Essay from Laylo Bakhtiyorova

Central Asian woman with curly dark hair, reading glasses, a white blouse outlined in black, and a blue jacket.
Laylo Bakhtiyorova

Indescribable pain

Sometimes a person doesn’t understand himself. For example, this happens to me a lot. You want to pour out your heart to someone, but you can’t find the words to say, only the right words. But you’re full of pain, pain… You think how to get rid of it, but you can’t find a way. You want to cry, it’s hard in your throat something is stuck. Wait for tears to flow from your eyes. But unfortunately, you will not shed tears. You will suffer a lot. Right now you are looking for a close friend – a confidant. Unfortunately, everyone is busy with their own pain; and they take your words superficially. They even forget after a few minutes. Because when someone tells you about the pain of a date, your heart won’t break. Unfortunately, in a few minutes, you will forget the pain that overturned his whole world. Of course, pain and feelings are not interesting and important to anyone. You realize that you don’t understand and put your head on the pillow with pain. Your soft pillow seems to harden with the pain. You get up and open your phone. You try not to get distracted. Unfortunately, none of this helps…

Basically, these pains accumulate during the day and give you excruciating pain in the evening. Sometimes these pains accumulate for years. At worst, I don’t feel or understand what is causing this pain. Your conscience, your heart knows, but the date cannot be expressed in words.

But don’t be afraid! It doesn’t hurt every day. Some are every 2 days, some are once a week, some are once a month, and some are even once a year. That’s when you fall asleep. When you wake up in the morning, you will find that everything is fine and everything is better…

Laylo Bakhtiyorova was born on 11.10.2000 in the Kashkadarya region of Uzbekistan. Currently, she is a graduate student of Tashkent State Pedagogical University. Currently, she is a member of the organizations of Argentina, Russia, and India. She has been helping many young people to enter the international arena.