Essay from Jamshidbek Abdujabborov

Nobody is perfect

Everyone think I'm perfect, that I have a perfect family, that I have good friends, but one thing is for sure! That's fk bullshit! My life is far from perfect! Everyone keeps asking "how can you not have a boyfriend? You are perfect! You are beautiful, all the boys want you! You have a good body, you are so sweet and you only want the best for others" and yes, ofc I do! Bc I know what it's like to treated like shit! NO, I'm NOT perfect!

Nothing about me is perfect! NO all the boys don't want me! I am broken! Everything I have been through has destroyed me inside! I'm not the same as I was yesterday, I'm not the same as I was a week ago, a month ago or a year ago! I do not know who I am, I do not know what I want, I do not know who my friends are, I can't live with my family! Nothing in my life is perfect! My whole world is laughing! The only thing I want for others is the best, be I don't want them to end up like me! I put on a face, so people don't see any other thing that a happy me! No one should see the truth. People won't understand! It anyway! All I do is wait! Wait for something good to happen, wait for me to find myself! But now it doesn't seem to happen! That's just how people are born!

Someone is happy, someone is unhappy and some people are just waiting!
One day..

One day, he'll know. He'll know your birthday, your middle name, your parents' names and where you were born. He'll know your zodiac sign, your eye color, how many scars you have and how you got them. He'll know how many cousins you have and how old you were when you first learned how to ride a bike and exactly how many freckles you have. He's going to know your favorite book, movie, song, food, pair of shoes and color. He'll know your dreams and why you can't sleep at night. He'll understand why you worry about irrelevant things. He'll know that when that one song comes on, he'd better turn it up. He's going to memorize your facial expressions, your laugh when you really think something is funny and the bad habits you wish you could break. He'll know how you don't want to get any older, how much you love golden hour and when the sun sets or rises. He's going to know how many kids you want and what colors you want in your wedding and how you wish you could tell all the people that you hurt how sorry you are. He'll know that you like your coffee with cream and sugar and lots of it. He'll know that it takes you forever and a day to decide where you want to eat and exactly what ice cream you like to order because you never change it. He's going to know how you dance, kiss, smile, walk and sing. He'll figure out what to do when you can't stop crying and he'll know exactly what's wrong before you tell him. One of these days he's going to know everything there is to know about you and he's going to love all of it.

So, be patient and wait for the right person.