The feeling I’m painting is my interpretation of the interaction between me and the subject. If it doesn’t move me, I don’t want to paint it. So when I paint something, I’ve already had an interaction with it. My latest series has been The Universal Field. The Universal Field is beneath our thought – a level of consciousness where we have the same intelligence, probably, as the ocean, or the whole biosphere. I really don’t see those colors, I see a peaceful place that isn’t cluttered with mind chatter. I work the colors until I love them. I’m a colorist. The universal field is that place we go between all the thoughts. It’s smaller than atoms, it’s bigger than the Cosmos. It’s a place where all the intelligence is the same.

My colors are imaginative and come from deep inside me, extraordinary, not ordinary, but extraordinary colors. I work until the energy feels like it isn’t just the thing itself – whatever the thing is – a person, and ocean, or a painting of all the energy beneath us. I paint the feelings and relationships between people in a ‘universal field”.

My colors aren’t from something I learned yesterday – they’re from inside whatever energy that I have always been. If I was to visualize the source of life, I’d visualize it in colors. I work until I have colors that I feel convey a meaning and are not contrived. They’re not ‘school colors’. Colors are energy. I work until the energy feels like it isn’t the thing itself, whatever the thing is. If it’s a person, an ocean, or a painting of all the energy underneath us.

I would like people who see my work to feel ‘moved’; to stand there and feel moved, not just walk by. Maybe it makes them think about things. I want people to feel my work affects them.

You may read more, and contact Geri McGilvray, at www.geriart.net

Suppose you go to work one day, and the walls start talking to you.

You’d like to ignore them, but they are saying things you’ve secretly suspected for years.

You go to a doctor. He hands you to a therapist. The therapist sends you to a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist gives you pills, which he tells you may or may not take care of it. Make another appointment. Plan to do this for life, because the prognosis is not good.

Then, he sends you home.

What now? What do you tell your family? What do you tell your employer (if you still even have an employer?) What do you tell your friends?

What do you say to yourself?

This happens to millions of people a year. But I have yet to see a book that tells people what to do next. Nobody told me. 

What this book has to offer is 36 years of experience on what to do next. 

—

To recap: I am not claiming that altered [mental] states are real or imaginary, good or evil, physical or spiritual. You will surely come to your own conclusions about this. I am merely pointing out that they are human, and that some folks experience them much more often. 

So, what I would say that we, the ‘mentally ill,’ have in common is that we are Prone to Altered States of Consciousness: PASC. It is not a deprecating term. It is merely descriptive. 

— 

The Dually Diagnosed tend to get lost in the Alcoholics or Narcotics Anonymous crowds. We are the recovering, the hardworking, the grateful — and the lonely. We are the ones who did all our footwork, but still didn’t get better. We are the weird among the weird. We don’t feel welcome. We don’t speak up. And we need to.  

When you’ve got this kind of double whammy, you can’t help wondering about your value. Did I do something horribly wrong? Am I being punished for sins I committed in a previous life? Am I simply a weak personality? Is it just bad DNA? Can we posit that, in trying to get away from the exquisite misery of our illnesses, that some of us have adopted alcohol, drugs, and other self-destructive behaviors just for relief? Is the electrical brain mis-wiring so similar to the other that they develop in tandem?  

—

Becoming spiritually sane is not a selfish act. We need [the book’s program] and the program needs us. Through our unique and hard-won insights, we have much to offer…. the power I used to waste on self-blame can now be used for better things.

—

Fruchey continues throughout the rest of the book in a similar style, offering practical suggestions to assist those with psychiatric diagnoses in handling life situations. She suggests affordable ways to enjoy life and spend days when you have too much time and too little money…how to explain your condition to family and friends and employers…how to seek accommodations at work…how to handle awkwardness caused in your friendships and family relationships when you go through depressions and episodes…sort of a ‘Beginner’s Manual to Mental Illness.’

Deborah Fruchey writes from experience, after over 40 years of living with bipolar syndrome. She’s currently seeking representation and publication for Is There Room for Me, Too? You may reach her to discuss her writing – or for support and a shoulder to lean on, if you deal with a similar situation – at lastlaughpro@gmail.com.

Prepublication copies of the book  are available NOW at www.roomformetoo.info. You can also check out Deborah’s blog on mental health issues at www.alteredstatescentral.blogspot.com.

From Deborah Fruchey, suggestion of a magazine by and for mental health consumers:

Open Minds Quarterly

Recovering Lost Scriptures

                                              Introduction    

      In order to understand the nature of Bon[1] terma (hidden treasures) it is best to understand the nature of the texts that were hidden. These texts are considered to be supernatural and sacred in origin. They are considered to have been taught and transmitted by an earlier Buddha who founded the lineage, Tonpa Shenrab Miwoche, and propagated by the sages. Bon history can viewed in a manner that is similar to the great epics such as the Shah Namah, the Ramayana, and the Gesar Tales. These works are historical epics that take on mythic proportions. The sages of these histories were not mere mortals. These were great heroes of superhuman abilities. These were persona possessing magical skills and extremely long lives. The greatest of these was the teacher and founder Tonpa Shenrab Miwoche. He is said to have always been enlightened. Out of compassion He incarnated into the world system in order to liberate all sentient beings. The Bon histories state that He visited many peoples within the six realms of existence. On Earth he is said to have visited many countries. He conquered many demons throughout His ministry. The Bon view of these heroes is that of the shaman and the tantrika[2]. This is reflected in the scriptures of the Bonpo.

