise against the current,
defying boundaries and pushing against the unknown.

In this future world, dreams find their place,
Leonardo DiCaprio's talent embraced as a guiding light,
a tapestry of hope interwoven with anime's delight,
as we embark on an ever-unfolding journey.

Dragon Ball's power-ups and One Piece's grand saga,
ignite wonder in our souls, boundless and untamed,
Studio Ghibli's flights of whimsy inspire,
Miyazaki's spirit lives on, guiding our creative fire.

Beside us, Naruto runs with determination,
while Pikachu's electric spark lights our path,
we author our own story within the realm of anime,
laughter and love intertwined, as cherished friends abide.

Death Note's strategic moves and Attack on Titan's might,
fuel our resolve to face challenges unyielding,
we step forward like Fullmetal Alchemist's quest for truth,
alchemy of dreams fueling our eternal youth.

JoJo's iconic poses defy gravity's constraints,
Sailor Moon's celestial sway whispers of destiny,
a tapestry of hope, interwoven with anime's infinite might,
as we script our own fate beneath the moon's gentle light.



Eyeglass escapades

In the search for my specs, what a quest!
I turn on my phone's light, hoping for the best.

At breakfast, I'm like a swimmer in a sea,
Navigating cutlery, poking eggs with glee.

But wait, what lies beneath the table's edge?
Oh, just the legs, mocking my misplaced pledge.

"Mama, mama, have you seen my specs?"
I mutter, as confusion wrecks.

Books scattered on the bed, no trace in sight,
"Call me Ishmael," I read, my frustration takes flight.

Not in the closet, no frocks or kurtas to keep,
As I rummage through, chaos runs deep.

Living room, kitchen, I search with zest,
Sofas, tables, spice jars put to the test.

Even the garage, fearing it got crushed by a car,
But it's just the exhaust, nothing bizarre.

The bathroom, my final hope, oh dear!
Starting with the toothbrush holder, no specs appear.

Could it be lost in the commode's swirling flush?
My humble abode, carrying my specs, oh hush!

Accepting defeat, a new frame I must obtain,
The lens in ailing grandeur, a funny refrain.

Toiletries back in place, the mirror hangs askew,
And there I stand, wearing my specs, who knew?

Oh, the irony of the search, a comical twist,
Lost in the quest, finding it right on my wrist!

Fizza Abbas is a writer based in Karachi, Pakistan. She is fond of poetry and music. Her work has appeared in more than 90 journals, both online and in print. Her work has also been nominated for Best of The Net and shortlisted for Oxford Brookes International Poetry Competition 2021. 

My experience of learning English

In today’s world, knowledge of a second language is not an uncommon desire but rather a necessity. Being able to talk in another language opens up various possibilities. Learning new foreign languages becomes more and more important in these days. Since my childhood I tried to learn any foreign languages but my favourite one is English. It is one of the international languages, which is used around the world for business, trade, political and economic discussions as well as everyday conversations.

I have been learning English since 6th grade. In the beginning,  I thought English was a difficult language because of grammatical tricks. Fortunately,  I learned it very quickly, and I participated in competitions that are connected with English. When I graduated,  I entered the academic lyceum UzSWLU. I have studied there for two years,  and during my academic period at lyceum, I learned something new, and I was able to pass the CEFR and IELTS exams. Moreover, before taking the exams, I went to extracurricular activities in order to improve my English skills. I met new people who became guides in learning English. I was not limited to the tasks that were given at the training center, I studied at home, went to the mock exams, and practiced every day to improve my listening skills. Since I studied at the Lyceum of World Languages, we organized speaking clubs every week. During quarantine I could not attend courses, but during this difficult period we found a way to prepare for English exams. We arranged various conversational interviews using interactive applications such as Zoom and video chats, I joined language groups, and I met new people. Also, I especially want to mention the work of my teachers. They helped me a lot. There were days when I stopped making progress, but they always supported and motivated me to get back on track. Since my mother works as a teacher, I went to school and sat in on English lessons to learn how the lesson is taught and how the teacher should behave during the lesson. I started teaching English lessons to young children, and while teaching, firstly, I repeated old topics that I had forgotten, and secondly, I taught children to speak English fluently. There is nothing better than seeing the results of your lessons on your students. At first, I watched English movies with subtitles, but soon, I understood movies without subtitles and downloaded various English songs, and listened to them. In May, as I mentioned before, I passed the IELTS and got band score 6. Yes, it is a modest result, but I did my best to learn the language. Therefore, even with the help of this certificate, I did not pass the exams in English. Now I am studying at the University of World Languages. My groupmates know English better than I do, this makes me try to speak English more and more. Thanks to professional teachers, I have attained a lot. The main thing that I learned thanks to these classes is the ability to join any conversation and find a common language with everyone. I really loved the methods of our teachers because they let us do everything on our own, and because of this, we learn how to do everything independently of others.

This is my path in learning English. This goal is still far away, and I will continue until I learn everything about this language. But language is not an exact science, so it will develop and improve day by day.