Puzzle

I miss someone. I want to do something. Maybe I want to live another life. Maybe I want to be in another era. I must be going to a beautiful country. Maybe I want to work in the field I like. I imagine that I will have a husband, children and a happy life like in the brochure. Maybe I want to see some of the celebrities I want to see. However, I am unable to do any of these things now. I feel so weak and helpless that I cannot describe it in words. I can't even understand who the person I miss is. Maybe my heart understands and my mind is denying. Maybe I'm caught between two rocks. I do not know... Sometimes I like it and sometimes it breaks my heart that my life is full of such puzzles. For some reason, I only write this line when I'm in a pinch. I don't know if it's because people don't get inspired when they're happy, or because when they're happy, they forgot the pain of other times. I didn't even know if it was just me. But the best things is to believe that everything will be fine. As we believed it would be good two years ago and three years ago...

 
Indescribable pain

Sometimes a person doesn't understand himself. For example, this happens to me a lot. You want to pour out your heart to someone, but you can't find the words to say, only the right words. But you're full of pain, pain... You think how to get rid of it, but you can't find a way. You want to cry, it's hard in your throat something is stuck. Wait for tears to flow from your eyes. But unfortunately, you will not shed tears. You will suffer a lot. Right now you are looking for a close friend - a confidant. Unfortunately, everyone is busy with their own pain; and they take your words superficially. They even forget after a few minutes. Because when someone tells you about the pain of a date, your heart won't break. Unfortunately, in a few minutes, you will forget the pain that overturned his whole world. Of course, pain and feelings are not interesting and important to anyone. You realize that you don't understand and put your head on the pillow with pain. Your soft pillow seems to harden with the pain. You get up and open your phone. You try not to get distracted. Unfortunately, none of this helps...
Basically, these pains accumulate during the day and give you excruciating pain in the evening. Sometimes these pains accumulate for years. At worst, I don't feel or understand what is causing this pain. Your conscience, your heart knows, but the date cannot be expressed in words.
But don't be afraid! It doesn't hurt every day. Some are every two days, some are once a week, some are once a month, and some are even once a year. That's when you fall asleep. When you wake up in the morning, you will find that everything is fine and everything is better...

Laylo Bakhtiyorova was born on 11.10.2000 in the Kashkadarya region of Uzbekistan. Currently, she is a graduate student of Tashkent State Pedagogical University. Currently, she is a member of the organizations of Argentina, Russia, and India. She has been helping many young people to enter the international arena.