Reuben Rutledge may be reached at rutledreub@aol.com and welcomes feedback and conversation.

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Rangda and Barong

                        Reuben L. Rutledge, Ph.D abd

     The conflict between Rangda and Barong is an important part of Balinese culture. Rangda is the dark, liminal Goddess. She is a manifestation of Durga the Goddess of Death. She is the Queen of the Leyaks. Her armies of bhutas, kalas, and leyaks (types of demons) cause malice, illness, misfortune, and the destruction of crops. She is Mahendratta the Widow Queen. According to Margaret Mead, Rangda is a mother figure, the expression of parent/child relationship in Bali. Rangda is the personification of fear. She is a hairy elderly woman with pendulous breasts. Her eyes bulge. From Her mouth huge fangs and a lolling flaming tongue appear. Her hands are equipped with long nails. She is a resident of cemeteries were She feasts on corpses. She has an appetite for children.   She is associated with black magic.  Her main disciples are Raroeng, Lendi, and Waksisia. When Rangda departs, Raroeng then becomes the ruler. Barong is the personification of white magic. He is the powerful protector clearing away the demonic that crosses His path. Barong is the kaya polarity. He is also associated with King Erlanga. There are various forms of Barong. Barong Matjan is a tiger. Barong Bangkal is a boar. Barong Gadjah is an elephant. Barong Singa is a lion. Barong Lemboe is a cow. The most common and important form of him is Barong Keket, a fantastical abstract beast. Barong is a tantric manifestation of Rangda. He is the propitiated form of Rangda, converted from being a destroyer into a protector. [1] Barong’s appearance is not unlike a Chinese dragon or lion. He is portrayed in a two-person costume. Barong Keket’s face strongly resembles a Chinese lion. This costume is covered with golden hair. The masker’s behavior is not unlike that of Chinese lion dancers. Chinese traders probably introduced this image.  In their battles, neither of them wins. The battles are always a draw.

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Much of the world’s best music – jazz, blues, rock – can credit the traditional songs of one or more cultures as an inspiration. Now, many world music performers are exploring these cultural traditions, bringing local music onto an international stage.

Fresh and centered from the afternoon yoga class she teaches, Ramana Viera shared from her heart and imagination about the creative process of writing and performing Portuguese songs together with a group of other innovative musicians.

Here’s a paraphrased excerpt from my conversation with Viera – but first, she would like to thank her very supportive production company, Pacific Coast Music, for the work they put in producing her latest album, Lagrimas del Rainha.

You may visit their website, and listen to and buy the music, here: http://ramanavieira.net/

Ramana Viera (RV): People are more aware of traditional music nowadays…we’ve heard of Gypsy, or Roma, music, and Spanish flamenco. And Portuguese music has a style all its own. We have a kind of music, fado, which is more sedate, usually has three guitar players, and serves a cultural function like American blues. Fado deals with themes such as lost love, grief, and nostalgia.

Cristina Deptula (CD): So, do you perform traditional fado, or do you mix things up a bit?

RV: Our band loves the traditional pieces, and the history of that music. We do innovate when it comes to fado: we’ve used electric guitars and incorporated Latin rhythms. When we experiment with something different, that’s not at all because we don’t like the traditional way. Often, it can be hard to find very traditional fado performers in this area, so we make do with what we have. 

From what I’ve seen, the Portuguese community’s great at performing music at our festas and parties, but I’d love to see people take the music to the larger world.

There are some wonderful traditional musicians around, though – Ana Moura, Mariza, Dulce Pontes, Helder Carvalhiera, for example – and we’ve learned from them.

CD: So you have a lot of influences…how exactly does one musician influence another? Is it conscious or unconscious? Does a new musician set out to emulate a person or play in a certain style, or does it just happen?
RV: Sometimes someone’s music just takes hold of you! I’m most inspired by Portuguese musician Amalia Rodrigues, along with Kate Bush and Tori Amos. I admire people such as these three, who can combine various art forms, who write and perform their own songs. Musicians who aren’t just front people for a band, but who really help create and embody the characters they present in their songs.

CD: Your new song Lagrimas de Rainha (Tears of a Queen) certainly presents many powerful emotions. Would you like to share the story behind that piece?

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I went to the Farmer’s Market one Saturday, deliriously happy that we had a break in the rain, and that the sun and the clouds were high overhead. I was sampling the cheese when she passed me….A lady in a wheelchair, without a leg.

“Lord have mercy,” I whispered, and prayed I would have a chance to meet her and tell her I would pray. As I rounded a corner and then stopped by the kettle corn vendor, there she was. She was right in front of me. Her name was Linda, she was missing one of her arms and one of her legs and she had a motorized wheelchair. Her other arm was burned as if she had been in a fire.

I prayed and asked her a few questions about herself. She stays at a county hospital. She has a roommate. I told her to have a good day and that I would be praying for her. As I walked away, I do what I always do. I cried and aked the Lord to please take this burden from me, for it was too much to bear.

Then I heard his still, small voice….”I know all about it,” He seemed to say. I knew the matter was ended and I could leave it in His all-powerful hands. We have so much and others often have so little, yet if they have the creator of the universe on their side, there is no limit as to what can be done in and through them.

Patsy Ledbetter may be reached at patsyled@sbcglobal.net and is also a classically trained violinist!